Apathy: how do you overcome it?

[InaF3157]

Give me your poor, your brilliant, your witty suggestions, yearning to help . . . me.
Christ.
Ok. Let's hear them people. When you are in a prolonged state of "just don't care", what do you do to stimulate enthusiasm for the things you at some point thought mattered?

[Trinity]

Don't know, don't care.


I need help too :(

[disregard]

I can't relate.

What's it like?

[JAVO]

Focus on something else.

If I'm apathetic about work, I do enough to get by while directing all of my energy into a new interest or friendship. This reduces my overall apathy, thus improving my motivation toward work eventually.

[InaF3157]

I can't relate.

What's it like?


I am bored with everything and not motivated to pursue any of my prior interests. I briefly get jazzed up and start doing them again but lose steam really quickly.
I cannot focus sometimes because I get jazzed about a million things that i want to do all NOW. I waste time in idle pursuits with low but immediate rewards.
I cannot be arsed to do anything of value to me, because it won't be to my liking given my low energy levels, I know. I would rather sleep.
I cannot be bothered talking to people for any length of time. I want them to wrap it up and *leave* because 1) I don't care and 2) I don't want to be made to care.

[disregard]

I am bored with everything and not motivated to pursue any of my prior interests. I briefly get jazzed up and start doing them again but lose steam really quickly and cannot focus sometimes because I get jazzed about a million things that i want to do all NOW. I waste time in idle pursuits with low but immediate rewards.
I can't be arsed to do anything of value to me. I would rather sleep.
I cannot be bothered talking to people for any length of time. I want them to wrap it up and *leave* because 1) I don't care and 2) I don't want to be made to care.

Are you working or schooling?

Productivity breeds productivity..

[InaF3157]

Are you working or schooling?

Productivity breeds productivity..
Working but in a weeks-long lull at the moment

[Wyst]

Be objective about it. Write in a journal or something about how you're feeling about it. Come back a few days later and read what you were thinking at the time. Do it every couple of days and notice any changes/patterns in what you're thinking/feeling.

JAVO's got some good advice.

When I get apathetic, it's usually because I've gotten in a slump or plateaued out. Sometimes when I throw something different into the usual mix, do something out of the ordinary instead of the same old drill that it'll help 'reboot' me.

Sometimes there's nothing I can do to fix it.
The heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes you just have to let things run their course.

[InaF3157]

Be objective about it. Write in a journal or something about how you're feeling about it. Come back a few days later and read what you were thinking at the time. Do it every couple of days and notice any changes/patterns in what you're thinking/feeling.
I do keep a journal, and it suffers from the same neglect. In one night, I will write pages upon pages and then . . . nothing. For a long time. I cannot make myself do it.


When I get apathetic, it's usually because I've gotten in a slump or plateaued out. Sometimes when I throw something different into the usual mix, do something out of the ordinary instead of the same old drill that it'll help 'reboot' me.
How do you sustain the momentum of the reboot?


Sometimes there's nothing I can do to fix it.
The heart wants what the heart wants. Sometimes you just have to let things run their course.
Ooh la la that is depressing.

[Rachelinpa]

From Office Space:

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Unhelpful, but funny!

Actually, in this fabulous movie, he just starts doing what he wants to do and makes him come alive. It's not that he doesn't care about anything, it's that he does not care about what he is expected by society to do.

Take note.

[Wyst]

I do keep a journal, and it suffers from the same neglect. In one night, I will write pages upon pages and then . . . nothing. For a long time. I cannot make myself do it.


I'm the same way. Sometimes there will be a gaps of several months to a year in my handwritten journal. But I'm usually writing something somewhere (emails to family/friends, on my blog here, or my personal blog). Whatever I'm dealing with at the time will come out there and I can go back and review it if I need to.


How do you sustain the momentum of the reboot?


Like I said, sometimes things just have to run their course. But meditating on things in a place where I'm not distracted helps me sort myself out. Sometimes staring at the ugliness of my apathy will give me the kick in the ass I need to start caring again.


Ooh la la that is depressing.

"And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world."

[InaF3157]

From Office Space:

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Unhelpful, but funny!.

OMG. I loved that line when I saw the Office. I thought it summed up 90% of my life.
Except I am kinda lazy.

From Office Space:
Actually, in this fabulous movie, he just starts doing what he wants to do and makes him come alive. It's not that he doesn't care about anything, it's that he does not care about what he is expected by society to do.

Take note.
I tried doing what I liked, but the exigencies of survival demand my attention. ;) and wear me out. Then i don't care about the work I *have* to do or the things that once got me excited.

[InaF3157]

Like I said, sometimes things just have to run their course. But meditating on things in a place where I'm not distracted helps me sort myself out. Sometimes staring at the ugliness of my apathy will give me the kick in the ass I need to start caring again.
My GP recommended meditation to me for other matters. She is not a psych and the suggestion was kinda out of the blue. I find it hard to avoid distractions, be completely quiet or relax. My head's always darting around stupid corners and alleys.
What kind of meditation do you do?

"And I think to myself.... what a wonderful an overwhelming world."
Fixed. :)

[Wyst]

I find it hard to avoid distractions, be completely quiet or relax. My head's always darting around stupid corners and alleys.
What kind of meditation do you do?


I find it hard to avoid distractions too. They happen. No way around it. I go off to a place where I can minimize the external distractions. Those are the distractions (people watching, cellphone, email and internet) that will get me off meditating.

The distractions that happen inside my mind? I don't try to constrain them. When I realize I've been on a 5-minute rabbit trail I just move it back to what I was originally thinking about.

Treating meditation/reflection with an attitude like, "Gotta think about X, gotta think about X and nothing else, gotta think about X and nothing else..." is very counterproductive for me. I try to be tolerant with myself in that regard.

[runvardh]

I get pissed off after a while and go for a walk. Suddenly I see something beautiful or pretty that makes me care again, sometimes it's girls...

[InaF3157]

I get pissed off after a while and go for a walk. Suddenly I see something beautiful or pretty that makes me care again, sometimes it's girls...

other times: catnip.
A long walk somewhere quiet helps, particularly if it is somewhere unfamiliar. I find travel reinvigorating for a similar reason, but it is not practical for me to always be on the road.

[01011010]

Regular exercise will help stabilize your mood on a chemical level.

[LostInNerSpace]

Give me your poor, your brilliant, your witty suggestions, yearning to help . . . me.
Christ.
Ok. Let's hear them people. When you are in a prolonged state of "just don't care", what do you do to stimulate enthusiasm for the things you at some point thought mattered?

This is called depression. You need to get out of the state first, then you need to absolutely refuse to allow yourself to get depressed. Go to your doc and get some antidepressants.

Then get this book:

Amazon.com: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated: David D. Burns: Books (http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-Therapy-Revised-Updated/dp/0380810336)

My GP recommended meditation to me for other matters. She is not a psych and the suggestion was kinda out of the blue. I find it hard to avoid distractions, be completely quiet or relax. My head's always darting around stupid corners and alleys.
What kind of meditation do you do?


Amazon.com: 8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. Change Your Life.: Victor Davich: Books (http://www.amazon.com/Minute-Meditation-Quiet-Mind-Change/dp/0399529950)

[runvardh]

other times: catnip.
A long walk somewhere quiet helps, particularly if it is somewhere unfamiliar. I find travel reinvigorating for a similar reason, but it is not practical for me to always be on the road.

Ahh, catnip... wherefor must I wait till love uses it again....

Yeah, I can't drive yet, but I do try to find those nice places. That reminds me, I need to get my pictures off my phone and show everyone what I found while I was in Toronto...

Regular exercise will help stabilize your mood on a chemical level.

Endorphins, dopamine, good stuff that the appropreate amount of activity produces. I like adding a little oxitocin to the mix, but I haven't had that opportunity in a while... *sigh*

[Uberfuhrer]

When I ask this question, all I'm told is to see the shrink.

[Trinity]

I am bored with everything and not motivated to pursue any of my prior interests. I briefly get jazzed up and start doing them again but lose steam really quickly.
I cannot focus sometimes because I get jazzed about a million things that i want to do all NOW. I waste time in idle pursuits with low but immediate rewards.
I cannot be arsed to do anything of value to me, because it won't be to my liking given my low energy levels interest.

I can completely relate to this ^ ^ the thing for me is its apathy not depression, I'm happy just non-productive and I'm lacking the motivation to commit to overcoming it :(

I do find writing helps understand but it doesn't bring motivation. It's rather frustrating. For now I'm trying to cut back on anything that is part of a schedule so I don't feel obligated to do anything I don't desire (besides work) and am trying to be more social as, although it can be draining, I find being around others uplifting.

[Victor]

Give me your poor, your brilliant, your witty suggestions, yearning to help . . . me.
Christ.
Ok. Let's hear them people. When you are in a prolonged state of "just don't care", what do you do to stimulate enthusiasm for the things you at some point thought mattered?

Two thousand years ago, apathy was called, "accidie".

And it was a sin. And it was a sin very close to despair which is the only sin that can't be forgiven.

However the virtue of hope corresponds to the vice of accidie or apathy.

And the way to hope is through gratitude.

I remember gratitude burst its way through to me by a group of friends I loved at University. We formed a Society and invited others to join us and they did.

I remember the very moment - it was an autumn day beside the lake and we were burying each other in leaves and taking pictures. It was as though the fullness of life was shining within me. And I was grateful.

[Martoon]

Apathy: how do you overcome it?
You make it sound like a bad thing.

[colmena]

I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nt-rationale/5487-numbness.html) was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.

[Victor]

I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nt-rationale/5487-numbness.html) was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.

Look, Colmena, I may be wrong but you strike me as a sensitive, intelligent person with some courage.

If this is true, you need to find ways of developing your sensitivity and intelligence.

The fact that you like being surrounded by stimulating people is a way for you to go. And you will find other ways as well.

I think you are a delightful person and you have my respect.

So I suggest you find ways of discovering your own delight and treating it with respect.

Victor.

[InaF3157]

Regular exercise will help stabilize your mood on a chemical level.
Yes, though I do not think I am in a bad mood most days. I am more cheerful than not . . . a cheerful numb, if such a thing can be said to exist.

This is called depression. You need to get out of the state first, then you need to absolutely refuse to allow yourself to get depressed. Go to your doc and get some antidepressants.

Then get this book:
Thanks for the suggestions. Is it still depression if you are not sad most times? It is not that I have the blues. I don't. I laugh a fair amount everyday (and keep looking for things that amuse me). I have been sad-depressed before and that was more . . . acute, and unmistakably depression.

I can completely relate to this ^ ^ the thing for me is its apathy not depression, I'm happy just non-productive and I'm lacking the motivation to commit to overcoming it :(

I do find writing helps understand but it doesn't bring motivation. It's rather frustrating. For now I'm trying to cut back on anything that is part of a schedule so I don't feel obligated to do anything I don't desire (besides work) and am trying to be more social as, although it can be draining, I find being around others uplifting.
Yes, this sounds like me, too. When I force myself to have the energy for other people, I enjoy it.

Two thousand years ago, apathy was called, "accidie".

And it was a sin. And it was a sin very close to despair which is the only sin that can't be forgiven.

However the virtue of hope corresponds to the vice of accidie or apathy.

And the way to hope is through gratitude.
Thanks for the suggestion but I am not an ingrate.


I watched The Great Dictator a few hours ago, and had to control my breathing so that I didn't burst out crying at the end.

Yet, this (http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nt-rationale/5487-numbness.html) was my thread.

What did I do?: Went to the doctors, apparently had moderate depression, and was given Prozac. I think it had a placebo effect, as I was immediately feeling better within the first two weeks, when it's not supposed to.

I think it was the kick in the but I needed to get me on a better track.

'though since going to the doctors, I haven't really had a chance to go back to my old ways. I've been surrounded by stimulating people, and haven't been stuck with my parents.
Hmm . . . but while you were depressed were you not aware that that is what it was?
*
Hoping the self-treatment works.

[colmena]

Hmm . . . but while you were depressed were you not aware that that is what it was?
*
Hoping the self-treatment works.

Was I aware it was a placebo effect? Yes. (if it was a placebo effect. I think it was). But I didn't care. I was feeling better. -I think a placebo effect is more powerful than drugs-

The mind can do weird and wonderful things, but I think a catalyst is needed if you're in a rut.

Some trade-off weighing is likely needed, of course. I'm far from out of the water, I'm just glad I have some strength of feeling again, that I can be moved and inspired.

[InaF3157]

Was I aware it was a placebo effect?
No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).

[Ilah]

No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).

Before taking medicine your GP recommends, I would talk to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Discuss you options with them, counseling with meds, just counseling, just meds, no treatment. Make sure you make an informed decision about whatever you take.

It could be depression, but it sounds more like you are just worn out by things and need a break.

Sometimes trying a new hobbie or something new can help. Some people get board with the same things and need to switch things regularly.

Ilah

[colmena]

No. Were you aware you were depressed? I ask because I am trying to see if I am misdiagnosing (apathy v. depression).

Oh I see. Sorry.

Vague. Complex. Subjective.


Are you happy?
Are you content?

:)

The disappointment with your apathy sounds like depression, to me. How long have you been apathetic? Have your circumstances changed (can you see causation)

'though obviously a therapists opinion counts for a lot more.


Yes, I would say I was depressed. The sheer contrast to how I was before suggested to me that something was very very wrong.

[InaF3157]

Oh I see. Sorry.

Vague. Complex. Subjective.


Are you happy?
Are you content?

:)

The disappointment with your apathy sounds like depression, to me. How long have you been apathetic? Have your circumstances changed (can you see causation)

'though obviously a therapists opinion counts for a lot more.


Yes, I would say I was depressed. The sheer contrast to how I was before suggested to me that something was very very wrong.

I am not sure how long I have been apathetic. Or numb more like it. I guess I just woke up and realized I have been on an even keel for a while but that it may be because the lurking alternative is a break-out of the batshit crazies. :rofl1: I kid I kid. I think. :ninja: I'm safely serenely numb. So much so that a therapist sounds like overkill. All I know is I have been more viscerally happy than I am now, and I want it back.

[colmena]

When I took literature in school, I focused on complex inference and condemned the visceral as lazy hedonism.

Perhaps in pursuing MBTI and reading about your type, you've done the very same.

I think a false, naive logic got me where I am (or where I went). I'd say the visceral is as important as the cerebral; and being around people, sharing emotion as an equal is a good way of working on it.

[InaF3157]

When I took literature in school, I focused on complex inference and condemned the visceral as lazy hedonism.

Perhaps in pursuing MBTI and reading about your type, you've done the very same.

I think a false, naive logic got me where I am (or where I went). I'd say the visceral is as important as the cerebral; and being around people, sharing emotion as an equal is a good way of working on it.
Hmm . . . I have a healthy respect for the visceral and have ever seen it as necessary if the cerebral is not to be sterile.
However, I do have antipathy to the way it is often approached or expressed. Perhaps because I have too much respect for it, interestingly enough, I find that many attempts at expression fail and it would be better to contemplate it inwardly, silently, because otherwise it gets defiled by pretenders the minute they strive to touch it. I have a somewhat similar feeling towards spirituality . . . it is an intensely personal matter and how dare anyone cheapen it with their tawdry little ostentations that are but manipulative showmanship.
I guess this is where your part about sharing comes in. And I am terrible at the sharing part. Something to look into.
Thanks. :)

[colmena]

I never meant to chew at the subjective. We all perceive and interpret things differently, but I get more peace of mind thinking about the similarities of people.

By 'sharing', I didn't mean the cheesy "let's have a sharing session." Something as simple as playing cricket with cousins can make me a little more in love with the world: A chance to be creative, to teach, to learn, and to have fun.

[Hmm]

Ooooh, good topic.

My stab at suggestions:

1. Avoid others who act apathetic. There are lots and lots of people like this and your tendency will be to gravitate towards them because they share your current beliefs, but you should actually surround yourself around the opposite type of people -- the kind that probably make you want to vomit right now.

2. Be more actively aware of the things you are taking in through your 5 senses. Make sure they are positive, rather than negative as much as possible. This is especially important with your entertainment. You have a choice of what kind of entertainment you partake in, and you should not actively choose things that desensitize you. Look for the opposite.

3. Spend time in nature. Find beautiful natural sceneries if you can and go there and meditate or appreciate the aesthetics.

4. Get a puppy.

[ygolo]

Well, you've had a lot of good suggestions. I'll try to mention something else.

I was in this state for a long time.

There are activities that I simply enjoy, but somehow even those were empty. There were several reasons.

One, I felt extrememly lonely, and most of my favorite activities were solitary. However, I was able to find people who shared interest in those activities. This helped immensley. New friends add an affirming aspect to the things we like to do. It makes it feel like the things I like are OK, because now I am also spending time with friends, and that is important.

As for work, that is still a struggle. But things have gotten much better. What are you working for? A pay-check, no matter how good, is usually not enough (unless you are in dager of losing you home, or unable to eat or something like that). Do you have a dream or life-goal that lead you to your particular line of work or your particular job?

For me, my confidence in ever reaching my dreams were rocked to the core at about the same time I broke-up with my fiancee (partly triggered by my lack of confidence). This was closely followed by a lot of upheaval at work, and some scary events at where my brother and cousin were going to school. A mystic and consultant to my family said someone had put a curse on me. In my rational mind, I didn't believe this, but that idea kept cropping up.

My motivation has grown as I regained my confidence and direction in life. In my mind, the four elements for motivation:
1) A clear uderstanding of what I am to perform, not just what results I want from acting.
2) Good compelling reason for doing what I am doing.
3) The confidence that I am equal to the tasks.
4) A clear plan or picture of how I will complete these tasks

There is a lot of stuff on the net about goal setting. They are mainly for motivation purposes.

[Ilah]

I think suggestion 1 is really good. It reminds me of some failed "support" groups I joined on line. I got sympathy, but they were all full of people talking about how bad their lives were with hardly any positive words at all. I left them because I felt worse after interaction with them than I did before.

Ilah


Ooooh, good topic.

My stab at suggestions:

1. Avoid others who act apathetic. There are lots and lots of people like this and your tendency will be to gravitate towards them because they share your current beliefs, but you should actually surround yourself around the opposite type of people -- the kind that probably make you want to vomit right now.

2. Be more actively aware of the things you are taking in through your 5 senses. Make sure they are positive, rather than negative as much as possible. This is especially important with your entertainment. You have a choice of what kind of entertainment you partake in, and you should not actively choose things that desensitize you. Look for the opposite.

3. Spend time in nature. Find beautiful natural sceneries if you can and go there and meditate or appreciate the aesthetics.

4. Get a puppy.

[pure_mercury]

Shake things up a bit. Try a new restaurant or kind of food. Take a trip to a place you've never been to before. Hang out with really enthusiastic people. Read some classic novels. Get outdoors.

[alicia91]

You've gotten a lot of great suggestions. I recommend reading books on positive thinking, self growth, and goal setting. I recently pulled myself out of quite a slump and joined the 100 Day Reality Challenge. Not sure if it's something that you'd be interested in, but it's really helping me focus on what I want and making me take the necessary steps. Most people are NFs and SPs from what I can tell, and it's a bit new agey, but if it works..?

The 100 Day Reality Challenge (http://www.cocreatingourreality.com/)

[Grayscale]

develop your ability to appreciate, then do not lose focus of it

when you experience the good of something in its boldest and most vibrant state, you'll find your motivation


it's a simple matter of your state of mind. it can make the difference between finding great passion and feeling numb... learn to alter it.

[IlyaK1986]

How do you avoid apathy? Depends on what you call apathy. I believe that everything will work out for the best when we are at our most efficient and are secure in our beliefs, whether they are politically correct, or not.

[InaF3157]

Thank you all for your suggestions.
I think kitty has found her catnip and a new scratching post. *purr*

[runvardh]

Thank you all for your suggestions.
I think kitty has found her catnip and a new scratching post. *purr*

Catnip? Where?! :happy2:

[InaF3157]

Catnip? Where?! :happy2:

Ahem . . .
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1156/557400726_2a377bdfd5.jpg?v=0

[runvardh]

:puppy_dog_eyes: :( :cry:

*pads off looking for a couch to destroy*

[iwakar]

...in between bouts of couch-drooling stupor about how to overcome my apathy until it passes. I don't know that it's so much a solution as just "waiting it out."

:unsure:



*typo*

[Spectre of the spam]

I do something that frightens me or excites me. It usually doesn't work to long but it temporarily does the trick.