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sandbeige
08-02-2008, 06:21 PM
My mum is an ESFP and she seems to have no interests except for being around other people. It wouldn’t be so bad, if these people were other people, but very often it is me. It’s like she was addicted to other people’s attention (or maybe my attention) and if there’s nobody else around I have to substitute for them. So she calls me every day to tell me how her day was, what she was doing etc. She wants me to come home every weekend (we live in different cities) and so on. She has few close friends but they have their own lives, other friends, kids, so they can’t be with her all the time. Obviously I don’t feel the same (sometimes I would like to forgot about the fact I have parents) and am already little fed up with that situation. I should also say that I am the only child and all her attention focuses on me.

So, my question is what do you esfps do during weekends, when have too much of free time, or feel lonely. Is there anything youl like doing on your own, with no company? Is it normal that you are so needy and prone to depression when lonely…?

thx

CaptainChick
08-02-2008, 06:29 PM
Hmm, my mom is an ESFJ and she seems to "suffer" from the same kind of thing.

I'm not sure if it's a type thing, though.

sciski
08-02-2008, 11:24 PM
ESFPs hate being alone. I'm not entirely sure why - maybe I'll ask them.

Sunshine
08-02-2008, 11:27 PM
Me and my ESFP best friend LOVE to paint! We do it whenever we can. She's talented too! So the answer is "Yes, ESFPs do indeed have interests and hobbies."


Lol tell your mom she can come over and hang out with me and my friend.

OH! What if you encouraged her to join some group thing? Like a dance class or something? Does she like to dance? Or an art class. Or a karate class. Or an adult soccer team. Or some cause maybe? Those are always great...like ummm....feeding the homeless or helping out some cancer research organization...or something like that.

Sunshine
08-02-2008, 11:32 PM
ESFPs hate being alone. I'm not entirely sure why - maybe I'll ask them.

Everyone hates being alone.....even introverts if the alone-ness is excessive. As human beings we are social creatures. Subconciously we know how bad we need each other hence the hatred of being alone.

Loneliness = :cry:

sciski
08-02-2008, 11:38 PM
Everyone hates being alone.....even introverts if the alone-ness is excessive. As human beings we are social creatures. Subconciously we know how bad we need each other hence the hatred of being alone.

Loneliness = :cry:

That's very true. But I'm talking about 30 minutes of solitude here, not a day. :shock:

Sunshine
08-02-2008, 11:40 PM
That's very true. But I'm talking about 30 minutes of solitude here, not a day. :shock:

Boredom maybe?

sciski
08-02-2008, 11:44 PM
Quite possibly!

Oops- want to be more helpful here.

Interests:
My male ESFP friend gets out his guitar/video console game and plays them both to bits when he is alone. Now he has a pet so he plays with the pet as well.

chris1207
08-03-2008, 04:10 AM
I think that EXFX's in general can have a really tough time dealing with being alone. Our self-worth relies so much on having friends and being able to get out and do things and if we can't we're lonely.

Making friends is one of those deals where when you have them it's easy to get more but when you have few you're kind of stuck in a rut. I've been stuck in a rut all my life but I have no problems being alone anymore. I just go into alone mode. I used to really beat myself up for being such a loser but I've embraced that loserdom now. Thx MBTI!

I'm just like your mom. I don't really have any hobbies. I don't pester anyone though. ENFJ's are much more considerate than most types. I just read on MBTI forums, read up on technology (mostly mp3 players), listen to music, lil tv, some videogames and work. That's it beyond the necessities. It's difficult to get excited about something if you don't have someone to get excited with. oh well...

Randomnity
08-03-2008, 02:20 PM
My ESFP friend/acquaintance is in a band and I think researching and buying musical instruments is his biggest hobby (certainly his most expensive).

He also plays warhammer and magic. Oh wait none of those are solitary. Uhh...I dunno, I've never really asked him. /useless post

OneWithSoul
08-07-2008, 01:30 AM
My Best friend is an ESFP, and he is entirely involved in music. He plays the french horn, he sings in all sorts of choirs, and he acts in musicals too.

alicia91
08-07-2008, 01:39 AM
The ESFPs that I know are young - teens, 20's but they are all like you describe - need to be around people, etc. They are into competitive swimming, lifeguarding, singing in a choir, babysitting or volunteering with kids. Could your mom join some kind of club, group, even do a sport? That would get her out of the house, and have other people to focus on - not just you.