SJs-- what do you think of INFs?

[helen]

I is curious. :D

[Beat]

Love 'em.

[batumi]

Love 'em.

How funny. I am seeing an ISTJ and I don't get the impression we
click so well all the time.

So what do you love about them?

[ArbiterDewey]

You, and others, will not like my answer.

Male INFJ's I have no knowledge of aside from ByMySword. He's kick ass, nuff said.

Personally, I think female INFJ's are crazy. I don't believe our types mix well at all. They're conversationally manipulative and walking pity-parties. I dated one for awhile...If something doesn't follow their line of expected outcomes, such as dating etiquette, they freak out. Trapped in an unrealistic fantasy world. She wanted to have 8 kids, 1 of which would be adopted, and, even though she would go to college, she'd never use her degree. She'd let her husband work full time so she could tend to the babies. My bet was once the cute wore off after they're all older than 13 she'd kill herself.

INFP's, on the other hand, I get along with okay. They're occasionally sulky and terribly pessimistic, but can be good company. Overly competitive, and sore-losers. Their flip-floping type change is random. One minute displaying an air of bad-ass, confident, in charge. However, once challenged, they revert back to sulk-mode. If hurt in a relationship, they bleed forever.

Do note I'm being rather unfair to both types. This is just what I've experienced personally.

[Beat]

How funny. I am seeing an ISTJ and I don't get the impression we
click so well all the time.

So what do you love about them?

Oh you won't click so well all the time. That's just the curse that comes with being with someone who is pretty much completely opposite in the functions, which while it does bring up compatibility issues that's one of the things I appreciate about the INFP's. The fact that they're different from me.

I like INFPs for their idealistic view, their focus on people and being genuinely interested and doing their best in understanding them. Seems a lot of INFPs are pretty artsy too. I appreciate the arts but I don't pull of performing them that well lolz. I like artsy people.

As for INFJ's, both my parents are one. I like them. :cheese:

[dnivera]

Love them, but they don't necessarily like me all the time. I'm too blunt and serious/practical when it comes to doing stuff that involves decision-making with INFs.

What do I love about INFs? Their kindness and openness. More people should be like that!

[helen]

Love them, but they don't necessarily like me all the time. I'm too blunt and serious/practical when it comes to doing stuff that involves decision-making with INFs.


:hug: l like SJs *because* they are blunt and serious/practical. Sometimes I get on my own nerves and find the contrast refreshing.

[Hmm]

Of all the types NF's are the ones I understand the least but am most amused by.

[dnivera]

I often have trouble keeping up conversations with INFPs one-on-one. I'm not sure how to respond to their statements or volley back other than with expressions of empathy. I tend to steer the conversation to the concrete (like what they're doing this weekend) and that tends to annoy them.

[Jeffster]

Of all the types NF's are the ones I understand the least but am most amused by.

I know what you mean.

Yeah, I know I'm an intruder in this topic, but I felt the need to "ditto." ;)

[Kai]

I'm a huge fan of an INFJ!

The only wish I could have is that I could connect better. It's odd because we are so similar but worlds apart at the same time.

[batumi]

Love them, but they don't necessarily like me all the time. I'm too blunt and serious/practical when it comes to doing stuff that involves decision-making with INFs.

What do I love about INFs? Their kindness and openness. More people should be like that!

My favorite thing about ISTJs is exactly how they are so blunt and honest.
I love authentic people.

I now have three ISTJs in my life on almost a daily basis.
I can trust them eternally to be who they say they are and
to say what they mean, and mean what they say.

:nice:

[batumi]

Oh you won't click so well all the time. That's just the curse that comes with being with someone who is pretty much completely opposite in the functions, which while it does bring up compatibility issues that's one of the things I appreciate about the INFP's. The fact that they're different from me.

I like INFPs for their idealistic view, their focus on people and being genuinely interested and doing their best in understanding them. Seems a lot of INFPs are pretty artsy too. I appreciate the arts but I don't pull of performing them that well lolz. I like artsy people.

As for INFJ's, both my parents are one. I like them. :cheese:

Thank you Beat! It has been difficult at times but we are working
at it.

[EJCC]

I don't know any INFPs, but my mom's an INFJ and we're very close. We balance each other out perfectly. We always go to each other for advice (and try to control each other's lives :)). She'll tell me when I'm being too blunt, and I'll tell her when she isn't being blunt enough. You get the idea. (However, I know an INFJ guy who tends to really irritate me, although I'm pretty sure it's not because of his MBTI type.)

One thing I really appreciate about INFJs, when working with them in a group, is that they take you aside and tell you very gently what you're doing wrong and how to fix it. As an ESTJ, if they did that in front of the entire group, I'd feel embarrassed and stupid.

Oh, and Beat? Do you get the feeling that INFJs are naturally parental? I really see that. They tend to try to be your mom (in a good way).

[mlittrell]

INF whats

INFPs are quite different from INFJs, quite different indeed.

[Shimpei]

My best friend is INFJ. I admire her.

[helen]

INF whats

INFPs are quite different from INFJs, quite different indeed.

Hmm, yes but they're more similar to eachother than either is to an SJ of any sort, IMO.

[mlittrell]

Hmm, yes but they're more similar to eachother than either is to an SJ of any sort, IMO.

true, just bad notation that im choosing to be picky about. functionally they are nothing alike, but thats besides the point. INFPs and INFJs my look the same or look like they even have the same goals externally but internally they reach those goals in a completely different manner.

I'm just being annoying, ignore me lol.

[NYmac86]

I can't say I even know too many INF's outside of the many teachers and few therapists I have had. The best kind of people to read me like truly like a book as much as their ENF counterparts try to claim to, but sometimes open to ideals a bit radical for my tastes.

[Zeldias]

I'm looking at it backwards: as an INFP, I love SJs! But I love everybody. :smile:

Me and my ISTJ fiancee' get along famously normally; I'm a little tougher than the everyday INFP and she's a little softer than your usual ISTJ, so that might help. She does get pretty frustrated with me if she thinks I'm not on-topic with our conversation, at which point I'll explain that I AM, in fact, on topic because what I was saying is related in this way, because if you look at it in this sense, then they share the same concept and theoretical backing, to which she'll say "What? That's not what we're talking about." Then I sigh.

On the other hand, she sometimes slays me by attempting to recruit or convince me when I disagree, as opposed to just talking about it. When a disagreement comes up, she's employing debate strategies against me, tracing timelines, and dusting for fingerprints to convince me that just agreeing with her makes sense, because her way is clearly more logical, and if I could just see her logic, then I could also be correct and logical! Usually, by the time she's calling her star witness to the stand to testify on her universal rightness, I'm crying and saying "JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE PB&J DOESN'T MEAN I SHOULD, TOO!"

I'm being tongue-in-cheek, but from my extremely INFP vantage point, my feeling is that ISTJs love us! They just wish we could see that what they're saying is the correct thing because it all makes so much sense. Meanwhile, NFs are panicking because we feel like our values/authenticity are under attack. I think that, in my case, I see her as a Death Star, firing at my planet, and she sees me as Chicken Little, screaming that the sky is falling when it's really just her rearranging the clouds.

I have to say, though, that she can really get my ass in gear. I made a schedule yesterday and almost fainted from shock. And I even follow it from time to time! I also don't start to cry about "how the world should be" whenever I read world politics. She has come to really get closer to trusting abstract thought, grey areas in the world, and being able to open up about how she feels. And apparently my value-oriented flakiness is as sexy to her as her logic-oriented organization is to me. And in the end, isn't that all that really matters?

(Sorry, I'm so bored at work it hurts.)

[Bella]

They're the emotional ones, right?

[pure_mercury]

I love everybody. Seriously, even INTPs who aren't jerks.

[OneWithSoul]

My Grandfather's an ISTJ, and if you makes you ISTJs feel better, I really like him and get along with him well, but it tends to stay concrete like you have said..and he is very hands-on, always building something, so at times, it can be a little hard for us to interact or relate..but overall, I couldn't ask for a better grandfather :)

[iwakar]

You, and others, will not like my answer.

Male INFJ's I have no knowledge of aside from ByMySword. He's kick ass, nuff said.

Personally, I think female INFJ's are crazy. I don't believe our types mix well at all. They're conversationally manipulative and walking pity-parties. I dated one for awhile...If something doesn't follow their line of expected outcomes, such as dating etiquette, they freak out. Trapped in an unrealistic fantasy world. She wanted to have 8 kids, 1 of which would be adopted, and, even though she would go to college, she'd never use her degree. She'd let her husband work full time so she could tend to the babies. My bet was once the cute wore off after they're all older than 13 she'd kill herself.

INFP's, on the other hand, I get along with okay. They're occasionally sulky and terribly pessimistic, but can be good company. Overly competitive, and sore-losers. Their flip-floping type change is random. One minute displaying an air of bad-ass, confident, in charge. However, once challenged, they revert back to sulk-mode. If hurt in a relationship, they bleed forever.

Do note I'm being rather unfair to both types. This is just what I've experienced personally.

Yowzers that reeks of personal injury.

I'm a female INFJ and one of my best, one of my only friends in the world is an ISTJ. So reliable, so dependable, and so trust-worthy. I doubt he even knows how highly I think of him. If I need some straight-up honesty he is my go-to guy. I know my weaknesses and flaws and never give up on the idea that I can be a better person and my ISTJ is inspiring in his steadfastness and refreshing in his perspective.

The love of my life is an INFP. He is all things comfort, love, and sanctuary to me. Truly, an open-minded person. And we both seem fine-tuned to catch each other's bullshit in the act because we know how the other thinks and can spot our negative tendencies creeping up.

That's not to say of course I haven't known unhealthy INFPs or ISTJs... I believe my mother is an ill ISTJ. She was badly abused for years, her mother died when she was a little girl, her father was a raging, abusive alcoholic so on and so forth. I've seen an uhealthy ISTJ and it is one scary mutha.

The same could be said of an unhealthy INFJ which is what I'm confident you described above.

...some of us may be really awesome... You can't rewrite your experience with unhealthy types, but perhaps you can rewrite your outlook on them.

:smile:

[Cimarron]

I know two girls who I think are INF.

The first I am more certain of her type, but she also had some family issues. She was very friendly but reserved and shy, always thought well of others and treated them well, unfortunately was a little gullible and ended up getting pushed around by others. She was still very distant, though, and it led to problems in our relationship and her relationship with others... She just seemed to be off in her own world and no matter how hard people tried, she could not be reached.

The second may be an INF or an INT. We get along really well, and we understand each other's need for space. She is more passionate about things--about everything--than I am, so that's always fun to follow.

That's just my personal experience with them. Generally I feel like they draw me in, even though they can be hard to relate to.

[BerberElla]

I really like and admire SJ's for being so anchored in reality. Without them nothing would ever get done, and the world would fall into disrepair.

I think I get along really well with my ISFJ friend, I find everything about her interesting and amusing, I relate to where she is coming from but not where it took her at times. However I feel safe around her, I feel like at least someone is infront of me against the hoardes of crazies outisde.

The only ISTJ I knew in real life was either insanely unhealthy and a terrible representation of that type, or you all need to get locked up because he was spot on. :newwink:

Both ESTJ and ESFJ's are also great and get my admiration again because of how driven they are. Maybe a tad too controlling at times, but there is reason to their madness. If I took their advice when it was offered I might be further along in life than I am taking my own lol.


So SJ's like me in return, or you'll really hurt my feelings :cry:

[Hmm]

I really like and admire SJ's for being so anchored in reality. Without them nothing would ever get done, and the world would fall into disrepair.

I think I get along really well with my ISFJ friend, I find everything about her interesting and amusing, I relate to where she is coming from but not where it took her at times. However I feel safe around her, I feel like at least someone is infront of me against the hoardes of crazies outisde.

The only ISTJ I knew in real life was either insanely unhealthy and a terrible representation of that type, or you all need to get locked up because he was spot on. :newwink:

Both ESTJ and ESFJ's are also great and get my admiration again because of how driven they are. Maybe a tad too controlling at times, but there is reason to their madness. If I took their advice when it was offered I might be further along in life than I am taking my own lol.


So SJ's like me in return, or you'll really hurt my feelings :cry:

Awwww BerberElla, thank yooou, that was very sweet! :wubbie: I definitely like you!

(Oh and ISTJ's are cool. I think those examples were just bad apples)

[Bella]

Awwww BerberElla, thank yooou, that was very sweet! :wubbie: I definitely like you!

(Oh and ISTJ's are cool. I think those examples were just bad apples)

Yes, but they'll never be James Caan-cool. ;)

[Hmm]

Don't tell me he's an ISTJ?

[Bella]

Don't tell me he's an ISTJ?

No, he's not.
I was quoting Jack Flak. (on ISTJ coolness, or lack thereof)

[Beat]

Oh, and Beat? Do you get the feeling that INFJs are naturally parental? I really see that. They tend to try to be your mom (in a good way).
Totally. My mom is the best mom. Both my parents are really, really great despite both of them having come from broken and mildly abusive homes. I've never been great at communicating with my parents, at least not as well as I wish. In a number of ways we don't relate too, but I admire my parents and I know they share the same apprecition towards me. They're very supportive and affirming.

I'd probably nominate INFJ's as being the best type in general. Down to earth, warm and not shallow by any means. I remember asking what type people think Jesus would have been and I think a lot agreed that it'd most likely be INFJ. I wouldn't argue that.

[ArbiterDewey]

Yowzers that reeks of personal injury.

I'm a female INFJ and one of my best, one of my only friends in the world is an ISTJ. So reliable, so dependable, and so trust-worthy. I doubt he even knows how highly I think of him. If I need some straight-up honesty he is my go-to guy. I know my weaknesses and flaws and never give up on the idea that I can be a better person and my ISTJ is inspiring in his steadfastness and refreshing in his perspective.

The love of my life is an INFP. He is all things comfort, love, and sanctuary to me. Truly, an open-minded person. And we both seem fine-tuned to catch each other's bullshit in the act because we know how the other thinks and can spot our negative tendencies creeping up.

That's not to say of course I haven't known unhealthy INFPs or ISTJs... I believe my mother is an ill ISTJ. She was badly abused for years, her mother died when she was a little girl, her father was a raging, abusive alcoholic so on and so forth. I've seen an uhealthy ISTJ and it is one scary mutha.

The same could be said of an unhealthy INFJ which is what I'm confident you described above.

...some of us may be really awesome... You can't rewrite your experience with unhealthy types, but perhaps you can rewrite your outlook on them.

:smile:

You are, of course, correct. My previous dealings with INFX's has just about always been negative, so I have no other information to relate to, thus my simplistic opinions about them. However, you can't change the past, but you can change how you feel about the past. I feel that I am done being the victim in the scenario I described with that particular INFJ. There's not really a problem with my INFP friend, but at the time that I knew him, he was a wreck.

So, with this new perspective I'm trying not to unfairly be bias against INFX's or any other type I've had difficulty with.

As far as unhealthy ISTJ's go I guess you could say that I was one for a long time. For the last year, however, I've been going to therapy and many things have changed for the better. I was on the road to lifetime medication to keep me from going nuts. It has helped significantly.

Thanks for your reply. :D

[Bella]

How were you unhealthy?
If you don't mind splattering that over teh interwebs.

[Hmm]

No, he's not.
I was quoting Jack Flak. (on ISTJ coolness, or lack thereof)

Ahh. I think Jack Flak hates SJ's. :( I like him though.


And to answer the OP Helen, I think it really depends on the INF, tbh. Just like any other type, some are really great and some are not, but generally speaking, I enjoy their emotional displays.

[Bella]

Tell me about it....

[Jack Flak]

LOL. There's a big difference between hating SJs and wanting to commit suicide if I spend a few hours with one or more. I don't hate SJs.

[Hmm]

LOL. There's a big difference between hating SJs and wanting to commit suicide if I spend a few hours with one or more. I don't hate SJs.

Aww, that's too bad. I find myself agreeing with you a lot here and I think that we'd get a long swimmingly. And please don't commit suicide.

[Jack Flak]

Aww, that's too bad. I find myself agreeing with you a lot here and I think that we'd get a long swimmingly. And please don't commit suicide.
For the record, ISFJs seem to be the easiest for me to get along with. None of that pesky T wanting to argue, lol. Also, not ESFJ! *shivers* I also like you, for the record. Bella too, but damn if she doesn't seem to often think I'm coming at things from a different angle than I am.

[Bella]

Pffft...Excuse me, while I lick my wounds....

[Bella]

For the record, ISFJs seem to be the easiest for me to get along with. None of that pesky T wanting to argue, lol. Also, not ESFJ! *shivers* I also like you, for the record. Bella too, but damn if she doesn't seem to often think I'm coming at things from a different angle than I am.

WHAT! I've never even discussed anything heavy with you, I can sincerely not remember ever arguing with you about anything. There's one huge misunderstanding here. Do you think I would be this upset if I thought you're a moron and all I want to do is argue with you.

[Jack Flak]

Yes there is a misunderstanding. We're not on the same wavelength, hence it. I'm not insulting you, just being honest. A few times you've thought I was alluding to something I wasn't, or being literal when I wasn't. No big deal, I still like you.

[Bella]

There was never a bad attitude from my side, okay? Maybe it's my tone.
You can't get fed-up with me because I misunderstand you or ask you a question.
Okay, I'm done...
And may butterflies and rainbows and unicorns make a magical appearance and bring peace between Bella and Jack Flak.

[Jack Flak]

I never was fed up! If the misunderstandings are repeated endlessly, turning into a huge ball of misunderstanding of who I even am, that tires me. It has been my experience in real life with SJs, such as my relatives and co-workers. It's the worst when it's someone in authority such as a supervisor. So I try to minimize contact.

I don't think you have to worry, Bella.

[Bella]

'k...peace