When do ISTPs share their deeper emotions? - Page 4

alicia91 · 09-27-2008, 01:51 PM

I don't walk around full of 'emotions' so generally there isn't much to share in that department. When I do have a strong emotional reaction and/or something is going on, then I've learned over the years that the best outcome is always when I've mulled it over and come to a conclusion MYSELF. So what good is it to share it?

I can think of a few times when I've needed some advice and I've shared but in half those cases I've regretted it because the person I shared with kept bugging me about it, even though I had listened to their advice and/or support and I was done working it out. I get over things very quickly OR I make the decision to forget about it but some people just want to harp on much later when I'm over it.

Strangely enough, people want to talk to ME with their emotional problems and claim I'm good at making them feel better. I guess that has to do with me being able to calm them down and see things rationally.

INTJMom · 09-27-2008, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley

I'm wondering under what circumstances do ISTPs let a person "in," and share their feelings? Question for the ISTPs and those who have experience with this lovely type

When my husband and I were "courting" I remember we went to the ocean and sat on a rock and talk about our past and our feelings and our dreams.

These days, his "feelings" look like anger and complaining.

ajblaise · 09-27-2008, 04:52 PM

They share their emotions in the 10 minute gap between too drunk and passing out.

substitute · 09-28-2008, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajblaise

They share their emotions in the 10 minute gap between too drunk and passing out.

Ha, my thoughts exactly. And then forget EVERYTHING they said (and you said) next day

Seriously people, this is experience talkin' here!

Colors · 09-30-2008, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lauren_Ashley

I'm wondering under what circumstances do ISTPs let a person "in," and share their feelings? Question for the ISTPs and those who have experience with this lovely type

I've been mulling over a response to this question for this thread for about a month...

The truth is- I feel that I almost always do (share my emotions). I'm a very transparent person. And yet misunderstandings persist amongst people whom I respect and interact with on a fairly consistent basis that I don't.

My hypothesis is that I'm lacking in some sort of socially-recognized "structure" for how emotions are "shared". As I've grown older, I've sort of learned to usually express through humor, which goes over better than just bluntness- but also sometimes means my friends miss the content over the delivery (sometimes even deliberately).

What is a "deeper" emotion anyway? Is it "deeper" just because it's supposedly shameful?

When don't I share my emotions? a) When I'm unaware of them/ have no idea what they are or mean. b) When I feel insecure. c) When I feel people don't want to know. I'm becoming soft or something. I actually feel bad when I subject people to listening to exactly what I'm thinking/feeling when they're already doing such a good job of ignoring.

yugyug · 09-30-2008, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colors

When don't I share my emotions? a) When I'm unaware of them/ have no idea what they are or mean. b) When I feel insecure. c) When I feel people don't want to know. I'm becoming soft or something. I actually feel bad when I subject people to listening to exactly what I'm thinking/feeling when they're already doing such a good job of ignoring.

* Nods *

Lauren Ashley · 10-05-2008, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colors

What is a "deeper" emotion anyway? Is it "deeper" just because it's supposedly shameful?

No, it doesn't have to be shameful, in fact it's usually not. An example be just expressing how much you appreciated something, in detail.

mcgooglian · 10-12-2008, 05:47 AM

I never reveal my deeper feelings. If anyone asks how I feel about something or someone, I won't reveal how I really feel, I'll just reply with something that won't require much explanation or I'll figure out a way to avoid answering it. I'm the same as Alicia, people seem to come to me with their problems. One of my friends even said that I asked the best questions when it came to helping her. I've also been told that people act calmer around me. The main reason why I don't reveal my feelings is because I don't feel comfortable revealing them to people I'm not close to and I tend to avoid getting to close to people. Hell, I don't even reveal my feelings to my own family.

A Schnitzel · 10-12-2008, 06:13 AM

You seem to be operating on the assumption that ISTPs have deep emotions.

Colors · 10-12-2008, 06:32 AM

I'm starting to see the value of private forums.

10-12-2008, 06:32 AM	#40 (permalink)
Colors De-bearded Wizard Guide Join Date: Apr 2007 Type: ISTP Location: Life-escap-y land Posts: 619	I'm starting to see the value of private forums. __________________ "In their youth, no one realizes that the trees that stretch into the sky are, at the same time, sending their roots deeper and deeper into the earth." - Lady Iwa, Dragon Sword and Wind Child by Noriko Ogiwara Ti >> Se > Ne > Fi >>> Te > Si >> Fe > Ni

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09-27-2008, 01:51 PM	#31 (permalink)
alicia91 Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Type: ISTP Location: Rochester Hills, MI Posts: 586	I don't walk around full of 'emotions' so generally there isn't much to share in that department. When I do have a strong emotional reaction and/or something is going on, then I've learned over the years that the best outcome is always when I've mulled it over and come to a conclusion MYSELF. So what good is it to share it? I can think of a few times when I've needed some advice and I've shared but in half those cases I've regretted it because the person I shared with kept bugging me about it, even though I had listened to their advice and/or support and I was done working it out. I get over things very quickly OR I make the decision to forget about it but some people just want to harp on much later when I'm over it. Strangely enough, people want to talk to ME with their emotional problems and claim I'm good at making them feel better. I guess that has to do with me being able to calm them down and see things rationally.

09-27-2008, 04:52 PM	#33 (permalink)
ajblaise Postmaster General Join Date: Aug 2008 Type: INTP Location: Potsdam, NY Posts: 2,213	They share their emotions in the 10 minute gap between too drunk and passing out.

10-12-2008, 05:47 AM	#38 (permalink)
mcgooglian Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Type: istp Posts: 1	I never reveal my deeper feelings. If anyone asks how I feel about something or someone, I won't reveal how I really feel, I'll just reply with something that won't require much explanation or I'll figure out a way to avoid answering it. I'm the same as Alicia, people seem to come to me with their problems. One of my friends even said that I asked the best questions when it came to helping her. I've also been told that people act calmer around me. The main reason why I don't reveal my feelings is because I don't feel comfortable revealing them to people I'm not close to and I tend to avoid getting to close to people. Hell, I don't even reveal my feelings to my own family.

10-12-2008, 06:13 AM	#39 (permalink)
A Schnitzel Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Type: INTP Location: INTPcentral Posts: 114	You seem to be operating on the assumption that ISTPs have deep emotions.