Confidence level in your SO.

[01011010]

I'd prefer my SO was more confident about her body. She fakes it for my benefit and it annoys me to no end. She works out and takes care of herself. She's attractive but she has deep seated emotional issues from her past that prevent her from being pleased with her physical looks.

[kyuuei]

I suppose everyone likes a balance.. but I'm still not sure if too much or too little is what I least prefer.

Too much confidence tends to lead to arrogance and, like stated above, makes me feel like I'm not at all necessary.

Too little makes me feel like I don't have a man at my side. I suppose in the end, I'd prefer slightly more confident. I couldn't stand it when I was in a relationship and made EVERY decision by myself. I could walk all over this guy, and do what I wanted, and he never even once raised a hand against it even if he could and would be justified in doing so. Obviously we weren't in love or anything.. but it made me feel like I could never be the woman .. even when I wanted to be.

I think confidence is heavily linked between the roles of men and women in relationships with each other (speaking for hetero relationships, as that's all I've been in.). Just as it seems men would rather deal with a woman with less, I'd rather deal with a bit more if given the ultimatum.

[gloomy-optimist]

I like it when the person is confident enough to be themselves. Someone who can wear what they want, who isn't afraid to go against the crowd a bit (that's not to say just people who look/act different; some people conform to nonconformity). A true understanding and embracing of self is beautiful~
But cockiness is not (unless it's playful). I don't like people making me feel like they're better than I am.

[Hmm]

I haven't given this much thought beyond wanting someone who is confident enough to interact with me.

[Jack Flak]

Mutual respect and competence is a plus.

[Nocapszy]

Mutual respect doesn't occur without competence.
May as well just say mutual respect.

[sanveane]

Originally Posted by ajblaise

How confident do you like your romantic interests to be? Do you distinguish between different types of confidence, such as compensatory pseudo-confidence and true confidence? Is there a point when confidence just becomes obnoxious for you?

I suppose confidence is more of an issue for women concerning men, but in women, I appreciate it a lot but sometimes it is clear to me that it's disingenuous to a degree and is used to cover up something.

Well placed self-confidence is nice. Over-confidence initially doesn't bother me if it's in an attempt to connect. Over-confidence is a huge turn-off if he just wants to dominate though, blurgh. I truly don't mind a less confident guy. I'm inclined to think they are 'being themselves' which is what I really like.

[Jack Flak]

Originally Posted by Nocapszy

Mutual respect doesn't occur without competence.
May as well just say mutual respect.

Redundancy added for a "general audience."

[CaptainChick]

I value confidence and kindness in everybody, including potential SOs.

[toonia]

Originally Posted by ajblaise

How confident do you like your romantic interests to be? Do you distinguish between different types of confidence, such as compensatory pseudo-confidence and true confidence? Is there a point when confidence just becomes obnoxious for you?

It can definitely get obnoxious. There are two things I consider - first, I am fond of people who have some grip on reality. People who overestimate their skill level reveal a rather deep lack of comprehension about both the skill requirements and their own self. I appreciate people who are genuine and not just image conscious. I am attracted to the person who actually has the goods, so they don't have to waste energy proving it in the eyes of others.

It also helps to be with someone I can relate to in terms of skill, confidence, and self doubt. It's kinda nice to be with someone who is human with their short-comings which are dealt with truthfully and with a little courage.

Originally Posted by ajblaise

I suppose confidence is more of an issue for women concerning men, but in women, I appreciate it a lot but sometimes it is clear to me that it's disingenuous to a degree and is used to cover up something.

For my own self, I don't consider it that big of a problem that I have my share of self doubt. While it can be debilitating if I don't face up to the anxiety, it also provides insight into strategies to deal with limitations, it keeps my mind open and questioning so that I can learn, and it makes it easy to view others with more understanding. I've learned it's actually okay to be human. I like to keep it simple, and so feel it is better when I feel insecure about something to take a deep breath and do my best with a willingness to accept the fact that I have limitations which include self-doubt.