ISTJs & Feelings

[2XtremeENFP]

I don't know if this quality goes across all ISTJs or with just the one that I know...but...

if an ISTJ ever decides on something by their "feelings" instead of "thinking", do they feel like they have no self control? If so, why is that?

[dnivera]

Yes. If I make an impulse decision - say I decide to get a cream puff instead of a chocolate biscotti - I often feel regret. I'd rather spend some time deliberating beforehand. I'd scold myself for not making a better decision and beat myself up for having to suffer the consequences.

[Jennifer]

Yes. If I make an impulse decision - say I decide to get a cream puff instead of a chocolate biscotti - I often feel regret. I'd rather spend some time deliberating beforehand. I'd scold myself for not making a better decision and beat myself up for having to suffer the consequences.

It's funny you focused on sensory-related choices.

What about relational ones, such as when you feel angry with someone?

[dnivera]

It's funny you focused on sensory-related choices.

What about relational ones, such as when you feel angry with someone?

Hmm. Do I feel out of control when that happens? Yes, because that behavior was unpredicted. It wasn't part of the "itinerary" to have an argument or have our day ruined by anger.
Are fights ever planned or scheduled? No, and that makes me feel out of control because the rest of my day gets thrown off-kilter.

[2XtremeENFP]

How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?

[aguanile]

I hate! making feelings-based decisions and I generally regret it afterwards

[dnivera]

Depends on how important the decision is to the ISTJ.

A good way to show an ISTJ that it's OK to make decisions based on feelings is by showing them that over-thinking decisions, without listening to your gut, can have negative consequences. For example, an ISTJ pre-med was flunking all of his classes and compromising his health but still wouldn't change majors so he wouldn't disappoint his parents' expectations of becoming a doctor. He pursued this goal even though everything else suffered.

[Jennifer]

Depends on how important the decision is to the ISTJ.

A good way to show an ISTJ that it's OK to make decisions based on feelings is by showing them that over-thinking decisions, without listening to your gut, can have negative consequences. For example, an ISTJ pre-med was flunking all of his classes and compromising his health but still wouldn't change majors so he wouldn't disappoint his parents' expectations of becoming a doctor. He pursued this goal even though everything else suffered.

But don't you still then just approach it through Thinking again?

IOW, the ISTJ is still thinking through things. Logically, if one's health suffers enough, then it becomes more logical to suffer the parents disappointment than to kill oneself through overwork. Does the ISTJ approach it with logic, in that sort of way, rather than still "feeling" it? The logic is still making the decision, except the "gut" is now credited as a valid source of information that must be taken into account rather than viewed suspiciously.

I'm just curious, this is a very insightful thread. :)

[dnivera]

Yup, I agree it's still thinking in this case.

Maybe F is just really foreign to me!

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

Very interesting! My husband is ISTJ. After 16 years of marriage, only now am I beginning to understand him.

He definitely thinks through any decision he makes (and re-thinks, and scrutinizes...)

It takes him several months to decide on a car. He will research magazines, internet, in person, etc. He will ultimately know more about a vehicle than the salesperson does. Boy, does he beat himself up if every step isn't planned and executed very precisely.

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?

Hmmm. I am imagining how I'd react if my ISTJ husband tried to convince my very ENFP self to research something to death, and plan it out from start to finish. The very thought of that makes me cringe. So, I imagine if I somehow convinced him to hop in the car and drive to some unknown destination (we'll figure it out as we go...) He would quite likely implode. Bottom line? Nope, I don't think I, or anyone else, could convince him to make a decision based on feelings, and result in him feeling good about it.

[Jennifer]

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

Oooooh. So, this would explain why my husband thinks I am a bit loony. But, the way I figure, we balance each other out.

[Jennifer]

Oooooh. So, this would explain why my husband thinks I am a bit loony. But, the way I figure, we balance each other out.

yeah, I would prefer the phrase "balance each other out" to "cancel each other out.:" :)

Honestly, if you guys can make it work, you both can compensate for weaknesses and help each other grow stronger.

[IntermitntTranquiliT]

yeah, I would prefer the phrase "balance each other out" to "cancel each other out.:" :)

Honestly, if you guys can make it work, you both can compensate for weaknesses and help each other grow stronger.

It's true. Together, we are centered.

Besides... I cannot imagine two of ME living in the same house....:17425:

[2XtremeENFP]

Yeah, being an ENFP it's sometimes hard to understand ISTJs being exact opposites and all :)

It's just so hard for me to grasp and understand how a person could want something so bad and then talk themselves out of it. It's just foreign to me. If there's a decision that needs to be made and my heart overweighs my mind, I choose heart. haha, too much F i suppose

[Hmm]

Just want to point out we also need to avoid equating "Thinking" to J and "Feeling" to P.

Many ISFJs (also with the Si primary) also have a strong need to plan, have closure, and keep things structured or they fall apart. The weakness for both types is Ne. Ne scares them, and usually if it is not developed, it comes out as paranoia about the future if things cannot be clarified or extreme distrust of people who seem unpredictable/spontaneous to them.

The T/F difference here usually plays out in that ISTJ will be happier if things "make sense" whereas the ISFJ can settle for "group harmony" as a priority in their search for structure.

Yeah. :yes:

Jennifer, I wish I could hire you to explain me to the people I know in real life. lol

[Mondo]

How can you convince an ISTJ that, at times, it's okay to make a decision based off feeling rather than logic? or is there no way to?

I have a question for you.
When would you consider it to be okay to make a decision based off feeling?
I find that I can often apply logic to make decisions that ensure that those around me are satisfied- being diplomatic and logical are not mutually exclusive.

[2XtremeENFP]

I have a question for you.
When would you consider it to be okay to make a decision based off feeling?
I find that I can often apply logic to make decisions that ensure that those around me are satisfied- being diplomatic and logical are not mutually exclusive.
__________________

See, I find that using my feeling helps me keep harmony in a group or any other situation. Logically, there could be better choices maybe, but at times, I find logically based decisions to be cut-throat and not thinking about others feelings.

A stupid example, but nonetheless an example, if a group of people wanted to do something that I wasn't going to be entertained by, I would decide to do it so other people can have fun and I don't want to stand in the way of what a whole group wants. But I feel, some Ts that I know, would rather sit out on an activity or even try and persuade others to do what they want to do, because they don't like a certain activity, and therefore they find it illogical to suck it up and partake in it.

Ah, does that make any sense??

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I feel like Ts are very logical, but look out for themselves when making a decision.

[Mondo]

See, I find that using my feeling helps me keep harmony in a group or any other situation. Logically, there could be better choices maybe, but at times, I find logically based decisions to be cut-throat and not thinking about others feelings.

A stupid example, but nonetheless an example, if a group of people wanted to do something that I wasn't going to be entertained by, I would decide to do it so other people can have fun and I don't want to stand in the way of what a whole group wants. But I feel, some Ts that I know, would rather sit out on an activity or even try and persuade others to do what they want to do, because they don't like a certain activity, and therefore they find it illogical to suck it up and partake in it.

Ah, does that make any sense??

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I feel like Ts are very logical, but look out for themselves when making a decision.

I get what you're saying. That's something that really bugs me about my INTJ friend actually. In that case, I would go on with the activity but also point out some things we could do next time that I think we'll all enjoy.

I can think of an example where I relate to this much.. my friends and I love this movie called "Grindhouse".. I thought it was awesome the first time and the second time.. but after seeing it five times.. it's getting kind of old but it seems that most of my friends still want to see it over and over again- ugh! I'm thankful for two things in that respect.

a.) I have one other friend who doesn't want to see the movie again- after seeing it four or five times.
b.) I have possession of the movie..

[PinkIceTD]

Yeah, being an ENFP it's sometimes hard to understand ISTJs being exact opposites and all :)

It's just so hard for me to grasp and understand how a person could want something so bad and then talk themselves out of it. It's just foreign to me. If there's a decision that needs to be made and my heart overweighs my mind, I choose heart. haha, too much F i suppose

I have never heard ANYTHING that rang more true to me. I have an ISTJ friend and I am only starting to understand him a little, but I still can't imagine making decisions the way he does. Sometimes I do admire it though...

[Jack Flak]

The ISTJs I've known seem to have an unhealthy relationship with their emotions. They don't understand their feelings, and their feelings can get the better of them. I don't have a solution to this problem to offer.

[PinkIceTD]

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...

[Jack Flak]

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...
For the record, I was only referring to their contentment, not the contentment of the company they keep.

[Leysing]

My ISTJ father is a real drama queen when he is too stressed to control his emotions. Beats my ESFJ mother.

[Beat]

I don't think it's unhealthy, but maybe just not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway...

This is about accurate. For me anyways.

[2XtremeENFP]

Hmm the ISTJs I know don't even consider other people's feelings in their decisions

[ShinyRoo]

Hmm the ISTJs I know don't even consider other people's feelings in their decisions

I am an ISTJ and I always consider other people's feelings, maybe too much sometimes. I think I do that out of a sense of knowing it is the "right thing to do" and I "should" do it. I also do it because it avoids later conflict and I hate conflict (weird for a T, I know). When I was little, I didn't account for others and I was ALWAYS making my F parents mad! So, I learned.

[Condor]

I can't consider the feelings of someone else when I make a decision. I don't consider myself a cold-hearted so-and-so (although others do); it's simply a matter of expediency. Since I have no sense of how another human being internalizes anything (each will react according to his or her own sense of values and experiences) attempting to factor that into a decision seems kind of counter-productive.

With regard to my own feelings, I express them; but I also understand why I feel happy, sad, etc. As an example, one of the things that amuses me about people is when they drive. People who speed up to pass me and then slam on the brakes to stop at the light that I know is going to turn red always gets a wry smile from me. The smile is not based on what theydid (or didn't do); it's the feeling of wondering if they learned something from the experience and realizing they probably didn't. They are then classified as potential hazards and the feeling passes.

[animenagai]

Since I have no sense of how another human being internalizes anything (each will react according to his or her own sense of values and experiences) attempting to factor that into a decision seems kind of counter-productive.


i think this is the key point of the whole thread. i think a lot of people here, especially F's think that they know how to read people very well. ISTJ's may find the notion of identifying feelings of others, of themselves, alien. therefore, the logical thing for them to do is to not put it into the picture. the way to let an ISTJ talk about emotions could therefore be explaining to them how emotions are a logical variable at least, therefore they can address them with more confidnece.

[Condor]

i think this is the key point of the whole thread. i think a lot of people here, especially F's think that they know how to read people very well. ISTJ's may find the notion of identifying feelings of others, of themselves, alien. therefore, the logical thing for them to do is to not put it into the picture. the way to let an ISTJ talk about emotions could therefore be explaining to them how emotions are a logical variable at least, therefore they can address them with more confidnece.

I agree it's probably the point of the thread, but please allow me to expand my point - I have no need to understand how someone will internalize. By definition, the process is unique to each individual.

I understand the difference between feelings and emotions. (For me) emotions are the responses to feelings. I can feel contentment and still not let an emotion be the basis for any action I may or may not take. Emotions simply have no value other than the expression of a feeling. Let it come, pass, and then move on with what's important.

[mlittrell]

Depends on how important the decision is to the ISTJ.

A good way to show an ISTJ that it's OK to make decisions based on feelings is by showing them that over-thinking decisions, without listening to your gut, can have negative consequences. For example, an ISTJ pre-med was flunking all of his classes and compromising his health but still wouldn't change majors so he wouldn't disappoint his parents' expectations of becoming a doctor. He pursued this goal even though everything else suffered.

Good call. Intelligent answer. Nice to see some ISTJ's round here.

[Zeldias]

I am engaged to an ISTJ and my best friend is ISTP. Dangerous territory, since I'm an INFP; luckily, though, I have some out of type traits with my F (tough rather than tender, questioning rather than accepting), so I can manage a masquerade as a T.

Anyways, in my experience, folks with S and T either account for people's feelings too much or hardly at all. For example, my ISTP friend used to constantly concern himself with the feelings of others, even in situations in which he should have only looked after number one! In the end, I would enter the situation, kick some ass, help him out, and he'd learn by example. Still kind of wimpy about stuff, but I've toughened him up some.

My ISTJ fiancee' seems to sacrifice herself for other people because of things like "Well, we used to be friends," and so on. Seems to me that her sense of duty is how she navigates, and sometimes it causes her to damn what it costs her personally. Very strange to me; I admire the whole duty-oriented style and I appreciate her values, but it's hard for me to imagine the past as being a powerful impetus for the future. Sometimes it is, but I generally don't look backward as much as she does. She also has this affinity for doing mundane things like buying cookware and making dinner that she's romanticized; the other day, she was sighing almost dreamily about carrying out errands and such with me!

In general, I find that T types care too much or too little about the feelings of themselves and those around them. ISTJs in particular seem to either care too much because of a sense of traditionalist duty or care too little from a sense of organizational responsibility.

[Bella]

I don't know if this quality goes across all ISTJs or with just the one that I know...but...

if an ISTJ ever decides on something by their "feelings" instead of "thinking", do they feel like they have no self control? If so, why is that?

I think it's the lack of planning that makes us dislike making decisions based on feeling. Planning and thinking ahead etc when making a decision makes you feel in control. So, yes, it is probabaly a case of control vs spantaniety.

Heaven forbid, spontaneity......;)

[Cimarron]

This thread is full of great responses for non-ISTJs to pore over.

At first, this quote didn't catch my eye, but when I did read it through, I was in very strong agreement:
...not expressed in a way that satisfies other people. I think they're okay with their emotions, but conflict comes when they try to please other people with their expression of them. IMO anyway... Which is something that probably a lot of T's can identify with, anyway, feeling frustrated when other people basically "require" us to outwardly express our emotions.

And the post near the beginning of this thread also made a good point, that in place of using Feeling itself to make a decision, we analyze the emotional landscape with Thinking to make it. At least, that sounds about right.

[2XtremeENFP]

i think it's the lack of planning that makes us dislike making decisions based on feeling. Planning and thinking ahead etc when making a decision makes you feel in control. So, yes, it is probabaly a case of control vs spantaniety.

This statement actually seems to make sense :) thanks!


what I really really want to know is when there is a conflict of interest between the heart (for lack of a better word) and the brain... why does the brain ALWAYS win?
With me, sure, when I feel there's a moral conflict, my brain will outway what my heart (feelings.. whatever) wants to do mainly because a person's brain knows right and wrong when the heart is blind to it...

However.. when there is no clear right or wrong answer... why can't the heart ever overrule the brain with ISTJs?

[Bella]

I don't know if this quality goes across all ISTJs or with just the one that I know...but...

if an ISTJ ever decides on something by their "feelings" instead of "thinking", do they feel like they have no self control? If so, why is that?

After an unpleasent little encounter I have this contribution to make. Not giving the example though, only the conclusion.

With regards to human interaction I will let thinking override feeling purely to avoid being vulnarable or possibly making a fool of myself. Potentially expressed emotions(that heaven forbid! could possibly bring softness to the situation) gets suppressed by very strong thinking/rationalization of why it would be stupid to express these emotions.

[Condor]

This statement actually seems to make sense :) thanks!


what I really really want to know is when there is a conflict of interest between the heart (for lack of a better word) and the brain... why does the brain ALWAYS win?
With me, sure, when I feel there's a moral conflict, my brain will outway what my heart (feelings.. whatever) wants to do mainly because a person's brain knows right and wrong when the heart is blind to it...

However.. when there is no clear right or wrong answer... why can't the heart ever overrule the brain with ISTJs?

Perhaps I can offer what dances around the vacuum between my ears for consideration -

When making a decision regarding "heart vs. brain" the choice (from my personally warped perspective) is not "heart vs. brain", but "brain vs. brain." I think through the act of an emotional response versus a purely cognitive response. I think it comes down to a question of priorities: if the emotional response is the priority, then I employ it. So I guess the heart occasionally wins out, but only if it is associated with what I have defined as what is important.

[Bella]

This statement actually seems to make sense :) thanks!


what I really really want to know is when there is a conflict of interest between the heart (for lack of a better word) and the brain... why does the brain ALWAYS win?
With me, sure, when I feel there's a moral conflict, my brain will outway what my heart (feelings.. whatever) wants to do mainly because a person's brain knows right and wrong when the heart is blind to it...

However.. when there is no clear right or wrong answer... why can't the heart ever overrule the brain with ISTJs?

Maybe we don't feel worthy of the indulgence of giving in to feelings. We can be stupidly hard on our selves, after all.

[silversun]

I think it's the lack of planning that makes us dislike making decisions based on feeling. Planning and thinking ahead etc when making a decision makes you feel in control. So, yes, it is probabaly a case of control vs spantaniety.

Heaven forbid, spontaneity......;)

I'm pretty sure my dad is an ISTJ. He rarely makes gut decisions. He always researches everything (vacation, electronics, restaurants) before deciding. He was so confused when I said I wanted a new computer.. he fought it SO hard. Just couldn't see why I needed it. He's sort of self-centered =/ My mom sometimes buys things in secret. Alas, one day on vacation in Florida we were trying to find a restaurant to eat at. We drove up the entire road, past all kinds of places. I saw a Boston Market and was like, "let's eat there!". Of course since dad is driving the car, we have to see ALL the possibilities (and get lost on side streets a few times) before ending up at, what do you know, Boston Market.

Though actually I sometimes have a run-in with his feelings. When he's upset, he makes it very visible. He sits at the kitchen table with his head in his hands trying to send everyone on a guilt trip. Other times I start arguments about his faults and I think it really hurts his feelings, but what do I care, I'm an INTJ.

He had the worst temper too, for a long time. It's not so bad now. I will always remember how he would turn purple in less than 10 seconds with his eyes bulging out of his head.. scariest thing I will ever see.

He never spent time with me or my brother when we were children because he was too busy being "productive". He never has time to fix things anymore but he still insists that eventually he'll get around to it. Hire someone to fix it? Of course not! That's why the ceiling tiles in the basement still aren't all in.

[burkeus]

what I really really want to know is when there is a conflict of interest between the heart (for lack of a better word) and the brain... why does the brain ALWAYS win?

With regards to human interaction I will let thinking override feeling purely to avoid being vulnarable or possibly making a fool of myself. Potentially expressed emotions(that heaven forbid! could possibly bring softness to the situation) gets suppressed by very strong thinking/rationalization of why it would be stupid to express these emotions.

[bbites]

I usually plan things. On the rare occassion I let my feelings override my plan I experience guilt afterward. And then I feel I have to go back to the beginning of the plan.

I apologize if this isn't the sort of response you were looking for.

[2XtremeENFP]

No, i understand that makes sense...
so is it safe to say that ISTJ's tend to feel guilty so they try not to feel that way?

[bbites]

No, i understand that makes sense...
so is it safe to say that ISTJ's tend to feel guilty so they try not to feel that way?

I can't speak for anyone else but that is true for me.

[Anja]

Guilty feelings are a major hook for my ISTJ.

[Cimarron]

I was just about to say that I feel guilt very strongly. Maybe it's Fi, inward-pointing emotion?

[Bella]

I was just about to say that I feel guilt very strongly. Maybe it's Fi, inward-pointing emotion?

It would be nice if someone could explain this.

[Cimarron]

It would be nice if someone could explain this.
Explain what? Keep in mind that I may just be talking "out of my rear".

[Bella]

Explain what? Keep in mind that I may just be talking "out of my rear".

No, you're 'rear's' doing just fine....

I was talking about ISTJ's guilt issues. It seems like a few of us agree on this.

[mlittrell]

i truthfully wish there were more sensors on mbtic, im enjoying this much more then half that crap on the intuitive boards lol.

[Bella]

i truthfully wish there were more sensors on mbtic, im enjoying this much more then half that crap on the intuitive boards lol.

Ah, really? That's nice to hear. Something other than N snobbery for a change.
(yes, I know, not every N's a snob)

[Antisocial one]

Ah, really? That's nice to hear. Something other than N snobbery for a change.
(yes, I know, not every N's a snob)

If you want to know I also think that forum needs more sensors to become what it should be.

[Beat]

Sensing is where it's at.

*digs nose into the carpet and continues sniffing about the room*

[Hmm]

Ah, really? That's nice to hear. Something other than N snobbery for a change.
(yes, I know, not every N's a snob)

:yes:

Also, ISTJ's seem to have very strong feelings to my perception. They're just not big on expressing them at every chance they can like other types do.

[EvanTheClown]

My brother is an ISTJ. We joke about how between the 2 of us we have all our bases covered, seeing as we cover all 8 possible MBTI letters.

To me, it seems he doesn't understand his feelings and that they get in the way of his logic on the rare occasion that his soul decides to jump into his decision making process. I'm sure if he could live in a world without feelings, he'd be a lot more comfortable there. The flipside to this is that he has very definite emotions that he calls upon whenever he's in a very comfortable situation like talking with his closest friends or to me (I kind-of acted as a pseudotherapist for him during our younger years I guess, maybe just because I was the only person close enough to him that was willing to listen), so I can see his emotional gears turn underneath all the brainwork. Comprehending him still confuses me to a degree, though.

I think he knows that feelings can sometimes take priority and have a heavier influence on how you should act as long as its a feeling-related event taking place (as in relationships, he's going to delve into his heart and try to see how he really feels and explain it to himself with logic internally to help him better enforce his epiphanies when the time comes for emotional debate)

I hope most of that made sense.

[hermeticdancer]

Very interesting! My husband is ISTJ. After 16 years of marriage, only now am I beginning to understand him.

He definitely thinks through any decision he makes (and re-thinks, and scrutinizes...)

It takes him several months to decide on a car. He will research magazines, internet, in person, etc. He will ultimately know more about a vehicle than the salesperson does. Boy, does he beat himself up if every step isn't planned and executed very precisely.

Ive seen this in my ISTJ bf too.
He would rather maximize, or inspect everything before making a decision.
He talks a lot about what he may, or may not buy, and things.
Like motor cycles, and guns, and just things he wants. He's been wanting to go on a trip for years but hasn't done so yet because he's a perfectionist.

I'm wondering if he has Obsessive Compulsive personality disorder... lol

He is certainly preoccupied with details of all the things in this damn world.

[PinkIceTD]

I'm wondering if he has Obsessive Compulsive personality disorder... lol



No seriously though, does this thing about thinking and scrutinizing and re-checking ever become a hinderance to the ISTJ or is just to other people that it becomes a problem.

Like with the person that said their husband has been going on a trip for years and hasn't gone yet...I would think you decide it you want to go, plan for it, then go. All this detailing just gets in the way.

[Cimarron]

No seriously though, does this thing about thinking and scrutinizing and re-checking ever become a hinderance to the ISTJ or is just to other people that it becomes a problem?

Like with the person that said their husband has been going on a trip for years and hasn't gone yet...I would think you decide it you want to go, plan for it, then go. All this detailing just gets in the way. Yes, it can be a hindrance at times, it really can. :( Don't know how to explain it, but it follows the train of thought that "as long as I can sort this all out, and figure out every detail, I can fix everything in the end". I even have little nervous habits (comparable to biting fingernails) that seemed to be based on this principle, somehow.

[hermeticdancer]

Yes, it can be a hindrance at times, it really can. :( Don't know how to explain it, but it follows the train of thought that "as long as I can sort this all out, and figure out every detail, I can fix everything in the end". I even have little nervous habits (comparable to biting fingernails) that seemed to be based on this principle, somehow.

Total OCD!
I can relate to this though. I tend to obsess about relationships. Perhaps the ISTJs obsess about something else. I think we all be better people on Zoloft:violin::violin:!

Kind of a sweeping generalization but who knows.

[hermeticdancer]

I can't consider the feelings of someone else when I make a decision. I don't consider myself a cold-hearted so-and-so (although others do); it's simply a matter of expediency. Since I have no sense of how another human being internalizes anything (each will react according to his or her own sense of values and experiences) attempting to factor that into a decision seems kind of counter-productive.

With regard to my own feelings, I express them; but I also understand why I feel happy, sad, etc. As an example, one of the things that amuses me about people is when they drive. People who speed up to pass me and then slam on the brakes to stop at the light that I know is going to turn red always gets a wry smile from me. The smile is not based on what theydid (or didn't do); it's the feeling of wondering if they learned something from the experience and realizing they probably didn't. They are then classified as potential hazards and the feeling passes.
You sound pretty detached and cynical.
lol

[PinkIceTD]

lol

[batumi]

:yes:

Also, ISTJ's seem to have very strong feelings to my perception. They're just not big on expressing them at every chance they can like other types do.

Really? What makes you say this?