ISTJs & Feelings

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP

How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?

Hmmm. I am imagining how I'd react if my ISTJ husband tried to convince my very ENFP self to research something to death, and plan it out from start to finish. The very thought of that makes me cringe. So, I imagine if I somehow convinced him to hop in the car and drive to some unknown destination (we'll figure it out as we go...) He would quite likely implode. Bottom line? Nope, I don't think I, or anyone else, could convince him to make a decision based on feelings, and result in him feeling good about it.

[Jennifer]

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

Oooooh. So, this would explain why my husband thinks I am a bit loony. But, the way I figure, we balance each other out.

[Jennifer]

Originally Posted by IntermitntTranquiliT

Oooooh. So, this would explain why my husband thinks I am a bit loony. But, the way I figure, we balance each other out.

yeah, I would prefer the phrase "balance each other out" to "cancel each other out.:"

Honestly, if you guys can make it work, you both can compensate for weaknesses and help each other grow stronger.

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

yeah, I would prefer the phrase "balance each other out" to "cancel each other out.:"

Honestly, if you guys can make it work, you both can compensate for weaknesses and help each other grow stronger.

It's true. Together, we are centered.

Besides... I cannot imagine two of ME living in the same house....

[2XtremeENFP]

Yeah, being an ENFP it's sometimes hard to understand ISTJs being exact opposites and all

It's just so hard for me to grasp and understand how a person could want something so bad and then talk themselves out of it. It's just foreign to me. If there's a decision that needs to be made and my heart overweighs my mind, I choose heart. haha, too much F i suppose

[Hmm]

Originally Posted by Jennifer

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

Yeah.

Jennifer, I wish I could hire you to explain me to the people I know in real life. lol

[Mondo]

Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP

How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?

I have a question for you.
When would you consider it to be okay to make a decision based off feeling?
I find that I can often apply logic to make decisions that ensure that those around me are satisfied- being diplomatic and logical are not mutually exclusive.

[2XtremeENFP]

I have a question for you.
When would you consider it to be okay to make a decision based off feeling?
I find that I can often apply logic to make decisions that ensure that those around me are satisfied- being diplomatic and logical are not mutually exclusive.
__________________

See, I find that using my feeling helps me keep harmony in a group or any other situation. Logically, there could be better choices maybe, but at times, I find logically based decisions to be cut-throat and not thinking about others feelings.

A stupid example, but nonetheless an example, if a group of people wanted to do something that I wasn't going to be entertained by, I would decide to do it so other people can have fun and I don't want to stand in the way of what a whole group wants. But I feel, some Ts that I know, would rather sit out on an activity or even try and persuade others to do what they want to do, because they don't like a certain activity, and therefore they find it illogical to suck it up and partake in it.

Ah, does that make any sense??

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I feel like Ts are very logical, but look out for themselves when making a decision.

[Mondo]

Originally Posted by 2XtremeENFP

See, I find that using my feeling helps me keep harmony in a group or any other situation. Logically, there could be better choices maybe, but at times, I find logically based decisions to be cut-throat and not thinking about others feelings.

A stupid example, but nonetheless an example, if a group of people wanted to do something that I wasn't going to be entertained by, I would decide to do it so other people can have fun and I don't want to stand in the way of what a whole group wants. But I feel, some Ts that I know, would rather sit out on an activity or even try and persuade others to do what they want to do, because they don't like a certain activity, and therefore they find it illogical to suck it up and partake in it.

Ah, does that make any sense??

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I feel like Ts are very logical, but look out for themselves when making a decision.

I get what you're saying. That's something that really bugs me about my INTJ friend actually. In that case, I would go on with the activity but also point out some things we could do next time that I think we'll all enjoy.

I can think of an example where I relate to this much.. my friends and I love this movie called "Grindhouse".. I thought it was awesome the first time and the second time.. but after seeing it five times.. it's getting kind of old but it seems that most of my friends still want to see it over and over again- ugh! I'm thankful for two things in that respect.

a.) I have one other friend who doesn't want to see the movie again- after seeing it four or five times.
b.) I have possession of the movie..