How is it like to have siblings? [Archive]

runvardh

08-25-2008, 04:55 PM

It's like having extra people in the house all the time that you are expected to interact with on a daily basis. Sometimes they are fun to deal with, sometimes they are an annoyance. Personality and parenting can change how fun or annoying they can be as well as how much you really want to interact with them. For me, being the eldest in my family, it has always meant responsability - constant responsability. Even now with almost all of them being grown up I still can't shake my sense of responsability to them...

disregard

08-25-2008, 04:56 PM

It makes you realise that other people are just as important as you are, if not more :cry:

Night

08-25-2008, 04:56 PM

If this is a joke. I am not getting it.

How very ironic.

colmena

08-25-2008, 05:05 PM

I guess it can be like a peer version of a parent.

Antisocial one

08-25-2008, 05:12 PM

How very ironic.

So you are saying that you are a bad boy?

Antisocial one

08-25-2008, 05:22 PM

runvardh

08-25-2008, 05:25 PM

I have noticed that almost always older is looking after younger ones.
By this mechanism they create emotional connection that can be good or bad.

My personality to begin with helps with giving a shit to begin with; parents and other family members just found it useful enough to exploit.

Antisocial one

08-25-2008, 05:31 PM

My personality to begin with helps with giving a shit to begin with; parents and other family members just found it useful enough to exploit.

I did not say that this can't happen. I have seen this as well.

runvardh

08-25-2008, 05:33 PM

I did not say that this can't happen. I have seen this as well.

Nor have I said you did. I was just expounding on your statement with my own experience.

Ellpell

08-25-2008, 06:13 PM

My older brothers are (probably) both T's, and they weren't too good at the whole protecting thing.

sade

08-25-2008, 07:22 PM

In thread "Birth Order and Your Type" many people say that they have brothers and sisters.
So I am asking :How is it like to have brother and/or sister ?

Also I don't have any cousins.

From a big sister's point of view:
Have you been around small children (not your own) and taken some sort of care of them? That reminds me of how it felt when I & little brother were smaller. There's no need to really educate them since they aren't yours, but you feel that need to care for them and help them in stuff. Yup, you are responsible for them, and at least my little brother has always seeked comfort and security from me. (And mom naturally.) And they're constantly trying to involve you in their things and dragging you with them.. "Look at this! Quess what that and that did! My bruises are bigger than yours!"

It's like sharing your living space, things and time with another person. In good and in bad, but since I've always had a good relationship with my brother it's more like a strange friendship. Kind of like flatmate but much much closer, since you've known them your whole life, there's no need to really hold back your comments (he knows me, I know him, so we can be brutally straight with each other) and they're trying to interfere in your things.

That was a tough question. :shock:

It really depends on parents and parenting skills too, some siblings have really competitive relationships (try living with your rival *brrr*) or simply bad. The caring can be exploited, number of things can happen.. You can also get some who'll defend you from your parents or secretly looks after you. Or an enemy.

Aimahn

08-25-2008, 07:40 PM

It's really helpful for really seeing the personality differences interact in a number of different situations. my sister is a hardcore ENFP and my introversion baffles her, she cannot be off the phone for a minute, out some where or not have people over. I guess in that sense it is really grounding in the sense you get to the see the intricacies of different perspectives on life and are forced to adjust accordingly. being the youngest it was sort of like setting your own path defiantly but at the same time also trying to get attention, trust and appreciation from everyone.

Usehername

08-25-2008, 08:31 PM

Once you reach a certain number of siblings, by necessity there becomes an awareness that life cannot possibly revolve around you, because between the piano/guitar/drum/voice lessons, the soccer/volleyball/baseball/hockey/etc.etc. practices and games and tournaments, the band concerts, the school projects that they need to meet with peers... basically you learn to become more aware of others because to meet their needs sometimes (often) you have to give up your wants (or even needs from time to time, though not usually quite as much as a parent).

Or you live in constant teenaged angst that the world is out to screw you over because you can't always get whatchya want.

colmena

08-25-2008, 08:34 PM

I'm going to go right ahead and say that having a peer living with you during development is going to make a substantial difference. It's obvious why within the subtext of life.

Kyrielle

08-26-2008, 07:11 PM

In thread "Birth Order and Your Type" many people say that they have brothers and sisters.
So I am asking :How is it like to have brother and/or sister ?

Also I don't have any cousins.

Well, my brother and I are fairly close in age. We've always been very close even though in many respects we are complete opposites. It was sort of like having a best friend around all the time when I was a kid (including all the problems that come with being around someone almost all the time). Only, since we lived in the same house and shared the same parents, when we argued we both got in the same amount of trouble and there was very little either could do to avoid the other. I guess as I've gotten older it's more like having someone who's like a facet of yourself. I just know that no matter what happens, my brother will always be there to help me (and vice versa).

Tallulah

08-26-2008, 07:27 PM

My sister is only four years younger, so I didn't have to be a second parent to her, and we were never in the same schools at the same time, so there wasn't a rivalry. I think part of the cool thing about having a sibling is that you feel safe around them, so there's not the social factor of having to look cool for your friends. And you realize that, even when you fight, you're still going to be there for each other. No one's going anywhere, and you still have each other's back. It's also really cool to have someone that has the exact same upbringing that you do. You share a lot of the same experiences and memories.

runvardh

08-26-2008, 07:33 PM

Off Topic: Tallulah, your title suddenly makes me want to play Guitar Hero... :doh:

murkrow

08-26-2008, 07:48 PM

There is nothing in the world I am more grateful for than having a brother.

People who are born without siblings really lose out on one of the greatest potential relationships available.

I have very little respect for my parents and I have found the bond of family almost entirely in my relationship with my brother.

One of the interesting things to come out of MBTI for me is the discovery that my brother is my shadow type. We have all the same functions but use them entirely differently.

Only children are at a great disadvantage when it comes to developing trust and teamwork capabilities.

My brother is my eternal critic, the person who knows me best.

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 07:52 PM

I'm the youngest. ISTJ half-sis (7 years older) and ENFP twin (1 minute older).

Yes, I get up to way more trouble than they do (typical "baby of the family" reaction?). I'm more hot-headed. I try to emulate them sometimes when I don't want to erupt.

murkrow

08-26-2008, 07:55 PM

Do babies usually get up to more trouble?

My younger brother is more of the achiever and crowd pleaser, it's like he's trying to make up for the hard time I've given everyone.

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 08:03 PM

The youngest are supposed to have some sort of pathological Titan complex. Personally, I think it might have merit, but then again, I'm ENFJ and we're already Zorg, no matter where we fall in the queue. I'd be the most ridiculous, petulant and hard to manage no matter what. When my ISTJ sis and ENFP twin are in the same room, things can get awkward because without ISTJ around, ENFP falls into "leader" roll. When ISTJ is there, the roles get shuffled back and forth. Almost a power struggle.

I can imagine an ISFP attempting to smooth things over regardless of birth order.

murkrow

08-26-2008, 08:07 PM

I thought ENFJs were take charge.

I wonder what it's like to be Ni taking the backseat to an ISTJ.

Do you have any creative or professional relationships with your siblings?

substitute

08-26-2008, 08:16 PM

I was the middle of 5, but the older two were much older (6+ years) and left home by the time I was entering my teens. I never felt responsible for my younger siblings. I sometimes used to feel like I had to act as a barrier between my youngest sister and second youngest, who hugely resented having been ousted from her place as the baby of the family and expressed this resentment violently as often as she could.

But I don't think that was because of any feeling of responsibility to them per se, as much as just something I'd instinctively have done, just protecting the weak from the malevolent strong, kinda thing.

Crowded, is how it felt to me as a kid. Lots of us, lots of competition for parental attention, affection and other resources. Being not the oldest meant never having my own clothes - always hand-downs. It also meant yeah, having to learn to tolerate other people very different from yourself and learn to live with other people. Learning how to share, what matters, what is and isn't worth arguing over or clinging to.

Also in my case, it meant that things like privacy and a sense of things being 'mine' never really evolved in my head. I couldn't afford to be too attached to things because there was a fairly high chance that a sibling might comandeer it, break it, whatever. And there was no point expecting privacy so whatever I had to do I learned to not care who was listening or watching. Very much an open door policy, which has continued into my adult life... I actually take doors off, physically, because to this day i feel like when they're closed, I dunno, it doesn't feel like privacy to me but an unwelcome sorta shut-off-ness. When I stay in hotels and stuff I always leave my room door ajar, too.

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 08:24 PM

I thought ENFJs were take charge.

We generally are, but I'm out-gunned by an ENFP (who's much better spatially and can read our environment with amazing accuracy) and an ISTJ juggernaut. I like to defer to them because my Fe prefers to follow and be harmonious with family members whenever possible. Granted, in most other arenas, the Fe/Ni one-two punch is fully operational. My twin has the ability to grasp at least pieces of the present moment, some residual S that works to her advantage. I haven't got any, at least none that works without hitting it with shock paddles.

I wonder what it's like to be Ni taking the backseat to an ISTJ.

I frequently feel as if my Ni is outclassed by Si and Ne. Seriously. Try taking down an Ne-primary Feeler. It's almost impossible. And the STJ? I'm toast. I don't stand up well against S-primaries. I have no grasp of the present or the physical, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel. ISTJ sis loves me but I know she thinks I'm more than a little "retarded" and impractical.

Do you have any creative or professional relationships with your siblings?

Both. We all used to collaborate on various projects. My sisters are very creative people. ENFP twin is a fabulous editor too. She'll take up one of my drawings and find exactly what works and what doesn't, and then waits out my artistic pencil-flinging displays of exasperation.

Little Linguist

08-26-2008, 08:37 PM

We generally are, but I'm out-gunned by an ENFP (who's much better spatially and can read our environment with amazing accuracy) and an ISTJ juggernaut. I like to defer to them because my Fe prefers to follow and be harmonious with family members whenever possible. Granted, in most other arenas, the Fe/Ni one-two punch is fully operational. My twin has the ability to grasp at least pieces of the present moment, some residual S that works to her advantage. I haven't got any, at least none that works without hitting it with shock paddles.

I frequently feel as if my Ni is outclassed by Si and Ne. Seriously. Try taking down an Ne-primary Feeler. It's almost impossible. And the STJ? I'm toast. I don't stand up well against S-primaries. I have no grasp of the present or the physical, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel. ISTJ sis loves me but I know she thinks I'm more than a little "retarded" and impractical.

Both. We all used to collaborate on various projects. My sisters are very creative people. ENFP twin is a fabulous editor too. She'll take up one of my drawings and find exactly what works and what doesn't, and then waits out my artistic pencil-flinging displays of exasperation.

Dude, I'm starting to seriously consider whether or not I'm an ENFJ. I'm definitely a spatial idiot!!!!!! And - hmm - your description sounds like me!!!!

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 08:43 PM

Dude, I'm starting to seriously consider whether or not I'm an ENFJ. I'm definitely a spatial idiot!!!!!! And - hmm - your description sounds like me!!!!

I have the unfortunate inheritance of my father's dead Se. He and I both seem to employ Si much more efficiently but it's still not great. He tends to get mired in his S function while I try to slap mine out of a coma (rarely works...). ENFPs seem to have an inherent ability to use their S function. Same goes for many ENTJs I've known. They just seem to "get it" whatever "it" is.

Last night, to show her who's boss, I got a bunch of Sis's clean t-shirts in my teeth and started trying to rip them, RRR!!!. It was kinda hilarious. She said "Why thank you, Pink! I needed those shirts folded! Good job! All right, now, go to bed, Napoleon!"

See what I'm up against?! :D

Little Linguist

08-26-2008, 09:04 PM

I have the unfortunate inheritance of my father's dead Se. He and I both seem to employ Si much more efficiently but it's still not great. He tends to get mired in his S function while I try to slap mine out of a coma (rarely works...). ENFPs seem to have an inherent ability to use their S function. Same goes for many ENTJs I've known. They just seem to "get it" whatever "it" is.

Last night, to show her who's boss, I got a bunch of Sis's clean t-shirts in my teeth and started trying to rip them, RRR!!!. It was kinda hilarious. She said "Why thank you, Pink! I needed those shirts folded! Good job! All right, now, go to bed, Napoleon!"

See what I'm up against?! :D

Wait, I have an S function??? *hunts around*

murkrow

08-26-2008, 09:05 PM

I frequently feel as if my Ni is outclassed by Si and Ne. Seriously. Try taking down an Ne-primary Feeler. It's almost impossible. And the STJ? I'm toast. I don't stand up well against S-primaries. I have no grasp of the present or the physical, so it's like shooting fish in a barrel. ISTJ sis loves me but I know she thinks I'm more than a little "retarded" and impractical.
Hm... I agree with you on the frustration in dealing with ENFPs, but do they ever actually convince you of anything or just refuse to agree?

Oh shit, I just realized you have Ti only... and it's last!

Both. We all used to collaborate on various projects. My sisters are very creative people. ENFP twin is a fabulous editor too. She'll take up one of my drawings and find exactly what works and what doesn't, and then waits out my artistic pencil-flinging displays of exasperation.

I figured that if there were any similarities between ENTJ and ENFJ they would show in the creative sphere, but I guess Ni doesn't count for much.

Does your twin respect the vision and intention of your art or just take what she sees is good in it and focus on that?

I have the unfortunate inheritance of my father's dead Se. He and I both seem to employ Si much more efficiently but it's still not great. He tends to get mired in his S function while I try to slap mine out of a coma (rarely works...). ENFPs seem to have an inherent ability to use their S function. Same goes for many ENTJs I've known. They just seem to "get it" whatever "it" is.

Last night, to show her who's boss, I got a bunch of Sis's clean t-shirts in my teeth and started trying to rip them, RRR!!!. It was kinda hilarious. She said "Why thank you, Pink! I needed those shirts folded! Good job! All right, now, go to bed, Napoleon!"

See what I'm up against?! :D

I don't think it's using the S function so much as having Ne or Te as a dominant function.

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 09:10 PM

ENTJ bf Athena thinks her Ni is useless, relies heavily on her very strong Te. Te falls 8th in my function line. Apparently I rarely employ it. The harshness of Fe can seem T at times, esp when it's locked on target and homing.

ENFP sis understands fully what I'm after artistically speaking and helps to focus my high-octane Fe energy.

You feel it's not so much S for you as an ENTJ and more Te-intensive?

murkrow

08-26-2008, 09:20 PM

ENTJ without Ni is... not pretty.

Yeah, I think my grounding in "what is" has to do more with Te than Se, even when I'm engaged in abstract thought I'm dealing with consistent and solid ideas.

PinkPiranha

08-26-2008, 11:06 PM

kelric

08-27-2008, 12:50 AM

In thread "Birth Order and Your Type" many people say that they have brothers and sisters.
So I am asking :How is it like to have brother and/or sister ?

I have one sister, a twin (she's 4 minutes older, but I don't think it made any difference for us). We've lived in distant places for almost 15 years now, so it's not the same as for most siblings who still have an active presence in each others' lives, but the thing that sticks out the most to me is sharing an innate understanding of experiences that we had growing up - the things that, in large part, shaped us. She doesn't need to wonder or ask where I'm coming from - she just knows, and even though we aren't in frequent contact, it doesn't take much to reconnect. Like an old friend, but much more so - that's special. There was a little bit of sibling rivalry, we argued as teenagers, but all in all I don't know who I'd be without her.

Having said that, we've sort of grown apart over the years. We're very different people, with different interests and activities and lives that really overlap only in the past. We talk about twice a year... maybe, and as easy as it is to reconnect, sometimes there's not a whole lot to say. Not sure, if anything, what to do about that. But I have no doubt that we'd have each others' backs when and if it came down to it.

Typologically, we're opposites. Which means about what you'd expect - very different interests and skills.

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 01:01 AM

Hm... I agree with you on the frustration in dealing with ENFPs, but do they ever actually convince you of anything or just refuse to agree?

I'd love to know what sort of ENFP's you've had to deal with, because they sound really unpleasant. Me and ENTJ bestfriend have only seriously fought maybe two or three times in the entire span of our relationship. Disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing seems obtuse and counterproductive to me.

Does your twin respect the vision and intention of your art or just take what she sees is good in it and focus on that?

I think she's one of the most brilliant and creative people I've ever met. How lucky am I?! :)

I have one sister, a twin (she's 4 minutes older, but I don't think it made any difference for us). We've lived in distant places for almost 15 years now, so it's not the same as for most siblings who still have an active presence in each others' lives, but the thing that sticks out the most to me is sharing an innate understanding of experiences that we had growing up - the things that, in large part, shaped us. She doesn't need to wonder or ask where I'm coming from - she just knows, and even though we aren't in frequent contact, it doesn't take much to reconnect. Like an old friend, but much more so - that's special. There was a little bit of sibling rivalry, we argued as teenagers, but all in all I don't know who I'd be without her.

Having said that, we've sort of grown apart over the years. We're very different people, with different interests and activities and lives that really overlap only in the past. We talk about twice a year... maybe, and as easy as it is to reconnect, sometimes there's not a whole lot to say. Not sure, if anything, what to do about that. But I have no doubt that we'd have each others' backs when and if it came down to it.

Typologically, we're opposites. Which means about what you'd expect - very different interests and skills.

Wow - does it not feel a bit hollow inside for you, to not have her in closer contact? I can't even imagine what it would be like not having Pink in constant contact with me. Having a twin is a tremendous emotional blessing and a burden - I don't worry about anyone's well-being as much as I do over her's. Perhaps there's a difference in being identical rather than fraternal. Perhaps you feel more like separate entities as a result?

kelric

08-27-2008, 01:59 AM

Wow - does it not feel a bit hollow inside for you, to not have her in closer contact? I can't even imagine what it would be like not having Pink in constant contact with me. Having a twin is a tremendous emotional blessing and a burden - I don't worry about anyone's well-being as much as I do over her's. Perhaps there's a difference in being identical rather than fraternal. Perhaps you feel more like separate entities as a result?

I wouldn't say hollow, really. We probably fall more along the lines of "brother and sister who happen to be the same age" than "twin psychic link". Do I like seeing her? Absolutely. Do we have a good time, enjoy talking, etc.? Sure (at least, speaking for myself :D). But growing up, although our circles of friends overlapped a bit, once we started school we tended to do our own thing, were interested in different things, etc. Now we *were* frequently in the same classes in school, worked in the same place during high school, did the same sorts of sports, etc. but it wasn't really like we were "a team" doing any of those things. Part of that was playing off of each other - if one of us tried something and liked it, the other would be more likely to consider it, etc. But we didn't necessarily do any of it as a unit (I know that's not the word I'm looking for, but it's as close I could come). We went to college together and saw each other relatively frequently then, but our lives didn't really overlap much at all. Then I wound up moving out here, she got married and moved to Seattle-area, and things just sort of went that way.

I do think that part of it may be being a fraternal twin as opposed to an identical one, but the gap's probably significantly widened being male/female twins, too. And as much as I sort of shy away from invoking MBTI, I think that made a difference too. We just do and enjoy very different things, which led us to "go our own ways" quite a bit once we were out of school. I'm a quiet, bookish, solitary type, whereas she's much more socially active and enjoys joining alumni/church/dance groups, etc.

Having said all of that, and understanding that my "twin experience" (although saying that sounds sort of silly :D) is pretty different from that of most identical twins I've known over the years, it's still important to me. I still unconsciously answer questions like "how old are you" with "We're X years old, " and even although it's been a long time since we saw each other on a day-to-day basis, there's a part of me that sort of considers myself linked to her and her life, even if only in a non-literal sense.

Anyway, probably more of a long-winded answer than you were looking for, but there ya go :)

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 02:07 AM

Anyway, probably more of a long-winded answer than you were looking for, but there ya go :)

No, not at all. I don't think any twin relationships can be summed up in just a few words. If it wasn't long winded, I would be concerned. :D

You said she was your shadow type? That would make her an... ESTJ? ESFJ? Those types do love joining civic and social groups, etc. so that would make sense.

I agree with you about MBTI typing as well. It does make a difference what sorts of functions you may share, affecting how you communicate, and the things you might be drawn to. I'm lucky that Pink is an ENFJ, so we get along wonderfully. Well, we grouse at each other a lot, but it's always with the intention of understanding each other. And we got the "knock down, drag out, hamsters tearing at each other's eyes" kind of fighting when we were kids. :D

Do you have any other siblings? We have an older ISTJ sister, and our relationship with her has been extremely trying.

murkrow

08-27-2008, 02:15 AM

Can you describe what happens when your Ni breaks down? I'm interested to know because Athena was asking me about it just a few days ago and wanted specifically to understand what Ni does for her (other than get run over, in her opinion...).

When my Ni breaks down? What do you mean exactly? When I'm unable to intuit anything on a subject?

Hm...

Well I sort of criticize aimlessly at that point. I work on whatever there is in front of me with the only direction available being refinement, but I will often also just lose interest. Eventually criticism provides enough understanding of the subject that my Ni fires back up.

I think I'm a bit more intuitive than the average ENTJ though.

I'd love to know what sort of ENFP's you've had to deal with, because they sound really unpleasant. Me and ENTJ bestfriend have only seriously fought maybe two or three times in the entire span of our relationship. Disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing seems obtuse and counterproductive to me.

I don't think they consciously disagree only to disagree, but their bullheaded dedication to good and evil seems to stop them from doing anything calmly.

I have a serious lack of faith in the self monitoring capabilities (as well as the self awareness) of people dominated by perceptive functions (EPs and IJs).

murkrow

08-27-2008, 02:17 AM

I wouldn't say hollow, really. We probably fall more along the lines of "brother and sister who happen to be the same age" than "twin psychic link". Do I like seeing her? Absolutely. Do we have a good time, enjoy talking, etc.? Sure (at least, speaking for myself :D). But growing up, although our circles of friends overlapped a bit, once we started school we tended to do our own thing, were interested in different things, etc. Now we *were* frequently in the same classes in school, worked in the same place during high school, did the same sorts of sports, etc. but it wasn't really like we were "a team" doing any of those things. Part of that was playing off of each other - if one of us tried something and liked it, the other would be more likely to consider it, etc. But we didn't necessarily do any of it as a unit (I know that's not the word I'm looking for, but it's as close I could come). We went to college together and saw each other relatively frequently then, but our lives didn't really overlap much at all. Then I wound up moving out here, she got married and moved to Seattle-area, and things just sort of went that way.

I do think that part of it may be being a fraternal twin as opposed to an identical one, but the gap's probably significantly widened being male/female twins, too. And as much as I sort of shy away from invoking MBTI, I think that made a difference too. We just do and enjoy very different things, which led us to "go our own ways" quite a bit once we were out of school. I'm a quiet, bookish, solitary type, whereas she's much more socially active and enjoys joining alumni/church/dance groups, etc.

Having said all of that, and understanding that my "twin experience" (although saying that sounds sort of silly :D) is pretty different from that of most identical twins I've known over the years, it's still important to me. I still unconsciously answer questions like "how old are you" with "We're X years old, " and even although it's been a long time since we saw each other on a day-to-day basis, there's a part of me that sort of considers myself linked to her and her life, even if only in a non-literal sense.

Anyway, probably more of a long-winded answer than you were looking for, but there ya go :)

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry: :cry::cry:

kelric

08-27-2008, 02:28 AM

You said she was your shadow type? That would make her an... ESTJ? ESFJ? Those types do love joining civic and social groups, etc. so that would make sense.

I agree with you about MBTI typing as well. It does make a difference what sorts of functions you may share, affecting how you communicate, and the things you might be drawn to. I'm lucky that Pink is an ENFJ, so we get along wonderfully. Well, we grouse at each other a lot, but it's always with the intention of understanding each other. And we got the "knock down, drag out, hamsters tearing at each other's eyes" kind of fighting when we were kids. :D

Do you have any other siblings? We have an older ISTJ sister, and our relationship with her has been extremely trying.

Heh Heh - yes, she's an ESfJ. We're both pretty even on the T/F thing, really, but pretty dissimilar on the other characteristics. She's a CPA (which I would absolutely hate - I'm lucky to have a few in the family :)), and knew that's what she wanted to do when we were about... hmm... 12? I, on the other hand, have wavered quite a bit :D. All in all, we're a pretty good example of people growing up in a similar environment turning out completely differently. I agree on the communication differences too - we don't necessarily have trouble talking, but it's sort of "huh.. what to talk about", and tend not to approach things the same way.

In retrospect, we always got along pretty well, really. A bit of bickering as teenagers, but that's probably not too unusual. We don't have any siblings - just the two of us (Mom and Dad wanted two kids, and got them both at once :D). So we never really had the older/younger dynamic in our family.

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 02:31 AM

I don't think they consciously disagree only to disagree, but their bullheaded dedication to good and evil seems to stop them from doing anything calmly.

I have heard this reasoning before, only it was when I was disagreeing with an ENTJ who was in organized crime, and was trying to make me his woman, so I kind of took it with a grain of salt. lol

I have a serious lack of faith in the self monitoring capabilities (as well as the self awareness) of people dominated by perceptive functions (EPs and IJs).

In general, I would agree with you. There is a self monitoring problem with those of us who have no reason to be disciplined about our behavior. I learned very early on that emotional discipline was imperative to functioning like a smart human being, thanks to ESTJ parenting. So I don't get sloppy with my feelings, but I can see the temptation to do it with other EP types.

murkrow

08-27-2008, 02:39 AM

In general, I would agree with you. There is a self monitoring problem with those of us who have no reason to be disciplined about our behavior. I learned very early on that emotional discipline was imperative to functioning like a smart human being, thanks to ESTJ parenting. So I don't get sloppy with my feelings, but I can see the temptation to do it with other EP types.

I don't doubt that you've got self control, it's consistency and application of understanding which I'm skeptical of.

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 02:47 AM

I don't doubt that you've got self control, it's consistency and application of understanding which I'm skeptical of.

I would say that application of understanding I've got no problems with, but the consistency thing could grab at me at the oddest moments. It's a trait about my type that I'm not a fan of, and I struggle with it sometimes.

murkrow

08-27-2008, 02:56 AM

Have you ever said something like "Technically that's true, but..."?

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 03:04 AM

Have you ever said something like "Technically that's true, but..."?

If that statement were taken away from me, I might have trouble talking coherently. lol

Ack. Now that it's been pointed out, I feel the need to correct my behavior. Thanks a lot. More work for me. :cheese:

Jack Flak

08-27-2008, 03:17 AM

I'm the youngest. ISTJ half-sis (7 years older) and ENFP twin (1 minute older).
Identical? I had a theory that genetic identity resulted in the same type. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS FULL OF IT

murkrow

08-27-2008, 03:28 AM

Identical? I had a theory that genetic identity resulted in the same type. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS FULL OF IT

Both of them.

LadyJaye

08-27-2008, 03:35 AM

Identical? I had a theory that genetic identity resulted in the same type. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS FULL OF IT

We're the trial run on a group of elite clones, engineered by the Canadian government as the start of a program to take over the US.

Both of them.

We have been accused of being Full of it. Whatever "it" is. I'm just going to accept it as a compliment on our superiority. :D

CharmedFantasy

08-27-2008, 03:49 AM

I only have one brother that is one year older than me(and he's INTJ I think). However, we grew up in different sides of the family.. :/ so I think that's the biggest difference in how we were raised before we were sent back to our parents. In a way I feel like my brother is a tyrant and mean at times! I have to listen to what he says and he thinks he's always right, and since I'm his little sister I must listen to him and I'm always wrong.. Always needs to know my business.. but he doesn't need to tell me his. I guess he's just really protective of me because I'm his younger sister(acts like he's my parent). Anyway, I think our relationship is pretty close compared to other siblings. We can talk about some problems we have or new ideas, hang out together sometimes and we even played video games together. We are close, but not entirely close that we can tell eachother everything :/ still feel awkward and I don't think we'd understand eachother completely. We'd get into arguments if we stay around eachother too much o.O .. which is why I tend to avoid talking to him about certain things or even about anything and stay quiet. I dunnno o.o sometimes I really hate my brother and sometimes I really like him. Its a love/hate relationship lol.

murkrow

08-27-2008, 04:05 AM

Trinity

08-27-2008, 04:28 AM

People who are born without siblings really lose out on one of the greatest potential relationships available.

:yes:

Sisters are the best, they are friends that I know no matter what I do I'll never lose their love or loyalty :wubbie:

CharmedFantasy

08-27-2008, 04:45 AM

Your brother sounds like a real cunt.

You should confront him on his acting parental.

Fuck that.

I do lol :p but he justifies himself by saying, it's because you're my little sister.. I mean I know his intentions are good, just sometimes it really gets on my nerves and he can be so mean. >.> at least he cares I think.

/nods at Trinity's comment. Wish I had a sister, wonder what that would have been like. Would be cool to talk some girl stuff! I can't do that with my bro lol, awwwkwaaard XD

murkrow

08-27-2008, 04:46 AM

you should flip it on him and act like his parent

alcea rosea

08-27-2008, 09:37 PM

In thread "Birth Order and Your Type" many people say that they have brothers and sisters.
So I am asking :How is it like to have brother and/or sister ?

Also I don't have any cousins.

It's nice (if you get along with your siblings) because it's the longest relationship in your life (if you are still in contact when older).

I have lots of cousins. LOTS of them and I love to see them every now and then. It's interesting and fun.

Antisocial one

08-27-2008, 10:37 PM

As I've suspected for many years, having a sibling or cousin is important for emotional and social development.

From the start I was uberintrovert and there was no one to balance me. In the end I was raised by a machine.
Actually I turned out just fine if you sum up all factors.

GargoylesLegacy

11-03-2008, 12:29 AM

Hm, unfortunately I was never REALLY close to them, somehow, so most of the Time they were just "Persons" for me.
The only Thing I recall is, when I was much younger, I used to defend the smallest Brother (I was the oldest, and also the only Female) from the middle one. Also, I lived in the same House as my Cousins...all 3 of them Guys too. *lol*

I guess having Siblings is like Everything in Life: Sometimes it is cool, and sometimes it sucks. :D

erinavery

11-03-2008, 12:52 AM

a bit like being split in fourths...for me...i feel like i care as much about their well being as i do my own

Eryndil

11-03-2008, 01:03 AM

It depends on the sibling. My oldest brother (4 years older) had various problems when we were kids and he deliberately made my life miserable whenever he could. My other brother (2 years older) was the opposite and he tried to look after me, played games with me, supported me etc - I looked up to him a lot. Now we all get along well, although we don't see each other often.

I value the relationship and am glad to have both of them as brothers. However, I am still working out the personal issues that I developed as a result of my oldest brother's behaviour. So, there can be advantages and disadvantages to having siblings.