Too alike = too bland? [Archive]

animenagai

10-03-2008, 08:23 AM

we jump around theories and type combinations here on MBTI central. let's ask a basic question about MBTI romantic pairing: are types that are too close together boring? for example, i'm an ENFP, and i've noticed that a lot of chicks who i've eyed out are NFP's. i understand that i am drawn to them because of certain similarities. however, as a person with literally no relationship experience, i wonder if these similarities will become bring after a while. from your experience, do you work better with types who are close to you or types who share some similarities but are largely different from you?

Jack Flak

10-03-2008, 08:33 AM

In short, yes, for me. I appreciate people for possessing traits I don't.

AwesomeCakes

10-03-2008, 08:40 AM

Goodness. Definitely. Same = BORING! I agree with Jack. Opposite traits ftw. :yes:

ajblaise

10-03-2008, 08:41 AM

I think we could have two people of the same MBTI type who still have many core differences. But as far as someone who is very similar to me.. I don't think they = blandness necessarily but it certainly increases the chances of it, but there is still lots of room for friction.

I appreciate other types.. should they be foolish enough to posses traits I don't.

animenagai

10-03-2008, 08:42 AM

Goodness. Definitely. Same = BORING! I agree with Jack. opposite traits ftw. :yes:

ISTJ or INTJ?

Trinity

10-03-2008, 08:48 AM

For me, getting involved with someone of the same type would be kinda like dating a sibling http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/disdain3.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)

Jack Flak

10-03-2008, 08:52 AM

ISTJ or INTJ?
ESFP/ENFx ftw.

AwesomeCakes

10-03-2008, 08:57 AM

Goodness. Definitely. Same = BORING! I agree with Jack. Complimentary traits ftw. :yes:

I was with an ISTJ for oh let's just say...a long time. I found that relationship to be very restricting. Especially as far as cleaning and money, and schedules *regurgitates* I found it very tiring, but this is just my experience.

I have never been with an INTJ.

I am with an INTP now and we compliment each other very nicely. We are very different, yet very much alike.

animenagai

10-03-2008, 09:00 AM

For me, getting involved with someone of the same type would be kinda like dating a sibling http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/disdain3.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)

what's wrong with that? we're just people man. one love. ok even i know i went too far on that one :doh:.

i do find that i agree with keirsey in that i find S and N just clashes too much. acceptable with friends, but i don't think anyone will truly ever 'get me' if they're too S.

how do hobbies work in terms of similarities? you think that you need to be interested in similar things? is it easy to drift apart and just 'do your own thing' if they don't?

Bufo

10-03-2008, 09:01 AM

Without regard to type:

Similar interests: Yes

Different areas of strengths: A must

Similar weakness: Never

Jack Flak

10-03-2008, 09:21 AM

Affected by type: Areas of strength and weakness.

Trinity

10-03-2008, 09:23 AM

how do hobbies work in terms of similarities? you think that you need to be interested in similar things? is it easy to drift apart and just 'do your own thing' if they don't?

Methinks you need common ground but don't need to share hobbies.

Randomnity

10-03-2008, 02:11 PM

My bf is one letter off (ISFP), we are alike in a lot of ways but different in many more. I think it's a pretty good balance, and isn't boring. Mind you, he's a lot more SP-like than me so maybe that helps. We certainly have different strengths and weaknesses, for the most part....if I had to guess, I'd say that my weakness are more related to the I/T while his are more S/P.

People of very different types can sometimes result in...explosive interactions.

nottaprettygal

10-03-2008, 02:28 PM

It's sort of a silly notion to think that people of the same types possess exactly the same traits.

I don't see why it would necessarily be boring. Having the same type doesn't mean that you have the same thoughts and opinions. These are the things that keep relationships interesting, IMO. You can think/feel/sense/intuit in a very similar way but arrive at very different conclusions.

cafe

10-03-2008, 03:15 PM

My husband and I are both INs. He's an INTP and I'm an INFJ. We seem to have a lot of the same weaknesses and that does sometimes get us into trouble, but we are understanding with one another because it would be hypocritical not to be. Our strengths are pretty different, which is nice and interesting and fun and fosters some pretty good mutual admiration.

I suppose someone on the outside looking in might consider us bland, but we don't feel that way. He always has interesting things to talk about and I have my weird perspective shifts to apply to almost everything. We enjoy each other and laugh a lot together and our relationship is harmonious, comforting, and quietly passionate.

Works for us, but we've observed that some folks seem to need more conflict, power struggles, etc than we do. *shrug*

bluemonday

10-03-2008, 03:23 PM

Uberfuhrer

10-03-2008, 04:37 PM

Long story short, if she has looks that I approve of and she's like me in every way in terms of personality and intelligence, then I will have just met the perfect woman.

Oh, who am I kidding? I've always been attracted to artsy girls. Sadly, I am personally not artsy in any way in terms of dress -- I'm very pragmatic and don't know what I wear half the time...

Terian

10-03-2008, 07:17 PM

I love other ENTPs. I think it's possible that ENTPs are the most likely of all types to enjoy the company (LTR or not) of others in our type.

I'm so good at reading people that everyone ends up looking the same with minor changes (introversion/extroversion, etc.). In my experience, ENTPs are different- they're exciting and mysterious and most of all, interesting.

Ivy

10-04-2008, 01:45 AM

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heart

10-04-2008, 01:50 AM

Midget

10-04-2008, 05:09 AM

i do find that i agree with keirsey in that i find S and N just clashes too much. acceptable with friends, but i don't think anyone will truly ever 'get me' if they're too S.

I guess I don't yet understand S and N enough to see why this would be the case. I've always heard that J and P is a major deciding factor in if relationships will work...which makes since to me.

Tropics

10-04-2008, 06:15 PM

Firelie

10-04-2008, 07:27 PM

While it's nice to be on the same wavelength as another human being occasionally, I prefer someone who thinks differently enough to keep my interest.

That's not to say that it absolutely cannot be achieved with the same type, but for me personally, there are two types of INTJs...the kind I like (because they're more like me, more mellow and not quite as interested in type labeling) and the kind I dislike (the kind that lose themselves in intellectualism and think they're better than other people because of their type).

I dunno about anyone else, but I get bored with myself after a while, so that kinda puts the INTJs like me right out for any long-term consideration, and I obviously wouldn't want to be with someone I dislike, so that puts the other side right out as well.

Mondo

10-04-2008, 07:37 PM

I agree with nottaprettygal.
I found those one letter away from me in terms of type to be fascinating people.
I think I'm the only INFP in my set of friends...

sanveane

10-04-2008, 07:54 PM

hmm, another INFJ could be amazing. I love quirky and INFJs are that. We could have a lot of adventures together!

I don't seem to be able to make it work in a relationship with a big N/S divide so far. Can't discount that there's someone somewhere that it would work with. ISTJ has been particularly hard for me in a relationship. (I love my friends who have an S preference. But we would kill each other dead if we had to live together).

animenagai

10-04-2008, 11:51 PM

I love my friends who have an S preference. But we would kill each other dead if we had to live together).

that's 100% how i feel. i'll say that i have more S friends than N, simply because there are more S's out there. i have some great, great friendships with S's. those friends are a big chunk of my life. there's a difference though between having a really good friend you can go for help and a soulmate.

Johnny23

10-05-2008, 12:22 AM

I need a partner in crime. Someone who will be right there alongside me and can keep up with me. I don't think I really dig opposites that much.

LadyJaye

10-05-2008, 12:52 AM

I could never date another P. I enjoy the sharpness the J brings to the equation. And I need someone who can understand the way I think without actually being in my head, like another NFP would.

Babylon Candle

10-05-2008, 01:09 AM

For me, getting involved with someone of the same type would be kinda like dating a sibling http://smileyjungle.com/smilies/disdain3.gif (http://smileyjungle.com)

what if the best match for you IS the same type as your sibling? (INTJ) hahaha. im not sure how i will ever date an INTJ without it feeling like im with a sibling.

I think I would prefer an ENTJ anyways.... more extroversion would be fun.

Martoon

10-05-2008, 03:00 AM

I guess I don't yet understand S and N enough to see why this would be the case. I've always heard that J and P is a major deciding factor in if relationships will work...which makes since to me.
The J vs P has more to do with how things are done, which could be somewhat of any issue, but there are pros and cons both to being the same or opposite there, so it could work either way, depending on the individuals.

The S vs N has to do with communication, which is a very major issue. I'm an extreme N. I could potentially see myself with just about any type (some preferable to others, but I could potentially see just about any of them working), with the exception of any type with extreme S. I like S people - they're nice to be around, because they're so "in the moment" and make things happen - but I really feel like they don't "get me" at all. I just couldn't see a meaningful connection there.

I need to find a link to this, since this is probably the third or fourth time I've mentioned it, but they did a study of thousands of couples of various MBTI types. They had them rate how satisfied they were in the relationship, and how long it was. They then analyzed all the data, looking for correlations between type pairings and better relationships. The only measurable correlation they found was that S + S and N + N tended to work better than S + N. Other than that, there were no measurable correlations to indicate any particular type pairings to be bad or good.

This is not to say that certain types may not work better for a specific individual.

there are two types of INTJs ... the kind I like (because they're more like me ... not quite as interested in type labeling)
Sorry, I know what you meant, but that was too much fun to not quote. ;)

Uberfuhrer

10-05-2008, 03:04 AM

The major danger of a couple being too alike is the probability of having kids who are freaks.

Firelie

10-05-2008, 03:15 AM

Sorry, I know what you meant, but that was too much fun to not quote. ;)

I totally didn't catch that. Congratulations, you made me blush!

kyuuei

10-05-2008, 03:22 AM

One of my friends put it really well to me. Two ENFPs dating are like tethering a balloon down to another balloon. I wonder if other types would compliment each other better.. but if I were ending up with an ENFP, I'm sure I would just have to realize the situation for what it was and get over the obstacles same as any other. I don't think it would be too boring.. just different.

If I were to date another type, I know there would be times where our lack of similarities would make me have to adjust.. so I guess it's just an opposite way of adjusting for the relationship this way.

Martoon

10-05-2008, 03:40 AM

The major danger of a couple being too alike is the probability of having kids who are freaks.
I think that mostly applies in your case.

I totally didn't catch that. Congratulations, you made me blush!
That's what I'm here for.

Two ENFPs dating are like tethering a balloon down to another balloon.
Wheeee!

I'm seeing an image of two balloons tied together, drifting off toward the stratosphere (which I seem to see quite often, for some reason). And it seems a very appropriate image.

Uberfuhrer

10-05-2008, 03:43 AM

I think that mostly applies in your case.

Now that was mean.

Wow, you are the devil!

Martoon

10-05-2008, 04:21 AM

Now that was mean.
I thought you liked it that way! Just trying to be accommodating, since I'm an especially nice kind of devil.

kyuuei

10-05-2008, 04:25 AM

Wheeee!

I'm seeing an image of two balloons tied together, drifting off toward the stratosphere (which I seem to see quite often, for some reason). And it seems a very appropriate image.

Metamorphosis described that one time and it's been a staple example in our little circle since. I'm glad you find it just as appropriate ^_^b

Uberfuhrer

10-05-2008, 04:29 AM

I thought you liked it that way! Just trying to be accommodating, since I'm an especially nice kind of devil.

Well, I guess my metal braces are out of date...

animenagai

10-05-2008, 04:30 AM

Metamorphosis described that one time and it's been a staple example in our little circle since. I'm glad you find it just as appropriate ^_^b

i have to say, being 'high as a kite' with friends is something that every ENFP should earn for :D. it could be tiring, but if another ENFP can make me feel that way, it would be pretty awesome.

kyuuei

10-05-2008, 04:33 AM

i have to say, being 'high as a kite' with friends is something that every ENFP should earn for :D. it could be tiring, but if another ENFP can make me feel that way, it would be pretty awesome.

I never said two balloons floating up are a bad or good thing ;)

animenagai

10-05-2008, 04:39 AM

I never said two balloons floating up are a bad or good thing ;)

i know. i'm just 'harnessing my NF' :headphne:

Babylon Candle

10-05-2008, 05:11 AM

I never said two balloons floating up are a bad or good thing ;)

well shit.... we got enough ENFPs on here to test this out then... randomized controlled test anyone? (im not sure if we could make it a double blind test haha)

:wubbie::headphne::hug:

....:devil:

animenagai

10-05-2008, 05:16 AM

well shit.... we got enough ENFPs on here to test this out then... randomized controlled test anyone? (im not sure if we could make it a double blind test haha)

:wubbie::headphne::hug:

....:devil:

you got someone in mind BC? come on, spill the beans :smile:

Rachelinpa

10-06-2008, 07:06 PM

ENTPs are different- they're exciting and mysterious and most of all, interesting.

I want one for my very own!

Grayscale

10-06-2008, 07:54 PM

too many ENFPs in one thread, im calling the fire marshall

inevitable clean up aside, i think it would be fun to hang out with another ISTP

Beat

10-06-2008, 10:12 PM

I don't know how much I could endure with a fellow ISTJ. ISTJ isn't so strong in the traits that attract me to another. I like Fe in woman.

Viv

10-08-2008, 06:34 AM

In my early 20s, I quickly found out that the whole notion between "Oppossites Attract" did not work well for me.

I dated an INTJ who was the complete oppossite. I actually was most bored in that relationship than in all of my other relationships, but I do admire his gentelmanlyness/the fact that he was very sincere. That part I loved. Though he was mysterious/attractive in his own ways, extremely educated, extremely stable in all parts of his life, he lacked substance in certain areas that were important to me. At times I felt we were living separate lives, even though we were physically together. We were just so different. I felt a lot of friction, even though he didn't. It almost seemed like he had more fun hanging out with me than I did with him.

In comparison with the ENFP I dated for a long long time, I was much happier with that person, because we saw eye-to-eye on a lot of issues. Our similarities made us grow stronger/further deepenend our bond.

Having someone who shared similar values/traits jibed well with me more. I couldn't remember a dull moment, because every aspect of our relationship was fun/exciting. Even after knowing him for 10 years, we would still have phone conversations that would last well-over 6 hours- not one second of it was dull. Sad part is, even though I would've liked it to work, he just started to become more like a 'bro' to me than someone who I can physically be attracted to..

All in all, lesson I learned: the more similarities I have with a long-term partner, the chances of us growing together are higher than sticking with someone of the oppossite personality. That's just my preference though. Then again, everyone's their own unique person, so I guess it's just trial and error.

placebo

10-09-2008, 04:22 AM

Quite different I think. I don't know if I would say I'm a well rounded person, so I would prefer to work with someone who offers what I can't. It's good that way. I think I usually tend to jive well with people slightly more on the extroverted side for example.

GargoylesLegacy

11-02-2008, 11:10 PM

Okay uhm...this is kiiiinda hard but let's give it a Shot.

So...similar Interests is cool, VERY. I have been looking for Someone who would wanna share some of my Hobbies with me Everywhere. But no Luck so far. And it makes me go nuts somewhen. IDK.

Weaknesses...well, it could be cool if both have the same, because then both could work TOGETHER on them. If they are completely opposite, one might not understand the other so well. I have already seen that.

Strenghts...hm, well, SOME equal ones is fine. I mean totally equal would suck, since personally I wanna be somewhat unique and stunn the other Person a Bit so I'd say...half-half.

To sum it up:
~ Similar Interests: half-half, but still a LITTLE more to same
~ Similar Weaknesses: Sure, why not. It's more Fun to help each Other and it makes you understand better
~ Similar Strenghts: half-half. You should still be able to stun the other Person and to teach each other some Stuff.