Dealbreakers

[Rajah]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

The biggest one of mine would be someone mistreating my son. That's completely non-negotiable.

To a much lesser extent, I'm not fond of smoking. I don't mind if it's a couple of cigarettes out at a bar or something, but I find it difficult to deal with a two-pack-a-day habit.

Does that make me judgmental? Is that a bad thing? Should it really matter if someone indulges in a habit that isn't directly affecting you? Does it, in fact, directly affect you when your partner smokes?

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.

[PinkPiranha]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

The biggest one of mine would be someone mistreating my son. That's completely non-negotiable.

Anyone treated children like garbage is a no-no, and I don't even have kids. I can absolutely see why that would be a huge problem for you.


To a much lesser extent, I'm not fond of smoking. I don't mind if it's a couple of cigarettes out at a bar or something, but I find it difficult to deal with a two-pack-a-day habit.

Does that make me judgmental? Is that a bad thing? Should it really matter if someone indulges in a habit that isn't directly affecting you? Does it, in fact, directly affect you when your partner smokes?

If it bothers you, it bothers you. That's not judgmental. It's simply what you do or do not want, and everyone is entitled to that whether it's "reasonable" or not.

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.

Name calling. I hate it. I hate it and nothing will utterly KILL my feelings faster for someone than that. Men calling women names (even in jest) bothers me intensely and that's just the way it is.

That's an instant and permanent dealbreaker. Even if I want it to not be that way, I can't make myself feel the feelings I had before. They're gone.

Drinking and driving. One drink. 12 drinks. Doesn't matter to me. It's dangerous and against the law. I've been imperiled more than once when I was forced (as a child on upward) to ride with someone who'd been drinking. It's selfish, scary, deluded, and taking hostages. Gonna drive? Don't drink. And I mean not a drop. I've arranged other ways home when this rule was broken. As a child, I wasn't able to do that. As an adult, no way are you taking my life in your hands.

[MacGuffin]

Bad taste in music/movies/books.

[Geoff]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

The biggest one of mine would be someone mistreating my son. That's completely non-negotiable.

To a much lesser extent, I'm not fond of smoking. I don't mind if it's a couple of cigarettes out at a bar or something, but I find it difficult to deal with a two-pack-a-day habit.

Does that make me judgmental? Is that a bad thing? Should it really matter if someone indulges in a habit that isn't directly affecting you? Does it, in fact, directly affect you when your partner smokes?

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.

The wrong side of crazy.. when you fear for your safety and or own sanity as a result :D

Hmm... smoking and illegal drugs would be a deal breaker.



Just as long as they don't stop me drink driving and calling women names*


*haha, just kidding Pink.

[AwesomeCakes]

I don't think it makes you judgmental. You just have your standards. Personally I don't think you should lower them for anyone.

If he is an abusive asshole he will definitely find himself left by the curb. No doubt about it.

[Bella]

When metrosexualness advances beyond 1x moisturizing cream.......even that is pushing it.

[runvardh]

Smoking partner:

- kisses taste like yuck
- a miasmic cloud of second hand smoke in the house, in the vehicle, just outside the door
- increased risk of cancer which can lead to an earlier death which may not effect you directly, but can suck when you're trying to pay for the funeral.

My dealbreakers:
- smoking
- illegal drug use, posession, and/or dealing
- disallowing me outside/outdoors time
- expecting me to do EVERYTHING while she ONLY goofs off
- mocking my Faith

[Rachelinpa]

Shorter than me. Dealbreaker.

[lastrailway]

Lack of hygiene would totally be a deal breaker for me. I have little respect for someone who cannot bath and wear clean clothes.
I wouldn't be very fond of someone hopelessly boring also.

I used not to be very fond of smokers but I've grown more tolerant to this lately.

[EffEmDoubleyou]

- Smoker
- Politically biased to the point of anger or intolerance
- Divorced more than once
- Hostile toward religious beliefs
- Overly concerned with being made up...i.e., makeup and hair just to leave the house, or afraid to get dirty.
- 100% certain she wants children

[pure_mercury]

- liar
- bad potential mother
- bigoted (covering a lot of ground with this one)
- major substance abuse
- co-dependence
- no sex until marriage
- general emptyheadedness

[ajblaise]

Does that make me judgmental? Is that a bad thing? Should it really matter if someone indulges in a habit that isn't directly affecting you? Does it, in fact, directly affect you when your partner smokes

depends on how much mint gum they have on hand.

[Mighty Mouse]

It's funny I started to write out my deal breakers but there are too many to list.

The bottom line is he is either compatible with me or he is not. I don't indulge in anything less :smile:

[ajblaise]

-Dependency issues.
-No or little sense of humor.
-Unintelligent. (the more charming/funny/cool they are, the more unintelligent they can be, to a degree)
-I have to be sexually/physically attracted to them (obviously).
-No fundies.

[ThatGirl]

Oh my lord how much time have you got?.....maybe I am poison






Just the big ones

I don't respect them as a person mentally physically or emotionally.

[ajblaise]

I don't respect them as a person mentally physically or emotionally.

woah you're really making a statement with that.

[ThatGirl]

I smoke but I don't like to date smokers. Say I were to decide to have children I would quit smoking way in advance and would expect them to as well.

I dated a guy who "quit" smoking everytime there was a meaningful event, it ruined everything and I finally went to the market grabed a pack of cigarretts and threw them at him.

[runvardh]

I smoke but I don't like to date smokers. Say I were to decide to have children I would quit smoking way in advance and would expect them to as well.

Actually, the sooner you quit the sooner your options will open up.

[ThatGirl]

Actually, the sooner you quit the sooner your options will open up.

Not quiting is my tactical form of birth control

The chicken or the egg

[Enyo]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

The biggest one of mine would be someone mistreating my son. That's completely non-negotiable.

To a much lesser extent, I'm not fond of smoking. I don't mind if it's a couple of cigarettes out at a bar or something, but I find it difficult to deal with a two-pack-a-day habit.

Does that make me judgmental? Is that a bad thing? Should it really matter if someone indulges in a habit that isn't directly affecting you? Does it, in fact, directly affect you when your partner smokes?

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.

That was also my dealbreaker. My kid and I are a package deal. As for smoking, I'm a light smoker myself, so I don't care. As long as you aren't smoking in my house or around my kid.

It's not judgmental for you to find smoking a turn-off to the point of it being a dealbreaker. It's judgmental to find yourself morally superior to smokers. (There's a difference.) It's no more judgmental for you to not want to date a heavy smoker than it is for me to not want to be in a relationship with a heavy drinker/drunk. *shrugs*

[runvardh]

Not quiting is my tactical form of birth control

The chicken or the egg

Smoking doesn't do that much to slow down ovulation or embeding, unless you're counting on it to keep all the guys away.

[colmena]

I don't think I have many.

I'm not fond of BO.

No Cary Grant posters.

[bluebell]

Off the top of my head, these ones:

- not caring about my physical safety.
- illegal drug use or dealing (occasional pot smoking would probably not be a deal breaker but chronic smoking, yes).
- I'm a light smoker, but I would really dislike anyone smoking indoors or in a car.
- lack of personal hygiene.

[Tallulah]

I don't think I have many.

I'm not fond of BO.

No Cary Grant posters.

That lets out Pink and me, then. Our rooms are plastered with them. :sadbanana:

I don't so much have a list--it's kind of a personal, either we click or we don't, thing. That said, I wouldn't date a smoker, or someone who drinks too much. I wouldn't date someone who was intolerant of others' religions or politics, or someone who's an all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinker. I wouldn't date someone who didn't make me laugh.

[MacGuffin]

someone who drinks too much

Thankfully I drink juuuuust the right amount!

[ceecee]

Lack of Hygiene awareness.
Uptight/religious based views of sex. Also moderate to heavy need for religion in general. No you won't convert me.
Poor treatment of children and animals.
Drinking/drug use. I don't mind social drinking or occasionally smoking a joint.
Poor money management.
Mental illness. This covers a lot of ground.
Intelligence. Speaking/writing/reading at an acceptable level for me.

[ZiL]

I don't so much have a list--it's kind of a personal, either we click or we don't, thing.


Same here. I have some basic standards that can be altered depending on clickage. The most rudimentary standards are:
- No heavy drug use
- No bigots
- No "oh, you're not sure if you want to have kids? /gives a look of pity"
- And yeah, no dangerous B.O. all the time. I remember this guy who thought I liked him (my friends had lied to him that I did, to try to get us together - I didn't find this out until later and was wondering why he was just assuming I'd want to be around him) and so he was feeling pretty good about himself, but he had que horrible body odor. If you're gonna think you're the shit, at least do me a favor and not smell like it...

[Beat]

Male genitalia

[563 740]

Male genitalia

But what if she was really, really, realllly hot and promised that no one would ever find out??

[kelric]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.


Drug use / Heavy drinker
Emotionally manipulative
Bigoted / Lack of respect for others
Very strongly religious / Unable to accept my lack of religion (unlike the others, good friendship would still be a likelihood here)


Mostly it's just a matter of "clicking", but I can't see myself ever "clicking" longterm on a romantic level with the above. Smoking is up there too, but I could see being with someone who was a light/infrequent smoker/trying to quit. Of course, she'd probably have to put up with my "black lung cancer symposium" story, and would probably dump me as a result :D.

[Jennifer]

Dealbreakers

Heavy smoking habit
Alcoholic (drinking is fine, but within reason -- especially if HE drinks all my booze all the time, LOSER!)
Close-minded/opinionated
Passive / Unwilling or unable to take the initiative ever / Can't take care of himself
Doesn't bathe regularly
Obese
Dull-witted
Religious bigot / bigot of any sort
Won't respect me as an independent person / Keeps trying to dominate me
No sense of humor.


Hmmm, I guess this means I'd like to date someone like Martoon, except for the next point:

I really would like a guy close to my height or preferably taller, but knowing the odds of that, I would not shun someone who is shorter... unless they're only as tall as Tom Cruise. *snark*

Male genitalia
Geez, you're picky. :rofl1:

[Lateralus]

What are your dealbreakers when it comes to romantic relationships?
I don't know if it's a deal breaker, but if she doesn't like me, that really puts a damper on things.

[miked277]

Male genitalia

lol :p

can't forget the basics :)

[Uberfuhrer]

Okay, this is a cut-and-paste job, but I feel it's more appropriate here, so I deleted this post in the other thread:


She has PMS.
She makes me watch figure skating.
She feeds me my dinner like a sick puppy when I am perfectly capable of feeding myself.
She makes me take her to a French restaurant. (I've been to one, they are completely overrated and overpriced.)
She has more than two breasts.
She has less than two breasts.
She thinks console gaming is superior to PC gaming.
She makes me buy a cellular telephone.
She calls me "hottie" or "cutie."
She wants to learn about me. (A man needs his privacy.)
She thinks The Dark Knight is totally the best movie ever made.
She gives me compliments with no reasons to back them up.
She gives me insults with no reasons to back them up.
She gives me any sort of pet name.
She moves my furniture around.
She cleans up my home without me giving the okay.
She makes me food without me giving the okay.

And then some:


She is more than two years older than me.
She is under 18.
She is taller than me.
She makes me read her poetry.
She makes me write her poetry.
Her online profile picture is of her ass.
She makes me dance with her.
She makes me sell my belongings.

[phoenix13]

-arrogance
-manipulative tendencies
-leech-like dependence
-arrogance
-someone who treats people like crap (even if he treats me well)
-arrogance
-arrogant tendencies
-a condescending attitude that implies superiority
-arrogance

[anii]

So, tell me what your dealbreakers are. Let's flesh this out.

Smoking. But you already said that.

[ajblaise]

Out of all the horrible human traits out there, smoking is sure getting a bad rep here.

[htb]

Not a horrible trait. Just a smelly, expensive addiction.

[6sticks]

Weakness, as defined by me.
Immorality, as defined by me.
Male genitalia.

That's all that really matters.

She wants to learn about me. (A man needs his privacy.)
:laugh:

[ajblaise]

For the people who chose smoking as a dealbreaker: Would you really rather potentially be with someone who you like less overall and doesn't smoke than someone who you like more overall and does?

[htb]

Though my experience shows smoking to be indicative of certain temperaments, as well as lifestyles, I don't think it's a dealbreaker.

It is, however, a magnificent excuse to point a live firehose at somebody's mouth.

[Jeffster]

-arrogance
-manipulative tendencies
-leech-like dependence
-arrogance
-someone who treats people like crap (even if he treats me well)
-arrogance
-arrogant tendencies
-a condescending attitude that implies superiority
-arrogance

Hey baby...you better get with me quick, because I am IN DEMAND. :cool:

[miked277]

smoking: ritualistic mass suicide... over a long span of time.

when you think of it like that it does look pretty silly :yes:

[phoenix13]

Hey baby...you better get with me quick, because I am IN DEMAND. :cool:

me: :2up: :angry:

you: :9436:

[ajblaise]

smoking: ritualistic mass suicide... over a long span of time.

The percentage of smokers who will end up dieing of lung cancer and other cig-related ailments is actually pretty low.

[Jeffster]

me: :2up::angry::ranting::azdaja: :moodeath: :censored:

you: :9436:

Awesome. So, what time should I pick you up? :D

[CzeCze]

Shorter than me. Dealbreaker.

LOL, just you wait! You'll meet your 5'2 prince charming and then you'll rue the day!

How tall are you if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 5'7 and I like wimmins and while I very much *wish* to date those as tall or taller than myself, it's a little much to ask and still have a dating pool.

BTW, the 'the superficial reasons to break up' thread has some more funny height/size standards stories from some female ENFPs. :whistling:

Dealbreakers:

-If you are disheveled, sloppy, unkempt, unwashed as a matter of choice. I'm not talking casual, I'm talking unhygenic.
-Chronic halitosis
-Don't know how to act in public
-Horrible table manners
-So impractical or scattered they can't take care of day to day bills, maintenance, stuff that needs to get done
-People with avoidant personalities
-There has to be mutual interest, genuine chemistry, and mutual physical attraction (I know, I thought that was a given, too)
-If you ever take an 'alpha-male' or dismissive/superior tone with me. Once disrespect starts creeping into a relationship dynamic, it's very hard to get out and downhill from there. And some people's personalities are more prone to disrespect than others. So once that peeks its head, I take it as a sign to bounce.

*edit* I just read Phoenix's list. Exactly, that air of superiority! Can't stand it in a potential partner. And they would never allow you to be a true partner, they would always think of you as some supporting extension in their life.

[CzeCze]

Though my experience shows smoking to be indicative of certain temperaments, as well as lifestyles, I don't think it's a dealbreaker.

Interesting - details, please?

[cafe]

Stupid
Rude
Unemployable for other than health reasons
Critical of people close to him as a way to belittle
Religious beliefs very different from my own
Drinker/user of other substances besides caffeine
Smoker
Lacking humor
Uptight
Overbearing
Clingy/needy
Extroverted
Prissy
Bad temper/violent
Small butt

[ThatGirl]

Small butt

?

[htb]

Interesting - details, please?I stressed personal experience because I doubt my correlations would fit others' preferences, given such a subjective topic as romantic interests. And, too, given that smoking has been consigned to subcultures in America but not in other countries or cultures, I doubt my conclusions would be applicable to other populations. The bottom line is that, for me, it tends to be a characteristic that accompanies trouble.

I can provide you with vivid narrations of the firehose -- what pressure I would choose, how far down the street I would push the smoker, how many times I would pretend to let up and walk away before pointing the nozzle at the smoker again, and so on. Eh? Eh?

[Uberfuhrer]

Male genitalia.

But what if she collects them in the way General Grievous collects the lightsabers of fallen Jedi?

:laugh:

Actually, I was being serious about that...at least, in a snooping-around-in-the-attic sort of way. (I also don't feel comfortable when people know where I live.)

[Anonymous]

-Militant anti-smoker (I don't smoke, but this just makes the person look stupid to me)
-Pushy with religious beliefs
-Arrogant
-Unable to converse at a deeper level than about things like pop culture.
-Overly materialistic/poor money sense

Other stuff, but that's what comes to mind.

[ENTraPper]

Smoking. Yuck.
Lazy/inactive/couch potato
Religious. I prefer non-practicing/agnostic/atheist
No sense of humor
Emotionally unstable/co-dependent

[PinkPiranha]

Come on, Lat! Quitter! :D

[Uberfuhrer]

I don't smoke and I don't do drugs.

[6sticks]

But what if she collects them in the way General Grievous collects the lightsabers of fallen Jedi?
That would only be attractive if she kept them strung around her belt like Boba Fett's wookie scalps. Otherwise that's a dealbreaker.

Actually, I was being serious about that...at least, in a snooping-around-in-the-attic sort of way. (I also don't feel comfortable when people know where I live.)
I know, that's why it's funny. It's a given that they'd want to learn about you. I'm definitely with you on snooping around though. But you have to take a chance. And wanting to learn about you isn't the same as actually learning about you.

[Jennifer]

For the people who chose smoking as a dealbreaker: Would you really rather potentially be with someone who you like less overall and doesn't smoke than someone who you like more overall and does?

Usually the fact that I'm mostly allergic to it and can't breathe and have to use my inhaler if I'm around too much smoke REALLY screws up the shared intimacy, you know? :)

Usually the alcoholic isn't spilling his drinks on me, and most other vices don't directly impact me; but the smoke lingers and gets in everything.

I dunno. There's always an exception, if the rest of the package is good.

[ajblaise]

Usually the alcoholic isn't spilling his drinks on me, and most other vices don't directly impact me; but the smoke lingers and gets in everything.

yeah he's too busy punching holes in the wall and crashing his car into children.

[Jennifer]

yeah he's too busy punching holes in the wall and crashing his car into children.

That's why I live in brick houses and make the kids wear personal airbag devices. (At least during the times they run out of ammo and don't have time to reload.)

[Chaotictheorist]

She treats me like shit.
She doesn't respect me.
She wants me to go things with her but never things I want to do.
She calls the women I work with names for no reason.
She is too insecure and thinks every girl is trying to steal me away.
She is so passive she won't stick up for herself or her beliefs.
She wants me to know how she is feeling and what is going on in her life with out telling me.
She abandons me when I am sick.
She tries to control everything.
Incompetence.

[ajblaise]

That's why I live in brick houses and make the kids wear personal airbag devices. (At least during the times they run out of ammo and don't have time to reload.)

hey it sure beats that nasty cig smoke.

[Tallulah]

I'm not saying I couldn't fall in love with a smoker, but it would have to be VERY occasional, and not in the house. I can't deal with clothes and furniture smelling like smoke, and I'm not about to choose to inhale it regularly. It was bad enough enduring my guitar teacher's incessant smoking for a couple of hours, a couple of times a week. I'd leave with a headache and a stuffed-up nose. I would never want to have that as a permanent part of my life. So, it's just easier to date non-smokers. I figure, smokers have the right to smoke, but I don't have to date them and impose a different lifestyle on them. It's easy enough to just leave each other alone.

[Hmm]

Does that make me judgmental?

Yes.

Is that a bad thing?

Depends on who you're asking. Generally, the people on the receiving end or even potentially on the receiving end of the judgement think it's a bad thing. The people issuing the judgement think it's not a bad thing.

[ajblaise]

I'd leave with a headache and a stuffed-up nose.

I love the irony of how non-smokers often report more negative side-effects from smoke than the actual people smoking the cigarette.

I get what you're saying. I still believe that few people would settle with a non-smoker if they had a smoker that they were in love with or liked more though.

[01011010]

Being unhealthy: Overweight, Substance abusers, Mentally insane.

[cafe]

?
Okay, maybe it's not a complete deal breaker, but I do not find small butts attractive. Small butts are sad and pathetic, not happy and slapable.

[Jack Flak]

Small butts are sad and pathetic, not happy and slapable.
To the contrary! I protest, and all that.

[Rachelinpa]

Smoker

Yeah, I forgot that one.

[Terian]

-Smoking
-Any use of recreational drugs
-Unpleasant hair and/or personal hygeine
-Patronization towards me
-Doesn't like to debate
-Too closed-minded
-More than a year older than me
-More than a year younger than me
-Too soft-spoken (confidence is necessary as is the ability to stand up for oneself)
-Uninterested with all of/most my own interests
-Unable to keep up (intelligence/quickness of thought are necessary)
-Taller than me (heh, good luck with that, though)
-Overly emotional/too easily hurt
-Too controlling
-Unable to admit fault
-Overweight
-Not aesthetically pleasing (to me, I don't care about what anyone else thinks)

That said, I will probably never find someone I'd want to date (or, if I did, that would want to date me).

[Oberon]

I once refused to continue dating a girl who spread rumors about me among her friends. Lots of things are negotiable, but reputation is way too hard to come by for it to be on the list. There was pretty much nothing she could to to redeem it after that.

[Uberfuhrer]

Okay, I admit it, overweight and aesthetically challenged are deal breakers, as are those preppy Barbie doll girls like the ones I watched in the horrid remake of the movie Prom Night.

[Oberon]

I don't mind overweight. If a woman were funny and fun and liked me, even obesity wouldn't break the deal.

[kyuuei]

When metrosexualness advances beyond 1x moisturizing cream.......even that is pushing it.

Definitely agree. If they take more time than I do shopping, getting ready, doing their hair.. it's a no-go.

Shorter than me. Dealbreaker.

I'm 5'3.. They'd pretty much be close to midget-status..

Lack of hygiene would totally be a deal breaker for me. I have little respect for someone who cannot bath and wear clean clothes.
I wouldn't be very fond of someone hopelessly boring also.

I used not to be very fond of smokers but I've grown more tolerant to this lately.

I don't mind smoking when drinking. Your breath already smells like ass, it's your decision, and alcohol is already a bad habit.. but chronic smoking is nasty. Just as chronic drinking, and illegal drugs are.. because in my mind, it shows a lack of discipline.. if they can't resist that much, what's resisting them to prettier women? Or stealing money from me? Not their will power, that's for sure. It's a symbol of something more to me, so that's why I disagree.

I don't mind overweight. If a woman were funny and fun and liked me, even obesity wouldn't break the deal.

Weight I can get past, but only to a point. Anyways, dealbreakers for me seem to be the same as most people here. Chronic habits, illegal habits, disrespect and abuse, but I am definitely against anyone that makes me feel stupid for being myself.

[PinkPiranha]

I'm not saying I couldn't fall in love with a smoker, but it would have to be VERY occasional, and not in the house. I can't deal with clothes and furniture smelling like smoke, and I'm not about to choose to inhale it regularly. It was bad enough enduring my guitar teacher's incessant smoking for a couple of hours, a couple of times a week. I'd leave with a headache and a stuffed-up nose. I would never want to have that as a permanent part of my life. So, it's just easier to date non-smokers. I figure, smokers have the right to smoke, but I don't have to date them and impose a different lifestyle on them. It's easy enough to just leave each other alone.

I've fallen in love with a drug-addict, but not because he was drug-addicted. Of course, it made a huge problem. I knew HIM before I knew his addiction. Smoking, drinking, drugs. I saw him in there... under all of that. :(

All I can think when someone I love is smoking is "I have less and less time with you now..."

[Jack Flak]

"I have less and less time with you now..."
"Because I have to leave you...now..."

[Uberfuhrer]

Another deal breaker is if she cares about my income and what I do for a living and if she wants me to buy her jewelry.

I simply do not have that kind of money.

But unfortunately, most women do, in fact, care about this.

[PinkPiranha]

"Because I have to leave you...now..."


Ok, he wasn't JESUS. :-p

Another deal breaker is if she cares about my income and what I do for a living and if she wants me to buy her jewelry...unfortunately, most women care about this.

I simply do not have that kind of money.

Who are you trying to pick up?! A Stepford wife?

[Bella]

hehe

[Jack Flak]

Ok, he wasn't JESUS. :-p

http://i38.tinypic.com/t6bk00.jpg

[PinkPiranha]

I'm going for the cricket. Right now!

[Jack Flak]

I'm going for the cricket. Right now!
You know, that is my only phobia as well. But I think I'll stick around. *becomes tough*

[Uberfuhrer]

Who are you trying to pick up?! A Stepford wife?

I'm just saying that women should learn to buy jewelry themselves.

[cafe]

To the contrary! I protest, and all that.
Some women like the little reared guys. I'd rather have a heavy guy with a nice rear than a classically handsome one with a puny rear. Actually, I prefer a guy with some meat on his bones regardless. Hugging a skinny guy is not appealing.

[Jack Flak]

Some women like the little reared guys. I'd rather have a heavy guy with a nice rear than a classically handsome one with a puny rear. Actually, I prefer a guy with some meat on his bones regardless. Hugging a skinny guy is not appealing.
I don't know much about guys' asses, to tell you the truth. I could take 'em or leave 'em.

[Uberfuhrer]

I don't mind overweight. If a woman were funny and fun and liked me, even obesity wouldn't break the deal.

And keep in mind, I also don't like anorexics.

[PinkPiranha]

Well, why can't women buy jewelry themselves?

Theoretically speaking, they can, but sometimes it's more special when your loved one does it, because it takes your control out of the situation and from my personal standpoint, it's exciting to see how they see me by something they know/believe will light me up. This doesn't just apply to jewelry of course. This applies to most anything. It shows not only what they know about you but how you translate through them.

My INTJ best friend's mother (an INFP) was on vacation in the mountains and she sent home tiny pieces of a mountain side. She asked the mountain to "make her twins better" and give us it's strength. I was so moved I cried. I held the piece of rock in my hand and felt stronger - not just because of the force that holds us all together, but because she cares so much for us. It was just a piece of rock and it couldn't have been more beautiful to me than a diamond.

[GZA]

-Smoking. Yah, it is gross.
-Hard drugs. I don't really care if she smokes weed once in a while, but if it's like every day and in the morning, it starts to get kind of sad. Harder drugs like cocaine is a HUGE no, for sure, no question about it. And even for the pot smokers, they have to respect that I may not want to try it.
-Religion. I'm talking like hardcore religion here. Ok, this isn't a dealbreaker or a standard per se, but I've always felt awkward checking out girls I know are religious, and it would get more and more awkward as things progressed physically. I feel weird for having sexual thoughts about people who beleive in sexual purity/abstinence and stuff, and it would obviously be an issue of practicality for sex anyway. I'm not looking to get married! And I don't want to be the guy who manipulates the girl by saying "we love eachother, isn't it the same thing" ect. I respect religion, it just collides with my own beleifs and worldview to the point that in a relationsip it would cause unpleasentness. I also relate to agnostics and other sort of non-religious people more on an everyday basis.
-Obese/overweight/unhealthy ect
-More than a year younger than me, or a few years older than me.
-Taller than me (which I've never seen in my life cause I'm 6'3, but I wouldn't like it)
-Can't shut up/too much energy to just relax and have a human conversation with without hearing "OMG!"
-A bitch (materialistic, arrogant, bossy, closed minded, double standards, judgemental. I hate it when girls say "she's a slut" about everyone. I don't want to hear it."
-Spoiled

[illume]

OMG... There are a lot, but here are the big ones:

* Lying
* Lazy, won't hold a steady job
* Totally religious zealot
* Cheater
* Bad grooming, i.e. dirty, b.o.
* Abusive in any way, shape, or form to me, my loved ones or animals
* Stupid with no desire to expand horizons or better oneself, especially if in need of doing so.

[Enyo]

I'm just saying that women should learn to buy jewelry themselves.

You know, I'm perfectly capable of buying my own jewelry. I have a ton of jewelry. Most of it is inherited pieces, but some of it is stuff that I bought or my husband bought me. And none of it is cheap.

I don't love my jewelry that my husband bought me because it's sapphires, diamonds and white gold. I love my jewelry that my husband bought me because he wanted me to have it because he loves me. I don't like to ask for jewelry. I want him to want me to have it. If he doesn't want me to have it, then I don't really want him to buy it for me.

Likewise, I have my mother's pearls. I don't love them because they are pearls, but because they were my mother's. She didn't love them because they were pearls; she loved them because it was a graduation gift from her father.

Jewelry is a sentimental thing. If there's no sentimental value to it, then it's just a hunk of metal with a rock in it. (Though, admittedly, some hunks of metal and some rocks do have a higher dollar value attached.)

[heart]

Some women like the little reared guys. I'd rather have a heavy guy with a nice rear than a classically handsome one with a puny rear. Actually, I prefer a guy with some meat on his bones regardless. Hugging a skinny guy is not appealing.

I like lean men. Nerdy is nice too.

[Mo_(operalover)]

-Lack of hygiene
-Brashness
-Judgmental (against myself or others)
-Too short
-No interest in physical fitness
-Lack of respect towards my parents
-Does not obey my orders.
-Hates travel
-Smothering
-Dresses a little too provocatively

One of the above is false.

[phoenix13]

-Lack of hygiene
-Brashness
-Judgmental (against myself or others)
-Too short
-No interest in physical fitness
-Lack of respect towards my parents
-Does not obey my orders.
-Hates travel
-Smothering
-Dresses a little too provocatively

One of the above is false.

does not obey my orders.

[Mo_(operalover)]

does not obey my orders.

Might be that one.

[cafe]

I like lean men. Nerdy is nice too.
Nerdy's a given. :happy2:

[Tallulah]

Nerdy, yes. Geeky, no. I don't want anyone I date to be attending fan conventions dressed as an anime or Star Trek character, nor to be quoting it to me everytime we have a conversation. A modicum of social skills are a plus, as well.

Agree with cafe on the butt situation, though I don't know if it's necessarily a dealbreaker.

[Geoff]

Nerdy, yes. Geeky, no. I don't want anyone I date to be attending fan conventions dressed as an anime or Star Trek character, nor to be quoting it to me everytime we have a conversation. A modicum of social skills are a plus, as well.

Agree with cafe on the butt situation, though I don't know if it's necessarily a dealbreaker.

Well, I hear what you are saying, but I'm not sure Mr Spock would agree.

[runvardh]

Nerdy, yes. Geeky, no. I don't want anyone I date to be attending fan conventions dressed as an anime or Star Trek character, nor to be quoting it to me everytime we have a conversation. A modicum of social skills are a plus, as well.

Agree with cafe on the butt situation, though I don't know if it's necessarily a dealbreaker.

:eek: But I like hauling around a huge cardboard sword. Would it be agreeable if the quoting didn't happen and the social skills were good? I have to wear pants a size up just to compensate for my butt's bone structure... :puppy_dog_eyes:

[Viv]

Dealbreakers for me:

1. How they Treat others- How they view others (especially those who are less fortunate)/how they act when they think no one's watching.

2. Authenticness- I date guys who know themselves really well.

3. How they Treat Me- I value Openess/Mutuality- a lack of this will result in automatic termination. I like guys who are open/honest/resonate with me at a deeper level.

4. Character- a guy who holds back, is cold/calculative will automatically be blacklisted/deleted from my life. I like guys who are sweet/caring. We always start off on a blank ltate, so, if his character impresses me, then he stays.

5. Family Values- has to share the same family values I do.

6. Political Views/Attitude Towards Materialism- I date guys who are humble/cherish what they have/are 'consciously' aware of it. He's simple/down to earth with the things he needs. I also date guys who are a bit on the altruistic side (says lots about their 'integrity').

7. Has to be at least 5'5.'' I like to be able to kiss my man standing up/looking up.. gives me a feeling of 'protectiveness.' =)

[Jack Flak]

*bats eyelashes* You had me at "5'5"" *sigh*

(j/k I'm totally tall btw mmhmm)

[Tallulah]

:eek: But I like hauling around a huge cardboard sword. Would it be agreeable if the quoting didn't happen and the social skills were good? I have to wear pants a size up just to compensate for my butt's bone structure... :puppy_dog_eyes:

Maybe you could be an extra in a Shakespearean play instead? :smile:

[runvardh]

Maybe you could be an extra in a Shakespearean play instead? :smile:

Possible, though I'd be willing to dress up in more "normal" clothes and pose with real swords for fun pictures. I'd do it in the basement so as not to cause embarrassment. :D

[Trinity]

Assuming everything else was appealing about the guy the following things would be a deal-breaker for me;

Is racist, sexist, homophobic or another kind of bigot.
Has a bad temper or anger issues.
Does drugs.
Is involved with organised religion.

[ThatGirl]

I walked up to the old ESTPs door and knocked as loud as I could.

He opend and I sternly, from the side eye look, stated "youre racist arent you... I knew it"

He replied, "No thatgirl, I am not racist either. Anything else?"

"hm!" walked away.

[Uberfuhrer]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?

[Rajah]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?It's irrelevant to me.

[Uberfuhrer]

It's irrelevant to me.

I'm going to assume that your sig is designed to reflect all of your posts.

[ceecee]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?

Like does he have a million plus in the bank plus investments at the age of 30? Does he make at least 6 figures base salary a year? Does he have millions and is a drug dealer? Is he a total slacker with no ambition that works at a gas station and lives in his mom's basement at the age of 45?

[Mighty Mouse]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?

It's not the size of his wallet but that he can handle the content :smile:

[Kyrielle]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?

Only if we intend to live together, then I would be expecting equal cooperation in managing the bills. But by the time that rolls around, I would imagine the idea would have been discussed at length. Otherwise, I really really don't care what they do/how much they make unless 1) it is illegal or 2) they are absolutely miserable (at which point I'd want to help them get out of that situation).

[Trinity]

What about a lack of money in a mate? Is that a deal breaker for any women here?

Money isn't a problem but the way he handles it says a lot. If a bloke my age was permanently unemployed without a damn good reason I'm unlikely to be interested. I’m not taking care of anyone besides family financially.

I'm going to assume that your sig is designed to reflect all of your posts.

That works for me :D

[Nocapszy]

Dealbreakers for me:

1. How they Treat others- How they view others (especially those who are less fortunate)/how they act when they think no one's watching.

2. Authenticness- I date guys who know themselves really well.

3. How they Treat Me- I value Openess/Mutuality- a lack of this will result in automatic termination. I like guys who are open/honest/resonate with me at a deeper level.

4. Character- a guy who holds back, is cold/calculative will automatically be blacklisted/deleted from my life. I like guys who are sweet/caring. We always start off on a blank ltate, so, if his character impresses me, then he stays.

5. Family Values- has to share the same family values I do.

6. Political Views/Attitude Towards Materialism- I date guys who are humble/cherish what they have/are 'consciously' aware of it. He's simple/down to earth with the things he needs. I also date guys who are a bit on the altruistic side (says lots about their 'integrity').

7. Has to be at least 5'5.'' I like to be able to kiss my man standing up/looking up.. gives me a feeling of 'protectiveness.' =)

Man...
I don't fit even one of your criteria.

I try really hard at number two, but I've figures out by now (one of the only contrary facts, ironically enough) that I have no goddamned clue about my motivations/unconscious drives.
I just know when I want something.

[Nocapszy]

She calls the women I work with names for no reason.
She is too insecure and thinks every girl is trying to steal me away.
The second line is the reason for the first.

These are mighty specific.

[Rajah]

I'm going to assume that your sig is designed to reflect all of your posts.Actually, how much my partner makes means nothing to me. *shrug*

[Martoon]

Does that make me judgmental?
I don't think the word "judgmental" is relevant, when applied to dating/mate preference. No one is obligated to like or accept any particular trait in who they're attracted to or would be willing to date. If you refuse to date anyone who's middle name has an odd number of letters, that's fine. More than a little strange, but not wrong.


Hmmm, I guess this means I'd like to date someone like Martoon, except for the next point:

I really would like a guy close to my height or preferably taller, but knowing the odds of that, I would not shun someone who is shorter... unless they're only as tall as Tom Cruise. *snark*

lol. So you're saying you'd ideally like someone possessing perfect Martoonism, but you'll settle for someone a little shorter? :smile:

No Cary Grant posters.
It's a dealbreaker if she has no Cary Grant posters?

Just picturing colmena, having started dating the girl, and first seeing her apartment. He enters the front door into the living room, and is relaxed at first, with that mild curiosity one has when seeing a friend's living space for the first time. But then slowly, an uneasy, distant anxiety approaches his consciousness. Something is very wrong here, but he can't quite place what it is. The awareness of what it is pushes into his mind, but he resists. He doesn't want to know. The panic rises in him, his breath coming in short, shallow gasps, as he finally confronts the complete absence of Cary Grant posters. He struggles to maintain his composure.

"So, uh, not a bad place here. How long have you been renting?"

He tries to sound casual, detached, but the waver in his voice, the way it pitches up just a little too high at the end, betrays him. He peers around the corner into the kitchen, where the horrifying expanse of Grant-less walls continues. Abandoning all pretense of politeness, he charges down the hallway, flinging open the door to the bathroom. His panic-driven gaze scours the room frantically, but finds no relief. In desperation, he even yanks aside the shower curtain (hey, you never know), but is given only the blank grid of tile and grout, tinged with mildew.

He holds out hope for the bedroom. Yes, yes, of course! The bedroom! It will be a shrine to the Suave One! He feels silly now for his overreaction, embarrassed at his theatrics. Pushing the bedroom door aside, his eyes traverse the room's walls timidly, from right to left. Yes! There it is, centered above the bed! The poster!

Chilling paralysis seizes him, his gaze fastened to the poster with rivets of pain. His mouth opens, then closes. Opens, and closes, again. His breathing slows, and he finds his voice.

"Tom Cruise? Seriously???"



Male genitalia
Bigot.

I don't know if it's a deal breaker, but if she doesn't like me, that really puts a damper on things.
I'm afraid I'd have to go along with that one, too. If she doesn't like Lateralus, I just don't think I could be into her.

That would only be attractive if she kept them strung around her belt like Boba Fett's wookie scalps.
I don't know. Maybe I'm too easily intimidated, or risk averse, but those girls who wear belts strung with male genitalia - I shy away from them. I guess I don't trust easily.


Small butts are sad and pathetic, not happy and slapable.
lol!

Is he a total slacker with no ambition that works at a gas station and lives in his mom's basement at the age of 45?
Hey! I told you, it's not a gas station, it's a convenience store. There's a difference, okay?

Out of all the horrible human traits out there, smoking is sure getting a bad rep here.
There are certainly worse things than smoking, but I think people tend to name that one because it's one of those concrete, easily identified things. And the obvious things (pedophile, serial rapist, etc.) are kind of a given, whereas smoking is something that some people are perfectly fine with, and some people can't handle at all. I'd have a pretty hard time with it, since I'm allergic to the smoke (burns my eyes and throat) and the smell of stale smoke on stuff makes me queasy.

[Jennifer]

lol. So you're saying you'd ideally like someone possessing perfect Martoonism, but you'll settle for someone a little shorter? :smile:

Exactly.

(Not just shorter, but even a bit slow on the uptake. :P)

I'm afraid I'd have to go along with that one, too. If she doesn't like Lateralus, I just don't think I could be into her.

:(

I don't know. Maybe I'm too easily intimidated, or risk averse, but those girls who wear belts strung with male genitalia - I shy away from them. I guess I don't trust easily.

I suppose I'd hate having girls like that poking around in my life too.

There are certainly worse things than smoking, but I think people tend to name that one because it's one of those concrete, easily identified things. And the obvious things (pedophile, serial rapist, etc.) are kind of a given, whereas smoking is something that some people are perfectly fine with, and some people can't handle at all. I'd have a pretty hard time with it, since I'm allergic to the smoke (burns my eyes and throat) and the smell of stale smoke on stuff makes me queasy.

I only deal well with smoking if it comes along with lots of cool things blowing up.

Oh well. We'll always have Hiroshima.

[Firelie]

A submissive personality, stupidity, smoking, current use and/or dealing of illegal drugs, not caring about hygiene or general cleanliness, not being interested in anything outside of the self (like the world, other people, the environment, me, etc)

[Nocapszy]

I feel a strange and probably umcharacteristic compulsion for participating in this, what I'd normally write off as idiotic.

Well anyway, I don't like being bossed around. Well by anyone, but especially not...
Let me handle my shit woman.

Also if they're an idiot.. well, if they're an idiot, there'd never have been a deal to break in the first place, because I would have either abused them for it, or exploited their stupidity in a way such that they figure that I was exploiting them, instantly and appropriately turning them off, as is often the real goal anyway.

Thats about as picky as I get except I can't tolerate ugliness. I mean.. so I'm shallow? So what? It's better than being deep, but empty.