How can I tell if an ENFP is into me?

[ed111]

I'm very attracted to an ENFP female, and I'm wondering firstly if she realises this and secondly if so, is she flirting with me? How perceptive are ENFPs at picking up signs of attraction from others, and typically how do you flirt?

[BerberElla]

If an ENFP is into you you can't mistake it, I don't know any type who hunts their prey aswell as the ENFP. What they want they get, I've never been as pursued as when an ENFP fancied me, nor as swept off my feet.

I think that's the same with most ENFP's.

I'm pretty oblivious to signs of attraction from men, but I wasn't allowed to be oblivious to the ENFP.

Ah what fun that was lol.

[mlittrell]

i pretty much never realize it when people are into me lol. but, like stated above, if an ENFP is into someone, watch out.

[PinkIceTD]

I think ENFP females are pretty aware if someone is into them. I am.

BUt yeah if she's into you, you will def know it.

[Angry Ayrab]

You would have to smack me in the face and say I am into you.

[EvanTheClown]

i pretty much never realize it when people are into me lol. but, like stated above, if an ENFP is into someone, watch out.

QFT

For being so great at reading people, I have a lot of trouble judging how into me somebody is. I can know that they like me a lot, but I can't decipher if its romance or not unless its blatantly obvious.

[AwesomeCakes]

If an ENFP is into you you can't mistake it, I don't know any type who hunts their prey aswell as the ENFP. What they want they get, I've never been as pursued as when an ENFP fancied me, nor as swept off my feet.

I think that's the same with most ENFP's.


Ain't it the truth :laugh:

When I am in pursuit I will let it be known. Charming words and kind gestures. Even more so than usual. I will go out of my way for the catch. I usually get what I am after ;)

Also, I am definitely aware when someone is interested in me 100%.

[SillyGoose]

Yeah, pretty much all of the above. No idea when someone is into me, in thaaaat :heart: way.

And "is she flirting with me?" that one is a toughie. I've been told that I flirt with everyone. I know that I do tend to withdraw when I like someone, that's my way of flirting I guess :)

[ed111]

She has told me she likes me but I'm not sure how to interpret that, I think it was meant more in a respectful way. I haven't been overt in flirting with her at all: I've just shown interest in her occasionally, tried to be funny (she laughs at my jokes). I have noticed that when I did imply she was quite clever she seemed to be really pleased (I was a little suprised at her response and how excited she became).

[Angry Ayrab]

Just do it, ask her for a cup of joe or a bagel. Worst case scenario is a flaky no.

[phoenix13]

If an ENFP is into you you can't mistake it, I don't know any type who hunts their prey aswell as the ENFP. What they want they get, I've never been as pursued as when an ENFP fancied me, nor as swept off my feet.

I think that's the same with most ENFP's.

I'm pretty oblivious to signs of attraction from men, but I wasn't allowed to be oblivious to the ENFP.

Ah what fun that was lol.
:huh: No friggin' way! ... some ENFPs *cough* have a hard time telling whether or not they like someone, let alone whether the beloved can tell... Furthermore, personally, when I try to flirt, I end up acting as I normally do (ie, silly, teasing) OR I act completely different, and get quiet and awkward. How could someone interpret that?! There's just no way! *whew*

Yeah, pretty much all of the above. No idea when someone is into me, in thaaaat :heart: way.

And "is she flirting with me?" that one is a toughie. I've been told that I flirt with everyone. I know that I do tend to withdraw when I like someone, that's my way of flirting I guess :)

ditto.

[SillyGoose]

LOL, phoenix.

I don't even know HOW to flirt.

[Rachelinpa]

if she's into you, you will def know it.

Agreed.

[SillyGoose]

Hehe, this is interesting..clash of the ENFP's :smile:

Curious, the ones who say their crush will know it....do they get the remarks from others that they look like they flirt with everyone?

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah be prepared for lots of excitement

[PinkIceTD]

Hehe, this is interesting..clash of the ENFP's :smile:

Curious, the ones who say their crush will know it....do they get the remarks from others that they look like they flirt with everyone?

NOt really, but my friends have thought that I was into someone when I really wasn't. I was just being nice.

[animenagai]

ok here's my pattern. i will start off with phoenix's mindset, asking 'who do i like better' 'do i really like her' etc. to infinitum. meanwhile, when i actually see the girl i'll just be my usual self, being friendly and all. the sad thing is that i can never tell if someone likes me. never. maybe i can see the signs but then i ask things like 'o but what if they're just being a good friend?'. the result of all this is i simply do nothing while i'm in this state of confusion.

if and when i finally convince/brainwash myself that i like the girl, i get OBSESSED by it. sad thing is by that time A) that chick has already lost interest in me B) my non-response has driven her away or C) the reason we see each other eg. class is no longer present. if C is not met and i still see her all the time, i tell her. the results usually are not good.

so my advice is, if you like the enfp and you don't know if they like you back, just tell her. make the courting obvious and lead the way. i like the INTJ - ENFP combination anyways, so go for it :D.

[Lizzy1813]

LOL...I'm highly aware of when I suspect someone of liking me, but when I have any strong feelings for someone else, I definately go into act-as-quiet-as-you-possibly-can-but-not-too-quiet-or-your-friends-will-catch-on mode. :peepwall:

[kyuuei]

Not to be mistaken, I have had the frequent problem of my kinder-than-normal-people's gestures being mistaken for romance, when I had not any of that in mind. The very few tiems I've persued a man it's never been mistaken as anything but.. even the oblivious ones will be told by friends "You're a blind (insert crazy word here) if you can't tell she's into you!!" and end up asking me. I *could* just say it outright... but whats the fun in that?

[Jeffster]

I dunno. In my case, I woke up one morning and she was sleeping on my floor.

[SillyGoose]

Maybe my P is just huge, but a lot of the times I don't even know that I like someone like thaaaat. Until they told me and then I think about it :)

Jeffster, if you had those bewbies I'd be seriously tempted to take a nap on them. As a very straight woman, they look very comfortable.

[animenagai]

Maybe my P is just huge

:rofl1:

i am so mature :shock:

[Angry Ayrab]

Shout out from the male enfp side... Everyone thinks I am a flirt, I ain't... I am just nice. God damn you people, since when was complementing someone on their looks flirting. Anyway, I also turn into a wierd silent nervous wreck if I am interested in someone.

Just like pheonix put it, how the hell is someone going to be able to interpret it. They can't.

I have one good thing for you though, your an INTJ, and for some reason, alot of us are into you guys... myself included. :)

[animenagai]

Shout out from the male enfp side... Everyone thinks I am a flirt, I ain't... I am just nice. God damn you people, since when was complementing someone on their looks flirting. Anyway, I also turn into a wierd silent nervous wreck if I am interested in someone.

Just like pheonix put it, how the hell is someone going to be able to interpret it. They can't.

I have one good thing for you though, your an INTJ, and for some reason, alot of us are into you guys... myself included. :)

man don't you just wish you can be yourself plus a bit more style when attracted to someone? that's where i am. the chicks who i am interested in (by the time i'm sure of it) don't get attracted to me. when i'm being a friend though, some chicks do. o the irony.

[Angry Ayrab]

man don't you just wish you can be yourself plus a bit more style when attracted to someone? that's where i am. the chicks who i am interested in (by the time i'm sure of it) don't get attracted to me. when i'm being a friend though, some chicks do. o the irony.

We need some shaken not stirred james bond lessons.

Only problem there is we would feel fake.

[animenagai]

We need some shaken not stirred james bond lessons.

Only problem there is we would feel fake.

:steam:

and people say that we're good flirts? good god.

[entropie]

I dunno. In my case, I woke up one morning and she was sleeping on my floor.

haha, you stole the answer, I just now had in mind :D

[Angry Ayrab]

haha, you stole the answer, I just now had in mind :D

For some reason, I believe that ENTP's would behave in a similar manner.

[niffer]

Hah, I can always tell if someone is into me almost immediately. It's all about body language and tone of voice.

When I like someone though, I'm always pretty subtle about it. I might occasionally do things that get them to consider that I might be into them,- let the thought pop into their heads when they least expect it.

[placebo]

It's funny when they think you don't know but it's so obvious.

[ed111]

Thanks for the responses. I suppose there's a very good chance she knows that I like her, and I think she's probably subtly flirting with me. I'll just keep being nice to her and see what happens :)

[Little Linguist]

Okay, granted, I'm not a 'normal' ENFP, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

When I am attracted to someone, I get really shy, actually. I get nervous. Usually. Inside I'm bursting but I'm afraid to let it show. Sometimes, as a result, I can seem almost callous although I am not usually like that.

Once I've gotten over the initial shyness, however, I tend to be back to my ENFP self. Especially when I feel really comfy with someone.

What was funny about meeting my husband was that I never felt this awkward shyness - at all. I attribute it to not 'looking' for someone at the time, and just being 'natural.' :cool:

Sheesh, reading this over, it doesn't make any sense at all. :blush: Ahhh, just ignore me.

[EvanTheClown]

new conclusion:

ENFPs over-analyze feelings of potential romance, possibly to the point of destroying the potential romance through not acting on a whim when the time was right.

[animenagai]

new conclusion:

ENFPs over-analyze feelings of potential romance, possibly to the point of destroying the potential romance through not acting on a whim when the time was right.

and this is a new conclusion how? :D

[EvanTheClown]

my new conclusion:

fixed

better now? :P

[Twixt]

some ENFPs *cough* have a hard time telling whether or not they like someone, let alone whether the beloved can tell... Furthermore, personally, when I try to flirt, I end up acting as I normally do (ie, silly, teasing) OR I act completely different, and get quiet and awkward. How could someone interpret that?! There's just no way! *whew*

Me too.

a lot of the times I don't even know that I like someone like thaaaat. Until they told me and then I think about it

Yes!! I practically never consider anyone romantically until they express an interest in me. Then i could get really into them. But then again, maybe not.


Its really weird because all ENFP descriptions have us tagged as "extremely perceptive and intuitive about people", because I frankly NEVER have any idea whether or not a person is romantically interested in me. You have to blare it with a trumpet before i realise, ie. state your interest explicitly so there's no other way i can (wrongly) analyse it.

Generally, I do a lot of research on people I'm 'into'. For one, I try to figure out their MBTI type. This occasionally comes up when we talk - if I show an interest in analysing your personality type, it could mean i'm romantically into you (or it could mean i'm trying to figure out if it'd be a good idea for me to be into you. i'll be trying to look out for potential pitfalls before committing anything.)

[ed111]

I saw the ENFP in question this morning with an ESFP friend and she was literally hiding from me. She put herself behind someone else and a pillar. Is she being really shy or is this avoidance?

[CaptainChick]

I saw the ENFP in question this morning with an ESFP friend and she was literally hiding from me. She put herself behind someone else and a pillar. Is she being really shy or is this avoidance?
She is being avoidant.

[CaptainChick]

When I see someone from afar whom I do not want to actually see, i.e. interact with, I literally hide, or book it in the opposite direction.

Sorry. :/

[CaptainChick]

And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.

Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course. ;)

[Angry Ayrab]

And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.

Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course. ;)

I think that is the best answer out there. If they react to you differently than everyone else, it usually means that you make them self conscience or your creeping the shit out of them.

[ed111]

She is being avoidant.

You would think that, but she was with friends at the time when she was hiding. Later on today she waited to speak to me on my own for a while and is giving me lots of eye contact.

Could this be an example of her behaving differently around me?

[CaptainChick]

You would think that, but she was with friends at the time when she was hiding. Later on today she waited to speak to me on my own for a while and is giving me lots of eye contact.

Could this be an example of her behaving differently around me?
Perhaps.

How old is she?

And, um, how sure are you that she in an ENFP?

[ed111]

Perhaps.

How old is she?

And, um, how sure are you that she in an ENFP?

She is only young (19 I think), and I know she's an ENFP because she's taken the test (and from other things that she's said like how she has difficulty concentrating on one subject, has a wide range of interests from computing to drama, makes friends easily etc).

[CaptainChick]

Ahh, then you might still have a solid chance, buddy!!!

[ed111]

Ahh, then you might still have a solid chance, buddy!!!

Thanks, but I'm not sure whether she's dating someone and I'm very cautious about approaching her directly. I'm happy to just flirt with her and calculate that it will get to the point where it will be so obvious to both of us that nature will take it's course.

[BlownAway]

I can never tell if someone is into me, they have to be extremely obvious (like I am..puppy dog :D). But, don't wait too long with an ENFP!!!! Pleeeeease...we want action ;). Just go for it!

[PinkIceTD]

And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.

Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course. ;)

best damn simile ever to describe it.:yes:

[PinkIceTD]

I can never tell if someone is into me, they have to be extremely obvious (like I am..puppy dog :D). But, don't wait too long with an ENFP!!!! Pleeeeease...we want action ;). Just go for it!

yeah...if you wait too long we get impatient and once its gone its gone.

[ConchShell]

"And to answer the OP, if an ENFP likes you, she will treat you differently.
Like duck, duck, goose. Where you are the goose, of course."

Brilliant answer and surely correct with regards to how I behave.

[ed111]

The situation has become hyptothetical now as I've discovered today that she has a boyfriend ... arrghh.

My only hope is that she doesn't stay in the relationship long after it's died else I could be waiting a long time: although to be fair they looked happy together... oh well...

[Angry Ayrab]

The situation has become hyptothetical now as I've discovered today that she has a boyfriend ... arrghh.

My only hope is that she doesn't stay in the relationship long after it's died else I could be waiting a long time: although to be fair they looked happy together... oh well...

Ouch, sorry to hear that bro.

Good luck with it, and don't forget rule #1 in the gentleman's guide to finding a good girl: Thou shalt do thine own research before pursuing.

Personally, I recommend you skip that and follow rule #1 of the players guide: Tap it any way you find it dog...

just kidding.

You know, asking her if a rag smells like chloroform to her is usually a sure fire pick up line.


I kid I kid. I am just trying to cheer you up. :hug:

[Maabus1999]

From my experience. Some are shy. Some are forward.

To my male friend, in the end it is going to be how much of a challenge you are to her world. In fact this applies to almost all women.

Ironically, this is very hard for guys to apply. I still make mistakes that can drive a girls interest down related to this. Best is to live and learn, and try...and yes as an INTJ I can relate how hard that can be with the calculating.

Actually I could go into this for some time, but I don't want to derail the thread. However the last time I tried opening up to an ENFP, even though she wanted to get through my wall (basically told it to me directly to drop the wall), her interest level apparently crashed...big time. I have been "consoled" when I do my head scratching later that she may have been immature or in a bad "manipulative" state by other older ENFP's but yeah, she basically proved to me that ENFP's can be just like every other women and some are not as "tolerant" or "different" then others when it comes to the whole "challenge" argument.

I would just approach it geniunely how you feel but keep her a distance (i.e. dont rush into it fast or you may burn through it too fast) by not seeing her all the time for awhile(maybe a date every 7-10 days, avoid her by being busy after that. Even if you have to reorganize your sock drawer!) . You will know quickly know if she is interested in you (because she will slowly be coming after you since you are staying a far) or not by pulling back. I know some will disagree with me here though;)

[ed111]

Ouch, sorry to hear that bro.

Good luck with it, and don't forget rule #1 in the gentleman's guide to finding a good girl: Thou shalt do thine own research before pursuing.

Personally, I recommend you skip that and follow rule #1 of the players guide: Tap it any way you find it dog...

just kidding.

You know, asking her if a rag smells like chloroform to her is usually a sure fire pick up line.


I kid I kid. I am just trying to cheer you up. :hug:


I will be tapping it any way I find it hehe . Now I've seen the guy I don't feel so bad: he's not a stud muffin and I'm sure he can't be as smart as me? Is that possible? [joke]. On a more modest note he's probably a lot more charming and charismatic than an INTJ fellow could ever dream of being.

I'm glad I found out she had a boyfriend before I made a move on her: that would have been a disaster.

By the way, I made a decision this morning based on the roll of a dice: e.g. should I make a move. I gave myself a number of options and rolled a 1: do nothing. I rolled again to make sure: 1 again. FATE!

[Neo Genesis]

From my experience. Some are shy. Some are forward.

To my male friend, in the end it is going to be how much of a challenge you are to her world. In fact this applies to almost all women.

Ironically, this is very hard for guys to apply. I still make mistakes that can drive a girls interest down related to this. Best is to live and learn, and try...and yes as an INTJ I can relate how hard that can be with the calculating.

Actually I could go into this for some time, but I don't want to derail the thread. However the last time I tried opening up to an ENFP, even though she wanted to get through my wall (basically told it to me directly to drop the wall), her interest level apparently crashed...big time. I have been "consoled" when I do my head scratching later that she may have been immature or in a bad "manipulative" state by other older ENFP's but yeah, she basically proved to me that ENFP's can be just like every other women and some are not as "tolerant" or "different" then others when it comes to the whole "challenge" argument.

I would just approach it geniunely how you feel but keep her a distance (i.e. dont rush into it fast or you may burn through it too fast) by not seeing her all the time for awhile(maybe a date every 7-10 days, avoid her by being busy after that. Even if you have to reorganize your sock drawer!) . You will know quickly know if she is interested in you (because she will slowly be coming after you since you are staying a far) or not by pulling back. I know some will disagree with me here though;)

Its funny, I've never actually bought into the "challenge" theory. It seems to me that women respond much more favorably to confidence and humor than to anything else. But, hey, whatever works right. ;)

On a more modest note he's probably a lot more charming and charismatic than an INTJ fellow could ever dream of being.

Why would you ever think that?! Haven't you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Prime example right there.

[Maabus1999]

Its funny, I've never actually bought into the "challenge" theory. It seems to me that women respond much more favorably to confidence and humor than to anything else. But, hey, whatever works right. ;)



Why would you ever think that?! Haven't you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Prime example right there.

There are three principles for a guy to maintain with a girl (plus keeping yourself in shape never hurts for the "first" impression):

confidence
self control
challenge

If I were to psychoanalyze myself: confidence post first meeting no problem, self control is no problem except in a few cases where something gets under my skin (and I become more INFJ like suddenly too), and third challenge, gotta keep practicing as I can preach and coach it very well with others, but the Se part makes it a failure at times. Booo at self traits!

[Edahn]

You should try try socializing. I hear it improves social skills.

/asshole

[ed111]

There are three principles for a guy to maintain with a girl (plus keeping yourself in shape never hurts for the "first" impression):

confidence
self control
challenge

If I were to psychoanalyze myself: confidence post first meeting no problem, self control is no problem except in a few cases where something gets under my skin (and I become more INFJ like suddenly too), and third challenge, gotta keep practicing as I can preach and coach it very well with others, but the Se part makes it a failure at times. Booo at self traits!

Confidence is not an issue with me. I know exactly who I am and what I'm capable of. I have to be careful to restrain my confidence, to ensure that I tone down my statements. There is a quote I very much like from a UK TV show called Holby city (a hospital drama) in which the head surgeon states, "there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance: a line I walk every day". I feel that way too.

I like to show emotion, but only occasionally in flashes. Other than that I do typically have a very stern expression on my face. I have been described in the past as looking like I want to kill someone, and was constantly told to 'cheer up' in my youth. The comedian Bill Hicks summed this up:

To Bill: "Hey buddy, you know it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile?"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Well, you know, it takes more energy to say that than it does to leave me alone. So why don't you go away, so I can really start fuckin' smiling?"

Challenge? As in challenge ideas and the status-quo? Question opinions, theories, beliefs. Again, this is something I have to restrain as it can tend to annoy people.

[Maabus1999]

Confidence is not an issue with me. I know exactly who I am and what I'm capable of. I have to be careful to restrain my confidence, to ensure that I tone down my statements. There is a quote I very much like from a UK TV show called Holby city (a hospital drama) in which the head surgeon states, "there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance: a line I walk every day". I feel that way too.

I like to show emotion, but only occasionally in flashes. Other than that I do typically have a very stern expression on my face. I have been described in the past as looking like I want to kill someone, and was constantly told to 'cheer up' in my youth. The comedian Bill Hicks summed this up:

To Bill: "Hey buddy, you know it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile?"
Bill: "Oh yeah? Well, you know, it takes more energy to say that than it does to leave me alone. So why don't you go away, so I can really start fuckin' smiling?"

Challenge? As in challenge ideas and the status-quo? Question opinions, theories, beliefs. Again, this is something I have to restrain as it can tend to annoy people.

Dont mistake INTJ arrogant confidence for the same confidence women look at...it will trap you.

For self control, do you have jealousy or aggressive over tone towards other guys if they hit on a girl you like?

Challenge...HA! We have a lot to discuss young ed111 san. Think of the "game" guys and girls play in relationship building, and past the immaturities of it, you'll see some hints on what challenge is.

[Viv]

I don't know about other female ENFPs, I didn't read the previous messages. When I like a guy, I tend to:

1. :run: Get coy. Smile a lot, blush, but shy away and walk the other direction.

2. Be in denial if a guy likes me. I play it off. Other times, I'm pretty aloof/really don't try to think much about it, because in my experiences, guys who really like a girl will flat out say it/do the chasing.

3. Not act like myself around him. I find that the more I like a guy, the more self-aware I tend to be, which isn't good. That's why I tend to be more comfy around guys I don't like and have no worries about being totally care-free/myself around them.

If I don't like a guy, I find that I'm extra friendly, extra playful, cheery and completely 'Me' around them. I feel more at ease, which isn't too good, because it sends an unintented vibes that get misinterpreted. If I like a guy, it's a different story. It's puzzling.:doh:

If there's suspicion she's into you, test the waters a bit. Do a little playful teasing. See how she reacts. If she's feeling it, then she'll at least smile. If she's not feeling it, she'll show slight dissonance by her unresponsiveness. That's how I work. G'Luck! ;D

[ed111]

Dont mistake INTJ arrogant confidence for the same confidence women look at...it will trap you.

For self control, do you have jealousy or aggressive over tone towards other guys if they hit on a girl you like?

Challenge...HA! We have a lot to discuss young ed111 san. Think of the "game" guys and girls play in relationship building, and past the immaturities of it, you'll see some hints on what challenge is.

I've learned just to be myself ... I know I'm a nice guy so I'm sure that will come out if people get to know me. I know that I annoy people with my arrogant demeanour. I find it strange that they don't realise how I see myself as being someone who realises his limitations, and is aware of his own insignificance in the world.

I don't feel aggression towards others. I'm quite philosophical, even defeatest when girls get hit on. It's something I've grown used to.