passionate : companiotte

[Lithium]

High Fidelity

Int. Bar
Rob


That other girl, or other women, whatever, I was thinking that they're just fantasies, you know, and they always seem really great because they're never any problems, and if there are they're cute problems like we bought each other the same Christmas present or she wants to go see a movie I've already seen, you know? And then I come home and you and I have real problems and you don't want to see the movie I wanna see, period. There's no lingerie...

Laura


--I have lingerie!

Rob


Yes you do. You have great lingerie but you also have cotton underwear that's been washed a thousand times and its hanging on the thing and ... and they have it too just I don't have to see it because it's not the fantasy ... do you understand? I'm tired of the fantasy because it doesn't really exist and there are never really any surprises and it never really...

Laura


-- Delivers?

Rob


Delivers. Right.


It does deliver. Down with the 'real' underwear lying around and more of the sexy random underwear, lost from the night before and when found - god knows who it belonged too! The fantasy is real and its better.

[MacGuffin]

It does deliver. Down with the 'real' underwear lying around and more of the sexy random underwear, lost from the night before and when found - god knows who it belonged too! The fantasy is real and its better.

No way.

[Little Linguist]

High Fidelity

Int. Bar
Rob


That other girl, or other women, whatever, I was thinking that they're just fantasies, you know, and they always seem really great because they're never any problems, and if there are they're cute problems like we bought each other the same Christmas present or she wants to go see a movie I've already seen, you know? And then I come home and you and I have real problems and you don't want to see the movie I wanna see, period. There's no lingerie...

Laura


--I have lingerie!

Rob


Yes you do. You have great lingerie but you also have cotton underwear that's been washed a thousand times and its hanging on the thing and ... and they have it too just I don't have to see it because it's not the fantasy ... do you understand? I'm tired of the fantasy because it doesn't really exist and there are never really any surprises and it never really...

Laura


-- Delivers?

Rob


Delivers. Right.


It does deliver. Down with the 'real' underwear lying around and more of the sexy random underwear, lost from the night before and when found - god knows who it belonged too! The fantasy is real and its better.

Ehhh? I'm glad I'm not your woman!!!!

I hope not all guys are like that....Ferk....!

(By the way, you probably have grimy socks that smell like crap, underwear from the 1990s, and that ol' tee shirt you just won't get rid of. Maybe your girl wouldn't like that, eh?) :shock:

[bluemonday]

Down with the 'real' underwear...

:rolli:

[Little Linguist]

:rolli:

Yeah....as if women are supposed to walk around like models 24/7. Pfft, most women are more attractive than men, hands down, weird underwear or no.

Go away troll!

[MacGuffin]

Yeah....as if women are supposed to walk around like models 24/7.

Does it help if I think that even when you're in sweatpants?

[bluemonday]

Yeah....as if women are supposed to walk around like models 24/7. Pfft, most women are more attractive than men, hands down, weird underwear or no.

Go away troll!

my comment was about the "down with underwear" intro.
;)

This is why you should never move in with anyone you are romantically involved with. Romance doesn't survive the assault of grey pants.

BTW - LOVE that movie.

[Grayscale]

Romance doesn't survive the assault of grey pants.

i thought that was what it was all about. :sad:

or was that the hokey-pokey again?

[bluemonday]

i thought that was what it was all about. :sad:

or was that the hokey-pokey again?

:rofl1:

[Grayscale]

:rofl1:

my lame levels tend to fluxuate throughout the week...


mon |||||||||||||||
tue ||||||
wed |||
thu ||
fri ||||||||||||
sat ||||||||
sun |




must be friday.

[Little Linguist]

my comment was about the "down with underwear" intro.
;)

This is why you should never move in with anyone you are romantically involved with. Romance doesn't survive the assault of grey pants.

BTW - LOVE that movie.

Ehhh perhaps I misunderstood something, but I was getting the impression that you guys think the only good girl is someone who looks like Cinderella all day and all night long. Of course, I'm a very feminine woman, so I like to dress up and look all pretty, but when I work out, I sure don't wear a 40 euro pair of underwear. Not when I just go to work for 12 hours. Besides, if you wear lingerie all the time, it loses its charm. ;)

[bluemonday]

Ehhh perhaps I misunderstood something, but I was getting the impression that you guys think the only good girl is someone who looks like Cinderella all day and all night long. Of course, I'm a very feminine woman, so I like to dress up and look all pretty, but when I work out, I sure don't wear a 40 euro pair of underwear. Not when I just go to work for 12 hours. Besides, if you wear lingerie all the time, it loses its charm. ;)

who you calling a guy?

best not to wear any.

[Little Linguist]

who you calling a guy?

best not to wear any.

Eh, sorry, hard to tell online.

Not to wear any lingerie? Ohhh nooo, the girly girl in me would not like a world without kitschy lingerie! :D

Oh, same with sexy lingerie and cute lingerie, too. Just to be clear.

[Grayscale]

Not to wear any lingerie?

yeah, why wait around?

:rofl1:





ohmygoditsoffthechartscaptain

[Little Linguist]

yeah, why wait around?

:rofl1:





ohmygoditsoffthechartscaptain

Okay, I must be stupid because I did not get that. :-/

[Grayscale]

something about lingering

iunno, im just being dumb. i think i will have to go home early :rolleyes:

[Little Linguist]

something about lingering

iunno, im just being dumb. i think i will have to go home early :rolleyes:

LOL Now I get it. No I was the dumb one, no worries!!!

(Isn't it awful when you have to explain it! DOH! :doh:)

[heart]

.

Washing real life guy panties ain't all it's cracked up to be either, but I get over it. :D

[bluemonday]

Washing real life guy panties ain't all it's cracked up to be either, but I get over it. :D

Real life guy panties - ewww!

[heart]

Real life guy panties - ewww!

There's your question "Could I wash this man's worse pair of underwear and still respect him in the morning?" if the answer is no, move on! :D

<---------- Me down at the creek washing underwear.

[bluemonday]

There's your question "Could I wash this man's worse pair of underwear and still respect him in the morning?" if the answer is no, move on! :D

<---------- Me down at the creek washing underwear.

That kinda narrows the field.....

LET HIM WASH HIS OWN PANTS - so i say!

[heart]

LET HIM WASH HIS OWN PANTS - so i say!

Well that's a fine ideal to strive for, but sooner or later there will come a day when it all comes down the wire, it's pretty hard to cohabitate with someone and not end up washing their underwear. It's just a cosmic law.

Just like sooner or later he's gonna be standing in the express lane with twenty-five people behind him, waiting for a price check on sanitary feminine products for you. :cheese:

[Grayscale]

Well that's a fine ideal to strive for, but sooner or later there will come a day when it all comes down the wire, it's pretty hard to cohabitate with someone and not end up washing their underwear. It's just a cosmic law.

there are ways... :wacko:

[bluemonday]

Well that's a fine ideal to strive for, but sooner or later there will come a day when it all comes down the wire, it's pretty hard to cohabitate with someone and not end up washing their underwear. It's just a cosmic law.
I refer you to my original post:

This is why you should never move in with anyone you are romantically involved with. Romance doesn't survive the assault of grey pants.

:D

[heart]

BM, romance is a pretty tenacious beast, it can take a lot of abuse. Don't let these faint of heart types scare you. Once you find your mindmate it all just won't matter.

[bluemonday]

BM, romance is a pretty tenacious beast, it can take a lot of abuse. Don't let these faint of heart types scare you. Once you find your mindmate it all just won't matter.

That's as maybe, but I'd sooner eat my shorts than wash his. ;)

[01011010]

Cotton underwear can be cute. See Victoria's Secret.

[Jack Flak]

Cotton underwear can be cute.
Very much so. What's this thread about? *ignores the rest*

[heart]

It's about men being turned off by old, frayed cotton panties.

[Jack Flak]

It's about men being turned off by old, frayed cotton panties.
Takes all kinds to fill the freeway!

[Lithium]

I'll tell you what it isn't:

It's not an anti-feminist rant. Or a personal attack on anyones underwear, wear what you want by all means and I'm sure it's loved in all it's glory...

I'm just in a place right now where I want the fantasy and that scene from high fidelity spoke to me, where the guy is using underwear as an example of what you don't get in a fantasy but is the reality. It can be great, underwear strew all over the place some of it so old you wonder if its a hand-me-down. It's just not what I want at the moment.

[heart]

Take her shopping then. End of problem.

[Lithium]

the underwear isn't the problem just the analogy.

[heart]

There's no way to take the real life out of real life though. If you feel taken for granted, the only thing you can change really is the way you react to it.

[Little Linguist]

*sigh* My God, the answer is simple. Real life can be magical or a drudgery, depending on your outlook on the whole thing. If you want real life to be magical, MAKE it magical. It's all a question of perspective, and the beautiful part is: You can change your perspective any time you wish because it is *your* choice.

Okay, the Matrix films were crazy and a farce, but there was one good thing to be learned from it. Truth is what you project reality to be. And you can change that truth whenever you wish. Okay, okay, that was portrayed in the film as fighting like a machine or flying through the air like superman. Kitsch. BUT the truth is that life is what you make of it.

So if you don't want real life to be dirty old underwear and stinky socks, great. Neither do I.

Oh, and an interesting film: Good Will Hunting. Take a look at it. See, some people perpetually see life in a negative way. 'Will' portrays this image, and it paralyzes him to the point where he cannot live his life in a way that makes him happy. He doesn't use his intelligence; he throws away the love of his life - all because he sees life as one big negative thing due to fear.

The character Sean helps Will see that life isn't perfect, but that's okay. He helps him to overcome his fear so that he can grasp onto life and let go of violence. Rather than being afraid of things stereotypically seen as 'bad' (such as farting, illness, or other human faults) he shows how seeing others' faults is a sign of closeness and intimacy.

I'm not saying life is like the movies, but movies can contain grains of truth if you look beyond the sometimes cheesy story lines. :)

In effect, what I'm saying is that of course life isn't peaches and cream. There are ups and downs. I'm married, so I can vouch for the fact that sometimes my husband disappoints me or drives me crazy with his little 'faults'. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade this relationship for any other in the world.

"You're not perfect...and let me save you the suspense: She's not perfect either. The question is: Are you perfect for each other?"

[sarah]

*sigh* My God, the answer is simple. Real life can be magical or a drudgery, depending on your outlook on the whole thing. If you want real life to be magical, MAKE it magical. It's all a question of perspective, and the beautiful part is: You can change your perspective any time you wish because it is *your* choice.

...So if you don't want real life to be dirty old underwear and stinky socks, great. Neither do I.

...In effect, what I'm saying is that of course life isn't peaches and cream. There are ups and downs. I'm married, so I can vouch for the fact that sometimes my husband disappoints me or drives me crazy with his little 'faults'. But at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade this relationship for any other in the world.

"You're not perfect...and let me save you the suspense: She's not perfect either. The question is: Are you perfect for each other?"


I couldn't agree more. Really, if you don't have a sense of humor about the frumpy, boring details of a relationship, then you might as well just be alone with your daydreams. I remember reading High Fidelity years ago and thinking the main character majorly lacked a sense of humor. Instead of spending all this time analyzing his ex-girlfriends in order to discover their "true faults" (so he could quit obsessing over them), he could have spent some time laughing at his own glaring and numerous faults, found an imperfect but loving woman to commit to a long-term relationship with, and enjoyed laughing at the sillier details of life together with her. Well, I think he'd have gotten more fun out of life if he had... and fun is good. ;)

Actually, if you think about it, exciting stuff only remains exciting if you don't always get to experience it. The surprise and/or novelty is a huge part of the thrill. I know the underwear motif is metaphoric for you, but to continue along those lines, if your woman normally wears boring, utilitarian cotton panties and then one night she wears something silky and lacy, the excitment of seeing her all decked out to please you is much greater than if she wore silk and lace every day and you got used to it. Since most men say they don't like high-maintenance women, I woud think the kind who don't obsess over their appearance all the time would actually have a lot of appeal.. (There's even something to be said for sexual silliness -- I'm all for laughter in the bedroom, regardless of what you wear. Calculated "sexiness" that takes itself too seriously doesn't hold a candle to actually having fun together.)

Um, and the same goes for men too -- if they want their woman to be exciting and sexy all the time, then they really have to step up to the plate and be exciting and sexy all the time too, or their woman will get bored with them and either fantasize all the time about other guys who seem more exciting on the surface, or actually leave their man for one of those guys (it's been known to happen). The sooner you accept good-naturedly the fact that no human being can always be exciting in a long-term relationship, the easier it is to be happy with commitment. Just my .02. :)

Sarah
ISFP

[Lithium]

Yes, I do except all of what you are saying Sarah and LL, and I appreciate it too. I'm not down about any of this, I know I can change my life when I want. My OP isn't serious, using High Fidelity as an example - it's a pop book for pop culture and why it's good is because you can laugh at Rob and his absurd contradictory nature, but more still many men of his generation and age have adopted the same attitude as him and Nick Hornby is laughing at this. The scene above is when he turns around and realizes he doesn't want the fantasy, that the reality is romantic even when it isn't always pretty it can be beautiful when you've found the right person. I understand that and I think ultimately we should all come to see that and live by it - it's healthy. Or all men would end up like Hugh Hefner, but without the women, or the money, or the notoriety/popularity. But... It's OK to want the fantasy and have the fantasy and say the other stuff is all well and good but not right now, because right now I want to indulge in the wondrous variety that the world has provided.

There's nothing wrong with that, and as an aside I don't understand why the media portrays that as being a bad thing. (alright I do get it, but I don't buy it).

[sarah]

Yes, I do except all of what you are saying Sarah and LL, and I appreciate it too. I'm not down about any of this, I know I can change my life when I want. My OP isn't serious, using High Fidelity as an example - it's a pop book for pop culture and why it's good is because you can laugh at Rob and his absurd contradictory nature, but more still many men of his generation and age have adopted the same attitude as him and Nick Hornby is laughing at this. The scene above is when he turns around and realizes he doesn't want the fantasy, that the reality is romantic even when it isn't always pretty it can be beautiful when you've found the right person. I understand that and I think ultimately we should all come to see that and live by it - it's healthy. Or all men would end up like Hugh Hefner, but without the women, or the money, or the notoriety/popularity. But... It's OK to want the fantasy and have the fantasy and say the other stuff is all well and good but not right now, because right now I want to indulge in the wondrous variety that the world has provided.

There's nothing wrong with that, and as an aside I don't understand why the media portrays that as being a bad thing. (alright I do get it, but I don't buy it).


You bring up a good point -- it's okay to chase after the fantasy, certainly, as long as you're also okay with living alone and not getting into committed relationships. It's not okay to demand that your committed spouse/lover have to live up to your fantasy in order to receive love and fidelity from you. If you know you'd rather have temporary relationships with women you see only when they're at their most presentable and on their best behavior, then go for it -- as long as you don't get upset when they eventually leave you because they want more emotionally from you than you care to give.

Do you really think the media is anti-fantasy, though? Seems to me they're the main pushers of the fantasy-driven lifestyle on all of us, whether we value it or not.

Sarah
ISFP

[Lithium]

You bring up a good point -- it's okay to chase after the fantasy, certainly, as long as you're also okay with living alone and not getting into committed relationships.

Sure.



It's not okay to demand that your committed spouse/lover have to live up to your fantasy in order to receive love and fidelity from you.

who said anything about demanding or committed spouse?

If you know you'd rather have temporary relationships with women you see only when they're at their most presentable and on their best behavior, then go for it -- as long as you don't get upset when they eventually leave you because they want more emotionally from you than you care to give.

Upset, I'll be fine but thanks for the concern.

Do you really think the media is anti-fantasy, though? Seems to me they're the main pushers of the fantasy-driven lifestyle on all of us, whether we value it or not.

Depends I was thinking about movies that promote a happy ever after scenario when the guy sees the 'error' of his ways and decides to settle down. But that's another thread.

[sarah]

Depends I was thinking about movies that promote a happy ever after scenario when the guy sees the 'error' of his ways and decides to settle down. But that's another thread.


But for every movie like that, there are dozens more where "Players" (the type of person you're talking about) have any number of sexual flings but never develop any sexually transmitted diseases, much less get pregnant, in which case that's a planned plot device. Attractive Player characters in books are never described as being anything less than lovely all the time, no matter what their circumstances. Player characters in movies are airbrushed, carefully lit, carefully made-up (and touched up repeatedly off-camera), given expensive, well-fitting clothing to wear (even if their character is supposed to be poor!) and they even sometimes have a wind machine blowing back their hair just so. When their characters walk down a street, heads turn not because the people turning them can't help themselves, but becasue the script demands that. They even have a sound track playing "cool" or "romantic" music whenever they appear, thus highlighting all their actions as being way more "cool" or "romantic" than they'd actually be thought as in real life. When they have sex, the music crescendos at just the right point, so that their experiences are viewed as being more exciting than they would be in normal life. They never even get head colds, let alone illnesses that would make them have to change their lifestyle, unless that's also a planned plot device meant to help them develop as characters. "Witty" characters in books never say anything lame. Their jokes never fall flat no matter who listens to them, except that maybe a character who's supposed to be "dull" doesn't get it, and in that way the author or script writer proves that the witty guy is far superior to the dull guy. "Charming" characters somehow manage to charm the pants off everyone, not just those who would likely appreciate their looks, their sense of humor, and their attitude. And ultimately, characters in books and movies can do whatever they want and then ride off into the sunset in a blaze of glory and we never know what became of them 20 years later.

Not to mention the unrealism of advertising, which also convinces Players that there are lots of cheerfully unattached men and women out there for hooking up with, who will want only what they want, whenever they want, and who will never be less than desirable to the Player at any time, and if they are, they will not make a fuss about being gotten rid of. In books and movies, the Player characters suffer no repercussions from lying to their sexual fling partners by convincing them that they want a relationship with them only to prove that false later, unless the author (again) has planned repercussions as a plot device to make them develop some honesty in their character.

So heck, if you wanna chase after the fansasy life, go ahead. Mind if I giggle at the silliness of it all? ;)

Seriously, do you really think actual living Players have it as good as the ones in the kind of books and movies you wish were more prevalant? From what's observable about real life Players, they make a lot of people angry with them (so constant fights --even lawsuits-- are a part of their lives), they contract and spread "social disesases", their lifestyle tends to be the opposite of that which maintains good health (which means they end up looking like they've lived a "hard life" even if all they've been doing is partying), and when they eventually they grow older and lose their looks, people tend to think of them as pathetic has-beens, and nobody's entertained any more by tales of their sexual exploits.

Sarah (yeah, I'm a realist, not a fantasizer)
ISFP

[ceecee]

Just like sooner or later he's gonna be standing in the express lane with twenty-five people behind him, waiting for a price check on sanitary feminine products for you. :cheese:

Or going to Sally's beauty supply without being asked and taking the bottle of shampoo and conditioner out of the shower on his own for reference because you have pneumonia but still need your anti-frizz products and can't really go get them yourself and I'm pretty sure he's never been IN a Sally's before this. Makes his boxers a little easier to wash.

[heart]

But... It's OK to want the fantasy and have the fantasy and say the other stuff is all well and good but not right now, because right now I want to indulge in the wondrous variety that the world has provided.

There's nothing wrong with that, and as an aside I don't understand why the media portrays that as being a bad thing. (alright I do get it, but I don't buy it).

Since when does the media truly present that as being a bad thing? Many times the media presents this as the good life. Knowing yourself and what you want is a good thing. For for it dude.

[heart]

Or going to Sally's beauty supply without being asked and taking the bottle of shampoo and conditioner out of the shower on his own for reference because you have pneumonia but still need your anti-frizz products and can't really go get them yourself and I'm pretty sure he's never been IN a Sally's before this. Makes his boxers a little easier to wash.

Yeah that what I'm talking about. :D

[sarah]

Or going to Sally's beauty supply without being asked and taking the bottle of shampoo and conditioner out of the shower on his own for reference because you have pneumonia but still need your anti-frizz products and can't really go get them yourself and I'm pretty sure he's never been IN a Sally's before this. Makes his boxers a little easier to wash.


Hahaha! Great example!

But I still think washing underwear and what-not doesn't have to be boring. You can always turn up the music and dance while you're loading the washer/dryer. And if it's a chilly day, there's a lot of pleasure to be had in dumping the hot stuff from the dryer onto a tabletop or a bed, diving on top of it, and wallowing in the bliss of the warmth.

And if hubby's tidy whities aren't looking so great anymore, you can always make a statement by ripping them to shreds and announcing their new status as dust rags, so that he has to go out and buy some new ones. :devil:

Sarah (who likes to make everything fun)
ISFP

[Lithium]

Yeah I don't see how you can be so critical of how someone chooses to lead their lifestyle.