I don't know why I'm feeling sad,

[DigitalMethod]

"I don't know why I'm feeling sad. But I am. Please don't ask me what is wrong, if I knew, I would fix it."

Anyone relate?

[Ivy]

Yes. I don't feel that way today but I have before and likely will again.

[Mempy]

Yes, very much so. I feel that way a lot of the time.

[blanclait]

relatively common for me.
that sadness soon became my norm.

but how intense is it? i feel bit agitated, and bit depressed. But never at a point of wanting to hurt myself, etc. Depending on the severity and if it does have some major impact in your daily activities, you may want to check that out.

[DigitalMethod]

But doesn't it seem paradoxical?

It makes complete sense.
Yet how is it ever fixed when one never learns the problem.

I guess what I am asking is, how do you guys deal with it, what eventually has helped you solve it, what has eventually helped you feel better?

[Ivy]

If I have nothing concrete to anchor the mood to, then distraction is my weapon of choice most of the time. Just get out of the house and do something different, or something that has reliably changed my mood before. The few times I've found to have an unshakeable low mood or numbness that I couldn't be distracted from, I sought the assistance of a counselor which seemed to help, or maybe it just passed.

[FDG]

No, never happens. At worst, I'm bored.

[WobblyStilettos]

This is a concept that my therapist fails to grasp, so she hasn't come up with any ways to deal with it yet (and if I knew, I wouldn't be there)

I hope you feel better :)

[DigitalMethod]

Is it Fi?

[Jack Flak]

Sometimes I feel a negative emotion which remains constant until I realize the cause, then it recedes.

[sleeptowin]

It happends.

When it happends I just try to take that feeling as it is and walk through it, if you know what I mean. In my case, I know that there usually is a reason for me feeling that way, when I'm feeling that way. I try to find out what might be troubling me, and if I find the reason, well, the bad feeling just kinda recedes and becomes manageable. If I for some reason can't find a reason, for instance, because I'm too troubled to think clearly, I just ride it through. I guess that, at that point, I tell my self that there is no point in bothering one self too much with things that doesn't make any sense.

I don't know if I made any sense right now, but, well, there you have it, my way of dealing with it.

[DigitalMethod]

It happends.

When it happends I just try to take that feeling as it is and walk through it, if you know what I mean. In my case, I know that there usually is a reason for me feeling that way, when I'm feeling that way. I try to find out what might be troubling me, and if I find the reason, well, the bad feeling just kinda recedes and becomes manageable. If I for some reason can't find a reason, for instance, because I'm too troubled to think clearly, I just ride it through. I guess that, at that point, I tell my self that there is no point in bothering one self too much with things that doesn't make any sense.

I don't know if I made any sense right now, but, well, there you have it, my way of dealing with it.

No, it made complete sense to me.

I just don't want to go through this feeling because I just felt it two months ago.

And I also am having trouble rationalizing it without telling myself I'm over-reacting. But you can't tell yourself "You're over-reacting" when it's past a certain pain 'threshold' or pain 'level'. If that makes sense?

[sleeptowin]

No, it made complete sense to me.

I just don't want to go through this feeling because I just felt it two months ago.

And I also am having trouble rationalizing it without telling myself I'm over-reacting. But you can't tell yourself "You're over-reacting" when it's past a certain pain 'threshold' or pain 'level'. If that makes sense?

Yes, I think I know what you mean. When you're at that point, from my experience, the only thing you can really do is to ride it out, and try to avoid to think about it as much as you can.

But these are just words on the interwebs, in reality, it's not easy, it's not a problem that you can always fix, it's a/several pain(s) in the ass(es) emotion(s) that you run in to from time to time, and they're bound to return, from time to time, unfortunately.

Problems, in all of it's shapes, sometimes have that nasty character.

(My problem now is that I fear that I might have misunderstood what you wrote earlier :()

[DigitalMethod]

(My problem now is that I fear that I might have misunderstood what you wrote earlier :()

Don't worry what you said earlier directly related to me and was positive. And what you just said also.

Thanks.

[sleeptowin]

Don't worry what you said earlier directly related to me and was positive. And what you just said also.

Thanks.

no problem.

[Dwigie]

Did you see, hear or "sensed" anything that made you remember something unpleasant.
Or maybe it's just one those very crappy days. How long did it last the previous time?

[Anja]

Yet how is it ever fixed when one never learns the problem.




You don't always need to know what causes an emotional problem in order to fix it, if that helps.

As blanclait mentions, it can become a habit, this pining thing. Suppose you could call it existential grief.

"It is the blight man was born for
It is (self) that you mourn for."

Gerard Manly Hopkins. "To Margaret, Spring and Fall."

I am susceptible to this and take some effort to avoid in engaging it for any length of time.

[DigitalMethod]

Did you see, hear or "sensed" anything that made you remember something unpleasant.
Or maybe it's just one those very crappy days. How long did it last the previous time?

Well this would depend on one's definition of 'sensed'.

'Sense' to me is basically like saying "I think something happened" IE, sense is a combination of all the senses including intuition.

So according to my definition of sense, I did sense something that happened which triggered past feelings on a similar matter. Which were in turn amplified due to... the... more, meaningful depth that I currently have on this present matter. IE the present matter means more to me than the past one did at it's time of occurrence.

This time I was able to rationalize it faster due to past experiences and good advice, also a lucky enlightening moment. Even though it was only about two days this time, the depth of pain was more intense than last time (due to it's more meaningful depth). Last time it was more drawn out over a week's time.

[Anja]

It's possible to never know the cause but the symptoms can still be managed. Sounds like this is what you're doing.

Should it be persistent over time, it would be worth getting additional help from someone who could approach it from a clinical perspective.

[Bella]

I don't think you can escape it in this world. I'm learning more and more to not even bother asking why I'm feeling miserable, just get on with it, despite how you feel.

[Bougal]

These moods don’t happen to me. Rarely, I feel ambivalent, but this feeling can always be tied to a specific circumstance or occurrence.

I'm a member of a big INTX family, and it happens a lot with them. A good portion of the time, I am talking a family member out of one of these moods.

[01011010]

This happens to me sometimes. I can't recognize even heavy emotional issues right away. So, I walk around carrying those feelings until I pinpoint it's cause. Then I deal with it and it goes away.

[runvardh]

I find the source of a feeling can always be found. I suppose it's all in whether or not you deem the solution important, if it has a solution you have any control over enacting.

[katzchen]

I frequently get the feeling that I'm like a pot of soup on the stove that's only being stirred at the top, and the bottom is burning and ruining both the soup and the pot.

I guess that's a combination of boredom and feeling disconnected from other people. Sometimes it's in response to a certain event, usually it's just a feeling that builds up over time.

Usually I feel better after plenty of alone time to assess my situation, but that's the only way. Going to other people usually makes it worse unless they're willing to discuss the situation with me rationally.

[Insidious 3]

I rarely get this feeling. I think you should do more physical activity, becuase I know I always feel good after I've been excercising.

[ygolo]

Yeah. It happens a lot.

For me, it seems like it is just "stuck" that way no matter what techniques are used. No matter how I change my breathing, or what I meditate on, or try to distract myself with.

Though, there does seem to be a very narrow set of activities that help temporarily.

[Chris_in_Orbit]

I rarely get upset and not know why. I guess its because I am always checking with myself periodically: Am I ok? If not what is the problem? What can I do to make myself feel better?

I guess people who get upset and don't know why probably don't examine their emotional state often enough to keep up with the "why" but theres nothing wrong with that as long as it doesn't get to the point that you are neglecting yourself..

[Haploid]

I think some people feel bad because of a conditional process, like the dog of Pavlov that while hearing the bell was producing saliva, so what we have to do is to understand that all people feel bad sometimes even if they say they don’t, they are lying, imagine that! Due to the fact that the experience that you had and the pain that you felt became one thing in the first primary stadium. The second stadium is it comes back when ever you feel one of the 2 (emotional or physical), and then imagine that people are so complex that they even find relation between other stimuli (words situations ….) . There is more to it the this theory but this is something that everyone should know. Fighting the pain can become an obsession so try resolving by not doing it again and not thinking about it again because that doesn't help, you are most likely to get psychosomatick problems. As to me I feel like this only when I know I have to do something/accomplish something.

[OneWithSoul]

someone in need of a hug? :D

[Haploid]

someone in need of a hug? :D
:D

[iwakar]

"I don't know why I'm feeling sad. But I am. Please don't ask me what is wrong, if I knew, I would fix it."

Anyone relate?

I do and post-op, so does the Tin Man.
http://www.tinmanic.com/images/tinman1.jpg

All of humanity can relate.

[ngannacvy]

"I don't know why I'm feeling sad. But I am. Please don't ask me what is wrong, if I knew, I would fix it."

Anyone relate?

I sometimes feel like that but then I usually get to the root of my problems and solve it so that the feelings no longer comes back and "haunt" me, solving it is a very enlightening and spiritual experience for me and after words I feel Great. from your quote it sounds like you might be repressing something from the past, Sigmund Feud a well known psychologist explained how people tend to do that as a defense Mechanism, They would repress past memories because it could of been too painful for them at the time and not thinking about it helps them cope. I recommend that you try (if you want to) and do some introspection- which is looking in to yourself and describing what's there, or just taking time for yourself to think and ask yourself basic questions related to your feelings of sadness,(example of basic questions are:who, what, where, when, why, and how, and what if's, if you want to too.)

and since you don't know why you're feeling sad I recommend that you check out "Maslow Hierarchy of Human Needs"(example underneath)he worked in the field of psychology too. Maybe that will help you figure out and narrow down what might be making you sad.

And of course you as a rational would probably already know by now why it's important to first define what the problem is that's making you sad if you ever decide to solve it. I think your smart enough to come to that conclusion since you're a rational, and I use the "Rational decision-making methods"-A rational decision-making process is one that is logical and follows an orderly path from problem identification through to a solution.

MASLOW HIERARCHY OF HUMAN NEEDS
Physiological Needs
These are biological needs. They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction.

Safety Needs
When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.

Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.

Needs for Esteem
When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.

Needs for Self-Actualization
When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.

But then you might just be grieving.Grieving is an act of love. It begins when someone or something you love is lost, and the stronger the love the greater the grief. The act of grieving honors you and the significance of your loss.

The longer you live the more loss you experience. In order to grieve in healthy ways, you need to understand the stages of the grief process itself.

Shock

This is the body/mind's way of saving you from the devastating pain of the loss, at least initially. It is a blessing at best, but at worst can become a long-term numbness to feelings that resembles a sort of living death. It will pass naturally as long as the other components of the grief process are honored.

Denial

This is your mind's attempt to protect you from the reality of the loss. You may lie to yourself and think about the person as if they were still alive. A certain period of denial is normal but if prolonged, it can keep you stuck and prevent resolution. There are many forms of denial, as varied as people are different from each other.

Anger

When you lose someone you love, it is natural to be angry for a period of time. You may be angry with the person for leaving you, angry with yourself for what you did not do to save them or angry with God for taking them away. You may just be angry at the unfairness and injustice of life. Healthy anger management techniques may be essential here.

Guilt

There seems to be a human tendency to blame yourself when something happens to a loved one. In loving someone, you automatically take some degree of responsibility for her or his welfare. It is only natural to question yourself for a period of time after your loved ones die. This is a normal part of the grief process, but it is extremely important that you move through it and don't get stuck in this stage.

Pain And Sorrow

These feelings often exist throughout the entire grief process, and are the core feelings of grief. In the early stages, however, you are often distracted from your sorrow by denial, anger, guilt and the resulting confusion. Fear can also be a tremendous barrier to the experience of sorrow, triggering all of the defense mechanisms. To truly face and experience the pain and sorrow is necessary and healthy however, and it moves you forward in the grief process. Working with love is the key for moving through this phase, because only love has the power to move us to the depths of our being where the greatest loss is registered.

Release And Resolution

This stage of the grief process is accompanied by a sense of acceptance of the reality of the loss, a sense of "letting go." There may also be a degree of forgiveness that occurs in this phase. The denial, guilt and anger stages are over, and the pain and sorrow is not as intense as it was before. Many people ask, "How long does it take?" The answer is different according to the severity of the loss and the health of the individual who is grieving. Grieving moves in cycles, and it may seem as if we are through for a substantial period of time. A birthday, anniversary or another loss can bring back many of the same feelings that were there when our loved one died. Any loss or low emotional period can bring back the feelings of loss, particularly if you have not reached resolution. When the release finally occurs, your entire body will feel it. I have watched many people go through emotional release in their grieving, and I am convinced that it is as much a physical, non-verbal process as it is verbal and conscious.

Return To the Willingness To Love

This is the final stage of the grieving process. Healing has occurred, and the grieving person is able to laugh again and to get involved in life. Fear can slow you down or even stop you at this point, because new love means the risk of new loss. By honoring and completing all aspects of the grief process, however, you will overcome your fear and move forward. This occurs through an appreciation for yourself and the life you are left to live. Nurturing your inner child is an excellent tool to use to help you through the entire grief process, and particularly as you move back out "into the world" after a period of grieving. Part of the return to love also includes remembering the love you felt for the one you lost. The love lives on and the anger, guilt, pain and sorrow fade away.

This final stage of the grief process is ultimately a spiritual one. It is a fact that all of us on this planet will die. You need to have some way of living, laughing and loving with this reality. That's where spirituality comes in. True security cannot be found in another person or in any external circumstances. You have to turn within, to your own concept of the infinite, to ultimately find peace and security in a life that is only temporary in its tangible form.

well those are just some of my suggestion of what might possibly help, as an INFP I hope it does help, but I would understand if it doesn't since it may not even be relevant to your problems, or feelings of sadness.

Oh and these are just suggestions, You can't trust that these suggestions of mine will help you because I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm probably even younger and less experience than you. But somewhere deep down, I do hope this long message helps someone, or at least someone finds it interesting.

[Cality]

"I don't know why I'm feeling sad. But I am. Please don't ask me what is wrong, if I knew, I would fix it."

Anyone relate?


No, never. If Im sad, I know why. That's one of the reason that makes me wonder if Im really "F" (ENFP). i don't really pay attention to my emotions to that extent.

[OneWithSoul]

I feel like that a lot..sometimes, I'll go through phases where I feel like that atleast once a day.

[Jen]

rant moved to here (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-blogs/9211-sliding-doors.html).