Stalking

[Headstrong]

Not quite sure where to put this...but those who do it are messed up.

I was walking my brazilian mastiff "puppy" (60 lbs at 3.5 months, mind you) around town this morning and this guy came out of nowhere and started walking behind us. Not a big deal at first...just a bit startling. So we're taking some quieter, nicer side streets that run parallel to the main road. My dog keeps looking back at this guy and grunting. I'm just trying to get on with the walk. This guy follows us the whole time on the opposite side walk, just far back enough for it to look obvious that I'm watching him. I decided to head for the main road to get out in public. He continues to follow me and when I finally stop along the main street so I can get him in front of me, he comes to my side of the street, cuts across us maybe 6 feet away, into the street, and heads into town. I was royally freaked. He was an older guy, too. I reported the incident to the cops a bit afterwards, but honestly, where do people get off doing this kind of stuff? My gut (and my dog) say he was following me, so I'm not questioning that. I live in a relatively small, quiet town where not much happens crime wise. We have the usual sex offenders...one right down the street, but I never really expected this to happen. Doesn't help that I'm nearly 20 years old and look like Im 16.

So my question to you all is, have you ever been followed/stalked? What did you do? How did you react? What do you think goes on in the sick minds of those who commit these sort of acts?

I feel like my sense of personal security has been stolen. I hope Titan (my pup!) eats him or anyone else who even thinks about doing this again.

[Uberfuhrer]

I welcome stalking...it's flattering when I'm being stalked by an attractive girl. It also gives me an excuse to call the cops!

EDIT: Have you ever heard of the search engine?

[YourLocalJesus]

I'd love to be stalked. It would give me an incredible sense of self-worth. ;)

[ajblaise]

I was stalked by a girl in high school, she knew I would never be interested in her, but she still did it. She didn't do anything too crazy, but it was annoying. I imagine it is a lot less disturbing and threatening when a girl is the one doing it.

[YourLocalJesus]

On the other hand, some people are just doing it for sport. Or prectice.
For those that watch the "Dexter" series it wouldn't be a surprise that the guy who plays "Dexter", Michael C. Hall, actually did a lot of stalking at night as practice before he started playing his role. Not that it's common with actors doing that particular thing, but I imagine many people think it is exciting to play "spy" or whatever it is they are doing. Most people are really childish :D Although there are lots of sick fucks, too.

[disregard]

Who were you walking with?

[Headstrong]

Who were you walking with?

No one else. Did the "we're/we" confuse you? By that I meant my dog and I. You could probably make a case for including the guy in the "we," though, too. :laugh:

To everyone else: I'm sure a(n) (attractive) girl doing the stalking would be a better situation, maybe even enjoyable. Heck, I'd even go for an attractive guy. But alas, I got the male 55 year + variety.

[Uberfuhrer]

I was stalked by a girl in high school, she knew I would never be interested in her, but she still did it. She didn't do anything too crazy, but it was annoying. I imagine it is a lot less disturbing and threatening when a girl is the one doing it.

I envy you.

Exactly how attractive are you? And how attractive was she?

[ajblaise]

Exactly how attractive are you? And how attractive was she?

I think I'm fairly attractive, there is a pic of me in my profile uber ;).. the girl was not attractive at all and very overweight.

[Uberfuhrer]

I think I'm fairly attractive, there is a pic of me in my profile uber ;).. the girl was not attractive at all and very overweight.

Oh, then I don't envy you.

[disregard]

No one else. Did the "we're/we" confuse you? By that I meant my dog and I. You could probably make a case for including the guy in the "we," though, too. :laugh:

To everyone else: I'm sure a(n) (attractive) girl doing the stalking would be a better situation, maybe even enjoyable. Heck, I'd even go for an attractive guy. But alas, I got the male 55 year + variety.

Oh, gotcha.

If you see him again, face him at 90 degree angle, put your hands on your hips and ask, WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME?

Don't seem like easy prey.

[placebo]

Not quite sure where to put this...but those who do it are messed up.

I was walking my brazilian mastiff "puppy" (60 lbs at 3.5 months, mind you) around town this morning and this guy came out of nowhere and started walking behind us. Not a big deal at first...just a bit startling. So we're taking some quieter, nicer side streets that run parallel to the main road. My dog keeps looking back at this guy and grunting. I'm just trying to get on with the walk. This guy follows us the whole time on the opposite side walk, just far back enough for it to look obvious that I'm watching him. I decided to head for the main road to get out in public. He continues to follow me and when I finally stop along the main street so I can get him in front of me, he comes to my side of the street, cuts across us maybe 6 feet away, into the street, and heads into town. I was royally freaked. He was an older guy, too. I reported the incident to the cops a bit afterwards, but honestly, where do people get off doing this kind of stuff? My gut (and my dog) say he was following me, so I'm not questioning that. I live in a relatively small, quiet town where not much happens crime wise. We have the usual sex offenders...one right down the street, but I never really expected this to happen. Doesn't help that I'm nearly 20 years old and look like Im 16.

So my question to you all is, have you ever been followed/stalked? What did you do? How did you react? What do you think goes on in the sick minds of those who commit these sort of acts?

I feel like my sense of personal security has been stolen. I hope Titan (my pup!) eats him or anyone else who even thinks about doing this again.


Seriously, I don't get it either. I'm a university student and I was taking public transportation from school on a totally packed bus, and this old guy sits next to me and starts talking to me about waaay too much stuff. Freaks me the crap out. And after I get off the bus and try to scurry away, he keeps following me. I try to divert him and stuff, but I still need to go on a second bus home... I ended up taking a completely different bus to avoid him (after I saw him get on the bus I was supposed to go on). It was full daylight and there were tons of people, so I'm relieved about that, but I couldn't figure out why he would do that. He was telling me how his girlfriend left him, etc etc... probably wanted to creep some random girl out as revenge. I felt like taking a picture but felt it'd be too obvious, and I didn't really end up doing anything about it except telling my mom why she had to pick me up somewhere random.

Also another situation, it wasn't really stalking, but I knew this guy who was a tad too obsessed with me. It was DISTURBING. I get really easily disturbed in general if someone expresses some kind of possible unwanted interest in me, and this was too much. I was physically creeped out. My body was like 'nooooooooooo' *shudder*. I understand his situation more though because he was my age.

[kyuuei]

I've never had an incident where someone was outright stalking me. I'm not even sure what I'd do if it did happen.. since I tend to be paranoid about silly stuff, people probably wouldn't believe me at first.

[ajblaise]

Oh, then I don't envy you.

Yeah I don't think there are too many babes out there really stalking guys.

[sanveane]

So my question to you all is, have you ever been followed/stalked? What did you do? How did you react? What do you think goes on in the sick minds of those who commit these sort of acts?

I feel like my sense of personal security has been stolen. I hope Titan (my pup!) eats him or anyone else who even thinks about doing this again.

I've had weird encounters since I was about 15... it makes me feel the same way, once it gets past a certain point and it's pretty obvious that I'm uncomfortable, it makes me really angry... which is probably good cos I forget that I'm a bit scared. I keep pretty calm though, I don't think it's good to show fear. I think when it happens atm it's because it's just part of living in a big city... The last person caught me totally unawares. He was wearing a three piece suit and he started walking beside me and talking to me which is fine. But then he started in on my feet, and he wouldn't stop looking at my feet, pulled out a shoe catalogue and tried to get me to tell him what I'd like to wear! That is when things turned very icy from me... I was like ok gotta go now, bye, but he just kept walking along with me, wanted to know if I'd meet him that night, yeah right. Creepy. I'm sure some men who do stuff like that especially if it turns to stalking have compulsions they feel they can't control (which obviously doesn't make it ok).

And I think the ones that follow you but don't talk to you are a bit scarier, they seem predatory.

EDIT: Sorry... this was not a very helpful post - I agree with below, tell someone what happened etc. I would also vary my routine and dog-walking route...

[Viv]

It's a scary feeling isn't it? A Harley dude followed me around on the road last week on his motor-bike for blocks/blocks. Frrreaked me out, but I kept my calm.

Next time anyone follows you around make sure to carry your cellphone/flash it in their face so they know you're about to dial (in my case, I couldn't dial 9-1-1 for whatever reason, but tried getting someone else to).

Since you were walking your doggy around, I'd try to quickly get to the most public area possible (preferably if it's around the neighborhood- go to the park where stroller-moms are at- hopefully they're quite aware as well)/get someone's attention. In my case, I went around in circles, then drove towards the local police station. He then got lost.

Sorry to hear about your incident. I'd recommend using a tazer-gun or pepper spray, if he's within distance (also make sure if it's required to have certification for these protective items, you're covered on that part as well). In my case, I had my car to protect me. Stay safe & good luck..

[Bella]

I'm tiny, but not scared. I turn around and concentrate on every bit of repressed anger I have and ask them what in the the heck they think they're doing!
Okay, I haven't had to do this much......

[Anja]

There was a man in one place I worked who used to stare at me. I'd "feel" him before I even turned around and the hair would actually start to stand up on the back of my head. (Tees ignore that thing about the hair.)

I'd turn around and then he would slowly start to smile as though he knew my feelings state. Mucho creepy.

I just kept going about my business as, under the particular circumstances, it would have been difficult and probably problematic to acknowledge the situation.

Eventually he lost interest.

My opinion? He was "playing." Cute little game.

These guys get a sense of power trying to intimidate you. And you know what that means. . .

[Headstrong]

Next time anyone follows you around make sure to carry your cellphone/flash it in their face so they know you're about to dial (in my case, I couldn't dial 9-1-1 for whatever reason, but tried getting someone else to).

Since you were walking your doggy around, I'd try to quickly get to the most public area possible (preferably if it's around the neighborhood- go to the park where stroller-moms are at- hopefully they're quite aware as well)/get someone's attention. In my case, I went around in circles, then drove towards the local police station. He then got lost.

Sorry to hear about your incident. I'd recommend using a tazer-gun or pepper spray, if he's within distance (also make sure if it's required to have certification for these protective items, you're covered on that part as well). In my case, I had my car to protect me. Stay safe & good luck..

Cell phones are a must. I almost didn't take mine today, but fortunately I got off my lazy butt to find it and put it in my pocket. I did cut our usual route short and headed to the main street, which has a "music park" running along it. Unfortunately, no one ever uses it.

It was just a bit unnerving. I would not have been able to call the police and still remain aware of my surroundings. This guy was unreal...no matter how many times my dog and I sped up/slowed down for whatever the reason, he still kept the same distance away.

Thanks for the good wishes and I definately will stay safe(r). Good news for me is, once my mastiff grows up, he'll be 160+ lbs of mean, lean, stalker-eating machine. :laugh: He already knows the trouble-makers.

[01011010]

I had a mastiff as a kid and I would ride him like a pony. I'm 4'10''. It worked out fine. lol

In all seriousness, make sure your parents know. Don't go anywhere without them being aware of your location. Keeping your dog with you and your phone on you is good as you stated above. Stalkers are very creepy. It's better to be paranoid safe, than not safe enough. Good luck.

[runvardh]

Know how to use knives? Two things I wish for were the ability to carry swords and the ability to aquire a daimond impregneted titanium steel blade forged kitana style. Could probalby rip through car bodies very nicely with that. I should stop dreaming...

[Alpha Prime]

Not quite sure where to put this...but those who do it are messed up.

I was walking my brazilian mastiff "puppy" (60 lbs at 3.5 months, mind you) around town this morning and this guy came out of nowhere and started walking behind us. Not a big deal at first...just a bit startling. So we're taking some quieter, nicer side streets that run parallel to the main road. My dog keeps looking back at this guy and grunting. I'm just trying to get on with the walk. This guy follows us the whole time on the opposite side walk, just far back enough for it to look obvious that I'm watching him. I decided to head for the main road to get out in public. He continues to follow me and when I finally stop along the main street so I can get him in front of me, he comes to my side of the street, cuts across us maybe 6 feet away, into the street, and heads into town. I was royally freaked. He was an older guy, too. I reported the incident to the cops a bit afterwards, but honestly, where do people get off doing this kind of stuff? My gut (and my dog) say he was following me, so I'm not questioning that. I live in a relatively small, quiet town where not much happens crime wise. We have the usual sex offenders...one right down the street, but I never really expected this to happen. Doesn't help that I'm nearly 20 years old and look like Im 16.

1. So my question to you all is, have you ever been followed/stalked? What did you do? How did you react? What do you think goes on in the sick minds of those who commit these sort of acts?

2. I feel like my sense of personal security has been stolen. I hope Titan (my pup!) eats him or anyone else who even thinks about doing this again.

1. They are all needy, weak and pathetic people. In real life, I give them a chance by ignoring them, completely. If they don't get the hint, I express my thoughts to the person directly. Still getting stalked? It's time to ask myself what Wayne Brady (http://partmule.com/wayne_brady.jpg) is known for - which I may have to do, tomorrow. :woot:

2. Why don't you get a bigger, and hungrier dog?

[Headstrong]

2. Why don't you get a bigger, and hungrier dog?

Oh, he is plenty hungry (6+cups of food a day). We just have to wait on the "big" part. Though, 75-80lbs at 4 months is nothing to sneeze at.

As a general update: I have not seen this guy since. Hopefully it stays this way.

[Apollanaut]

I experienced a nasty incident when I was a teenager (long before the days of cellphones). I was walking home at night when a 30ish man started following me. Now I'm a 6ft 2in tall male and walk very fast, yet this guy caught up to me easily and started talking to me. Casual stuff at first, then he asked if I would go back to his place to help him fix a burst water pipe (yeah, right!).

After I refused he grabbed me in the genital region - lightning fast, no warning whatsoever! I was stunned and frightened, but kept walking after he let go. His chat then turned nasty and sexually threatening, until he grabbed hold of me again and tried to force me into an alleyway. After a brief struggle, I managed to fight him off and he took off at top speed. Never saw him again, but the whole incident was deeply unsettling.

To this day I hate being closely followed by anyone. If I'm walking with a group of people, I will gradually gravitate to the back of the group so that no-one is behind me. Apart from that I've put the incident behind me. My best suggestion to you is to always maintain a level of awareness when walking outdoors. I'm not a paranoid person, but there are a certain number of crazies out there, and what makes them dangerous is their unpredictability. By staying alert, as you ably did in the story you described, you are able to make quick decisions and alter your route to make it more difficult for these stalkers.

[animenagai]

i remember when i was in HS. i had a crush on a chick and i guess i was a borderline stalker. i didn't follow her home or anything, but whenever i saw her during school, i would stick around just to get to see her longer. i know that sounds horrible and i know that sounds creepy, but honestly, she just brightened every room she was in. i was so overcome by her i just wanted to see her. in retrospect, it's not the best idea, but damn, my intentions were pure :(

[Apollanaut]

i remember when i was in HS. i had a crush on a chick and i guess i was a borderline stalker. i didn't follow her home or anything, but whenever i saw her during school, i would stick around just to get to see her longer. i know that sounds horrible and i know that sounds creepy, but honestly, she just brightened every room she was in. i was so overcome by her i just wanted to see her. in retrospect, it's not the best idea, but damn, my intentions were pure :(

I don't see that as the same thing as stalking! It actually sounds quite normal to want to be around someone you admire, as long as it doesn't get too obsessive :wubbie:

[animenagai]

I don't see that as the same thing as stalking! It actually sounds quite normal to want to be around someone you admire, as long as it doesn't get too obsessive :wubbie:

aww thanks. if only she saw it the same way :D

[Athenian200]

So my question to you all is, have you ever been followed/stalked? What did you do? How did you react? What do you think goes on in the sick minds of those who commit these sort of acts?

I feel like my sense of personal security has been stolen. I hope Titan (my pup!) eats him or anyone else who even thinks about doing this again.

Well, it has never happened to me, but I'm always paranoid that it will... so I try to limit the amount of time I spend outside. I don't know how I would react, but I know I would be scared. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.

Their minds... well, there's only three answers I can see:


They're simply curious about whether they can follow someone without being detected, and how well they can figure out someone's routine. There aren't many reputable applications of this skill, and you may or may not be the target.


They want something you have, and are waiting until you're in a position that they can take it from you. They simply have no empathy or sense of guilt to stop them from thinking this way.


They're obsessed with you, and either want to know as much about you as they can, or simply like watching you. This may or may not end up in them eventually making themselves a problem in your life, but it's definitely not a proper or healthy expression of interest in someone.



In any case, their motives are not likely to be good. :(

[LadyJaye]

Pink and I have been stalked by a guy at the church we were attending - he showed up at our work, he showed up at a pool hall I was at with some friends ( which means he was looking for our car, which was a distinctive blue VW, but it's not like our city is small ), he called our house. When he showed up at our house, it was the final straw and I went outside and threatened to tear him up. Fortunately my rage made him back up and get back in his car, but it was not a good idea for me to have confronted him alone. Had I not been blisteringly angry, I should have thought the better of it.

I've also had a guy follow Pink and me while we were walking with a friend - I knew the guy was trouble because I noticed him immediately and his presence felt menacing. The I caught him following behind us, so I turned around and made a scene, yelling at him and telling him that I was on to him, and that if I caught him behind us again, I would call the police. I thought that was the end of him - we finished our walk, and Pink and I went back to our car and drove to visit a friend. Well, when I pulled into the parking lot, a car parks right in front of us, and it was the same guy. It was definitely an attempt at intimidation. It made me so angry I went started yelling at him through our windshield, grabbed a wrench out of the floorboard and started to get out of the car. But fortunately, Pink prevented me. It would have been extremely foolish to confront him. But I've had strangers do so many creepy things, I tend to get irate.

Bottom line - if someone is making you feel uncomfortable, trust you instincts and protect yourself, no matter how foolish or overboard it may seem to you - go find help if someone is scaring you, no matter how silly you feel, because your instincts are almost always right. And don't be afraid to make a scene either.

[alicia91]

Yes, I was the victim of a creep in high school - not sure if it's stalking or some other thing. How it started was that I began to receive very strange phone calls from a man who claimed to be a single father who had seen my babysitting advertisment at a grocery store. He wanted to chat and asked a lot of questions about me like he was trying to get to know me and see if I would be a suitable babysitter. I thought he sounded weird and also very young to be a father - probably not much older than me. He called a couple of times then stopped.

I had a bedroom window on the main floor of our house and the rest of my family had upstair bedrooms. For some reason the head of my bed was right under the window. I had one of those roller blinds on the window but you could perhaps still see a little bit around it. Anyhow, one night I woke up because I thought I heard a faint knocking right above my head. I ignored it. A couple of night later it happened again but I was much to scared to pull up the shade. One night I woke my parents and they just didn't believe me. Finally I begged my parents to sleep in my bedroom and indeed they heard the tapping! My dad decided to run a piece of string from two bushes on either side of the window. The next day it had snowed and the string was broken also there was a set of footprints and dogprints. They led from our driveway to my window, then through my backyard then out to the park behind the house.

A few weeks later the calls started again this time someone asked for me, and when I got on the phone I was told that next time I'm out jogging, that he was going to 'get me.' This happened about 3-4 times per week. At this point we went to the police but they said that unless this person called several times per day that they wouldn't do anything. At this point I was almost too scared to leave the house. Eventually it just stopped. All of this happened over about a 6 month period.

[amorali]

There is also a background of that in my life.
Just reading the thread brings up those fear responses, quickening pulse of the heart etc.
You best be careful coz these guys can make you think everything is ok then catch you by surprise. If they see you some days maybe at the supermarket they can actually develop a grudge over time.
Be aware that mastiffs I've been told don't always make the best guard dogs. They need to be trained. If he knows this it won't stop him.
Carry pepper spray, change your route often, carry your mobile, train the dog.
There are police suggestions that might sound icky but could save you from a great many situations. If you want to hear them I don't mind typing them out. However embarrassing it is to say on a public forum!
These people often get it into their heads that what they're doing is romantic (?) so those police suggestions can ruin the illusion for them.

[Alpha Prime]

You best be careful coz these guys can make you think everything is ok then catch you by surprise.

You can say that again.

[Neo Genesis]

I'd absolutely flip shit if anyone tried to do anything similar to any of the girls I know. I definitely suggest carrying some kind of protection from now on. Honestly, how fucked up are these people?