Communication help for a recovering INTP

[Shapeless]

Hail o´brothers and sisters!

I think it is best to go a little into my biography to give you an idea of what I am asking of you.

Having always been exteremely sincere and open as a child crippled me for the jungle that was high-school. Retreating into my self I became very Introverted.

Now don´t go soft and start crying for my devestating loss of innocence in the face of a hostle world, I was more than content swiming in the vast ocean of my own mind and spending time with my close friends.

However I missed out on the invaluable lessons of rethoric and communication that my contemporeries got.

Now were I still INTP this would not realy be a problem, however, in my advanceing age (I am 23 as of last august) I am becoming more and more Extrovert (I crossed the Introvert/Extrovert line sometime this summer) and it is extremely frustrating to hit this invisible wall everytime I am in a conversation with someone else than my self.

So what I ask of you is any help/tips/advice/sorce material/etc... that you can think of that might benefit a socialy challanged person such as my self.

All right people its your time to shine...






P.S. Being dyslexic I am incapable of gaining anything from the rantings of grammar-natzies

To come to your senses, you must go out of your mind.
-Alan Watts

[Jack Flak]

INTP: If you aren't now you never were.

[Shapeless]

INTP: If you aren't now you never were.

I belive that to be true in many cases.

However sometimes people change quite alot throug the course of theyre lifes and these people may start acting differentely, for example after an accidend that a J type was the cause of (s)he might shy away from J cause of guilt assosiated with the hurting/death of other people. People may also act diffrently in different situations (people in team sports may be familiar with this, being different types in and off field).

Never the less I beleve you to be correct in assessing that I never realy was an INTP (this summer I have slowly gone from 35% introvertion - 5% Extrovertion according to the TypeLogic test).

Due to the situations in my life at the time, the path of least resistance for me was to become more Introverted. And now in my early 20´s I find that I lack certain social skills that others have learned during the absense of my Extrovertion, wich is realy hindering my growth as an ENTP.

So I humbely ask you again to post any help/hints/....

P.S. Thanks for posting. That was my first reply ever.

[Gen]

So you're saying that many people get pissed off at you because you say things that you didn't realize were going to annoy them? Don't worry, you're a normal ENTP.

[Cypocalypse]

Some hints that I can give you.

1. The extroversion/introversion dichotomy is different in psychological terminology as compared to its conventional definition. Since you claim that you're somewhere at the separation line as of the moment, better be sure that you know the distinction between the two.

For example, I would consider myself to be casually outgoing, but since I have a strong personal assertion/opinion, I would still fall as an introvert under the psychological description. I like the technical description better than the conventional one.

2. Use your strategic INTP skills to evaluate the people that you can have a chemistry with. Experience-wise, I prefer NFs because they're equally intelligent but don't have that much of a xNTJ ego. They often show up in religious/spiritual small groups.

3. In an INTP, the Ne is the trait that has appeal, considerably more so than Ti. Better jack up your Ne, as downgrading yourself to sheer sensor level is not that easy once intuition is developed. Ne is a trait that has an appeal to the sensors. Ti is the smart-ass function. I wouldn't recommend for it to be used generously in a social situation.

4. I have a hunch that for an INTP, it's easier to develop Fi than Fe, since the former reflects inner sentiments and the latter is external. Personally, my strongest congnitive processes are Ne, Ti, and Fi, and this can sometimes cause me to be mistaken as an INFP. It helps me reinforce my chemistry with NFs

5. If you're dealing with an SJ, make sure that the value that the person has under that archetype is something that you can realistically deal with. they don't usually have the broad-mindedness and flexibility that an INTP can have.

[Shapeless]

Thank you for that Cypocalypse.

So in short: Research what it means to be introverted to have the whole picture, develop my Ne and shy away from people I (iNtuetively) feel I have little or no common ground with?

Cool. Will do.

Please keep ´em comeing folks, you know you whant to.

[Jack Flak]

I've probably said all this close to a thousand times, but hey, you weren't there when I said it:

1. Types don't change. Your perception and experience will, and you will inevitably balance.

2. The numbers you got from a test are worse than meaningless. People don't test-to-type a lot of the time anyway.

3. "I don't like to explain myself."

[Jack Flak]

So you're saying that many people get pissed off at you because you say things that you didn't realize were going to annoy them? Don't worry, you're a normal ENTP.
Textbook.

[Xander]

A winning strategy for me has always been to leave uncertainty in my words. That way if people don't agree with my "insight" then unless I've been very provocative they can shift the meaning slightly (or I can if they argue) so it fits a multitude of perspectives. Being precise and limiting will get you in trouble.. lots.

Oh and I agree with Jack. I'm more extroverted now than I ever was... I'm still an INTP. I'll just talk to you on a first date ;)

[Eric B]

4. I have a hunch that for an INTP, it's easier to develop Fi than Fe, since the former reflects inner sentiments and the latter is external. Personally, my strongest congnitive processes are Ne, Ti, and Fi, and this can sometimes cause me to be mistaken as an INFP. It helps me reinforce my chemistry with NFs. I'm noticing this alot in people's Cognitive Proceseses Test results. Fe is not supposed to develop until midlife anyway, so it seems Fi is already somewhat stronger. Perhaps that stems from the "basic survival instinct" or something?

[Frank]

[QUOTE=Jack Flak;315864]I've probably said all this close to a thousand times, but hey, you weren't there when I said it:

1. Types don't change. Your perception and experience will, and you will inevitably balance.

Where is the proof of this? I have seen it written many times on these forums with conviction but have yet to see anyone demonstrate why. Could someone please point me towards the facts that support this claim.

[Jack Flak]

It's just that all the "theory" and observational data suggest it. Being that none of it is hard science though, it can't be proven.

I'll always conisder it infinitely more likely that someone was/is wrong about their type than that they're a changeling.

[Shapeless]

Here is an interesting website I found.
It is a guy SELLING a course on communication:

Communication Skills Power (http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/blog/secrets-to-talking-to-people-for-fun-and-friendship/)

and he´s giving apeticers wich I quite like.

[Shapeless]

It's just that all the "theory" and observational data suggest it. Being that none of it is hard science though, it can't be proven.

I'll always conisder it infinitely more likely that someone was/is wrong about their type than that they're a changeling.

I´d quite like to explore that further. Is there an acctive thread on type changing?