Comforting NFs

[Lizzy1813]

When sadness occurs, how do you prefer to be comforted? Do you need solitude? Do you want to discuss the cause?

I prefer to be left alone in mild upsets, but in a big upset, friends and family help soooo much. An INFP friend of mine, when mildly upset, doesn't mind my quirky humor to bring her out of it, but in extremities needs to be alone, or be serious, about the issue.

[PinkPiranha]

Very very bad scary = flee to nearest "safe person" and cling to them until scary has stopped

Very very bad angry/upset = withdrawal to capacitate and kick things/sit in total silence

[sciski]

Show you care. I accept any form of caring - hugs, listening, talking, concerned looks, cups of tea, an offer to help, advice, etc. Anything as long as you don't act as if you just want to fix up my problem and send me on my way.

When I was super-depressed, it coincided with my friends organising and throwing a big surprise party for me. That swung my mood 180 and kept me buoyant for days.

I tend to *think* I need solitude, but that usually turns out worse for me, so people who actually come after me when I'm unhappy are much appreciated.

[PinkPiranha]

Originally Posted by sciski

Show you care. I accept any form of caring - hugs, listening, talking, concerned looks, cups of tea, an offer to help, advice, etc. Anything as long as you don't act as if you just want to fix up my problem and send me on my way.

When I was super-depressed, it coincided with my friends organising and throwing a big surprise party for me. That swung my mood 180 and kept me buoyant for days.

I tend to *think* I need solitude, but that usually turns out worse for me, so people who actually come after me when I'm unhappy are much appreciated.

How kind!

[Neo Genesis]

I tend to withdraw so that I can get a grip and deal with the problem. Typically, I get angry at myself for dumping my burdens on other people.

[animenagai]

i like someone to talk to as and all they need to be is sincere and supportive.

[kyuuei]

I suppose it depends. Like currently, I'm depressed from the waiting game to find out about a job or not.. a LOT is riding on this and I already lost some very important-to-me things throughout it. Even though I feel like I WANT to be alone.. I know it's best to be around friends to keep my spirits high and take my mind off of the situation until I get an answer.

I think the only time I NEED to be alone with an upset is when it comes down to family concerns. Relationships I always ask different points of view, and make my decisions based on my own feelings and any insight I received. Serious things I might be alone a day or two.. but then I need support anyways.. so I think my E causes me to never be alone when sad.. albeit I definitely enjoy my alone time when I'm happy.

[SillyGoose]

Okay, it may be just silly to some...but a HUG does wonders for me. If I am truly sad or depressed, a freaking hug is the best

Now just an everyday disappointment...just let me rant and I'll love ya forever.

[sanveane]

I like to be left well alone until I can process what I'm feeling, if I have someone else around I feel like I have to comfort them in some way. If I ever really hurt myself physcially I hate being touched, makes me quite angry, hehe I have funny stories about stuff like that.

EDIT: I make sure people close to me know all of this though, I don't want them to have to guess at how best to comfort me.

[kyuuei]

Originally Posted by SillyGoose

Okay, it may be just silly to some...but a HUG does wonders for me. If I am truly sad or depressed, a freaking hug is the best

Now just an everyday disappointment...just let me rant and I'll love ya forever.

Well, they were invented by sunshine.. so I'm convinced they work.

Also, I always felt nothing was so powerful that a nice hot bath couldn't help soothe it, just a little.