ESTJ + ENTP?

[hotmale]

What are the ramifications of our two types together? What kinds of things do the ENTP woman want the ESTJ to do that would make her feel loved?

[ygolo]

Originally Posted by hotmale

What are the ramifications of our two types together? What kinds of things do the ENTP woman want the ESTJ to do that would make her feel loved?

Don't know, but I will provide the functional lasagna model again.

ESTJ
Te-Si-Ne-Fi-Ti-Se-Ni-Fe
ENTP
Ne-Ti-Fe-Si-Ni-Te-Fi-Se

And then make a leap by matching up functions in their respective roles. I'll keep things positive:

• What leads you is what helps your ENTP make discoveries.
• What supports you is what your ENTP aspires to.
• What brings you relief is what leads your ENTP.
• What you aspire to your ENTP will find comedic.
• What you use as back-up is what supports your ENTP.
• What you helps you make discoveries is transforms your ENTP.
• What you find comedic is what your ENTP uses as back-up.
• What trasforms you is what gives relief to your ENTP.

[hotmale]

Originally Posted by ygolo

• What leads you is what helps your ENTP make discoveries.
• What supports you is what your ENTP aspires to.
• What brings you relief is what leads your ENTP.
• What you aspire to your ENTP will find comedic.
• What you use as back-up is what supports your ENTP.
• What you helps you make discoveries is transforms your ENTP.
• What you find comedic is what your ENTP uses as back-up.
• What trasforms you is what gives relief to your ENTP.

Hmmm...Thanks. I was looking for more practical information though. ENTPs seem to primarily live in the abstract world- and I am much more concerned about practical matters that she often overlooks. She's sort of absent-minded- whereas I am very conscientious and seems to spend a lot of time socializing on the internet.

[Athenian200]

Originally Posted by hotmale

Hmmm...Thanks. I was looking for more practical information though. ENTPs seem to primarily live in the abstract world- and I am much more concerned about practical matters that she often overlooks. She's sort of absent-minded- whereas I am very conscientious and seems to spend a lot of time socializing on the internet.

Actually, N's do primarily live in the abstract world, and they tend to overlook practical matters. You'll have to be willing to deal with and accommodate that if you want to be friends with any of them.

[hotmale]

Originally Posted by athenian200

Actually, N's do primarily live in the abstract world, and they tend to overlook practical matters. You'll have to be willing to deal with and accommodate that if you want to be friends with any of them.

I think it's more that I would like her to spend more time with me- than wanting her to change her personality- which I happen to be very fond of. Since she is very much interested in abstract pursuits, what would be a good strategy for her to accompany me to events which she absolutely hates? I like to go out to a good party- whereas she would rather stay home and read a book. I don't mind she has these interests- it's just sometimes, I would like her to make more of an effort as opposed to me always making the suggestions.

[Athenian200]

Originally Posted by hotmale

I think it's more that I would like her to spend more time with me- than wanting her to change her personality- which I happen to be very fond of. Since she is very much interested in abstract pursuits, what would be a good strategy for her to accompany me to events which she absolutely hates? I like to go out to a good party- whereas she would rather stay home and read a book. I don't mind she has these interests- it's just sometimes, I would like her to make more of an effort as opposed to me always making the suggestions.

She probably wishes that you didn't expect her to go places like parties as often as you ask her to, and probably wishes you just wanted to analyze abstract ideas and such. But if you would decide to somewhere with a mix of intellectual and anecdotal conversation, that might be enough. She probably entertains your suggestions because she likes you, but that's probably not what she really finds interesting. Even if it is, she probably isn't really interested in thinking about that kind of thing on her own initiative. You see?

Ironically, trying to get someone to accompany you to events they hate... kind of is trying to change their personality. However, I suppose you could ask what she wants to do, and then say, "I'll do that with you, if you do this with me." You can set it up as a compromise, I presume.

[Maverick]

Originally Posted by hotmale

I think it's more that I would like her to spend more time with me- than wanting her to change her personality- which I happen to be very fond of. Since she is very much interested in abstract pursuits, what would be a good strategy for her to accompany me to events which she absolutely hates? I like to go out to a good party- whereas she would rather stay home and read a book. I don't mind she has these interests- it's just sometimes, I would like her to make more of an effort as opposed to me always making the suggestions.

The best way to increase the chances that she participates in activities with you is by presenting her what you want to do, explaining why it is important to you and letting her freely make a decision without her feeling pressured.

For example, supposing you are invited to A's place. You might present the situation in the following manner: "We're invited to A's place. I would like to go there. I would enjoy it if you came with me as I like being with you at parties. However, I have no problem with you staying at home if that is what you wish. I would not be offended if you do. So, what would you like to do?".

If you have to talk about the issue, do not cause an argument. Simply state things in the following way: "I understand that you don't like participating in these activities. However, I must also tell you that I feel it's a pity because I would like to share my enjoyment of them with you. At the same time, I want to respect your preferences". Importantly, you must never get angry at her for not coming. This may seem counter-intuitive and feel weak in the short-term but it yields higher rewards in the long term. What you have to achieve is to make her empathize with your position instead of feeling obliged to participate. The reason for this is that, if she feels the latter, she will react in a knee jerk manner to re-assert her independence and show she cannot be controlled. This will subsequently make her more resistant to future demands as she will have associated this specific behavioral response to your specific demand. She must feel as though there will be no negative consequences on your behalf if she doesn't. This will not only make her feel loved but it will also maximize the chances of her coming.

[substitute]

Originally Posted by Maverick

The best way to increase the chances that she participates in activities with you is by presenting her what you want to do, explaining why it is important to you and letting her freely make a decision without her feeling pressured.

Yes, absolutely. ENTP's like to be reasonable and accommodating, but if we feel pressured or emotionally blackmailed or manipulated in any way, we'll either dig our heels in - or take to them! In those situations we can be very cold and ruthless in cutting people dead.

[Blackwater]

boy, you're in for a hard time. but if both of you are really comitted of course you can do it

Romantic Matches and the MBTI

[hotmale]

Originally Posted by athenian200

She probably wishes that you didn't expect her to go places like parties as often as you ask her to, and probably wishes you just wanted to analyze abstract ideas and such. But if you would decide to somewhere with a mix of intellectual and anecdotal conversation, that might be enough. She probably entertains your suggestions because she likes you, but that's probably not what she really finds interesting. Even if it is, she probably isn't really interested in thinking about that kind of thing on her own initiative. You see?

Ironically, trying to get someone to accompany you to events they hate... kind of is trying to change their personality. However, I suppose you could ask what she wants to do, and then say, "I'll do that with you, if you do this with me." You can set it up as a compromise, I presume.

Well, she did oblige the last time we had gone out. I suppose in a sense she finds "small talk" dull and won't engage in it. I suppose she was being a good sport. I'm interested in bringing her out of her shell however, as she tends to withdraw very easily and gets lost in her world of books. I'm glad she has such a powerful intelligence, but I have the impression that she thinks we are all part of the scenery- like plants in the background that she forgets to water once in awhile.