ISTJs & Feelings

[PinkIceTD]

Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP

Yeah, being an ENFP it's sometimes hard to understand ISTJs being exact opposites and all

It's just so hard for me to grasp and understand how a person could want something so bad and then talk themselves out of it. It's just foreign to me. If there's a decision that needs to be made and my heart overweighs my mind, I choose heart. haha, too much F i suppose

I have never heard ANYTHING that rang more true to me. I have an ISTJ friend and I am only starting to understand him a little, but I still can't imagine making decisions the way he does. Sometimes I do admire it though...

[Jack Flak]

The ISTJs I've known seem to have an unhealthy relationship with their emotions. They don't understand their feelings, and their feelings can get the better of them. I don't have a solution to this problem to offer.

[PinkIceTD]

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...

[Jack Flak]

Originally Posted by PinkIceTD

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...

For the record, I was only referring to their contentment, not the contentment of the company they keep.

[Leysing]

My ISTJ father is a real drama queen when he is too stressed to control his emotions. Beats my ESFJ mother.

[Beat]

Originally Posted by PinkIceTD

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...

This is about accurate. For me anyways.

[2XtremeENFP]

Hmm the ISTJs I know don't even consider other people's feelings in their decisions

[ShinyRoo]

Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP

Hmm the ISTJs I know don't even consider other people's feelings in their decisions

I am an ISTJ and I always consider other people's feelings, maybe too much sometimes. I think I do that out of a sense of knowing it is the "right thing to do" and I "should" do it. I also do it because it avoids later conflict and I hate conflict (weird for a T, I know). When I was little, I didn't account for others and I was ALWAYS making my F parents mad! So, I learned.

[Condor]

I can't consider the feelings of someone else when I make a decision. I don't consider myself a cold-hearted so-and-so (although others do); it's simply a matter of expediency. Since I have no sense of how another human being internalizes anything (each will react according to his or her own sense of values and experiences) attempting to factor that into a decision seems kind of counter-productive.

With regard to my own feelings, I express them; but I also understand why I feel happy, sad, etc. As an example, one of the things that amuses me about people is when they drive. People who speed up to pass me and then slam on the brakes to stop at the light that I know is going to turn red always gets a wry smile from me. The smile is not based on what theydid (or didn't do); it's the feeling of wondering if they learned something from the experience and realizing they probably didn't. They are then classified as potential hazards and the feeling passes.

[animenagai]

Originally Posted by Condor

Since I have no sense of how another human being internalizes anything (each will react according to his or her own sense of values and experiences) attempting to factor that into a decision seems kind of counter-productive.

i think this is the key point of the whole thread. i think a lot of people here, especially F's think that they know how to read people very well. ISTJ's may find the notion of identifying feelings of others, of themselves, alien. therefore, the logical thing for them to do is to not put it into the picture. the way to let an ISTJ talk about emotions could therefore be explaining to them how emotions are a logical variable at least, therefore they can address them with more confidnece.