Parenting

[Silently Honest]

I was just talking on AIM with Jeffster, whose always come off as a Giant kid to me, despite me knowing he's a Dad, and actually one of the older members here, and I found that even for someone who apears a carefree and confident as a child (no offense Jeff) finds that parenting can be a scary, fun, scary, expierance. I was wondering if you parents would like to share expierences, Good, bad, and anything inbetween with your kids?

[Beat]

So, who'd you knock up? Got any names picked out yet?

[Silently Honest]

We're not sure if it's mine yet.

[Jeffster]

I was just talking on AIM with Jeffster, whose always come off as a Giant kid to me,

http://image-cache.boostcruising.com/database/readersphotos/files/littlenetsy20050401174744funnyfile1.jpg

[SolitaryPenguin]

http://image-cache.boostcruising.com/database/readersphotos/files/littlenetsy20050401174744funnyfile1.jpg

RUN, LADY!!! That fat baby is about to eat you!

[Jennifer]

RUN, LADY!!! That fat baby is about to eat you!

The only positive here is that the baby's already been born.

If it was still inside gestating, she'd have a big big big issue.

--

There is a lot that could be said about parenting.
And yes, it's fun, exhilarating, somber, terrifying and whatever other adjective you can come up with.

Because frankly you have to figure out how to best raise this other human being -- so they can become independent and successful apart from your input. Domination sometimes brings direct results you might like... but at the expense of destroying the child long-term. And you're not even guaranteed they will like you, after. (or that you'll like them.)

Parenting is the most humbling thing I ever have had to do.

[Beat]

And I was only kidding. Interesting though.

[Silently Honest]

And I was only kidding. Interesting though.
So was I.

[SolitaryPenguin]

In all seriousness though.

I went to this crazy Apple Fest thing in my town yesterday with my girlfriend and my son who is 6.

We were walking around, checking out the sites, eating hot dogs and such, and he finally ended up wanting to go play at the playground. Keep in mind, there were about 40,000 people wandering around my small town yesterday so this playground was friggin packed.

He's off doing his "E" thing, meeting everybody, telling them his name, all that, while my GF and I are just hanging out on the side, eating a hot dog. I started scanning the crowd, looking for shady characters, seeing who I thought would try to kidnap somebody. I was looking at all the various parents and their ways of reacting to things with their kids.

I honestly never used to thing that way before I was a dad, and I am not normally a terribly paranoid person, but I felt this crazy wave of protective fatherhood and I was ready to kick the crap out of anyone that messed with that kid.

All in all, that was a great hot dog.

[Jennifer]

In all seriousness though. I went to this crazy Apple Fest thing in my town yesterday with my girlfriend and my son who is 6.

We were walking around, checking out the sites, eating hot dogs and such, and he finally ended up wanting to go play at the playground. Keep in mind, there were about 40,000 people wandering around my small town yesterday so this playground was friggin packed.

He's off doing his "E" thing, meeting everybody, telling them his name, all that, while my GF and I are just hanging out on the side, eating a hot dog. I started scanning the crowd, looking for shady characters, seeing who I thought would try to kidnap somebody. I was looking at all the various parents and their ways of reacting to things with their kids.

I honestly never used to thing that way before I was a dad, and I am not normally a terribly paranoid person, but I felt this crazy wave of protective fatherhood and I was ready to kick the crap out of anyone that messed with that kid.

All in all, that was a great hot dog.

ha ha, welcome to the wild world of parenting! (or continual welcomes since you've been there awhile now)

After awhile, the "scanning" and multitasking of various needs and fears becomes second nature, doesn't it? :)

My younger son is also an E, and it was always a hoot -- even when he was three, he would befriend EVERYONE in the park ("A stranger is just a friend you haven't met!") and it would drive the rest of the family -- all introverts -- nutty. :)

[INTJMom]

I was just talking on AIM with Jeffster, whose always come off as a Giant kid to me, despite me knowing he's a Dad, and actually one of the older members here, and I found that even for someone who apears a carefree and confident as a child (no offense Jeff) finds that parenting can be a scary, fun, scary, expierance. I was wondering if you parents would like to share expierences, Good, bad, and anything inbetween with your kids?
I've been parenting for 22 years. The older my kids get, the more I appreciate the days when the biggest problems they had were ones I could solve with a kiss or a cookie. I had no idea it was going to get this complicated.

The one most important thing I have learned from parenting though, was to not be so selfish. I was an extremely self-centered and selfish human being when I was young. Knowing the impact of a parent on a child's life, I have taken my job very seriously. I've tried really hard to meet their needs and to be there for them. I highly recommend parenting classes and understanding your kids' MB types.

[Anja]

Oh boy, yeah. If you're serious about being a good parent plan on about twenty years of not existing in/as the first person!

[Grayscale]

Oh boy, yeah. If you're serious about being a good parent plan on about twenty years of not existing in/as the first person!

i always suspected that people were unprepared to become parents because they expect a child to be only an additional (albeit very large) responsibility, but still just a satellite to their own life, rather than vice versa.

it's just a hunch, i dont have any first hand experience to back it up, but perhaps you could expand on this?

[Jennifer]

i always suspected that people were unprepared to become parents because they expect a child to be only an additional (albeit very large) responsibility, but still just a satellite to their own life, rather than vice versa.

That's true.

I think some people actually do go too far the other way, though -- the parents and the marriage revolves around the kids. This can create a spoiled child.

Very young children are also on rigorous schedules, so the caregiver parent often can't focus on anything else really for the first few years because of the needs of the children. Couple that with natural instinct and the parent sort of does put his or her life on hold.

Money that got spend on adult desires is now channeled towards items and pursuits that benefit the child. Activities, vacations, trips, etc., now have to be kid-friendly. (I remember that my TV intake actually dropped off and I stopped watching shows I had followed for years because I just didn't have the time in my schedule anymore.)

The funny thing is that, while this is annoying in some ways, at the same time it was a far easier sacrifice to make than I had imagined because it was rewarding to have children.

In any case, I think money and time are the big areas -- the resources you had spent on yourself for your whole life now are spent on other things, for the sake of your kids.

[INTJMom]

Oh boy, yeah. If you're serious about being a good parent plan on about twenty years of not existing in/as the first person!
Yup. Pretty much. :smile:

[cafe]

Heh. Yeah, life as you've known it is over. But, I don't know, it's like the new life has more depth. You have to grow up. Someone else's very life depends upon it, the most precious person in the world.

It's hard. Sometimes you want to scream and run away or maybe get yourself committed, but you don't because that wouldn't be good for your kid(s). :laugh:

We've been doing this since we were 22 and are in the easy phase right now: everybody is out of diapers and in school, but we aren't yet having any major rebellion (hope we don't get a lot of that) or anybody we're having to watch flounder around on their own. In about ten years our youngest will be 20 and that will be an interesting adjustment.

[INTJMom]

i always suspected that people were unprepared to become parents because they expect a child to be only an additional (albeit very large) responsibility, but still just a satellite to their own life, rather than vice versa.

it's just a hunch, i dont have any first hand experience to back it up, but perhaps you could expand on this?
Yeah. I've seen parents doing this and it makes me cringe.
You can just tell their lives are still centered around themselves and their kids are an appendage.

[Beat]

So was I.

Well, here, let me pass a serving of LOL.

[runvardh]

Yeah. I've seen parents doing this and it makes me cringe.
You can just tell their lives are still centered around themselves and their kids are an appendage.


If balanced right it can be used to enrich the child's life rather than cause them harm. I was raised where my parents didn't need to be at home all the time. I've learned navigation skills, outdoors skills, and was kept in good shape as I grew up. Now, I will say that one parent did treat myself and my brothers totally as just an appendage; the other, however, did it for us as much as they did it for themselves.

Edit: take what I say with a grain of salt; not being a parent tends to mean I don't know what I'm talking about.