Competitiveness

[Hmm]

The recent addition of the Most Awesome Arcade here has prompted me to ponder the concept of competitiveness. What makes people so competitive with each other? What is the root cause of it? What do you gain? And do you think men and women enjoy competing against each other, or do they prefer to compete with their same gender? Are you competitive?

[ThatGirl]

I'm not competitive in a win or loose sense but I do like to push myself to better standards by evalutating myself against others. If you can do it how did you do it and is it something I can do, type of thing.

[nolla]

I guess it has something to do with most men being "hunters" by their nature. But, in that case women should be nurturers. I believe that while feminism made progress by having women think themselves equal, it partially failed by making women act like men (which is requirement for success in a male dominated world). This makes women more competitive also, and twists them into something they are not supposed to be.

Myself, I am not competitive at all, never been. I think its because competitiveness is more of an extrovert thing. Only thing that keeps me motivated is the result of the work I do, and maybe achieving something that I couldn't do before.

[Night]

I'm not very competitive with others.

I tend to pour intensity into my inner psychological "sanctum". I set goals within myself and regiment my lifestyle/work habits to accomplish my desired end.

Sometimes fleshing-out the ideal requires additional craftsmanship - I find that it's important to have an ever-evolving blueprint available. The maturation of which grants greater clarity into one's true goal (sometimes hidden from immediate view).

[Edahn]

The recent addition of the Most Awesome Arcade here has prompted me to ponder the concept of competitiveness. What makes people so competitive with each other? What is the root cause of it? What do you gain? And do you think men and women enjoy competing against each other, or do they prefer to compete with their same gender? Are you competitive?

It's genetic. We're wired to compete with each other for everything: people, food, resources, attention. I'm pretty competitive when I have a chance.

[Night]

It's genetic. We're wired to compete with each other for everything: people, food, resources, attention. I'm pretty competitive when I have a chance.

Edahn makes a great point.

Within our competitive nature, we also find hardwired a superabundant urge to pool our resources, as to hedge the probability of our shared genetic code to thrive.

Accommodation and competition are shades of the same conversation.

[MetalWounds]

I find that a bit of healthy competition with females is very attractive.

[Hmm]

I think competitiveness is natural but I must ask these things to understand....

Just because it's natural does that mean that we should exercise it? Why are some forms of competitiveness okay and others are not (like World War from example)?

[pure_mercury]

I like to know that I am pushed to improve my performance in various aspects of life. Also, especially for us males, (friendly) competition can teach how to assert yourself, whilst still following "the rules of the game," and how to be gracious in both victory and defeat. Team competition is great at forming bonds of camaraderie with your teammates, as well.

[GZA]

I'm not competitive with other people. I once had a very long conversation/discussion/argument about competition with a very competitive guy I sat beside in grade 9 science. He said, as ThatGirl said, that he can only measure his own success and can only push himself by trying to better another person. I said that I only measure against myself, and that before I can be better than someone who is better than myself I have to be better than myself in the first place, so I just focus on that. Most of the stuff i like to do you couldn't really compete in anyway (i.e. music... it's pretty difficult to measure if someone is better or makes better music unless they learn in the exact same way in the same amount of time and play the same style).

[nottaprettygal]

I don't know if I necessarily gain anything from being competitive. I compete simply because I think that it's fun. Regardless, I still try to keep the feelings of others in mind. Therefore, even when I really really want to, I often refrain from yelling, "Suck it, bitch!"

I suppose that I could gain the knowledge that I'm better at something than someone else. . . but honestly, I think more about the billions of people out there that are still better than me. Except for Snake. . . I'm definitely the best Snake player EVER.

[Wyst]

What makes people so competitive with each other? What is the root cause of it? What do you gain? And do you think men and women enjoy competing against each other, or do they prefer to compete with their same gender? Are you competitive?

I think some people are competitive and some just aren't. No reason or rhyme to it - although I'd say you could guage how competitive someone could be based on their type. Perhaps the root cause is a drive to prove yourself to others, competing with yourself, or maybe you're just good at something and love doing it better than others.
I like competing against both men and women. In areas physical and non-physical. All the boggle/scrabble players that can really kick my ass are women.
I think by competing with people you understand each other better - that could be several things. For example, you realize how much you dislike someone, like someone, respect someone, enjoy being around them in all kinds of situations (not just non-competitive), and you can certainly learn more about yourself when competing.
I, myself, can be competitive under the right circumstances. But, as an INFJ, it has to be something I'm invested in and care a lot about. I couldn't care less for debating about politics and sports or board games, for the post part, and so I won't go through the trouble and waste energy to endure the conflict and confrontation to put my views out there. I come from a family of competitors and their always saying, 'hey let's play dominoes/cards..." and I don't want to go near that bed of trash talking.
On the other hand, music, movies, food/coffee, and weight lifting (random, yes) I'm very open for debating on/being competitive in.

[booyalab]

Just because it's natural does that mean that we should exercise it?
I don't believe anyone thinks that we should exercise it just because it's natural, except maybe Nietzsche.


Why are some forms of competitiveness okay and others are not (like World War from example)?
I think you can generalize that morally favorable competition has ground rules while unfavorable competition doesn't. Anything goes in war, cheating and killing are practically mandatory. In a soccer match those things are frowned upon.

[Edahn]

I think competitiveness is natural but I must ask these things to understand....

Just because it's natural does that mean that we should exercise it? Why are some forms of competitiveness okay and others are not (like World War from example)?

No, because I don't think you can really build an ethical system based on what's "natural" because if you zoom out enough, everything people do is "natural." To me, ethics are about responsibility and being conscious of a certain outcome, so, having natural urges is one thing, but how to express those urges is another.

Things like war aren't always frowned upon. Some wars are seen as helping oppressed civilians. I think what people are bothered by is not the competition, but the intention. If a country goes in to make life better for the underdog, they're given some leeway to hurt others. If a county is looking out for its own needs and neglecting the welfare of others, some (but certainly not all) will look down upon it. Then again, some people (Ghandi, many Buddhist, Jains) always frown upon active aggression.

[pure_mercury]

On the other hand, music, movies, food/coffee, and weight lifting (random, yes) I'm very open for debating on/competitive in.

I could use some workout tips. And some movie/music debates!

[prplchknz]

I'm competetive though you would never guess it by looking at me. I don't care if I win or lose but I do care if I try my best. I like a challenge. speaking of which I need to get back to tetris so I can get 1st place.

[Hmm]

No, because I don't think you can really build an ethical system based on what's "natural" because if you zoom out enough, everything people do is "natural." To me, ethics are about responsibility and being conscious of a certain outcome, so, having natural urges is one thing, but how to express those urges is another.

What if I say that I think it's unethical and irresponsible of you that you are always winning at Solitaire because I want to win, and when I don't it is detrimental to my natural urge to have a healthy self-esteem, which winning at Solitaire helps to build. Just sayin...

[Edahn]

What if I say that I think it's unethical and irresponsible of you that you are always winning at Solitaire because I want to win, and when I don't it is detrimental to my natural urge to have a healthy self-esteem, which winning at Solitaire helps to build. Just sayin...

:violin:

[Night]

Except for Snake. . . I'm definitely the best Snake player EVER.

I agree.

There are certain games in which I'm unswerving in my lack of compromise.

Mario Kart 64, for example. I briefly held a national record in Wario Stadium.

[Hmm]

Is it really fair to dismiss aggression or might as a legitimate means to compete?

[booyalab]

What if I say that I think it's unethical and irresponsible of you that you are always winning at Solitaire because I want to win, and when I don't it is detrimental to my natural urge to have a healthy self-esteem, which winning at Solitaire helps to build. Just sayin...

That attitude pretty much sums up the philosophy of the modern education system. It also sums up the philosophy of 3 year olds, or anyone old enough to understand the concept of a game but too immature to accept defeat.

[Leysing]

I guess it has something to do with most men being "hunters" by their nature. But, in that case women should be nurturers. I believe that while feminism made progress by having women think themselves equal, it partially failed by making women act like men (which is requirement for success in a male dominated world). This makes women more competitive also, and twists them into something they are not supposed to be.

Actually, nothing is supposed to be anything in a biological sense. Everything depends on the environment and its challenges. If things go on the way they are now, I suppose that female competitiveness will increase, as it starts to be a common, if not even favored characteristic especially in the western countries. This can be seen as lowering birth rates, for example. Women have "better things to do". And why couldn't personal development be a better thing to do? Selfish, maybe, but isn't the whole thing called evolution a very selfish process? My genes, my genes, my genes!

Many other animal species have competitive females. Cows fight, mares fight. Elephants, horses, cattle etc etc have the alpha-female as the herd/flock leader, and the alpha-male acts only as the Reproducer.

Many primates, however, are different because of the leading male. We are primates. (But, if we think in an evolutionary sense, things must always change, even the process itself.)

And - can I tell you a secret? I don't believe in evolution. I only believe in the adaptation of species, which does have its limits.

[Magic Poriferan]

Many primates, however, are different because of the leading male. We are primates. (But, if we think in an evolutionary sense, things must always change, even the process itself.)


However, bonobos are matriarchal and gibbons are a-societal pair bonders with equal relationships. Even our list of nearest relatives don't help us much in understand ourselves, since their habits are so inconsistent.

[sciski]

I like grinding people's faces into the dust when the outcome doesn't matter!

As long as it's not actually making anyone feel (seriously) bad to lose, I love to win.

[nolla]

Actually, nothing is supposed to be anything in a biological sense. Everything depends on the environment and its challenges. If things go on the way they are now, I suppose that female competitiveness will increase, as it starts to be a common, if not even favored characteristic especially in the western countries. This can be seen as lowering birth rates, for example. Women have "better things to do". And why couldn't personal development be a better thing to do? Selfish, maybe, but isn't the whole thing called evolution a very selfish process? My genes, my genes, my genes!

We are supposed to walk on two feet. I mean, we really are supposed to be what we would have been when we were "only animals". Culture just doesn't pay attention to it. I'm not saying that I would like to go back there, but Im sure that many of todays problems are caused by the loss of our animal heritage and meaning. The sexes are different, but that doesn't mean that one of them is weaker. I think that the culture should change so that women got the same money and respect by doing work that feels natural to them. Everyone should be able to do what they want, but now a girl has to turn into a man to get any respect as a leader, for example. Its wrong.


But, if we think in an evolutionary sense, things must always change, even the process itself.


Well, ok, if we talk about long enough time, then no, we are not supposed to be like we were on stone age, but evolution is really such a long process that you can't say that genes would have changed a lot since then.

[01011010]

Edahn is probably correct on why. I personally am not competitive with others. Only myself. I always want to improve my work, even if it's already great. Unless, there is a time line.

[Maverick]

The recent addition of the Most Awesome Arcade here has prompted me to ponder the concept of competitiveness. What makes people so competitive with each other? What is the root cause of it? What do you gain? And do you think men and women enjoy competing against each other, or do they prefer to compete with their same gender? Are you competitive?

a) Competition has the potential to enhance the overall "fitness" of a group. By competing, group members make an effort to become stronger and competition enables a hierarchy in the group based on ability, which is beneficial to members.

b) By competing, you gain strength and an idea of where you are in a social hierarchy compared to other people.

c) I think male competition is stereotypically more task focused (i.e. sports, video games, etc.) while female competition is stereotypically more socially focused (i.e. who is the most popular, who is the most succesful in life, etc.). I think women may enjoy competing against men more than men may enjoy competing against women due to prevailing prejudices about a so called "superiority" of males in some areas related to competence. This prejudice would drive women to "correct" the existing bias due to the perception of how gender relates to competence.

d) I am not competitive socially, but am sometimes in a given task. When it comes to the social realm, I do not compare myself to other people to assess how well I'm doing in society or life in general. There will always be someone better or worse than me, and my relative position is not as important as my overall happiness irrespective of my social rank. When it comes to a task, I try to be the best I can be and compete with my past performances by trying to better them (i.e. trying to beat my last timing when I run a given distance). Sometimes, though, I enjoy competing with other people in a task (i.e. playing poker to win).

[EffEmDoubleyou]

I'm very competitive, bordering on unhealthily competitive. Especially when the competition revolves around an area I consider myself an expert at. For example, I'm ruthless at bar trivia. I also find it a big turn-on to compete against a woman when the competition is very close. Games and contests are my favorite form of flirting.