What are some good first date ideas?

[Uberfuhrer]

I'll be the first to admit that the dinner-and-a-movie date, although traditional, is one I like because, well, I like movies (so maybe just the movie part -- skip dinner).

But what are some examples of more unconventional first date ideas that are also affordable (maybe even free) and I won't necessarily go to jail for?

Personal experiences are also helpful.

[Jack Flak]

Making out on the couch has always been my fav. style of first date.

[Uberfuhrer]

Okay, let us assume that this first date will not definitely end up in ripping clothes off.

[Geoff]

A picnic... a walk under the stars... along a beach. So far these are cheap and nearly free. I think going for a walk and a chat, with the occasional ice cream break is ideal.

Good reason why : you are likely to stop at a bench to chat.. and that can be much easier if one is a bit nervous, than sitting face to face at dinner. There is an easy intimacy about side by side on a first date (probably why movies are so popular)

[Jack Flak]

Okay, let us assume that this first date will not definitely end up in ripping clothes off.
So this is an exercise in pure theory then?

[Uberfuhrer]

So this is an exercise in pure theory then?

No:

Personal experiences are also helpful.

[Jack Flak]

Then I must stand by my original statement.

[Edahn]

The zoo, as long as you promise not to say "you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals..."

Something sporty. Maybe medieval jousting. I think that would be rad, actually, if you said it totally seriously and didn't ask for permission. Just say "we're gonna go medieval jousting. You'll like it."

The arcade is a fun place too, as is miniature golf. If it's too expensive for you, you could always go here (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/arcade.php).

A picnic... a walk under the stars... along a beach. I think going for a walk and a chat, with the occasional ice cream break is ideal.

Damn man, that's some creative shit right there.

[Uberfuhrer]

If it's too expensive for you, you could always go here (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/arcade.php).

While that isn't a bad idea, in theory, a girl would probably dump me if she ever read my posts here.

Amusement parks were on my list for date ideas, but they are only open during the summer.

I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?

[whatever]

Take a nice walk through the downtown with no plans, then you can drop into whatever art galleries, parks, restraunts or bars catch your eye for as long or as short as you want. This, of course goes best if you can converse sufficiently I suppose. :) The best dates I've been on were unplanned and spontaneous like that.

And graveyards aren't creepy necissarily- I've gotten drunk and smoked the hookah there one evening at my INFP friend's suggestion (our INTP friend was also a victim of this somewhat hairbrained idea). Kind of creepy after dark though :ninja:

[Edahn]

I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?

I'm not a goth chick and I think it's weird.

[Uberfuhrer]

Take a nice walk through the downtown with no plans, then you can drop into whatever art galleries, parks, restraunts or bars catch your eye for as long or as short as you want. This, of course goes best if you can converse sufficiently I suppose. :) The best dates I've been on were unplanned and spontaneous like that.

Whatever art galleries? I didn't know you owned art galleries.

That's not a bad idea. I just wish I had a way to get downtown. I've also considered an orchestra (Cleveland has one of the finest in the world), but maybe that's a little cultured. And regardless, I have no way of easily getting downtown for now.

And graveyards aren't creepy necissarily- I've gotten drunk and smoked the hookah there one evening at my INFP friend's suggestion (our INTP friend was also a victim of this somewhat hairbrained idea). Kind of creepy after dark though :ninja:

Dead people don't come alive at night in real life.

And I promise that I will leave my shovel at home for a graveyard date. It would violate the OP clause.

I'm not a goth chick and I think it's weird.

Really? Well then what kind of chick are you?

[GZA]

Here's an idea, but I've never tried it out.

A photography date. You bassically just walk around town and get to know eachother, but you bring your camera (I mean like a real SLR camera, not just a practical digital one. It's supposed to be real hobby photography, not like snapshot photography). You can also get lunch of whatever, but the idea is that you are being kind of active by walking around and looking at all the sights, you are actually conversing (unlike a movie), and taking pictures of stuff and eachother gives great reason to check eachother out and get some other physical and sexual chemistry going. It would obviously work best if both of you were into photography, but it would also be great if the intent was to teach her a bit (cause thats always fun and there's always a lot of chemistry in that, too, a lot of fun).

If you're really hardcore into photography and you have your own darkroom, you could develop them together, too. Now... what to do for half an hour while the chemicles are rinsing off and you're still in the dark room :whistling:

[Edahn]

Really? Well then what kind of chick are you?

The kind that has big male genitalia instead of boobs.

[Jack Flak]

The kind that has big male genitalia instead of boobs.
I'm not gonna ask where you got them.

[Bella]

Here's an idea, but I've never tried it out.

A photography date. You bassically just walk around town and get to know eachother, but you bring your camera (I mean like a real SLR camera, not just a practical digital one. It's supposed to be real hobby photography, not like snapshot photography). You can also get lunch of whatever, but the idea is that you are being kind of active by walking around and looking at all the sights, you are actually conversing (unlike a movie), and taking pictures of stuff and eachother gives great reason to check eachother out and get some other physical and sexual chemistry going. It would obviously work best if both of you were into photography, but it would also be great if the intent was to teach her a bit (cause thats always fun and there's always a lot of chemistry in that, too, a lot of fun).

If you're really hardcore into photography and you have your own darkroom, you could develop them together, too. Now... what to do for half an hour while the chemicles are rinsing off and you're still in the dark room :whistling:

First date...camera...man I hardly know.... DARK ROOM. My paranoia will reach new levels of crazy.

[GZA]

Once you get used to a dark room it's so nice and relaxing and intimate...

[Grayscale]

I'll be the first to admit that the dinner-and-a-movie date, although traditional, is one I like because, well, I like movies (so maybe just the movie part -- skip dinner).

i like how you think! however, i realized that even though i love movies they dont make good first (or second, or third) dates because you don't get much time to talk.

really, that's all you need. doesnt have to be complicated or fancy to get a decent idea of what the other person is like in a typical setting.

what sort of interests do you have that you think most women wouldn't mind sharing for an evening?

[booyalab]

yeah art galleries are good if you want to:
1. impress her with pretentious art babble
2. make fun of it

If you're dry enough you can be both and gauge her reaction before deciding whether your next course of action should be more obviously funny or pompous.

[Uberfuhrer]

The kind that has big male genitalia instead of boobs.

I guess you collect them in your coat pockets, huh?

[Jack Flak]

I guess you collect them in your coat pockets, huh?
Timing failure!

[Uytuun]

There is an easy intimacy about side by side

Remember this.

[Edahn]

I guess you collect them in your coat pockets, huh?

No, it doesn't reach that far.

[Kleinheiko]

Take her out to all the places your parents took you when you were kids: the zoo, parks, museums, etc . . . . it's always fun to be able to reminisce before you have made any memories together.

[whatever]

yeah art galleries are good if you want to:
1. impress her with pretentious art babble
2. make fun of it

If you're dry enough you can be both and gauge her reaction before deciding whether your next course of action should be more obviously funny or pompous.

;) art galleries are good during gallery crawl week when they all have wine and food on the opening night for free... I never missed one, they didn't seem to care to card :devil:

[Jack Flak]

Take her out to all the places your parents took you when you were kids: the zoo, parks, museums, etc . . . . it's always fun to be able to reminisce before you have made any memories together.
I'm actually quite nervous until there's a certain degree of carnal knowledge gained. I would never be able to concentrate on the animals if we went straight to the zoo.

[Uberfuhrer]

;) art galleries are good during gallery crawl week when they all have wine and food on the opening night for free... I never missed one, they didn't seem to care to card :devil:

One day I went to the art museum and envisioned an idea for an shoot-em-up action sequence for a movie. It's not the action sequence idea itself that intrigued me, but rather the idea of priceless works of art being destroyed. I love to destroy! I'm the destroyer!!!

[JivinJeffJones]

Go somewhere where there's a lot of pedestrian traffic and people-watch together. Low-key, non-threatening and possibly fun (depending on the individual). I find it a lot easier to make natural conversation when you're doing something else. And don't be too negative. Seriously.

[ThatGirl]

Sky diving followed by desert and coffee duh!

[Uberfuhrer]

Sky diving followed by desert and coffee duh!

I'm guessing you are a rich girl who considers skydiving to be cheap.

[ThatGirl]

uhhh no


Ok anything that is excieting or gets the adrenaline and endorphins going. Then talking after your both feeling good, at ease, and happy. Conversation wont be dull because at the very least you have a combined shared excieting story. Dont drag it out short and sweet.

Then let them go home and think about what a great time they had with you and how they wish they could spend more time like that.

[Jack Flak]

Ok anything that is excieting or gets the adrenaline and endorphins going....
:whistling:

[Jeffster]

McDonald's and Motel 6.

For the second date, you can just flip the order of those.

[Uberfuhrer]

McDonald's and Motel 6.

For the second date, you can just flip the order of those.

Well, you do claim to be the most romantic guy in the universe...

[GZA]

How about seeing a movie that you know NO ONE would ever see, so the theatre would be completely empty. I didn't come up with this one, by the way. But I've heard of guys taking their girlfriends to see a movie that no one is seeing anymore (i.e. Norbit just before it is removed from theatre playlists) and then, shall we say, taking advantage of their privacy :whistling: Eating out and a movie just got a whole new meaning!

Five bucks to anyone who can pull that off on a first date :pornstar:

[Enyo]

While that isn't a bad idea, in theory, a girl would probably dump me if she ever read my posts here.

Amusement parks were on my list for date ideas, but they are only open during the summer.

I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?

I'm decidedly non-Goth, and I've had some great dates that ended up with a long walk in the cemetery. But, to be fair, it was a historic cemetery, and I'm a history geek.

One of my best first dates ended up walking at the Grotto at St. Leo University and wandering all over the university campus.

I've also had fun first dates at Ybor City, the club district in Tampa. (I'm not sure if you've got anything that compares to it for you.)

Another first date has been shooting pool at a bar.

I've done dinner and a walk on the beach... Watching the airplanes land....

Some of the best dates that I've been on were inexpensive or free. Some of the worst dates I've been on have been at amazing restaurants. In a nutshell, how awesome the date ends up is really determined by how awesome the guy that I'm with is.

[Enyo]

One day I went to the art museum and envisioned an idea for an shoot-em-up action sequence for a movie. It's not the action sequence idea itself that intrigued me, but rather the idea of priceless works of art being destroyed. I love to destroy! I'm the destroyer!!!

You might not want to share the love of destruction on the first date. Unless, you know, she's into that.

[Lateralus]

Watching the Discovery Channel has worked for me in the past.

[dnivera]

I went graveyard rubbing in summer camp once. (It's not dirty, pervs.) You know...when you take white paper, put it on top of an old, historic tombstone and shade over it with charcoal pencils to capture the art and ornamentation? It's an educational, historical and fun kind of thing to do. Visit an old cemetery and you can see some pretty marvelous tombstones. I got pretty somber and introspective on that trip so it might not be great for a first date, unless you go somewhere light afterward.

Zoos and museums are good. So is any kind of exploring a new part of town or sightseeing, because you get to walk and talk. Movies, not so much, because you don't get to know each other very well while you stare at a huge screen. I actually like arcades and Dave & Buster's type places because they're fun and get you laughing, even at my age.

[disregard]

Smoking hookah together in private and talking all night long.
Going for a hike.
Playing tennis.
Dinner at a restaurant.
Getting drunk and playing cards/chess/etc.
Going for a walk along the beach (it's not as corny as it sounds. hmph!)
Sharing a bottle of wine at a pretty park at night. (Like Bluebird Park :wubbie:)

There are tons of things to do.

Ahh, romance! *sigh* :D

[Uberfuhrer]

I live around Lake Erie. Going for a walk along the beach there would not be the most romantic evening.

[whatever]

^ were she a dedicated fan of horror movies it might be! :D

[Enyo]

Watching the Discovery Channel has worked for me in the past.

Yeah, that's always a fun one, too. I've always enjoyed dates that have a certain amount of curling up together on the couch. (But not necessarily getting naked on the couch, Jack Flak!)

[disregard]

Haha.. with the right attitude, even a date disaster can be fun.

Here's a story:

A guy I was dating, for our first date, took me to their 90 acre ranch. We get the firewood, get the alcohol, make the long drive...

AND HE FORGETS THE HOUSE KEYS.

Oh, but we'll light a fire in the fire pit! It will still be fun! I say.

"I forgot matches too."

Well, at least we have this alcohol.

*I take a sip*

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

"Uh.. I think that's sherry. sorry. i just grabbed anything"

*I spit it out and laugh at the hopelessness of our night gone all wrong.*

But we hung out and talked for hours looking at the great view of the city lights & stars from there.

You don't need an event, a place, or "things" to make a good date. You just need the right attitude.

[Enyo]

I live around Lake Erie. Going for a walk along the beach there would not be the most romantic evening.

No? What's the "beach" like there? If it's a rocky beach, then skipping rocks with a campfire nearby may be a worthwhile experience.

[nottaprettygal]

So Uber. . . who is the lucky girl?

I like all of disregard's ideas personally.

I would avoid art galleries unless it's a weird alternative gallery. Too stuffy. Too many naked sculptures to make yourself feel inadequate.

[Uberfuhrer]

So Uber. . . who is the lucky girl?

I'm just planning ahead...contingency planning.

I like all of disregard's ideas personally.

Yeah, I do, as well. But I think her username may be trying to tell me something...

I would avoid art galleries unless it's a weird alternative gallery. Too stuffy.

Speaking of stuffy, I wonder if they exhibit taxidermy displays at some art galleries? Or maybe I should just take her to one of those teddy bear building shops at the mall?

Too many naked sculptures to make yourself feel inadequate.

Yeah, those sculptures get really hard and stay that way.

[ThatGirl]

So Uber. . . who is the lucky girl?

I like all of disregard's ideas personally.

I would avoid art galleries unless it's a weird alternative gallery. Too stuffy. Too many naked sculptures to make yourself feel inadequate.

LOL! That just reminded me of the 20ft tall statue of david, in ceasers palace, vegas

[whatever]

:laugh: it totally depends on who you're with as to whether an art museum will be fun or not- I went with an ENFJ who obsessed with the details of the experience and was no fun, with an ESFP it was quite fun because we made jokes about why on earth someone would paint a pic of that hideous looking woman with 3 chins and a really bad hairstyle :)

Never go somewhere serious with someone who will make it all boring *shakes head*

Of course I'm fine sitting on the back porch with a case of beer watching the planes land at the airport a few miles away... the conversation is the most important part :D

[Uberfuhrer]

LOL! That just reminded me of the 20ft tall statue of david, in ceasers palace, vegas

What about that statue in The Goonies? :eek:

[Enyo]

Speaking of stuffy, I wonder if they do taxidermy at some art galleries? Or maybe I should just take her to one of those teddy bear building shops at the mall?

*winces* It's sweet, but I wouldn't unless you're the kind of guy to show up with flowers at the door. In all of my extensive pre-marital dating career, I've only dated one guy that could have pulled that off.

That's something better for a later date, like a one month anniversary kind of thing. Then it's a cute little momento.

[Metamorphosis]

gun range

if they don't like that, they aren't a keeper anyways ;)

[sanveane]

Er, feel free to disregard this but since it's the first date and all, the only suggestion I have is not to pick somewhere too deserted. Some girls may balk at that until they know you better because it might not feel safe. (I'm presuming you don't know this person yet)... and good luck!

EDIT: Ok I feel like a killjoy, maybe if you do pick somewhere pretty isolated have a backup in case she's not comfortable with that...

[Uberfuhrer]

gun range

if they don't like that, they aren't a keeper anyways ;)

Well I don't want to kill her on the first date.

Er, feel free to disregard this but since it's the first date and all, the only suggestion I have is not to pick somewhere too deserted. Some girls may balk at that until they know you better because it might not feel safe.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking all along.

Bowling may be fun. That's one "sport" I suck at and yet enjoy at the same time.

(I'm presuming you don't know this person yet)

This person doesn't even exist yet.

[sanveane]

Yeah pool is fun too but probably a little less accessible, I think a fun 'activity' date sounds good... then you're never lost for conversation.

[01011010]

I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?

I think graveyards are nifty, but I'm also a 5w4.

I was at a swimming party with my tennis team and I had no intentions of swimming or conversing. I went because my closest friend at the time was also forced to go since her mom put the party together. Needless to say, we didn't even bring swimsuits and there was an old graveyard nearby. We climbed the fence around the graveyard and spent the duration of the time analyzing the info on the tombstones.

Date ideas:

Picnic
Movie at home
Cook Dinner
Science Museum
Art Show
Book Reading

[Uberfuhrer]

Although bowling is a bit more of a common dating activity for today's youth.

Perhaps I should be a little more original.

[Oberon]

What are some good first date ideas?

Bathe, use deodorant, and brush your teeth.

All good ideas if you're preparing for a first date... or any date for that matter.

[Oberon]

*winces* It's sweet, but I wouldn't unless you're the kind of guy to show up with flowers at the door. In all of my extensive pre-marital dating career, I've only dated one guy that could have pulled that off.


However, the potted venus flytrap is often a hit. :D

[ceecee]

Why not ask your hypothetical first date what she would like to do.

[Bella]

Why not ask your hypothetical first date what she would like to do.

'I don't know, what do youuuuu want to do?'

'No you decide, what do youuuuu want to do?'

[Uberfuhrer]

Why not ask your hypothetical first date what she would like to do.

Because that is called schizophrenia.

[Oberon]

Why not ask your hypothetical first date what she would like to do.

That's no good. All my hypothetical first dates ever wanted to do was stay home on the couch and... well, you know.

Real first dates require more imagination.

[Uberfuhrer]

Real first dates require more imagination.

It's just that my more imaginative dating ideas are either hopelessly unrealistic (given my circumstances) or will get me thrown in jail. I won't get the kind of sex I want that way.

[Mighty Mouse]

A good first date is when he plans something I have mentioned I enjoy.

In this case we both win. He gets credit for being thoughtful. I get to share with him something I enjoy.

[Kyrielle]

While that isn't a bad idea, in theory, a girl would probably dump me if she ever read my posts here.

Amusement parks were on my list for date ideas, but they are only open during the summer.

I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?

Yes! But then I'm an expectionally odd non-Goth chick who finds the idea intensely amusing. Mostly it's nice because 1) it's quiet, 2) people generally tend to leave you alone, and 3) it's never empty and always full of people. *grin* I know other girls who don't think it's too strange to go relax in a graveyard who also are not particularly gothy. They tend to be (from my experience) the type that like anime/comics/games and/or are reasonably open-minded on the whole.

[booya moon]

Actually, a date on a graveyard could be very romantic (I have been on one). Here in Europe on the All Saints day (1st November), it is a tradition to light the candles on the graves of relatives. So, if you go to the graveyard on the evening of 1st of November everything is alight with hundreds of candles - really beautiful.
A date idea for you: Quiet evening at home, watching Romero`s Dead trilogy :D

[Uberfuhrer]

A date idea for you: Quiet evening at home, watching Romero`s Dead trilogy :D

I know movies. And the Living Dead movies should only loosely be considered movies.

Besides, I'd feel uncomfortable letting a girl into my home. Too much humiliation.

[Hmm]

A date in a graveyard? Yikes! *scared*

I like to go play on the swings at night in a park.

[Beat]

Actually, a date on a graveyard could be very romantic (I have been on one). Here in Europe on the All Saints day (1st November), it is a tradition to light the candles on the graves of relatives. So, if you go to the graveyard on the evening of 1st of November everything is alight with hundreds of candles - really beautiful.
A date idea for you: Quiet evening at home, watching Romero`s Dead trilogy :D
So basically Uber, unless you wait until November 1st and feel like taking this girl to Europe, I'd scratch the graveyard idea.

[Uberfuhrer]

A date in a graveyard? Yikes! *scared*

I like to go play on the swings at night in a park.

Well I was now officially rejected by all the girls I sent messages to at POF.com.

I'm starting to think that only a corpse would be willing to date me.

[Hmm]

Well I was now officially rejected by all the girls I sent messages to at POF.com.

I'm starting to think that only a corpse would be willing to date me.

It sounds like you want to date a corpse too. :shock:

Have you tried to look for goth dating sites? I bet they exist.

[Uberfuhrer]

It sounds like you want to date a corpse too. :shock:

No, just that they'd be willing to date me.

Have you tried to look for goth dating sites? I bet they exist.

Probably. But I'm not Goth so I would probably not actually fit in with that crowd.

[Beat]

Well I was now officially rejected by all the girls I sent messages to at POF.com.

I'm starting to think that only a corpse would be willing to date me.

Or just don't be hard on yourself when you see that an online person is not going to just jump up with glee at the thought of meeting another anonymous person.

[Hmm]

Uber, for you I think meeting people offline > online.

[Uberfuhrer]

Uber, for you I think meeting people offline > online.

What makes offline better than online?

[Falcarius]

Any where one and their date feels comfortable. So you will have to take Auschwitz off your list, Falcarius is very sorry Mr Uberfuhrer.:devil:

Falcarius' best and first real date was a picnic. He sometimes wonders if he was not in denial about being in love with someone else if it would have worked out better.:doh:

[Enyo]

Well I was now officially rejected by all the girls I sent messages to at POF.com.

I'm starting to think that only a corpse would be willing to date me.

Maybe you're looking in the wrong places? Or maybe it's just because you're seeking it?

I've never hunted for a boyfriend. It just worked out. Maybe a better thread for you would be asking how you've met SO's. Not necessarily the current one, but SO's period.

I've met lots of my dates in such random ways that it's just essence of insanity. And it was never in a bar or dating site.

[Uberfuhrer]

Maybe you're looking in the wrong places? Or maybe it's just because you're seeking it?

I've never hunted for a boyfriend. It just worked out. Maybe a better thread for you would be asking how you've met SO's. Not necessarily the current one, but SO's period.

I've met lots of my dates in such random ways that it's just essence of insanity. And it was never in a bar or dating site.

I already created a thread about that.

[Enyo]

What makes offline better than online?

There are little quirks that people have that may seem stupid or inconsequential online. IRL, those little quirks are visible and sometimes adorable.

There are some things about meeting IRL that can be a tool of attraction.

One of my exes was just... well, that man was a god. What attracted him to me was my confidence (which, on that occasion, bordered on arrogance). That level of body language would not have conveyed the same way online.

My ex the Romanian musician had these amazing hands...

The soldier boy had this amazing smile.

The high school sweetheart was intensely sweet and romantic.

Another one had a phenomenal body.

None of these things are things that would have gained my attention on line. Except maybe the god, but *I* wouldn't have gotten his attention online. He was much prettier than me.

[Enyo]

I already created a thread about that.

Did you? Okay, I have a good memory; it's just short.

Seriously, though, I met one guy while I was out shopping at the hardware store for stuff for work. He helped me with a sheet of plywood, of all things.

I dated two guys I went to high school with after high school was over. One of them became my study buddy in a college class, while the other one came into the store that I worked at and we started talking again.

Another guy lived in my apartment complex. There was a party at his apartment, and I was invited in.

Someone else I met while on a photography trip to the historical district in Tampa. (I got irritated with "woo-hoo" and "hey, baby", and this guy popped up and walked with me for a while, which kept the random catcalls at a minimum.)

Another guy got an item off of a high shelf for me.

Seriously, most of it was random, and it was so much fun.

[Uberfuhrer]

There are little quirks that people have that may seem stupid or inconsequential online. IRL, those little quirks are visible and sometimes adorable.

There are some things about meeting IRL that can be a tool of attraction.

One of my exes was just... well, that man was a god. What attracted him to me was my confidence (which, on that occasion, bordered on arrogance). That level of body language would not have conveyed the same way online.

My ex the Romanian musician had these amazing hands...

The soldier boy had this amazing smile.

The high school sweetheart was intensely sweet and romantic.

Another one had a phenomenal body.

None of these things are things that would have gained my attention on line. Except maybe the god, but *I* wouldn't have gotten his attention online. He was much prettier than me.

And yet the relationships still ended.

The online dating was more for if women would be willing to give me a chance. I'm sort of thinking the fact that I don't own a car is a turn-off for women, or there is something wrong with my looks. Because there is nothing in my profile that implies that I'm whiny and insecure.

I just don't know where to meet people in the real world. I also have no one in the real world to help me with my predicament.

I am not good with spontaneity. For me, everything needs to be planned.

[Jeffster]

i like how you think! however, i realized that even though i love movies they dont make good first (or second, or third) dates because you don't get much time to talk.


See, I hear people say that all the time, and I completely disagree. Movies are good for that exact reason. You don't have any pressure of trying to make awkward conversation. You spend time with someone and get a feel for their reactions to things. Make it a comedy, though. Too heavy stuff and you walk out all dazed. You can always go somewhere to talk after the movie. If it was good, you have something to start off talking about. If it sucked, you can talk about how terrible it is. You can compare to other movies you've seen, and the characters to people you each know in real life, and go from there. I have done this several times and it almost always went well. Bada bing.

[Nocapszy]

Question for Uber:

What kind of shit do you like?
Else of video games.

Maybe you like monster trucks? I doubt you're into baseball...
Are you a loud mother fucker in real life?

[Mondo]

Unless you or your date is uber-introverted, I would recommend a concert.

If you are both gaming freaks, the two of you may have fun testing your skills on each other.
However, there aren't too many females out there who are good at videogames.

[disregard]

And yet the relationships still ended.

What's your point?

[Enyo]

And yet the relationships still ended.

The online dating was more for if women would be willing to give me a chance. I'm sort of thinking the fact that I don't own a car is a turn-off for women, or there is something wrong with my looks. Because there is nothing in my profile that implies that I'm whiny and insecure.

I just don't know where to meet people in the real world. I also have no one in the real world to help me with my predicament.

I am not good with spontaneity. For me, everything needs to be planned.

Are you looking for a long-term relationship, or are you looking for a good time. I have to admit, all of those previous relationships that ended (with the exception of my army boy) came at a point when I wasn't looking for a guy to be with for long, but a guy to be with for fun.

Not owning a car? Well, that was next to impossible where I lived in Florida (no public transit at that time; the town was just too small), but if you live in a place with a decent public transit system, that's not really a deal-breaker. Plus, you can spin the lack of automobile into a "preference for a greener lifestyle" instead of "I'm broke."

As for meeting people in the real world, what do you do? Do you go to school? Do you work? Do you hang out anywhere (other than the local graveyard)?

As for your looks, I've never seen a pic of you, so I can't speak to that. Nor have I seen your profile. Maybe have one of the members on here that knows you better look over it and help you tweak it?

And what do you mean by needing to plan everything? Do you have to sit back and think of a strategy before you approach a girl, and miss the moment?

[Uberfuhrer]

Question for Uber:

What kind of shit do you like?
Else of video games.

Maybe you like monster trucks? I doubt you're into baseball...
Are you a loud mother fucker in real life?

Well, I like movies (analyzing them, especially). I like to write but I'm out of ideas or the ideas I have I just can't write down very well or fit them into a story (lately, they're vague and random). I like Internet surfing (obviously). My life pretty much consists of being around a computer; I'm rather addicted...and I need a way out of it.

As for loudness, people say I'm exuberant in real life, but it mostly consists of me talking about my random off-the-wall ideas. My interaction with others is very limited to family members, seeing how I don't have friends. And I just don't know what to do to change this. A part of me is afraid of leaving old habits, and I need a reason on the outside world that will draw me out of those habits and get my life back on track.

I don't know if these problems are unique to me, but I sort of wish I can find someone who identifies with me.

Unless you or your date is uber-introverted, I would recommend a concert.

If you are both gaming freaks, the two of you may have fun testing your skills on each other.
However, there aren't too many females out there who are good at videogames.

I don't think a concert would be good for me. I don't like loud noises. And my interest in music is casual, not passionate. Right now, my interests, period, are very casual (even movies and video games), for some reason. I just can't concentrate on things anymore. I merely express these interests so that I can appear interested in something.

My interests used to be deeper, but now I feel scattered and don't really know what I want or need.

[dnivera]

Unless you or your date is uber-introverted, I would recommend a concert.

If you are both gaming freaks, the two of you may have fun testing your skills on each other.
However, there aren't too many females out there who are good at videogames.

Women enjoy and are skilled at video games in just as high frequency as men. You just have to :find: us. I will never turn down a gaming invitation, even if it's something I've never played.

[file cabinet]

I just don't know where to meet people in the real world. I also have no one in the real world to help me with my predicament.

how about dramatically increasing the number of people you expose yourself to. an example of doing this would be by going joining a club / interest group / etc. interested in politics? join some politic group. interested in cats? volunteer at the pet shelter. of course, you won't like every person you meet but it creates more ideal social and situational factors of meeting/interacting with someone new.

[Uberfuhrer]

As for meeting people in the real world, what do you do? Do you go to school? Do you work? Do you hang out anywhere (other than the local graveyard)?

I stopped going to school because I wasn't getting anywhere. As for work, I haven't been able to land a job in over two years, despite several interviews and dozens more applications. I'm now on disability, because I have a mental condition that qualifies, and that way, I'd still be getting money. I'm a recluse (I don't even hang out at graveyards, honestly), but now I'm becoming aware that most people are not like this, and I want to get out of this situation, but it's hard for me.

As for your looks, I've never seen a pic of you, so I can't speak to that. Nor have I seen your profile. Maybe have one of the members on here that knows you better look over it and help you tweak it?

I have a photo album with pictures of me. And I also have pics of me in the picture thread. (Go to the pics only thread for easier access.)

And what do you mean by needing to plan everything? Do you have to sit back and think of a strategy before you approach a girl, and miss the moment?

Yes. The problem is that I've never been approached by a girl before or approached her, and I just want that. I don't know that it's really a date that I want, but rather the idea that someone was willing to date me. Really, after she said yes, I could just say that I wasn't being serious, but it would be the idea that she was willing that would satisfy me.

[Enyo]

Yes. The problem is that I've never been approached by a girl before or approached her, and I just want that. I don't know that it's really a date that I want, but rather the idea that someone was willing to date me. Really, after she said yes, I could just say that I wasn't being serious, but it would be the idea that she was willing that would satisfy me.

Okay, so I checked out the pics and I don't see anyone scary. :)

Maybe the best idea for you is (unless you have a social anxiety that prevents this) would be to start small. Leave your house every day, even it's just to go on a walk around the block.

Figure out what interests you. Honestly, if you're not happy with yourself (or at least aren't comfortable with marketing some aspect of yourself), it will make dating difficult.

You know what the secret to my success was with all of the random things that turned into dates? Confidence. When I was talking to that guy, there was no doubt in my mind that I was the hottest thing out there. (Yes, I know that, in reality, there are better looking women out there than me. But the confidence that comes from feeling like the most incredible thing? That can't be topped.)

On your walks (if you take them), if you see a woman struggling with a large package, offer to help her. Smile at passersby.

But I guess the main two things are 1.) back awaaay from the computer and 2.) figure out what you love. Find your bliss, and then you'll have a better chance at meeting a girl who shares that bliss.

[Uberfuhrer]

I think we've derailed the thread. I answered this question in my blog (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nt-blogs/1479-bercomputer-102.html#post330410).

Someone carry on with dating ideas...

[Nocapszy]

Well your problem is obvious: you don't know what a date ought to constitute cause you only know how to play single player games.

Can't even read a simple question well enough. No wonder you don't get dates.

A lot of men say women are complicated. Theyre not. Men aren't either. Both men and women are idiots. Keep this in mind and you'll always reign the relationship.
Apparently, I've discovered, it's rather attractive to have a detached or even benignly hostile demeanor.

Lucky me. Lucky you. We're naturals you and I.
Difference is, I had the insight to figure that they like this 'cause it makes them feel like they're some kind of sleuth... like they're playing private eye, searching for that one tender spot, so they can get a damned crow bar and open you up.

Trouble is with me, and likely you, is that it's a dangerous something to do, and on some unconscious level, both you and I don't allow it possibly because there really is something worth protecting, or we're scared of being opened up and finding nothing... doesn't really matter which, because you can use this to your advantage.

Pretend. Do your natural act, like I'm sure you do, and watch for signs.. I don't know what to tell you to look for.

Trust me dude, venue doesnt matter much when you're a contemplative asshole/prick (I think people want to be a part of what they misperceive as mysteriousness, when it's actually just veiled anxiety). Unless you're trying to bag an ES__, in which case I'll spare myself the time later and laugh at you now.

[Bella]

...uncomfortably true....

[EffEmDoubleyou]

My favorite first date is getting married at an Elvis chapel in Vegas.

[Bella]

LOL!

[Jack Flak]

My favorite first date is getting married at an Elvis chapel in Vegas.
I would just about do that, depending on the girl of course. Devil may care, man.

[Mondo]

Women enjoy and are skilled at video games in just as high frequency as men. You just have to :find: us. I will never turn down a gaming invitation, even if it's something I've never played.

Awesome! I was pretty sure there had to be some gaming girls out there, :D!
None of the girls would play Smash Bros with us in my freshman dorm though..

[Uytuun]

Ask Jack Flack to come along for entertainment.

[Jack Flak]

Ask Jack Flack to come along for entertainment.
You're too kind. *fears attention; crawls back into hiding*

[Hmm]

My favorite first date is getting married at an Elvis chapel in Vegas.

I would just about do that, depending on the girl of course. Devil may care, man.

Me too. That's why I need a guy who is the opposite of me to balance that part of me out.

[CzeCze]

I think if you want to buck convention and make sure there's some interest -- find an interesting and unique activity in a public space (so sorry Jack and Jeffster) like doing a corn maze (I did that one year), pumpkin carving (it's seasonal...seasonal = unique), a renaissance fair, a flea market, etc. Take a class together or do one of those pottery painting sessions.

Basically, pick something that diverts/takes enough of your attention that you don't feel nervous or feel at a loss of things to say. And if you're having fun and enjoying yourself, that's 1/2 the dating battle!

I'd recommend the whole 'walking and talking' thing only for random dry runs (like a blind date) or if you're going on a date with someone who you know you have good chemistry with. Or for whatever reason you want to pick their brains and "get to know them" better and all that sissy stuff. :sick:

LOL.

[Oberon]

Me too. That's why I need a guy who is the opposite of me to balance that part of me out.

So, the only guy you'd marry in an Elvis chapel in Vegas would be a guy who would never do that? :huh:

[kyuuei]

I suggest playing The Last Night on Earth Zombie boardgame, taco bell, a movie, a debate about which Final Fantasy was better, and playing around on You Tube.. :D I liked that night! .. wait.. what was the question?

[Jack Flak]

I suggest playing The Last Night on Earth Zombie boardgame, taco bell, a movie, a debate about which Final Fantasy was better, and playing around on You Tube.. :D I liked that night! .. wait.. what was the question?
I could get my head around that, I think. As long as it wasn't planned, which if it was, those are some wacked out plans, hehehe.

[Hmm]

So, the only guy you'd marry in an Elvis chapel in Vegas would be a guy who would never do that? :huh:

I totally would elope. I think it's romantic. :wubbie: But most people seem to think it's a stupid idea so they're probably right.

[EffEmDoubleyou]

Eloping is romantic, but I understand why people want their wedding to be a big deal. That's why I've sort of decided that if I marry I want to plan a normal wedding, but secretly exchange vows with my fiance a few days beforehand. Then only we would know our real anniversary. I think that's romantic, especially if you do your stealth wedding in a location important to your relationship.

[Beat]

I totally would elope. I think it's romantic. :wubbie: But most people seem to think it's a stupid idea so they're probably right.

This is actually what I'd want to do as well.

[Magic Poriferan]

I totally would elope. I think it's romantic. :wubbie: But most people seem to think it's a stupid idea so they're probably right.

Doesn't sound like such a bad idea to me. I certainly wouldn't want a "normal" wedding like so many people have. Ack.

[kyuuei]

I could get my head around that, I think. As long as it wasn't planned, which if it was, those are some wacked out plans, hehehe.

Not planned per-say, it was more of a "Hey lets watch a movie. OOoo! Zombies!" night. ^-^b

[helen]

I totally would elope. I think it's romantic. :wubbie: But most people seem to think it's a stupid idea so they're probably right.

I don't much like the idea of a wedding either. But I want all the presents! Cheese graters and dish towels and stuff can be pretty useful.

[Nocapszy]

I suggest playing The Last Night on Earth Zombie boardgame, taco bell, a movie, a debate about which Final Fantasy was better, and playing around on You Tube.. :D I liked that night! .. wait.. what was the question?

The question was, "Which dead, black comedian was best?"

Final Fantasy -- shit. You keep diverting like this and you'll be fired just like Uber.

[Cimarron]

Eloping is romantic, but I understand why people want their wedding to be a big deal. That's why I've sort of decided that if I marry I want to plan a normal wedding, but secretly exchange vows with my fiance a few days beforehand. Then only we would know our real anniversary. I think that's romantic, especially if you do your stealth wedding in a location important to your relationship.
Hey, that's a pretty good idea. :yes: It seems like a good way to keep everyone happy. I may have to keep that in mind.

[Uberfuhrer]

The question was, "Which dead, black comedian was best?"

Final Fantasy -- shit. You keep diverting like this and you'll be fired just like Uber.

The problem with Final Fantasy is that it was never final.

(I'm already fired -- I can now say whatever the hell I want!)

[Jack Flak]

Uberfuhrer makes an excellent point.

[Enyo]

I totally would elope. I think it's romantic. :wubbie: But most people seem to think it's a stupid idea so they're probably right.

My husband and I didn't exactly elope, but the wedding was definitely quick and simple. We spent a few months playing musical dates, musical locations, and even musical countries. (His country or mine?)

We went to his best friend's wedding, which was huge and elaborate and everything that I absolutely didn't want. So the husband kept getting all of these ideas for big things. I nipped that in the bud by saying "Let's just get married now."

So we were married in 8 days, complete with the white dress, small ceremony in the park, and a small reception at a local restaurant that we all liked. (I was fine with a JP and grabbing two joggers in the park as witnesses. He wanted the white dress, the flowers, and all that, plus for his parents to be there, which I never thought was all that fair, since my parents wouldn't be.)

[GargoylesLegacy]

Hm, actually this is a very good Thread. ^^

Normally my Standards are: going to the Rhine (basically take a Walk and sit down somewhere to see the Nightskies, Lights, Stars, hear the Water, feel the Wind...IDK, it's great out at Night), going to this great italian Ice-Cafe here around the Edge, go to a Theme-Park, Dinner or Anything like that...oh and also...since you mentioned this
I just wish I could find a Goth chick who will go out with me and we can spend the evening having a romantic conversation in a graveyard. Do non-Goth chicks like that idea for a first date?
I actually do that! I mean seriously! I would seriously take People to the Graveyard if I know they like it. Because I sure do! *lol*
I seriously don't mind being there (as in: I am not being grossed out by it).
But normally I bring up that Subject only if I already know the other Person is fine with that. I don't need Anyone to think that I am uh...weird. At least not THAT kind of weird :D

In any Way...in the End I kinda plan the Dates individually, depending on the Person, really. There is no such Thing as "general Date for Everyone". I like to use the other Persons Interests to make a good and individual Date for them.