Nature Vs. ThatGirl

[ThatGirl]

Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.

So I am no genius but I can tell when patterns begin to hold innconsistancies. Lately it seems like nature has had it in for me.

In the last month, (after years of no problems), I have encountered:

1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.

2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.

3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.

4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.

5. Had to trap three lizards.

6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.


WTF. Is nature out to get me?

[Jack Flak]

Nature, or paranoid schizophrenia?

[ThatGirl]

Possibly a combination of both.

Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*

[Jack Flak]

Possibly a combination of both.

Maybe the big one is comming! *off to make my sandwhich sign*
Uh, which sign? I kid, I kid.

[ThatGirl]

right then....carry on....

[runvardh]

That's funny! For me even mosquitos are leary of biting me. I also have a habit of staring at squirrels as if they're my next meal so they give me my space. Even crows make sure they're fairly high up a tree before they dream of cawing at me. The only local fauna I haven't had interactions with are cougars, grizzlies, and wolves - the rest either love me or keep a respectful distance.

[reason]

WTF. Is nature out to get me?Wow. It's like that movie, Final Destination, but without the plane crash and old black guy with the coarse voice.

[murkrow]

Kill the mice yet?

[JAVO]

Ok! It is no secret that nature and I have never mixed well. I am that girl that everyone says what a good dog they have and then it is nipping at my ankles. Thank God for domesticated structures.

:rofl1:

This is funny, but I'm going to pick it apart in the spirit of gool old NT fun and humor.... :D


1. A pack of "killer" squirles line up in fron of me at random. At least ten all on their hind legs staring right at me.
Not normal behavior at all indeed! Someone had obviously been feeding them. Were you eating at the time or carrying food?

2. I had a bird perch on the awning above me and throw wood chips at my head.
Maybe there was a nest nearby it was "defending." I suggest a simple hat as an adequate defense. :yes: Besides, the bird was actually being nice to you. They've been known to engage in certain *ahem* "biological warfare" tactics. :ninja:

3. I had a recent family of mice take up residence in my home. I found out when I woke up to one on my bed. These are agressive rodents.
That is strange, but you probably won't deny that your bed is the warmest coziest place in the house. It's also a sign you need to seal any external openings which are large enough to fit a pencil eraser with expanding foam sealant. :yes:

4. I almost killed my dog. That no one even knew existed until it was injured.
Good going, ya cruel, cold-hearted NT! :steam: Care to share any incriminating details? Some of us balance our N with our T you know. :whistling:

5. Had to trap three lizards.
Why? Were you hungry? :D

Sealing for the mice should seal out the Reptilians.

6. Was bit by a poisionous spider that released neurotoxins.
Ouch. Black widow in a pile of firewood perhaps? That's a classic hideout for them.

WTF. Is nature out to get me?
No, but your fear and lack of understanding of it has already gotten you. ;) :D

Edit: By the way, if you think you have problems now, just remember that nature could get even scarier (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nature-wildlife-outdoors/7557-bigfoot-body-found.html).

[ThatGirl]

Running total:

Nature: Billions
Thatgirl:...2...and counting

Nature log:

I haven't slept well in days. At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know. What does it hold? This is messing with my mind. Any time I feel the wind gently brush across me arm I jump in fright. Am I loosing my grip? I woke in the morning to find a scratch on my neck. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. Was it them? They must die. I fear the worst. Rabies.... the Plauge. I am watching myself for signs of erratic behavior........it is not looking good. I stand tall and shout to nature "Can't we just agree to disagree?!" As I rock myself to sleep I repeat to myself "battles my friend, not war" I must win.........must.


Stupid mice with their "I am so cool I can collapse my skeleton and invade your dwelling!" attitude. Technically they were dead the second they decided to enter my unit.

[ThatGirl]

:rofl1:

This is funny, but I'm going to pick it apart in the spirit of gool old NT fun and humor.... :D



Not normal behavior at all indeed! Someone had obviously been feeding them. Were you eating at the time or carrying food?


Maybe there was a nest nearby it was "defending." I suggest a simple hat as an adequate defense. :yes: Besides, the bird was actually being nice to you. They've been known to engage in certain *ahem* "biological warfare" tactics. :ninja:


That is strange, but you probably won't deny that your bed is the warmest coziest place in the house. It's also a sign you need to seal any external openings which are large enough to fit a pencil eraser with expanding foam sealant. :yes:


Good going, ya cruel, cold-hearted NT! :steam: Care to share any incriminating details? Some of us balance our N with our T you know. :whistling:


Why? Were you hungry? :D

Sealing for the mice should seal out the Reptilians.


Ouch. Black widow in a pile of firewood perhaps? That's a classic hideout for them.


No, but your fear and lack of understanding of it has already gotten you. ;) :D

Edit: By the way, if you think you have problems now, just remember that nature could get even scarier (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nature-wildlife-outdoors/7557-bigfoot-body-found.html).


Brilliant!:)

[JAVO]

At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know.

Are you sure you're not an ENFJ? :thelook: I like ENFJ's, but they are typically the most likely to have a fear or dislike of the outdoors. :)

I think your perception is clouded and biased against nature by the smog of civilization. :) Really, nature is an interesting and fun challenge just like anything else in life to be explored.

You should try sleeping out under the stars (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/205888-post231.html) or in the wilderness (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/235170-post295.html) (photos here (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/240098-post303.html)) sometime. :)

[runvardh]

How has your mouse problem been going? I know a few pointers on how to keep them at bay. Are you squeamish?

[Oberon]

I haven't slept well in days. At night I can hear the sounds of nature closing in upon me. As though at any moment I will come to understand the meaning behind these random events. I am not sure that I want to know. What does it hold? This is messing with my mind. Any time I feel the wind gently brush across me arm I jump in fright. Am I loosing my grip? I woke in the morning to find a scratch on my neck. I could have sworn it wasn't there before. Was it them? They must die. I fear the worst. Rabies.... the Plauge. I am watching myself for signs of erratic behavior........it is not looking good. I stand tall and shout to nature "Can't we just agree to disagree?!" As I rock myself to sleep I repeat to myself "battles my friend, not war" I must win.........must.


Stupid mice with their "I am so cool I can collapse my skeleton and invade your dwelling!" attitude. Technically they were dead the second they decided to enter my unit.

We're watching you.

With our beady little eyes, we're watching you.

:yes:

[JAVO]

Now the mice have even crept into your thread! You cannot escape.

:laugh:

[runvardh]

We're watching you.

With our beady little eyes, we're watching you.

:yes:

You and your other furry friends better be warey if she decides to take my advice... ;)

[Oberon]

Oooh, we're, like, SO scared!

Go poop in a sandbox, fleabag!

[runvardh]

Oooh, we're, like, SO scared!

Go poop in a sandbox, fleabag!

*hiss*

[ThatGirl]

Nature Log:

After putting abundant sticky traps all over the house I started to become connfident that my problem would finally be sloved and nature and I could once again live peacefully. After a half good night sleep I awoke with enthusiasm at the thought of chucking the mice over the back fence but was extremly dissapointed to find that the traps, though moved, remained vacant.

To get the thought out of my head for a while I accompanied a friend to the corner market with the intention of quenching my increasingly annoying thirst and bouncing ideas off of her to gain clarity. It wasn't until I shouted in the middle of the store that "Real friends risk the chance of Rabies!" that I recieved the weird look giving away the fact that the mice must have gotten to her before I did. I began to sweat but didn't blow my cover that I knew. Then she did something unexpected. She bought me my ten shot espresso coffee so that I could regain my strength. After deliberation I have decided that she has not turned, but am watching her closely.

I have started to reconsider plans for more aggressive tactics. After mulling over the information regarding foam sealant the answer became clear. I have now located a proffesional pair of infrared goggles and my best winter fur. The plan is to sit silently disguised in a dark room decorated with various gormet cheeses while steadily holding a shot gun. I remain opptimistic.

[runvardh]

Good old spring trap. Mash some bread into the bait holder then toast it - no burning, just toast. The toasting will hold the bread in there and make it reusable for multiple captures. I recommend placings of behind the garbage can, behind the fridge and in the pantry. I've been able to catch two mice with one trap in the space of 12 hours using this method.

[JAVO]

I've heard that peanut butter is an excellent mouse bait.

[runvardh]

I've heard that peanut butter is an excellent mouse bait.

But if they're careful they can lick it off, nibbling on the toast sets too much of a vibration.

[JAVO]

I'd bet peanut-buttered toast would be killer then! :D

[runvardh]

I'd bet peanut-buttered toast would be killer then! :D

:devil:

[ThatGirl]

Thanks for the ideas guys! I think I may have won the war...for now. I am still looking out.

By the way
I think I may have been hanging out with my ENFJ friend too long. Those posts were supposed to be a parody of thatgirl vs nature and the blair which project. See now thats why I am not a writer.

[entropie]

ENFJ friend ? Oh gosh, get rid of such things as fast as you can :)

[ThatGirl]

I intend to.

[yugyug]

You may have the mouse problem tackled, but maybe not. {realizes this increases the paranoia; still determining which side of the war to be on; decides this is a matter for the sake of both sides} You see, this is about those sticky traps that you used. Let me tell you a story about those.

I worked for a construction company whose main office was plagued with a mouse population. The head dude decided to put out sticky traps one night. The next morning, he found two traps had caught poor, defenseless little mice. {Not choosing sides here; just telling a story} His problem was that the mice were still alive. As the innocent victims cowered in fear, trying in vain to get away, he wished he'd used the spring traps that would have done the dirty work for him. He dispatched them with a strategically dropped concrete block. {RIP, little ones.}

So, unless you have a concrete block readily available, I'd suggest spring traps for sure, next time. {And, there will be a next time. BWAH HA HA!} Or, get yourself a cat ((wrings hands, evily)) to protect your neck from rabies-laced scratches, for cats like to lay across your neck in the night because of the warmth {and their secret mission is to....ahem...never mind.}