ENFP's and Social Anxiety/Shyness...

[soleil]

Was wondering if other ENFP's experience this? The thing with me is if I'm comfortable around my environment then all that shyness and anxiety is out the window, but if the energy isn't flowing I become extremely introverted and uncomfortable. It's weird because I would say I'm 50/50 in the extroversion/introversion department. The ENFP description suits me 100%, but I tend to become anxious in certain social settings.

[EvanTheClown]

hrm, my E tested at 100%, so I can't relate at all. Good thread idea though.

[AwesomeCakes]

I can relate. My E is slightly higher than my I. If the vibes aren't good I tend to leave the situation.

[VanillaCat]

Yep. Same with me. I got 50% I and 50% E on the MBTI test, but it still said I was an extrovert.

I really think I have social anxiety and should probably get that checked out. But other times, I'm sooo opposite of that.

I can be really quiet and I REALLY daydream a lot when I'm like that. Other times, I'll be so loud and outgoing that it's ridiculous. I even talk to strangers on the street, which isn't always a good thing! :D But it's okay, haha.

But anyway, I get insanely nervous when I have to speak in a large group of people. I'd rather give a quart of blood or something, Lol! It's so noticeable.

Some people call me shy though. That's not true at all. I'm not shy, it's just that I don't know how to exactly react or say things at the moment so I get all jumbled and not respond too much. But after I get a strong reading of the person, wow, you won't be able to shut me up!

[SillyGoose]

I generally test in the 80% range for extroversion, but I still feel the same way sometimes.

If it is especially cold atmosphere to me (i.e. public speaking by ME) I can really feel anxious. Cold sweats and everything. I have read that ENFP's are the most introverted like extroverts and the personal growth pages stress that we need time alone to stay on our paths.

Probably didn't help any, but ya, I feel you :hug:

[phoenix13]

Was wondering if other ENFP's experience this? The thing with me is if I'm comfortable around my environment then all that shyness and anxiety is out the window, but if the energy isn't flowing I become extremely introverted and uncomfortable. It's weird because I would say I'm 50/50 in the extroversion/introversion department. The ENFP description suits me 100%, but I tend to become anxious in certain social settings.

I relate. I was even diagnosed with social anx in high school, and suspect I have some leftovers today. Basically, I become extremely self-conscious and get tense and awkward. On the other hand, during orchestra rehearsals or when chilling with interesting people (ie. energizing situations), all that does go out the window, like you said.

[mlittrell]

i relate 100%. ive said this on another thread (i forget how) but it is intuitive-in-a-sensor-environment-syndrome

[hermeticdancer]

Luvox (fluvoxamine) works wonders for SAD.
If you have a big problem, it can help. It will boost low Seritonin levels.
Works in myself, and my brother who has SAD, he takes 50mg luvox and 25 mg Zoloft a day, its like a party drug to him. Hes an INFP, and now hes very extroverted, and is in love with people for the first time.
That combo is the best meds for anxiety and NF's, I know because Ive tried them all!

[Jack Flak]

Note: I'm not ENFP!

Luvox, eh? Alcohol works too, but it's not exactly the best all day drug. Is it recommended for mild social anxiety? I am quite literally anxious around people I don't know.

[bluemonday]

Luvox (fluvoxamine) works wonders for SAD.
If you have a big problem, it can help. It will boost low Seritonin levels.
Works in myself, and my brother who has SAD, he takes 50mg luvox and 25 mg Zoloft a day, its like a party drug to him. Hes an INFP, and now hes very extroverted, and is in love with people for the first time.
That combo is the best meds for anxiety and NF's, I know because Ive tried them all!

Have you tried 5HTP? It's a vegetable source of tryptophan which is converted into serotonin in the body. It has fewer side affects than your averages SSRIs and is suitable for long term use.
Good for insomnia too.

[Jack Flak]

Have you tried 5HTP? It's a vegetable source of tryptophan which is converted into serotonin in the body. It has fewer side affects than your averages SSRIs and is suitable for long term use.
Good for insomnia too.
Wouldn't it make you drowsy whenever you took it?

[bluemonday]

Wouldn't it make you drowsy whenever you took it?
no. it's non drowsy.

[Jack Flak]

Cool. I'm sure I'll forget to buy any though. lol.

5HTP helps control appetite, insomnia, mood and fibromyalgia (http://www.5htp.com/)

^They're pushing it like snake oil. LOL I was just reminded of a day in high school, at the best friend's house, when I put masking tape around everything in the spice rack and renamed it all to such as Snake Oil! (including a drawing of a viper head with mouth agape). His dad HATED me!

[Modern Nomad]

Was wondering if other ENFP's experience this? The thing with me is if I'm comfortable around my environment then all that shyness and anxiety is out the window, but if the energy isn't flowing I become extremely introverted and uncomfortable. It's weird because I would say I'm 50/50 in the extroversion/introversion department. The ENFP description suits me 100%, but I tend to become anxious in certain social settings.

yeah. im totally like this.

i think i was like 51% E and 49% I.... something like that.

but you know at these "networking" type of events... where everyone is stuffy, fake, and just out trying to get theirs... i usually feel totally uncomfortable... but yeah, when im comfortable... i think i always have fun. hehe

[bluemonday]

Cool. I'm sure I'll forget to buy any though. lol.

5HTP helps control appetite, insomnia, mood and fibromyalgia (http://www.5htp.com/)

^They're pushing it like snake oil. LOL I was just reminded of a day in high school, at the best friend's house, when I put masking tape around everything in the spice rack and renamed it all to such as Snake Oil! (including a drawing of a viper head with mouth agape). His dad HATED me!

Sounds like snake oil, but serotonin isn't just a neurotransmitter - it's involved in all those other processes too.
Plus it's cheap and available without a prescription. I know lots of folk who swear by it.

[Jack Flak]

Sounds like snake oil, but serotonin isn't just a neurotransmitter - it's involved in all those other processes too.
Plus it's cheap and available without a prescription. I know lots of folk who swear by it.
I didn't say it was, just that the website seemed to be overselling it. I will look into it.

[soleil]

That is very true. It's so strange because I think around most people I get very uncomfortable because they give off a fake and superficial vibe that I would like to stay far away from. It literally brings my spirit down. My extroversion/introversion is slightly higher than yours (60% Extroversion, 40% Introversion). It depends on where my mind is at, at times I think I'm 60% Introverted, lol. Positive energy is so important to me. It brings out the real me. Does that make sense?


Also, I can't stand when I'm mellow and more to myself and people think something is wrong. :steam:. I don't like to play the "life of the party" role all the time. A co-worker told me "You have to be consistent, you can't be talkative one day and be quiet and to yourself the next...you confuse people!". WTH!


yeah. im totally like this.

i think i was like 51% E and 49% I.... something like that.

but you know at these "networking" type of events... where everyone is stuffy, fake, and just out trying to get theirs... i usually feel totally uncomfortable... but yeah, when im comfortable... i think i always have fun. hehe

[soleil]

i relate 100%. ive said this on another thread (i forget how) but it is intuitive-in-a-sensor-environment-syndrome


I totally have that syndrome!!

[Jack Flak]

Does that make sense?
Your choice to use tiny red text for the body of your post? No.

Or did you mean your post? I don't know, I didn't read it.

[Edahn]

sol, lots of people get shy, regardless of their type. I experience it and I'm not exactly ENFP.

[Rachelinpa]

i relate 100%. ive said this on another thread (i forget how) but it is intuitive-in-a-sensor-environment-syndrome

Me too!


Also, I can't stand when I'm mellow and more to myself and people think something is wrong. . I don't like to play the "life of the party" role all the time. A co-worker told me "You have to be consistent, you can't be talkative one day and be quiet and to yourself the next...you confuse people!".

Me too!

[soleil]

Me too. It's so strong. It's like my spirit doesn't take their spirit.


I can relate. My E is slightly higher than my I. If the vibes aren't good I tend to leave the situation.

[VanillaCat]

Also, I can't stand when I'm mellow and more to myself and people think something is wrong. :steam:. I don't like to play the "life of the party" role all the time. A co-worker told me "You have to be consistent, you can't be talkative one day and be quiet and to yourself the next...you confuse people!". WTH!

My mom says that to me all the time.

[Modern Nomad]

It literally brings my spirit down. My extroversion/introversion is slightly higher than yours (60% Extroversion, 40% Introversion). It depends on where my mind is at, at times I think I'm 60% Introverted, lol. Positive energy is so important to me. It brings out the real me. Does that make sense?


Yeah, of course that totally makes sense.

I think it helps having people around who really know you, so you can be yourself when you meet new people too....

But yeah, when people's spirits bring me down... if they do it the wrong way, in a really bad way, i start getting restless and want to beat them up. lolz

sometimes i start thinking they're cracked out and not human. but really, they're sober. its weird!

[LadyJaye]

A lot of people don't understand that ENFP energy comes in arching patterns, like ebb and flow. Anyone who has a steady line of energy, say an ENTJ or an ESTJ, would say something like that to you. I've had more than a few people ask me if I was sick, or angry with them because I had been socializing and then eventually went into a low ebb. I can't sustain the energy.

I love being social with others and meeting new people, but without fail, I'll feel anticipation for the upcoming event, and it'll make me feel keyed up or a bit anxious. Even if I'm going to meet friends I've known all of my life. I can't seem to suppress the anticipation of the meeting. And it makes me physically uncomfortable - I always feel a hundred times better once we've already gotten to our event and have had time to start talking.

[IEE623]

auxiliary Fi is the answer for all those just-cant-seem-to-be-explained's

[soleil]

I often get ticked off! I think I could snap a few necks!!! :smile: I question people a lot. Are they for real? I get palpatiations all over, lol. I sometimes have to go for a walk or run some cold water, hehe. I think people are too insensitive, but lawd if you say something wrong to them they are quick to scream, shout, taking off their jewelry! Wooo.


Yeah, of course that totally makes sense.

I think it helps having people around who really know you, so you can be yourself when you meet new people too....

But yeah, when people's spirits bring me down... if they do it the wrong way, in a really bad way, i start getting restless and want to beat them up. lolz

sometimes i start thinking they're cracked out and not human. but really, they're sober. its weird!

[kyuuei]

(and yes, I just ranted about this in my blog. >.o) I can have social anxiety. It isn't really due to my E or I side of myself, but through other influences in my life.. but I tend to end up with a 50/50 chance that I'll read one statement one way.. then entirely different the next. For example, you'll catch me doing this about half the time.:

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! :blush: right!

[soleil]

That is true for me too. If I have to meet up with people I've known for years, I get very overwhelmed. My mind wanders and I imagine how it'll be, visual the setting, etc. My brain starts overworking and I get anxious. I've cancelled meet-ups because of this.

On a side note...I was wondering if people put pressure on you to maintain a conversation? When I keep my answers brief, there is a long awkward silence. Then I have to keep it moving. Then they talk. I usually stay quiet on purpose just to see if they'll talk. Now, I just talk for them because I can't bear that moment of silence. At the end, they thank me for the great conversation and I think to myself "what conversation it was me doing all the talking and probing!!". I guess it has more to do with the fact I mostly know S's and people I don't have much in common with. I feel very disappointed. I want to engage in a conversation not do all the talking. I only met one ENFP who was a professor. He was amazing, very creative, and could talk about anything with anyone!


A lot of people don't understand that ENFP energy comes in arching patterns, like ebb and flow. Anyone who has a steady line of energy, say an ENTJ or an ESTJ, would say something like that to you. I've had more than a few people ask me if I was sick, or angry with them because I had been socializing and then eventually went into a low ebb. I can't sustain the energy.

I love being social with others and meeting new people, but without fail, I'll feel anticipation for the upcoming event, and it'll make me feel keyed up or a bit anxious. Even if I'm going to meet friends I've known all of my life. I can't seem to suppress the anticipation of the meeting. And it makes me physically uncomfortable - I always feel a hundred times better once we've already gotten to our event and have had time to start talking.

[soleil]

:D:D:D. That is so me! I have to be directly invited or else I feel like I'm not welcome. I don't know what it is, but I never tag along unless I am asked. You aren't alone on that one! :D


(and yes, I just ranted about this in my blog. >.o) I can have social anxiety. It isn't really due to my E or I side of myself, but through other influences in my life.. but I tend to end up with a 50/50 chance that I'll read one statement one way.. then entirely different the next. For example, you'll catch me doing this about half the time.:

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! :blush: right!

[Lizzy1813]

Me: <ring ing.>
Person: Hello?
Me: Hey! Where are ya'll at?!
Person: So-and-so's playing rock band!
(INSERT CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVEL HERE!)
Me on page 2: Rockin! I love that game, can I come?!
Person: Sure!

Me on page 3: (Hmm.. there was no invitation in that sentence! Maybe they don't want me to go?! Surely they would have said something..)
Person: Hello?
Me: (Well if I just say something that might be rude.. what if they didn't want me there? Are they trying to drop a hint? I'm terrible at guessing games!)
Person: Heeeelllloo?
Me: Oh! Yeah. Okay, that's cool.

Me on page 4: (Hmm. No invitation?) Oh! Well that's cool! Ya'll having fun?
Person: (usually) Yeah!
Me: (Still no invite!?) Well that rocks! That games pretty hard.
Person: I know it. Blahblahblah. You know you can just come over.
Me: Oh! :blush: right!

And for me:

Me on page 5: (Hmm. No invitation. Does that mean they are angry with me? Did I do something yesterday to get them all upset? I don't think
I did anything...though I think I might have been a little emphatic about relating my choking-on-a-grape story. Maybe that was a bit too gross for them. Maybe they think I'm too wierd now. They've decided to let me go--this game thing is just the beginning. *Inward moan as thoughts continue to spiral*)
Person: HELLOOOOO??
Me: Oh! Sorry, I was lost there for a second, what did you say?
Person: I said: you wanna come over?
Me: Oh! Yeah! Great!!!

[Modern Nomad]

I often get ticked off! I think I could snap a few necks!!! :smile: I question people a lot. Are they for real? I get palpatiations all over, lol. I sometimes have to go for a walk or run some cold water, hehe. I think people are too insensitive, but lawd if you say something wrong to them they are quick to scream, shout, taking off their jewelry! Wooo.

yeah, i usually like.... crack my knuckles pretty obviously and stare at them in the eyes if they are really rude or give off some arsehole vibe. i guess it helped that i was on the boxing team in college...

this happens to me a lot less after i moved back to la tho...

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah I'm around 68% Extroverted, but I def feel uncomfortable in certain social situations. I think I read somewhere that ENFPs are the most introverted of the extroverted types. I can see how that is true

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah me too, I must be invited. But sometimes even when I'm invited I dont go, even if I really want to...

[kyuuei]

And for me:

Me on page 5: (Hmm. No invitation. Does that mean they are angry with me? Did I do something yesterday to get them all upset? I don't think
I did anything...though I think I might have been a little emphatic about relating my choking-on-a-grape story. Maybe that was a bit too gross for them. Maybe they think I'm too wierd now. They've decided to let me go--this game thing is just the beginning. *Inward moan as thoughts continue to spiral*)
Person: HELLOOOOO??
Me: Oh! Sorry, I was lost there for a second, what did you say?
Person: I said: you wanna come over?
Me: Oh! Yeah! Great!!!

Omg! I don't know how I missed that one XD I've definitely had that conversation before.

[Twixt]

Haha i totally get this too. Sometimes i'm not even sure if I'm an ENFP, or more of an INFP? My E percentage is only a litttle higher than my I percentage.

I think i get that 'intuitive-in-a-sensor environment' thing. And I DEFINITELY get those worries about INVITATIONS (ahh the agony!)

Like, i always worry if im imposing on others, forcing my company on them when they didn't EXPLICITLY say they wanted me there. Or even if they DID, how can i be sure they really meant it? Maybe they just invited me to seem polite, or because it was the socially acceptable thing to do, or...? Okay i know im probably not making any sense at all.

I don't know, is this like mild paranoia or something? Is it just me or do other ENFPs get this feeling of extreme uncertainty and discomfort?

I think this has something to do with ENFPs being very affirming creatures... We need LOTS of concrete affirmation as well??

[Hexis]

My E has scored 100% the past three times ive tested and i do have the same problem you have. Its really weird, depending on my mood, whos there, what the conversation is about and where we're at. If all is just right, which happens way too often for my comfort, i get really secluded and isolate myself. But its not really being shy its like i just dont want to be noticed while i take in my oponion of said new people, conversation or uncomfortable enviroment. Its like im trying to get my bearings.

[niffer]

Haha I always test to almost 100% on Extraversion, so I can only relate to this a little bit. I only really have these feelings when I'm a noob at something and everyone else is pro...yeah these are more just incompetence-related.

[Twixt]

i get really secluded and isolate myself. But its not really being shy its like i just dont want to be noticed while i take in my oponion of said new people, conversation or uncomfortable enviroment. Its like im trying to get my bearings.

That's me, all right. Because im taking in so much info from my surroundings, the people and the conversations and the ideas and everything, its like i have to sift through them all and think through them all before i can actually say anything. so i guess that makes me seem introverted and quiet. i need to get a feel of the situation before i add to it.

[jurma]

This thread is great. I've always had a hard time deciding if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. The ENFP descriptions always suited me spot on (while the I ones did not), that's the main reason I sticked with it, but I've always had that sort of social anxiety in some settings (mostly in environments where I don't really know many people intimately) and have needed time by myself regularly, to recharge. That ebb and flow theory of ENFPs energy is so perfectly right. I feel that all the time, I can't sustain my tremendous, legendary enthusiasm for large periods.

[soleil]

This thread is great. I've always had a hard time deciding if I'm an extrovert or an introvert. The ENFP descriptions always suited me spot on (while the I ones did not), that's the main reason I sticked with it, but I've always had that sort of social anxiety in some settings (mostly in environments where I don't really know many people intimately) and have needed time by myself regularly, to recharge. That ebb and flow theory of ENFPs energy is so perfectly right. I feel that all the time, I can't sustain my tremendous, legendary enthusiasm for large periods.

I'm the same as you. I can have really bad social anxiety, really bad (moderate to severe). ENFP's are the most introverted extroverts so, that could be why. I definitely need a lot of space to myself. Why do people see ENFP's as these people that are super hyper & have to chat away 24/7? I really don't like how ENFP's are profiled by people sometimes.

[Synarch]

Wait, I thought ENTP's were the most introverted extraverts? :)

[VanillaCat]

Nope.

[EvanTheClown]

o.O I'm severely extraverted. I may have a day or two spree of sitting in my house doing nothing, but thats after weeks of constant socializing and being in the spotlight.

[erinavery]

i have my moments too...it has to do with the people in the room usually...sometimes i just get a vibe from them that tells we have nothing to talk about...or maybe it's just an odd mood?? usually i feel inappropriately comfortable with people and treat them as if i've known them for awhile....both are strange...whataya gonna do.