Succinct Rules for Good Communication

[Edahn]

Anyone else? I'm sure that in all of your failed relationships you must have learned something. C'mon people!

[ptgatsby]

Originally Posted by Edahn

Anyone else? I'm sure that in all of your failed relationships you must have learned something. C'mon people!

The only thing I can say is...

Don't learn from bad relationships, learn from good ones. It doesn't matter how many bad relationships you learn from, it still doesn't teach you how to foster a good one.

Communication takes time. There is no magic method that makes things good. It isn't hard to do, once. It is very hard to always control your behavior and not break the 'good communication rules'. (Which are essentially - validate what they say, listen to what they say, don't make it personal, seek a mutual solution.)

[Journey]

Sometimes, just sometimes, smile and forgive without saying anything at all (or as Crystal Gayle sings: "Smile if it kills you, find some common thing to say--cause there ain't no doubt when you work it all out, it's too good to throw away.") The only trouble with this rule is you truly have to forgive and forget it, not stuff it or it will turn to bitterness and come out later.

[hiddengem]

This are a couple of things that I have recently learned:

You can understand someone's point of view, but you don't have to agree with it. Validation and empathy don't require you to give up anything of yourself. But they are essential in creating a supportive and loving relationship. Most of the time people just want someone that listens to them without judging them and who will accept them the way they are.

I have also learned that the way I react to an issue says more about me than it does about my spouse. Understanding why certain things set me off allows me to short circuit a negative reaction. It takes a lot of reflection and self-discovery but ultimately it is worth it.

[Jack Flak]

Originally Posted by hiddengem

You can understand someone's point of view, but you don't have to agree with it. Validation and empathy don't require you to give up anything of yourself. But they are essential in creating a supportive and loving relationship. Most of the time people just want someone that listens to them without judging them and who will accept them the way they are.

"That's good. You've taken your first step into a larger world." --Ben Kenobi

[01011010]

Be able to admit when your wrong
Take responsibility for your actions
Ask questions
Process
Talk