I have this weird problem: ISFJ women.

[01011010]

I've dated quite a few ISFJ women. They always make me want to pull my hair out. Yet, l'm attracted to them more than the other types. It's like I'm very slow to develop any feelings and even when I do, I rarely show it. ISFJs are generally warm and affectionate people. I know I'm looking for qualities I don't have, within them.

[Hmm]

I don't get what we do that's so bad. I guess I'm clueless about this.

[spirilis]

Originally Posted by Hmm

I don't get what we do that's so bad. I guess I'm clueless about this.

I've noticed sometimes there are things that other people do that drive me nuts, make me want to pull my hair out, etc. I'm guessing I do things that annoy people just the same. I guess that's what you're seeing here; a bunch of people complaining about things they've seen other ISFJs do that turn them off. I'm still curious how much of it is verifiably type-related though.

[booyalab]

Originally Posted by FDG

I'll give you an example of what I mean. I was on the train with my girlfriend, sitting in a slack position. In a bitchy tone - so, not jokingly - she told me "You always sit slack you'll look like an homeless person!". I told her "If you think this, get away from this seat, now, and leave this homeless person fucking alone and get yourself somebody else, and let me do whatever I want to do, okay?".

That's like something I'd say, and that's why I could never be with an SJ.
Male SJs don't take kindly to backtalk from their wimmunz.

[Hmm]

Originally Posted by spirilis

I'm still curious how much of it is verifiably type-related though.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. A lot of it sounds gender related to me, not necessarily type related.

[Hang]

Perhaps. ISFJ make great parents. They are very loving. I heard that many T males are attracted to this type because some think that they can take advantage of them and get away with it. In some cases they do. I know most ISFJ or ISFP in a relationship that act as a pedestal wife or husband. The spouse would go off doing their business with someone else, then come home without the ISFJ or ISFP knowing.

[Hmm]

Originally Posted by Hang

Perhaps. ISFJ make great parents. They are very loving. I heard that many T males are attracted to this type because some think that they can take advantage of them and get away with it. In some cases they do. I know most ISFJ or ISFP in a relationship that act as a pedestal wife or husband. The spouse would go off doing their business with someone else, then come home without the ISFJ or ISFP knowing.

Is that really just an ISFJ/P thing though? I would be REALLY shocked if it is. I thought the whole being a pedestal wife/husband was just a love thing, not a type thing.

[phoenix13]

Originally Posted by Athenian200

Also, I think that type is related to intelligence to some degree. For instance, I'm an INFJ. That means I'm dumber than all the NT's (which I understand and accept), as smart or slightly smarter than most other NF types, can be smarter or dumber than an SJ depending on their age, skill set, and subject. I am smarter than SP's excluding ISTP's, who are sometimes slighter smarter or dumber.

OK, it's easy to think this. I thought this at one point. I can tell you for sure that "intelligence" is NOT equal to cognitive proccess. It may be that certain cognitive processes (ex. Ti + Ne) may tend to attract people to certain subjects (ex. theoretical physics), but it has nothing to say about innate ability. If you suck at math, you suck at math, no matter what cognitive processes you "prefer." (btw, I can offer TONS of "exceptions" to your assertion. Here's one: INFP female best friend is getting her PhD from stanford in physical chemistry.)

Also, intelligence is a loaded term. I've always wondered what people mean when they say they're looking for intelligence in a mate. Does this mean the ability to learn new skills quickly? The ability to store enormous quantities of trivia with minimal effort? The ablilty to memorize entire symphonies after one hearing?

I think you need to think more deeply about what intelligence is, and what "thinking" is and "feeling." A better understanding of what these processes are will help you distinguish them from your perceptions of intelligence. From where I'm standing, being an ENFP does NOT make me any less intelligent than my INTP peers (and I've blown enough minds to back that up).

[Jeffster]

Originally Posted by phoenix13

Also, intelligence is a loaded term. I've always wondered what people mean when they say they're looking for intelligence in a mate. Does this mean the ability to learn new skills quickly? The ability to store enormous quantities of trivia with minimal effort? The ablilty to memorize entire symphonies after one hearing?

It might mean they are looking for a mate who doesn't spend a lot of time drooling or staring at a banana with wide eyes saying "yellow...yellow...yello nana. hee hee hee *giggle*"

Now, personally, I would find that totally HOT and definitely look for it in a girl, but some guys wouldn't, ya know?

[istpunk]

I dated an ISFJ woman once.

After meeting a couple ISFJ men I come to realize that IxSJs can clash big time once we get personal with the IxTPs. And it's the IxSJ's fault because they have a need to be dominant in their relationships. When someone is stepping out of line they stomp on them. No offense but ISxJ's would be perfect Hitler SS Soldiers, marching to no end to preserve a tyrant's thought. ISTPs are the ones that assassinate the guardians, because we see not the evil but the support for the possibility of evil.

You guys are really great people you ISTJ or ISFJ, good government types.