View Full Version : The downside to rarely dating...
Getting too hopeful and fixated when a potential comes along.
Discuss. Is there anything to discuss?
phoenix13
09-22-2008, 11:14 PM
Getting too hopeful and fixated when a potential comes along.
Discuss. Is there anything to discuss?
Did someone have a failed date?
There are many many downsides to rarely dating/general inexperience. Would you like us to discuss what those are? I'm an expert ;).
Jack Flak
09-22-2008, 11:14 PM
Practice makes perfect, so without practice, you ain't perfect.
runvardh
09-22-2008, 11:14 PM
Spending too much time worrying about not seeming desperate that the worrying itself scares the girls away. :doh:
ThatGirl
09-22-2008, 11:18 PM
Trying to freak out complete strangers on an internet forum to pass the time.
Damn I need man shoulders.
Silently Honest
09-22-2008, 11:20 PM
Did someone have a failed date?
There are many many downsides to rarely dating/general inexperience. Would you like us to discuss what those are? I'm an expert ;).
Getting too hopeful and fixated when a potential comes along.
Discuss. Is there anything to discuss?
Now, I'm not sure pheonix, but I think he does, God help him I think he does.
:D
Did someone have a failed date?
No, actually. However, along came a spider and I'm already preparing for things to go downhill. I am getting my hopes up naturally and thinking of the positive "what ifs", I don't want to though.
There are many many downsides to rarely dating/general inexperience. Would you like us to discuss what those are? I'm an expert ;).
Surely.
Edahn
09-22-2008, 11:22 PM
Discuss. Is there anything to discuss?
An interesting question.
Is there ever anything left to discuss, one might ask? Has not everything already been discussed at one point? Are we simply repeating ourselves like senescent androids, deaf to the echoes that reverberate through our consciousness? Is it possible to meaningfully add to the infinite? Does not infinity plus one still equal infinity? Where did that one come from? Was it extracted from the infinite?
Good question, Beat.
Jack Flak
09-22-2008, 11:24 PM
This sounds like it could turn into a real discussion.
^Good questions.
*moves thread to philosophy section with my mind*
Just to play the devils advocate...... from what I've seen people who date a lot become disenchanted/jaded/bitter quicker. They also can pick up a lot of unattractive habits that become close to impossible to correct.
Uberfuhrer
09-22-2008, 11:31 PM
Can IMing with a potential significant other be considered a date?
Jack Flak
09-22-2008, 11:31 PM
No. (Plus 1,000 more periods)
Can IMing with a potential significant other be considered a date?
I'm going to say no.
However did you *light the candles* and *hand her a rose*?
disregard
09-22-2008, 11:36 PM
All things have a down and an up-side.
Jack Flak
09-22-2008, 11:36 PM
You can, however, get very extravagant with ease on the Tubes as opposed to real life, thus possibly seriously impressing the object of your affection.
Such as: *Paris vacation, 71 degrees, partially cloudy, with chance of rainbows*
Edahn
09-22-2008, 11:37 PM
When you don't date a lot, you lose hope that you'll find someone, and you conjure up rescue fantasies, thinking that your misery is a result of not finding the perfect person rather than your presentation, social skills, and most importantly, your level of self-comfort (which has a way of adjusting the former two). When you meet someone with potential, you identify them as this possible rescuer and get really excited. Of course, that only causes more problems in the end because your expectations race ahead of the natural comfort level of the relationship and often end up sabotaging what you might legitimately have had. I used to do this a lot. I think the key (for reasons I can articulate, but won't) has to do with being kind to yourself when you see yourself struggling to find completion and assuage your loneliness.
I think the key (for reasons I can articulate, but won't) has to do with being kind to yourself when you see yourself struggling to find completion and assuage your loneliness.
Easier said than done, no?
Uberfuhrer
09-22-2008, 11:39 PM
No. (Plus 1,000 more periods)
Everyone tells me that period sex ain't bad.
*Debates magnitude of FAIL*.........
Ok, you win this time.
Edahn
09-22-2008, 11:47 PM
Easier said than done, no?
Easier done than said, it's just that people are unwilling to accept themselves without conditions. They're more apt to accept their potential than who they are right now. It's not hard; just do it. Try it for the next 5 minutes.
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
whatever
09-22-2008, 11:54 PM
the downside of even appearing single around here? getting asked out every f--ing time you go into public! There's nothing more annoying than getting a "hey baby- you married?" while you're trying to mind your own business in the grociery store :steam:
especially when you are involved with someone and they're out of the country :dry:
** sorry- that minor rant was coming **
disregard
09-22-2008, 11:59 PM
All things have a down and an up-side.
What is this pseudo-sagacious prattle..?
Let me try this again:
There can be no downside to being true to your nature and only dating people that capture your genuine intrigue.
How you prevent from getting down on yourself when you rarely date is by keeping busy with hobbies you enjoy. And when you do finally meet someone you. just. have. to. chill. out. and not get too far ahead of yourself. This takes thinking and effort.
spirilis
09-23-2008, 12:10 AM
How you prevent from getting down on yourself when you rarely date is by keeping busy with hobbies you enjoy. And when you do finally meet someone you. just. have. to. chill. out. and not get too far ahead of yourself. This takes thinking and effort.
:nice: I can say the "lots of hobbies" method is working for me so far. It's sometimes toxic to the wallet though :D
What if one of your hobbies is hoping you run into the right person?
Doubly fucked.
runvardh
09-23-2008, 12:12 AM
What if one of your hobbies is hoping you run into the right person?
Doubly fucked.
That's when you reasses your hobby list and seek additions.
Grayscale
09-23-2008, 12:13 AM
you guys think too much about this.
you dont even want me to tell you what harm one-sided or incomplete overthinking can cause... :dry:
anyways, it's all good, what happens happens right?
runvardh
09-23-2008, 12:17 AM
you guys think too much about this.
you dont even want me to tell you what harm one-sided or incomplete overthinking can cause... :dry:
anyways, it's all good, what happens happens right?
I find it's a balancing act for me: think too much and no girls show up; think too little and the worst girl in the neighbourhood is telling you she's pregnant with your baby.
whatever
09-23-2008, 12:19 AM
:nice: I can say the "lots of hobbies" method is working for me so far. It's sometimes toxic to the wallet though :D
:laugh: so is dating my good man!!!
:devil:
(toxic to the wallet, that is!)
How many of those babies do you got runvardh?
runvardh
09-23-2008, 12:23 AM
How many of those babies do you got runvardh?
None, one misscarrage and one abortion, two different girls.
Are you joking like I was?
spirilis
09-23-2008, 12:24 AM
:laugh: so is dating my good man!!!
:devil:
(toxic to the wallet, that is!)
:D touche!
runvardh
09-23-2008, 12:26 AM
Are you joking like I was?
Nope. Funny thing is, I feel worse about the loss than I do about the fact that they happened.
*watches as the thread dies*
Jack Flak
09-23-2008, 12:29 AM
runvardh: "The Killer"
runvardh
09-23-2008, 12:31 AM
runvardh: "The Killer"
:angry:
Bella
09-23-2008, 12:46 AM
The cold sweat I will most definitely break in to, as soon I sit down opposite the poor thing for the first time and realize I have to talk now....
JivinJeffJones
09-23-2008, 12:56 AM
Easier done than said, it's just that people are unwilling to accept themselves without conditions. They're more apt to accept their potential than who they are right now. It's not hard; just do it. Try it for the next 5 minutes.
I was just thinking about this tonight in the context of the cult of self-esteem. I really don't think self-acceptance should be unconditional. Maybe it's the Fi talking, but sometimes I think it's reasonable and appropriate to have low self-esteem, even though it's unattractive and uncomfortable. I guess it depends on your values - your ability to write off your shortcomings. I'm pretty sure sociopaths, for instance, have excellent self-esteem.
Of course, self-esteem and self-acceptance aren't identical.
Edahn
09-23-2008, 01:12 AM
I was just thinking about this tonight in the context of the cult of self-esteem. I really don't think self-acceptance should be unconditional. Maybe it's the Fi talking, but sometimes I think it's reasonable and appropriate to have low self-esteem, even though it's unattractive and uncomfortable. I guess it depends on your values - your ability to write off your shortcomings. I'm pretty sure sociopaths, for instance, have excellent self-esteem.
Of course, self-esteem and self-acceptance aren't identical.
That last sentence I think is the most important. If you already have low self-esteem, that's fine. Acceptance means you agree to see things as they are and take a break from trying to change them. It doesn't mean you have to change your self-esteem at all.
The cult of self-esteem is something I've thought about too. The irony is that people are told via the media and via friends that they MUST be confident, and that leaves people just feeling that something is wrong with them for not being confident. So, they end up trying to force themselves into artificial feelings and mindsets that resemble confidence instead of accepting the mediocrity of their present situation with empathy.
heart
09-23-2008, 01:14 AM
I was just thinking about this tonight in the context of the cult of self-esteem. I really don't think self-acceptance should be unconditional. Maybe it's the Fi talking, but sometimes I think it's reasonable and appropriate to have low self-esteem, even though it's unattractive and uncomfortable. I guess it depends on your values - your ability to write off your shortcomings. I'm pretty sure sociopaths, for instance, have excellent self-esteem.
Of course, self-esteem and self-acceptance aren't identical.
Excellent points.
Sub-Topic:
Ladies, what do you find most attractive in mannerisms when you initially find a new person? Few words and mysterious or charming and somewhat outspoken?
(this is not meant to derail the main subject. I just don't want to clutter the boards with new threads.)
Silently Honest
09-23-2008, 01:24 AM
you guys think too much about this.
you dont even want me to tell you what harm one-sided or incomplete overthinking can cause... :dry:
anyways, it's all good, what happens happens right?
Listen to this man. He speaks wisdom.
Kaizer
09-23-2008, 01:37 AM
How you prevent from getting down on yourself when you rarely date is by keeping busy with hobbies you enjoy. And when you do finally meet someone you. just. have. to. chill. out. and not get too far ahead of yourself. This takes thinking and effort.
yes but I thought that the This takes thinking and effort.bit was so that a person didn't 'think' and 'make an effort' with the natural outcome that they are who they are.. no accouterments, no put ons... plain and simple themselves.
Or is that the combined force of the I & the N with the T taking over? or is it simply a case of efficiency and indulgence overload? :doh:
Bella
09-23-2008, 01:45 AM
Sub-Topic:
Ladies, what do you find most attractive in mannerisms when you initially find a new person? Few words and mysterious or charming and somewhat outspoken?
(this is not meant to derail the main subject. I just don't want to clutter the boards with new threads.)
Nah, this doesn't work. You think you like certain things and then end up being attracted to someone with none of the things on your list.
booyalab
09-23-2008, 02:20 AM
Getting too hopeful and fixated when a potential comes along.
Discuss. Is there anything to discuss?
Maybe you rarely date because you get so hopeful and fixated when a potential comes along. Look at it that way and it's not a downside.
ThatGirl
09-23-2008, 02:29 AM
When you don't date a lot, you lose hope that you'll find someone, and you conjure up rescue fantasies, thinking that your misery is a result of not finding the perfect person rather than your presentation, social skills, and most importantly, your level of self-comfort (which has a way of adjusting the former two). When you meet someone with potential, you identify them as this possible rescuer and get really excited. Of course, that only causes more problems in the end because your expectations race ahead of the natural comfort level of the relationship and often end up sabotaging what you might legitimately have had. I used to do this a lot. I think the key (for reasons I can articulate, but won't) has to do with being kind to yourself when you see yourself struggling to find completion and assuage your loneliness.
Edahn is wise
But, I dont think it necessarilly has to do with just the rescue fantasy. Prologned longing can lead to the same point without the want to be rescued. You can build of a foundation of things you would like to acomplish with the opposite sex and it doesn't necessarily have to be based on negitive or unhealthy fantasies, this alone is great, this with someone else different. Still you may get overly excieted with honest potential or overly critical.
I also think self esteem only plays the part you allow it to.
ThatGirl
09-23-2008, 02:43 AM
Sub-Topic:
Ladies, what do you find most attractive in mannerisms when you initially find a new person? Few words and mysterious or charming and somewhat outspoken?
(this is not meant to derail the main subject. I just don't want to clutter the boards with new threads.)
Inner confidence not cockyness
Not afraid to look stupid but a sense of control
enthusiasm and motivation
Believe it or not this all comes out in the mannerisms
Usehername
09-23-2008, 03:07 AM
Everyone tells me that period sex ain't bad.
Impressively good dirty joke, Uber. :)
phoenix13
09-23-2008, 04:02 AM
Sub-Topic:
Ladies, what do you find most attractive in mannerisms when you initially find a new person? Few words and mysterious or charming and somewhat outspoken?
(this is not meant to derail the main subject. I just don't want to clutter the boards with new threads.)
Hey, it's your thread, derail if you want to!
K, charming and outspoken puts me at ease... but the most attractive mannerisms are good manners (didn't see that one coming, eh?). It shows your mate that you know how to treat a woman, and that you respect her.
...but don't order her food for her. That's the one thing that's out-dated and vaguely insulting.
01011010
09-23-2008, 04:56 AM
I doubt everyone gets their hopes up too high. I'm the complete opposite. I wait around to see what someone's faults are and then assess whether or not they are acceptable to me. That's what dating is.
Jack Flak
09-23-2008, 05:24 AM
...but don't order her food for her. That's the one thing that's out-dated and vaguely insulting.
At least wait until you know either how picky she is or what she likes :)
Sub-Topic:
Ladies, what do you find most attractive in mannerisms when you initially find a new person? Few words and mysterious or charming and somewhat outspoken?
(this is not meant to derail the main subject. I just don't want to clutter the boards with new threads.)
I think it depends the person. If you're dealing with a "talker" then I'd say just let her talk and spend most of your time being a good listener. This kind starts talking a lot from the very beginning. If you're dealing with a "listener" (this one will be more on the quiet side) then you will have to carry the conversation until she feels more comfortable with you.
Oh, and I agree with the the ladies in this thread so far about what is attractive. However, it's hard to translate those notions for you into what to DO though (Sensors w00t!). I'll think about it and see what I can come up with.
yes but I thought that the bit was so that a person didn't 'think' and 'make an effort' with the natural outcome that they are who they are.. no accouterments, no put ons... plain and simple themselves.
Or is that the combined force of the I & the N with the T taking over? or is it simply a case of efficiency and indulgence overload? :doh:
Huh? :huh:
At least wait until you know either how picky she is or what she likes :)
True.... extra charming points for that. :)
Kaizer
09-23-2008, 06:41 AM
Huh? :huh:
To know oneself and not to present oneself in a certain light etc (even if to be 'accurate). hence not 'thinking and making an effort' or planning how to present oneself...basically its the natural v/s contrived way for time spent etc
Is it possible to meaningfully add to the infinite? Does not infinity plus one still equal infinity? Where did that one come from? Was it extracted from the infinite?
Whoa whoa what is this infinity you're talking about? What are you calling infinite?
Firelie
09-23-2008, 05:40 PM
When you don't date a lot, you lose hope that you'll find someone, and you conjure up rescue fantasies, thinking that your misery is a result of not finding the perfect person rather than your presentation, social skills, and most importantly, your level of self-comfort (which has a way of adjusting the former two). When you meet someone with potential, you identify them as this possible rescuer and get really excited. Of course, that only causes more problems in the end because your expectations race ahead of the natural comfort level of the relationship and often end up sabotaging what you might legitimately have had.
I've had guys try to turn me into that "rescuer" before, and it really isn't a fun way to conduct a relationship. Talk about pressure...
One literally wanted a rescue from his life (I think he thought I'd let him move in with me and we'd live happily ever after, or something ridiculous like that) and my last boyfriend told me, after I dumped him, that I'd been his "last chance at love" ...:shock:
This is THE most repellent behavior a guy can have, in my opinion.
Jack Flak
09-23-2008, 05:43 PM
You must be pretty fetching, Firelie. Save me pls?
PinkPiranha
09-23-2008, 05:52 PM
The rescue scenario is a turnoff. I've spent my entire life bailing other people out. No way will I voluntarily sign up for such a thing.
Beat, I think good manners is a very big plus. If I see "him" acting like a jerk to waiters/waitresses, calling his mother names, or generally treating children like they're radioactive waste, then I don't want to be with this person.
If he's introverted, he doesn't have to talk, but I do expect him to talk SOME. Having to carry a polite conversation alone is exhausting and dull. Sitting in silence is more than alright sometimes, but over dinner? Not really.
PinkPiranha
09-23-2008, 05:52 PM
The rescue scenario is a turnoff. I've spent my entire life bailing other people out. No way will I voluntarily sign up for such a thing.
Beat, I think good manners is a very big plus. If I see "him" acting like a jerk to waiters/waitresses, calling his mother names, or generally treating children like they're radioactive waste, then I don't want to be with this person.
If he's introverted, he doesn't have to talk, but I do expect him to talk SOME. Having to carry a polite conversation alone is exhausting and dull. Sitting in silence is more than alright sometimes, but over dinner? Not really.
Oberon
09-23-2008, 06:02 PM
the downside of even appearing single around here? getting asked out every f--ing time you go into public! There's nothing more annoying than getting a "hey baby- you married?" while you're trying to mind your own business in the grociery store :steam:
You know those guys are completely superficial, whatevs... because if they really knew you, they wouldn't be nearly so eager. :D
Firelie
09-23-2008, 06:05 PM
You must be pretty fetching, Firelie. Save me pls?
What can I say, I'm pretty effing awesome.
I wonder what it means when my first thought to the words "save me" is to imagine throwing somebody overboard from a cruise ship... :hi:
whatever
09-23-2008, 06:10 PM
You know those guys are completely superficial, whatevs... because if they really knew you, they wouldn't be nearly so eager. :D
Quite true- I'm much more attractive to the average male if I never speak... I open my mouth and my sanity is questioned :cry:
well, I guess the obvious solution to this problem is to talk continually, then I'm safe! :holy:
Oberon
09-23-2008, 06:10 PM
What can I say, I'm pretty effing awesome.
What can I say?
When you're right, you're right. :D
Were I looking for a companion, I would absolutely feign total indifference to you. :coffee:
PinkPiranha
09-23-2008, 06:17 PM
Quite true- I'm much more attractive to the average male if I never speak... I open my mouth and my sanity is questioned :cry:
well, I guess the obvious solution to this problem is to talk continually, then I'm safe! :holy:
To Paraguay! :hug:
whatever
09-23-2008, 06:19 PM
To Paraguay! :hug:
:D indeed... a wonderful safe place where noone will suspect us of insanity :holy: we'll inspire loyalty and fear instead of confusion!
Firelie
09-23-2008, 06:33 PM
Were I looking for a companion, I would absolutely feign total indifference to you. :coffee:
Oberon, I thought I asked you not to talk dirty to me in public...
PinkPiranha
09-23-2008, 06:37 PM
He can't help it. You're such a tasty little mooncow.
Oberon
09-23-2008, 06:50 PM
Oberon, I thought I asked you not to talk dirty to me in public...
Hmm? Oh, did you say something? :huh:
Tallulah
09-23-2008, 08:10 PM
I've had guys try to turn me into that "rescuer" before, and it really isn't a fun way to conduct a relationship. Talk about pressure...
One literally wanted a rescue from his life (I think he thought I'd let him move in with me and we'd live happily ever after, or something ridiculous like that) and my last boyfriend told me, after I dumped him, that I'd been his "last chance at love" ...:shock:
This is THE most repellent behavior a guy can have, in my opinion.
Ick, yeah.
the downside of even appearing single around here? getting asked out every f--ing time you go into public! There's nothing more annoying than getting a "hey baby- you married?" while you're trying to mind your own business in the grociery store :steam:
especially when you are involved with someone and they're out of the country :dry:
** sorry- that minor rant was coming **
Wear a ring.
runvardh
09-24-2008, 12:28 AM
:wtf: :wtf: :wtf:
I was prepared for the consiquences before even initiating the act, but apparantly I was the only one who had even thought that far in the situation.
Kaizer
09-24-2008, 12:37 AM
Wear a ring.
Classic! concrete advice from an SJ to an NT!
heart
09-24-2008, 12:57 AM
Wedding rings only increase attention from male sex. Maybe it's because someone else wanted you or maybe because there is a feeling that you'll be more open to no-strings relations? But it does increase attention.
runvardh
09-24-2008, 01:28 AM
Classic! concrete advice from an SJ to an NT!
I was thinking of suggesting the same thing, really...
runvardh
09-24-2008, 01:30 AM
Wedding rings only increase attention from male sex. Maybe it's because someone else wanted you or maybe because there is a feeling that you'll be more open to no-strings relations? But it does increase attention.
Everything increases attention from some section of the male population. I guess in the end a girl can only hope what she's doing is attracting the right section and repelling the rest. :rolli:
heart
09-24-2008, 01:32 AM
Everything increases attention from some section of the male population. I guess in the end a girl can only hope what she's doing is attracting the right section and repelling the rest. :rolli:
Yeah, during the 20s, just being female probably does it, but I noticed a dramatic upswing from the day I started wearing my wedding ring at those ages so I am not sure a wedding ring is really any sort of fix against unwanted attention. That's all I am saying. :D
Jeffster
09-24-2008, 02:13 AM
When you don't date a lot, you lose hope that you'll find someone, and you conjure up rescue fantasies, thinking that your misery is a result of not finding the perfect person rather than your presentation, social skills, and most importantly, your level of self-comfort (which has a way of adjusting the former two). When you meet someone with potential, you identify them as this possible rescuer and get really excited. Of course, that only causes more problems in the end because your expectations race ahead of the natural comfort level of the relationship and often end up sabotaging what you might legitimately have had. I used to do this a lot. I think the key (for reasons I can articulate, but won't) has to do with being kind to yourself when you see yourself struggling to find completion and assuage your loneliness.
Who, Beat? Because I sure as hell don't do any of that crap.
the downside of even appearing single around here? getting asked out every f--ing time you go into public! There's nothing more annoying than getting a "hey baby- you married?" while you're trying to mind your own business in the grociery store :steam:
especially when you are involved with someone and they're out of the country :dry:
** sorry- that minor rant was coming **
BOO FRICKIN HOO.
you guys think too much about this.
you dont even want me to tell you what harm one-sided or incomplete overthinking can cause... :dry:
anyways, it's all good, what happens happens right?
Listen to this man. He speaks wisdom.
Seconded.
runvardh
09-24-2008, 02:32 AM
Yeah, during the 20s, just being female probably does it, but I noticed a dramatic upswing from the day I started wearing my wedding ring at those ages so I am not sure a wedding ring is really any sort of fix against unwanted attention. That's all I am saying. :D
I'd hit on a girl in her 30s if I thought she'd take me seriously; otherwise, I guess I'm one of those with the moral disposition of "see ring, no touch". *shrug*
Edit: unless I gave it to her ;)
heart
09-24-2008, 02:47 AM
I'd hit on a girl in her 30s if I thought she'd take me seriously; otherwise, I guess I'm one of those with the moral disposition of "see ring, no touch". *shrug*
Edit: unless I gave it to her ;)
I was mostly posting to Whatever's situation, mid-20's, attractive, friendly, it's just the way it is for young women at that age, guys just are going to be hitting on them in larger numbers at the oddest times. When I was around that age, having a cold seemed to bring it on which always irritated me (because I was sick and didn't want to deal with it, I was married) and my goodness I looked like crap at those times...husband said he thought it was due to a lowered sense of awareness and that others would pick up on it, of me not being on my guard. It could be the same for Whatever at the store, her mind is tired or preoccupied and the guys think she's relaxed?
whatever
09-24-2008, 03:17 AM
a ring totally doesn't help (I wear my aunt's engagment ring for that purpose).
of course, I also live on the bad side of town, so that may have something to do with it as well.
you're quite right heart- when in the grociery store I'm thinking of how quickly I can get out of there and get my dinner, not "OMG! it's a GUY!!! :wubbie:"
Tallulah
09-24-2008, 07:34 AM
I really don't get hit on that much, and never really have. I get looks and such, but I very rarely actually get hit on. I usually have a distinct lack of awareness of my surroundings, though. Maybe that helps. :smile:
Jeffster
09-24-2008, 07:36 AM
I really don't get hit on that much, and never really have. I get looks and such, but I very rarely actually get hit on. I usually have a distinct lack of awareness of my surroundings, though. Maybe that helps. :smile:
Dang, and I was at the same table with her, and totally missed my chance. Darn that whole being a gentleman thing. :doh:
ajblaise
09-24-2008, 07:37 AM
I really don't get hit on that much, and never really have. I get looks and such, but I very rarely actually get hit on. I usually have a distinct lack of awareness of my surroundings, though. Maybe that helps. :smile:
Hot introverted females can be intimidating to some people.
Jack Flak
09-24-2008, 01:07 PM
Hot introverted females can be intimidating to some people.
*shivers*
aguanile
09-24-2008, 06:22 PM
Hot introverted females can be intimidating to some people.
Is this true? I have been told that I am intimidating. I am just introverted. There should be signs or something. "Don't be afraid. I am just reserved."
I really don't get hit on that much, and never really have. I get looks and such, but I very rarely actually get hit on. I usually have a distinct lack of awareness of my surroundings, though. Maybe that helps. :smile:
Me too. I think it does help. It also helps when you live around and frequent places with people who are exceptionally civil and respectful.
phoenix13
09-24-2008, 08:10 PM
Wear a ring.
My mom did that. It didn't stop my dad, though... He says he knew it was fake because she never talked about her "husband." Moral of the story: If you wear a ring, make up an anecdote or two.
Grayscale
09-24-2008, 08:52 PM
when in the grociery store I'm thinking of how quickly I can get out of there and get my dinner, not "OMG! it's a GUY!!! :wubbie:"
that's not nearly as bad as being trapped in an elevator with someone who's undressing you with their eyes.
*punches the open door button over and over* :happy2:
and the all time worst, the tall amazonian-esque chicks, the "giraffe hunters". thank god spears are illegal to carry in public.
this gives me a great product idea: mate-b-gone, it could be a combination of very strong artificial B.O. and chemical hormone deterrent for the opposite sex that you wear like perfume/colongue :nerd:
Damn I need man shoulders.
Lol.
I'm sure I'm going to have problems because I rarely date. But I'm holding onto the optimistic belief that when I actually meet someone I want to devote dating time to, it will all come pretty naturally.
My problem is, I get impressions of people really quickly. I usually don't need more than 5 minutes with someone (if that) to decide whether or not I'd want to spend a few hours with them on a date. The other problem is, I must have an invisible (only to me) sign on my head that says "come unto me all ye men who are both extremely socially awkward and self-righteous." It's cool if you're like that and I'm just having a discussion with you, but why would I want to date you (mostly the self-righteous part, I can understand the social anxiety)....rather be by myself, on the lookout for...ya know, all those possibilities that I'll never try to fulfill :newwink: .
I guess the amount of dating you try to do should be decided by you. It's all relative. If you feel like you're missing out, go out there and keep trying. But I wouldn't feel pressured if you're more into the friend before girlfriend pattern or if the people you're meeting aren't capturing your attention.
vBulletin® v3.7.3, Copyright ©2000-2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by
vBSEO 3.1.0