How to pick a proper mate

[ThatGirl]

Ok,

I just wanted to let the forum know that I recieved my grade for my last essay paper that I wrote. I got a 50/50.

Anyway, I now have to write a process paper and I have decided to write it as an instructional comedy on how to pick a proper mate.

You know bacground checks and genetic screening.

So i ask this question for the sake of knowledge. How do you screen potentials?

Would you date someone with a tail?

Would you date someone who eats dog?

[Uberfuhrer]

Would you date someone with a tail?

If the tail belonged to her, I don't see why not. Which brings me to your next question:

Would you date someone who eats dog?

I'd rather date the dog, thereby saving it from the evil ethnic restaurant.

[Bella]

I go check out his cave first.....

[Mitzy]

Would you date someone with a tail?

if the ''tail' was inbetween his legs


Would you date someone who eats dog?

yes

[ThatGirl]

I go check out his cave first.....

Like spying?

[ThatGirl]

if the ''tail' was inbetween his legs



yes



lol

[ThatGirl]

If the tail belonged to her, I don't see why not. Which brings me to your next question:



I'd rather date the dog.

you would date a girl with a tail?

how do you get past that

[Mitzy]

How do you screen potentials?



i ask when their birthday is
ask em what type they are
try to push their buttons as much as possible to see what happens..

if i get the response im looking for, great
if not, asta la vista

[BryNTP]

you would date a girl with a tail?

how do you get past that

Lift it up over your shoulder?

[Uberfuhrer]

you would date a girl with a tail?

how do you get past that

Well, if it keeps whacking my face, I could always get it chopped off.

[ThatGirl]

i ask when their birthday is
ask em what type they are
try to push their buttons as much as possible to see what happens..

if i get the response im looking for, great
if not, asta la vista

Im similar, but they usually crack before I have any fun.

[Mitzy]

Im similar, but they usually crack before I have any fun.

I KNOW! omg its so lame -__-
for me none of them seem to stand the test of time
and if they do..they become a bore and predictable and i lose interest..
im never satisfied D: :[

[ThatGirl]

we should hit the town together,

mothers lock up your sons, lol

[ThatGirl]

well I suppose you could always play with the tail if you're into that sort of thing.

Any other weird screening?

[entropie]

lol :D I am gonna say nothing :D

[Bella]

Like spying?

Uh huh, I also make sure they're hunched over properly, the straightened back doesn't impress me much.....and I love it when a man pulls me by the hair a certain way.

[ajblaise]

Uh huh, I also make sure they're hunched over properly, the straightened back doesn't impress me much.....and I love it when a man pulls me by the hair a certain way.

sweet i knew braking my spine when i'm 60 would pay off..

*pulls Bella's hair a certain way*

[Bella]

sweet i knew braking my spine when i'm 60 would pay off..

*pulls Bella's hair a certain way*

and, mister, I do love a well maintained club....

[ajblaise]

and, mister, I do love a well maintained club....

*kneels down*

For you, it will be cleaned and maintained twice a day..

[Thursday]

i ask when their birthday is
ask em what type they are
try to push their buttons as much as possible to see what happens..

if i get the response im looking for, great
if not, asta la vista

ditto
although....they mostly just spill the beans-the power of the INFJ

[YourLocalJesus]

I KNOW! omg its so lame -__-
for me none of them seem to stand the test of time
and if they do..they become a bore and predictable and i lose interest..
im never satisfied D: :[

That's probably a question of maturity. It'll be alright. :D

[ThatGirl]

ditto
although....they mostly just spill the beans-the power of the INFJ

It all started when I was a little girl..........




Hey! Stop that!:huh:

[Bella]

*kneels down*

For you, it will be cleaned and maintained twice a day..

LOL!

[Metamorphosis]

check FICO score
test laundry doing and cooking abilities
get married on a cruise ship over 12 miles out to sea just in case

[ByMySword]

check FICO score
test laundry doing and cooking abilities
get married on a cruise ship over 12 miles out to sea just in case

And make sure a witness verified that you were drunk. :yes:

[ThatGirl]

deffinatley including ficos

[ThatGirl]

Here is my thesis:


Your eyes meet from across the room. Love at first sight? Your heart is racing in anticipation for what could be, “The One”. Anyone who has invested in the dating pool, would agree that infatuation can only take you so far. As the screening process begins, you start to refine many of your expectations. Soon, what you thought was endearing, has become second only to fingernails on a chalkboard. Just staring across the table at your significant other’s eating habits in detail, is enough to have one wondering, where did they go wrong. Why? Every year millions of people are duped into relationships with the wrong partners due to false advertising, and statistical rates show, that single people in the United States suffer from a distinct ratio in favor of non successful relationships to those that last indefinitely. Luckily, there is help. With the proper screening of potential mates you can increase your chances of relationship success.

[Metamorphosis]

Sweet, I like your writing style.

[Edahn]

Here is my thesis:


Your eyes meet from across the room. Love at first sight? Your heart is racing in anticipation for what could be, “The One”. Anyone who has invested in the dating pool, would agree that infatuation can only take you so far. As the screening process begins, you start to refine many of your expectations. Soon, what you thought was endearing, has become second only to fingernails on a chalkboard. Just staring across the table at your significant other’s eating habits in detail, is enough to have one wondering, where did they go wrong. Why? Every year millions of people are duped into relationships with the wrong partners due to false advertising, and statistical rates show, that single people in the United States suffer from a distinct ratio in favor of non successful relationships to those that last indefinitely. Luckily, there is help. With the proper screening of potential mates you can increase your chances of relationship success.

I think that's what courtship is.

[ThatGirl]

begining of paragraph of opposition:

Some people may tell you that screening your mates is a distinct violation of privacy, or borderline stalker.

[Terian]

i ask when their birthday is
ask em what type they are
try to push their buttons as much as possible to see what happens..

if i get the response im looking for, great
if not, asta la vistaHoly crap. That method is perfect. :o

[Bella]

Here is my thesis:


Your eyes meet from across the room. Love at first sight? Your heart is racing in anticipation for what could be, “The One”. Anyone who has invested in the dating pool, would agree that infatuation can only take you so far. As the screening process begins, you start to refine many of your expectations. Soon, what you thought was endearing, has become second only to fingernails on a chalkboard. Just staring across the table at your significant other’s eating habits in detail, is enough to have one wondering, where did they go wrong. Why? Every year millions of people are duped into relationships with the wrong partners due to false advertising, and statistical rates show, that single people in the United States suffer from a distinct ratio in favor of non successful relationships to those that last indefinitely. Luckily, there is help. With the proper screening of potential mates you can increase your chances of relationship success.

This is why one really shouldn't try to impress. If you're miserable/lazy/crazy just be it. At least, that way, you can make an informed decision.

[Lucifer]

I have very distinct problems.

Either the girl falls in love with me in a week.

Or she just can't handle me.

I've been called too "manly" several times including twice when it was use in a break up. I pay too much sports or act like a guy too much, etc.

So this has me looking for very feminine girls because they love how my mannerisms. And thats the problem, they fall in love with me and follow me to the point of stalking inside a week.

Honestly I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm a gentlemen, and never treat a lady wrong. I get angry about once every 2-3 years and don't have any difficulty pleasing a woman. I can tell when a girl wants space or wants a nice hug.

Any input or questions ?

[Edahn]

begining of paragraph of opposition:

Some people may tell you that screening your mates is a distinct violation of privacy, or borderline stalker.

This is where your ENTPenis will betray you. You get stuck in your ideas and when you innovate, you forget that what you've said goes on in nature all the time. Screening mates is nothing new, at all. Not only do humans do it all the time (dating, courtship displays, status displays, various layers of commitment, etc) but all the other animals do it too. They're just a little covert about it. Nowadays though, with things like "speed dating," the courtship process has been expedited and turned into an interview, or a screening.

The thing is, the more the dating process becomes streamlined, the less exciting it gets and the more artificial the disclosures will get, and by extension, I think, the dynamic will become more artificial and less playful. I wouldn't say it's a violation or privacy, though, because getting to know someone (itimacyc) is predicated upon compromising that privacy.

[YourLocalJesus]

Lucifer... Have you ever seen "What women want" with Mel Gibson?
I think the person that wrote that movie is into MBTI or something, because Gibson plays a definitive ENTJ who have this exact problem with women. In the movie it's called "being a man's man", the leader of the pack. Very high self-confidence, can deal with stuff, but acts very, very much like a guy. Total lack of feminine side. I'm like that, too. Luckily there are chicks that can live with it, because changing that part will only do harm. But that's just my experience... I get really bloody frustrated if I try to "get in touch with my feminine side". I don't really have much of a feminine side, there's the problem.

[Bella]

This is classic......Jesus is telling Lucifer to go watch "What woman want."
LOL!

[Bella]

I'm not making fun of what you're saying! 'k?

[Lucifer]

Lucifer... Have you ever seen "What women want" with Mel Gibson?
I think the person that wrote that movie is into MBTI or something, because Gibson plays a definitive ENTJ who have this exact problem with women. In the movie it's called "being a man's man", the leader of the pack. Very high self-confidence, can deal with stuff, but acts very, very much like a guy. Total lack of feminine side. I'm like that, too. Luckily there are chicks that can live with it, because changing that part will only do harm. But that's just my experience... I get really bloody frustrated if I try to "get in touch with my feminine side". I don't really have much of a feminine side, there's the problem.

I have the same problem with my feminine side, my masculine side just laughs at it. I have no need for it and as far as an emotional well, it contains about as much water as hell does.

I have seen it, but ages ago. So all I have to do is electrocute myself while wearing feminine products ? Well at least theres an answer.

Also how come everytime someone else other then you and dissonance respond to one of my questions, it has some sexist bite to it.

[Bella]

er...no....really.:huh:

[YourLocalJesus]

:rofl1: I'd like to see you in pantyhoes and lingerie getting electrecuted by your hair dryer :D I'd literally shit myself with joy ^^

[Lucifer]

This is classic......Jesus is telling Lucifer to go watch "What woman want."
LOL!

That..., would be a sweet pair.



"Ok Lu, go over there and tell that girl what I wrote on this card"

"No way man your lines are totally lame"

"Just do it Lu, we got no time for this"

"Fine Jess, but it better work"

[Lucifer walks over to extremely attractive girl]

"Did it hurt?"

[I]"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven"

[Jesus laughs hysterically]

"Dude I hate you"

[Bella]

LOL!

[Lucifer]

And it would go exactly like that.

[YourLocalJesus]

WTF :D

And my lines do not suck! :shock:

It'd be more like...

"Hello, would you perhaps like a drink, miss?" (in that weird Jack Sparrow "gentleman" rogue style"). It's got a lot to do with facial expression and stuff. I have tried different approaches, but I got an idea one time. Girls tend to love Jack Sparrows mannerisms... Why not adopt? It sounds weirder than it is. Especially if you're a little drunk at a shady place ^^

[ThatGirl]

That..., would be a sweet pair.



"Ok Lu, go over there and tell that girl what I wrote on this card"

"No way man your lines are totally lame"

"Just do it Lu, we got no time for this"

"Fine Jess, but it better work"

[Lucifer walks over to extremely attractive girl]

"Did it hurt?"

[I]"Did what hurt?"

"When you fell from heaven"

[Jesus laughs hysterically]

"Dude I hate you"

hilarious

This is where your ENTPenis will betray you. You get stuck in your ideas and when you innovate, you forget that what you've said goes on in nature all the time. Screening mates is nothing new, at all. Not only do humans do it all the time (dating, courtship displays, status displays, various layers of commitment, etc) but all the other animals do it too. They're just a little covert about it. Nowadays though, with things like "speed dating," the courtship process has been expedited and turned into an interview, or a screening.

The thing is, the more the dating process becomes streamlined, the less exciting it gets and the more artificial the disclosures will get, and by extension, I think, the dynamic will become more artificial and less playful. I wouldn't say it's a violation or privacy, though, because getting to know someone (itimacyc) is predicated upon compromising that privacy.


Well, the thesis is supposed to be debatable, and I think I have accomplished that.

The paper is not necessarily saying that these screenings don't happen, proper is the opperative word there.

I intend to make my sub topics a little over the top in rationality with a spin that says, its crazy, but it makes sense.

opposition:

Some people may tell you that screening your mates is a distinct violation of privacy or borderline stalker. Many claim that relationships should be built on trust and open communication. When beginning to date, there is a level of mutual respect that should not be crossed. What most people don’t realize, is that by the time the formality of dating is ending, you are already crossed over into the levels of trust. If one does not seize the opportunity for clarification from early on, circumstances may exceed the amount of emotional sacrifice that one may be willing to make. Knowing who you are getting involved with before emotional investments are considered can minimize the patterns of repeated failures. Companies do not just pick people off the street and entrust them in their institutions, and neither should you.

This is where your ENTPenis will betray you. You get stuck in your ideas and when you innovate, you forget that what you've said goes on in nature all the time. Screening mates is nothing new, at all. Not only do humans do it all the time (dating, courtship displays, status displays, various layers of commitment, etc) but all the other animals do it too. They're just a little covert about it. Nowadays though, with things like "speed dating," the courtship process has been expedited and turned into an interview, or a screening.

The thing is, the more the dating process becomes streamlined, the less exciting it gets and the more artificial the disclosures will get, and by extension, I think, the dynamic will become more artificial and less playful. I wouldn't say it's a violation or privacy, though, because getting to know someone (itimacyc) is predicated upon compromising that privacy.

Now, to elaborate on what I was trying to say last night. What is wrong with expidited screening for compatibility? Back in the day of arranged marriges and such people were put together now because they liked each other but because the relationship was prosperous and made sense. Why? Because people had to make it work. There was no divorce or whatever so if you had the rational base to build the relationship off of all the other things would fall into place. Now we focus more on the feeling aspect of finding a mate and compromise core values to do so. This feeling will enevitably fade if the bases for a steady relationship is not intact. Inevitably the expectations of relationships have lead to their demise. By focusing on the pratical side of the relationship before emotional invesments are considered, you weed through a majority of the bait and switch

[INTJMom]

Here is my thesis:

Your eyes meet from across the room. Love at first sight? Your heart is racing in anticipation for what could be, “The One”. Anyone who has invested in the dating pool, would agree that infatuation can only take you so far. As the screening process begins, you start to refine many of your expectations. Soon, what you thought was endearing, has become second only to fingernails on a chalkboard. Just staring across the table at your significant other’s eating habits in detail, is enough to have one wondering, where did they go wrong. Why? Every year millions of people are duped into relationships with the wrong partners due to false advertising, and statistical rates show, that single people in the United States suffer from a distinct ratio in favor of non successful relationships to those that last indefinitely. Luckily, there is help. With the proper screening of potential mates you can increase your chances of relationship success.

...

opposition:

Some people may tell you that screening your mates is a distinct violation of privacy or borderline stalker. Many claim that relationships should be built on trust and open communication. When beginning to date, there is a level of mutual respect that should not be crossed. What most people don’t realize, is that by the time the formality of dating is ending, you are already crossed over into the levels of trust. If one does not seize the opportunity for clarification from early on, circumstances may exceed the amount of emotional sacrifice that one may be willing to make. Knowing who you are getting involved with before emotional investments are considered can minimize the patterns of repeated failures. Companies do not just pick people off the street and entrust them in their institutions, and neither should you.
Excellent so far! Love it! :smile:

Here's an idea for you:
My husband frequently jokes that he thinks everyone should hand each other a resume when they date.
Presumably this would prevent little surprises later on in the relationship. :smoke:
Just to let you know I was completely upfront with him in the first week,
so I don't know what he's complaining about. :rolli:
You could talk about what kind of information to put in the resume.
It could be very funny, and yet truthful too,
which of course is what all great humor is based on.

[INTJMom]

Now, to elaborate on what I was trying to say last night. What is wrong with expedited screening for compatibility?
...
Absolutely nothing.
Isn't that what that new speed-dating fad is all about?!
(It was in the movie Hitch.)

Right before I met my husband I had vowed to expedite my dating process.
The reason for this was that I would meet a guy, and I was so desperate to be in a relationship,
I would immediately start lowering my standards and sacrificing what I really wanted,
all for the sake of being in a relationship with someone who I would not have wanted to be with
if I had known all that stuff right up front.
So this is what I did. I made a list.
And I decided "three strikes and you're out."
(All in the name of expediting the process, I assure you.)
Stuff I refused to tolerate anymore included drinking alcohol and tardiness.
There was other stuff, but I can't remember.

I gave my husband a ration because he showed up 2 minutes late for one of our first dates. :smile:
After I found out he had to hitchhike 20 miles to get there, I cut him a break.:blush:

[Mitzy]

i hate when people dont know how to screen?! for example my sister, she takes interest in a guy and then sees him how she wants to see him and doesnt see the reality of how he is. i think a lot of people do the same.
or is that just part of the process? when you become "infatuated"?

It'd be more like...

"Hello, would you perhaps like a drink, miss?" (in that weird Jack Sparrow "gentleman" rogue style"). It's got a lot to do with facial expression and stuff. I have tried different approaches, but I got an idea one time. Girls tend to love Jack Sparrows mannerisms... Why not adopt? It sounds weirder than it is. Especially if you're a little drunk at a shady place ^^

hahaha id never turn down a drink, regardlessss. id say yes and take my drink and leave :newwink: hehe
with a smile and 'bye thank you it was nice meeting you.' mahaha

[Lucifer]

WTF :D

And my lines do not suck! :shock:

It'd be more like...

"Hello, would you perhaps like a drink, miss?" (in that weird Jack Sparrow "gentleman" rogue style"). It's got a lot to do with facial expression and stuff. I have tried different approaches, but I got an idea one time. Girls tend to love Jack Sparrows mannerisms... Why not adopt? It sounds weirder than it is. Especially if you're a little drunk at a shady place ^^

I know the Jack Sparrow thing would work, I have done a similar thing.

But some drunkness is definitly a reqirement, as it is hard to duplicate his mannerisms without looking like a mentally challenged person when you are sober.

Also entropie sent me a friend request, who is he ?

[ThatGirl]

Excellent so far! Love it! :smile:

Here's an idea for you:
My husband frequently jokes that he thinks everyone should hand each other a resume when they date.
Presumably this would prevent little surprises later on in the relationship. :smoke:
Just to let you know I was completely upfront with him in the first week,
so I don't know what he's complaining about. :rolli:
You could talk about what kind of information to put in the resume.
It could be very funny, and yet truthful too,
which of course is what all great humor is based on.



Step three


Look at all these resumes! If you have successfully followed the instructions before, you will notice that you are now knee deep in potential applicants. Now comes the screening process. To begin, divide your resumes into three piles. The “considerable” pile should contain mates that are high in compatibility, followed by “moderate, and “over my dead body”. Start with the potentials you have placed in your considerable pile, and run them through a series of international background checks, credit reports, and medical history. The last thing you would want to discover, is that The One, is married in four other states under assumed alias. Credit reports ensure that you don’t get thrown under a million dollars of unsecured debt in the name of love; and medical screening can help to determine the longevity of your investment as well as the probability for reproductive success later on. Using this method should narrow down your applicants to a handful of lucky contenders, and you are ready to move forward. On the rare occasion that you are left with no applicants at all, do not panic. There are plenty of fish in your “moderate” pile. In the unlikely event that you find yourself staring at the “over my dead body” pile in honest consideration, return to step one and reevaluate your target demographic. Once you have at least a few contenders to consider, you are ready to formally meet your marriage material.




:smile: I still need to refine it but the jist is there. Excellent suggestion.

[Lucifer]

Could easily fix to a:

yes pile

and

fireplace

[YourLocalJesus]

I know the Jack Sparrow thing would work, I have done a similar thing.

But some drunkness is definitly a reqirement, as it is hard to duplicate his mannerisms without looking like a mentally challenged person when you are sober.

Also entropie sent me a friend request, who is he ?

Lol, yes ^^ Do you believe that Jack Sparrow might be some kind of deranged ENTJ? :D

Oh, entropie is that guy you and I were talking to in the Jediism thread. You know, about KOTOR. Really nice guy. Got a lot to say.

[Lucifer]

I would say he is for sure an ENTJ, as he always seems to have a plan, or is making one up when the need arises.

Such as the part in the first movie, when he steals the ship.

"that has to be the best pirate I've ever seen"

[YourLocalJesus]

He does whatever pleases him, with a hint of planning to it ^^ And the style! This is my only close-to-gay side. I fucking love that guy, not in that way tho :D

[INTJMom]

Step three


Look at all these resumes! If you have successfully followed the instructions before, you will notice that you are now knee deep in potential applicants. Now comes the screening process. To begin, divide your resumes into three piles. The “considerable” pile should contain mates that are high in compatibility, followed by “moderate, and “over my dead body”. Start with the potentials you have placed in your considerable pile, and run them through a series of international background checks, credit reports, and medical history. The last thing you would want to discover, is that The One, is married in four other states under assumed alias. Credit reports ensure that you don’t get thrown under a million dollars of unsecured debt in the name of love; and medical screening can help to determine the longevity of your investment as well as the probability for reproductive success later on. Using this method should narrow down your applicants to a handful of lucky contenders, and you are ready to move forward. On the rare occasion that you are left with no applicants at all, do not panic. There are plenty of fish in your “moderate” pile. In the unlikely event that you find yourself staring at the “over my dead body” pile in honest consideration, return to step one and reevaluate your target demographic. Once you have at least a few contenders to consider, you are ready to formally meet your marriage material.




:smile: I still need to refine it but the jist is there. Excellent suggestion.
:smile: Love it! Very funny, but also very true.

[ThatGirl]

He does whatever pleases him, with a hint of planning to it ^^ And the style! This is my only close-to-gay side. I fucking love that guy, not in that way tho :D

I would love to be a fly on the wall as you guys try the jack sparrow strategy out.


priceless


You guys almost had me convinced I should be looking for a local ENTJ, until this moment.

[GargoylesLegacy]

I KNOW! omg its so lame -__-
for me none of them seem to stand the test of time and if they do..they become a bore and predictable and i lose interest.. im never satisfied D: :[
Heh, that sums it up quite well for me. No wait, I guess I have to explain that, not that you all get a wrong Idea about me ^^°

Okay so...first of all...I WOULD date a Girl / Guy whatever with a Tail. And a Person who eats Dogs...well...rather not. There are a FEW Things that I just don't like so...yeah. Even if...yeah, date maybe, but...I guess I couldn't go straight with them. :D

Anyways...about the satisfied-Thing.
If Someone pretends to be "uncrackable" and I can crack him in a very short Time, I get bored. Just simply because it was a "Lie". So better if Someone presents himself less better than he really is, I'd say. Always better. *lol*

And how to pick...well, you talk and then I kinda get the Feeling if this Person could be interesting or not. I also try to check out the Boundaries of the Person by doing some "Tests", just to see how far I can go. It just helps my Decision. For Example I don't like a Person who will like whatever I do. I mean those Persons who would change their Opinion constantly to be EXACTLY like you. I like Persons who think by themselves too better. So yeah, I talk and to my "Tests" and find out, how the other Person works. If I like it, I keep him / her, if not, well, we can still be Buddies or so. :devil:

[nightning]

Here's an idea for you:
My husband frequently jokes that he thinks everyone should hand each other a resume when they date.
Presumably this would prevent little surprises later on in the relationship. :smoke:


An excellent idea mom! Follow that up with a credit check and a health report. ;)

[runvardh]

An excellent idea mom! Follow that up with a credit check and a health report (including STD test). ;)

Fixed for the lovers of detail. :D

[Addict_Inquiry]

I start with cold, hard, animal attraction. Then I break the ice and develop rapport. With any luck she's single and we have enough in common to go further.

[Sytpg]

An excellent idea mom! Follow that up with a credit check and a health report. ;)

Aren't relationships about dealing with both money and health problems?

[runvardh]

Aren't relationships about dealing with both money and health problems?

Some people aren't worth bailing out of debt or listening to them whine. I suppose this means you also have to take into account the real attitude they have about their issue.

[Sytpg]

Some people aren't worth bailing out of debt or listening to them whine.

I guess. But that probably means that some are. And yeah, not everyone's a whiner.

I can't say I've been with someone with such problems but the thought of setting someone aside just because they have problems seems to me like the complete opposite of what a relationship should be. Obviously I'm talking about real relationships and not just fleeting stuff.

[runvardh]

I guess. But that probably means that some are. And yeah, not everyone's a whiner.

I can't say I've been with someone with such problems but the thought of setting someone aside just because they have problems seems to me like the complete opposite of what a relationship should be. Obviously I'm talking about real relationships and not just fleeting stuff.

Some problems are caused by thought processes that are on my "Do not want" list. I'd rather get the false alarm and pay attention, than wonder what the fuck I've gotten myself into afterwards.

By the way... I have to deal with IBD, athsma, dust and dander allergies, hypoglycemia, lactose intolerance, roughening in the cartillage of my knees, and SAD. Not a list of the worst things, but I also don't take the subject lightly.