ESTP conversations

[DirtyHarry25]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?

[spirilis]

Heh, I have the EXACT same problem, and I can't say I've come up with a solution. I blame it on introversion but I'm guessing that's not it. Once the conversation's going I do more than get to the point, in fact I usually diddle-dawdle around it endlessly until I'm there, but starting the conversation is still an exercise in futility for me.

[Haphazard]

Sounds familiar... actually...

[ThatGirl]

You just started this topic. How did that happen?

[Kleinheiko]

yes, I know exactly what you mean. And coming from another SP, you can probably relate to me more than those last three NT's who posted. I try to think in advance of conversations to start. Sometimes I'll even google "conversation starters."

For me though, due to my introversion, I sometimes can't even carry on a conversation that has been started.

[Jeffster]

yes, I know exactly what you mean. And coming from another SP, you can probably relate to me more than those last three NT's who posted. I try to think in advance of conversations to start. Sometimes I'll even google "conversation starters."

For me though, due to my introversion, I sometimes can't even carry on a conversation that has been started.

For me it's like, I'll always think of the perfect thing to say when the conversation's already over and it's too late. Every once in awhile I have good timing, and then it's like people are amazed I suddenly said something really funny and timely. But a lot of the time, it takes me a few minutes and then the window is shut. I've gotten a lot better about that at work, though. My reaction time has been quicker in terms of the thoughts to speech part, haha.

[alicia91]

I'm like that too unless I have a bunch of info to tell someone who I know is interested in it or if someone tells me something interesting then I'm known to sometimes go into 'ask too many questions mode.'

I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask).

I'm extremely good at giving a summary. When someone asks where we went on vacation I'm really good at giving a brief, accurate statement. I know that I should really improve in this area, but at the same time I'm very annoyed by people who talk to much and people like my husband and best friend (both extreme Es)who tell very long-winded stories. That's really annoying IMO. I guess a happy medium would be best.

[Athenian200]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?

You're really an ESTP, right? No joke? I didn't think any would come, I figured they all had better things to do than talk to us. Hmm... you must be really bored, huh?

I know what you mean about starting topics, except that in my case it's because I'm so in my head and can't see how to push any of my ideas out into a real expression until I see something expressed (such as what someone else says) that I can use as structure for it, because it's so amorphous. It's like I have to wait for the opportunity to express it. For reference, I'm pretty sure I'm an INFJ (your shadow), but I've been typed as every IJ type.

Well, what I do is I learn about a few subjects that would appeal to a lot of people, and try to lead something they say into an area that I can say a lot about. Sometimes I just look around the room, and back over the things I've done or thought recently for something that gives me an idea of something to talk about. All I really need is a "spark," and another person to keep it going. If that makes sense.

[Schizm]

What do you mean by so tuned into your environment? I get so much stimulation from high sensory situations that I have to leave the place. Are you aware of like the whips of people's hands from across the room with your back turned? How deep does this go? Will you notice a rose petal falling form 100 feet away while someone speaks to you if you it's in your field of vision? Your type is the representative type of James Bond. I always thought that was really neat. The idea of a smooth operating sociopath.

[htb]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to.You just described the prototypical ISTP.

Congratulations, you're on the first step to recovery!

[DirtyHarry25]

You just described the prototypical ISTP.

Congratulations, you're on the first step to recovery!

I'd definitely say I'm more of an extrovert than an introvert. I love being around people, but the typical conversation bores the crap out of me. I'd rather be doing stuff with people. I like to get to the point and move on, Not sit around and talk about what could be.

[DirtyHarry25]

What do you mean by so tuned into your environment? I get so much stimulation from high sensory situations that I have to leave the place. Are you aware of like the whips of people's hands from across the room with your back turned? How deep does this go? Will you notice a rose petal falling form 100 feet away while someone speaks to you if you it's in your field of vision? Your type is the representative type of James Bond. I always thought that was really neat. The idea of a smooth operating sociopath.


That's crazy! People have told me that I remind them of Bond. I do notice things around me. I might have ADD or something. Anyways, I'm able to notice people's nonverbal cues and guess what they're going to do. And yeah, if there's something else going on while someone is talking, my attention goes toward what else is going on....not a good habit.

[entropie]

I guess it is no question of what your type is, it is more a question of what you are more intrested in.

In my professional party time, I had an eStP friend with an attention span of the speed of light. He liked me and I saw him trying hard to keep focussed, when talking to me.

His most outstanding attribute was to ask people out to the bones. Sometimes you didn't even know what to answer, because you have not thought about the question thus far.

So, according to his example, low attention span and extroverted sensory data accumulation is definitly possible. I so see no problems in having a slow attention span and not being the life of the party as it is maybe wished to be.

You just need to focus on what you have or what you want have and not to ask what you could be :).

[substitute]

ExxP's all have in common I think, the meerkat effect. You know, that thing where the slightest sound happens outside or elsewhere in the room/building and they're up on hind legs, alert and watching out - "what was that?"

And the suspected ADD/hyperactivity as well :unsure:

["?"]

You just described the prototypical ISTP.

Congratulations, you're on the first step to recovery!I'd definitely say I'm more of an extrovert than an introvert. I love being around people, but the typical conversation bores the crap out of me. I'd rather be doing stuff with people. I like to get to the point and move on, Not sit around and talk about what could be.I was on the same track as HTB originally (assuming you are quite sure that you're SP). I don't think that ESTPs have a problem initiating conversations with others, however there are some key points to consider. ESPs pick up on the nuances of a conversation better than any other type, so if there is animosity in the air, they will grasp it quickly. They're also concrete by nature and prefer discussions to things they know or have experienced to intangibles and theories. For this reason, ESTPs may tone it down a bit when needed during conversations. What you describe above is vintage ESTP, and is usually referenced to in the good type descriptions. Also ESTPs are "The Doers" of types hence the name given to them by personalitypage.com. They would prefer to doing than sitting around talking about it.

[Mondo]

I think it's a 'problem' with T's & P's rather than I's.
T's are very to-the-point and blunt while P's are well.. easily distracted mofos.

[Lukepd]

You don't sound like an ESTP to me.

[wolfy]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?

I used to have that problem. Now I just say what's in my head keep an eye on the other person and work from there.

[me_plus_one]

I never had this problem. Well, if I come to think about it, maybe a few times.
But generally, asking the person in front of you to talk about him/herself will be a good topic.

[Jack Flak]

ESTP "conversation": "FUCK FUCK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS GOD DAMN IT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OFF RIGHT NOW. SHIT. FUCKIN' PIECES OF SHIT. FUCKING ASSHOLES! *throws something on the ground* GRAAAAAAAAA! Hey, I'm not mad at you, don't worry."

[Kora]

You forget the usual clap in the back that can throw you two meters away. Yeah, that thing that they like calling 'greeting'.

[me_plus_one]

I think you forgot the traditional "I am surrounded by incompetents."

["?"]

I have found myself resonnating with ESTP descriptions quite a bit, so I would really like to hear from this type. I think that ESTPs are one of the types that may confuse themselves as introverts on a common basis since there is so much of Myers-Briggs' theory that coincides with extraverts needing to be around people.

[Lukepd]

I agree "?". ESTPs don't have to be with people all the time in order to be Extroverts. You can be extroverted at any time in your life even on the internet!

[sakuraba]

edit

[sakuraba]

ESTP's love to tell stories and share their experiences. Also enjoy sharing stories about other people, with their own exaggerations added in.


I find that when I talk with my ESTP cousin he always tends to say: "Well hey listen to this, so last week I was.............." and proceeds with a funny story

[sakuraba]

Tony Soprano is an ESTP 8w9.

Shaq another ESTP 8w9.

Most of them are 7w8 though.

[Arilee]

ESTP "conversation": "FUCK FUCK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS GOD DAMN IT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OFF RIGHT NOW. SHIT. FUCKIN' PIECES OF SHIT. FUCKING ASSHOLES! *throws something on the ground* GRAAAAAAAAA! Hey, I'm not mad at you, don't worry."
:rofl1::rofl1::rofl1::rofl1:

I reckon the INFP who works for me would relate to this one... ...

I'm not quite that bad, but this would be me when stressed or in a bad mood...

With me it depends on the situation as to whether I can start conversations or not. I'm naturally quite shy, so if i'm around people I don't know very well or aren't comfortable with I find it much more difficult to open a conversation.

If I'm comfortable in the situation or if I know what I'm talking about I am perfectly happy to start a conversation.

[booyalab]

ESTP "conversation": "FUCK FUCK THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS GOD DAMN IT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE OFF RIGHT NOW. SHIT. FUCKIN' PIECES OF SHIT. FUCKING ASSHOLES! *throws something on the ground* GRAAAAAAAAA! Hey, I'm not mad at you, don't worry."
They seem to always fall into the thinking-i-give-a-shit-about-them-trap, which annoys me. Like in your example, all of their coworkers may be enduring the same exact situation as them, but since everyone else realizes ranting about it like they're so fucking special and uniquely traumatized would only make things worse, they know how to keep their mouths shut.

In normal conversations, the everyone-gives-a-shit-about-how-fucking-special-my-mundane-life-is-syndrome amounts to talking enthusiastically and filling every otherwise peacefully silent pause with a vast array of fascinating and universally relatable topics ranging from "I like appletinis" to "my cat has a bladder infection".

[Arilee]

They seem to always fall into the thinking-i-give-a-shit-about-them-trap, which annoys me. Like in your example, all of their coworkers may be enduring the same exact situation as them, but since everyone else realizes ranting about it like they're so fucking special and uniquely traumatized would only make things worse, they know how to keep their traps shut.

In normal conversations, the everyone-gives-a-shit-about-how-fucking-special-my-mundane-life-is-syndrome amounts to talking enthusiastically and filling every otherwise peacefully silent pause with a vast array of fascinating and universally relatable topics ranging from "I like appletinis" to "my cat has a bladder infection".

For me it tends to be more of a release mechanism rather than wanting people to give a shit. (it's a bonus if they do, but it's not what I'm looking for). I find other types also vent like this on occaisions and the explosions by "I"s can be much worse than any of mine...

In normal situations as I said earlier, it depends on how comfortable I am in a situation. Although being very shy I guess I don't really suffer from the "I like appletinis" syndrome your describing.... I quite like a bit of quiet time, but if I'm around people, I have to be comfortable with them for me to be able to sit quietly - other wise I need some noise, whether that be music or the tele or random conversation, as long as it's not silence....

[am_i_evil666]

You just described the prototypical ISTP.

Congratulations, you're on the first step to recovery!

offtopic, but .....god, entjs are evil :doh:

[me_plus_one]

They seem to always fall into the thinking-i-give-a-shit-about-them-trap, which annoys me. Like in your example, all of their coworkers may be enduring the same exact situation as them, but since everyone else realizes ranting about it like they're so fucking special and uniquely traumatized would only make things worse, they know how to keep their mouths shut.
.

You are not right.
Despite ranting, they will probably be the only ones actually finding a solution.
You really have an issue with ESTP.

[DirtyHarry25]

You don't sound like an ESTP to me.

I wrote this when I was stressed out. I look back and I realized I was self-conscious at the time. Shit's better for me now

[Hmm]

I'm and ESTP and I feel like my conversations aren't as good as they should be. I'm more of the guy who gets straight to the point and doesn't give too many details (unless they ask). But my biggest thing is that I sometimes have a problem with starting topics. I'm so in-tuned to my environment that I find myself forgetting there's a person around to talk to. When someone brings up a topic, I can talk about it and run along with it. It's just starting them. Any others have this problem and what do you do?


Being a good conversationalist in general is one of the hardest social skills to learn. The first question you have to ask yourself is if you value quantity or quality more.

Also, this thread brought all of the ESTP's out of hiding. :)

[Lukepd]

I wrote this when I was stressed out. I look back and I realized I was self-conscious at the time. Shit's better for me now

Thats good to hear mate, I admit we have our dark times like everyone else. Maybe less often cause we move on quickly.

Also, this thread brought all of the ESTP's out of hiding. :)

;)